Morning rays of sunlight filtered through the crack in the certain, small flakes of dust floating peacefully in the warmth. Clint lay beside me, one arm wrapped lazily over my waist and the other bundled up between our bodies, his hand resting in the crook of my neck. I gently lifted his arm off of my body and slid out of bed, admiring how much of a deep sleeper this man was. His face was totally free of any frown or grin, just a sleepy face topped with messy hair. I smiled, walking silently to the bathroom and brushing my teeth. I didn't bother to shower; I'd have one on the jet ride home. I got dressed in a tight black strapless top, which had patterns of gold forming lazy shapes. I slipped on a pair of high-waisted shorts and some heels, only a few centimetres high, which were a velvety black. I felt like the teenager I never got to be, dressed so casually in such girly things, so I decided to match the outfit with my hair, letting it fall over my shoulders in a waterfall of red curls, pinning the bangs that fell in my eyes, back with a clip. Topping the look off with some makeup, I was completely ready for the day.
We weren't required to do anything while we waited for our jet which came at seven tonight, so I decided we'd go for a day out in the streets of Italy. It was a bright, sunny day and I knew days off from work like this were rare, so I'd make the best of it. I wasn't much of a cook, so I just popped some toast in the toaster and boiled the kettle. Clint walked into the kitchen, his amazing body glowing in the morning light. I took in the sight of him as he did the same to me.
"Wow, Nat, every time I see you, you always manage to knock the breath out of my lungs." He smiled, and I rolled my eyes at his cheesy line.
"Thanks." I grabbed the toast as it popped out, buttering it and smothering it in honey, leaving Clint two pieces and one for me, grabbing an apple. I made our tea, two sugars for him, one for me, just the way we liked it, and we ate in silence, enjoying the moment.
"What time is it?" he swallowed the last bite of his toast as I chewed on my apple.
"Around nine thirty. Go get ready, we're spending the day out. Dress decently, you know how fashionable Italian people are, we don't want to look out of place." He just chuckled, walking out of the room. I finished my tea and apple, and he walked back into the kitchen, face looking refreshed and shaven, wearing a pair of jeans and a button up black top, showing off his muscles.
"Do you do that on purpose?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Do what?" he asked innocently, bending down to tie his shoelace of his black shoes.
"Be all muscley and shit. Do you like the attention?"
"I could say the same thing about you." He stood up straight, looking at my legs and winking before turning around and heading for our room to make the bed. I looked down at my legs. There's nothing wrong with them, is there?
There had been plenty of things to do out in the bright streets of Italy. There was beauty around every corner, all the old European buildings covered in vinery, the grape farm where we got to try the best wine ever made, and I'd secretly grabbed a bottle and stuffed it in my bag before anyone could even notice it was gone. We visited an amusement park, full of rides and cotton candy and exhibits. One man was doing a circus act, walking upon a tightrope with a harness wrapped around him while he juggled with three balls. He asked for a volunteer, and being me, I went up there, stood on the tightrope with my heels on and no harness, walked back and forth, jumped and flipped, juggled with nine balls and balanced on my toes. I got a great applause and earned that man a hat full of tips. He stared, tongue-tied, and closed his show and went home.
There was a ferris wheel, bigger than any one I have ever seen before, and I insisted that Clint and I go on.
"Here's a seat for the happy couple." The Italian mad said, opening the door and bowing as we entered and sat.
"We're not a couple." I smiled.
"Ah, I am sorry for my mistake, but you guys show so much love and fondness of each other." He smiled, closing the door and leaving us exchanging bashful glances as we went sky-high on the massive wheel. Clint had taken my hand and planted a soft kiss upon it, smiling up at me.
We went to the beach to watch the sunset, walking along the wet sand with our shoes in hand, and when the water washed up upon the shore, Clint took me in his arms bridal style and dangled me above the salty water, immune to my struggles and screams before he lifted me up and carried me effortlessly the rest of the way until the sun was gone and it was dark and the lights of Italy made the town glow.
Now we were in an old bar, which was lit by candles and a band played soft music on the small stage. There were dozens of people in here, the soft chatter of others made the atmosphere very light and friendly.
"The jet comes in an hour." I muttered, taking a sip from the old-fashioned goblet the bar served our drinks in. The wine was rich and full of flavour, almost as good as the one I pinched earlier on today. We were both already a bit intoxicated by the liquid, but nothing too bad.
"That's too bad, it has been such a nice day." Clint murmured back, and the waiter came with our dishes. We both got Spaghetti. Something fancy just wont fit the mood of the place.
"It has." I agreed, twirling the pasta on the fork and filling my hungry belly.
The song that the band were playing finished, and the room broke with a small applause.
"Thank you, thank you. Now, while we are on break, is there any volunteers in the crowd who'd like to come up on stage for a bit?" the singer said in Italian, and when no hands shot up, he sighed with disappointment and turned to leave the stage.
"I will."
"Clint?" he stood up from his chair, throwing his napkin on the table and taking his goblet with him.
"Oh, good! What do you need?"
"Acoustic guitar, please." He walked up on stage, lowering the mic and grabbing a chair, accepting the brown guitar that was handed to him as he rested it on his knees. My heart thudded against my chest, and I had no idea why.
"This is a song that I would like to dedicate to one very special girl, who's changed my life completely. I couldn't ask for a better partner than you, Nat. No one could compare." He raised his glass, nodding toward me. All eyes were suddenly upon me, and I felt myself blush and smile shyly.
Clint strummed the guitar lightly, as if to check that it worked, before starting the music that filled the air.
It was a slow tune, peaceful, the type that gave you goosebumps. And when his voice began to sing, I was sure my eyes would pop out of my head.
When it's black
Take a little time to hold yourself
Take a little time to feel around before it's gone
You wont let go but you still keep falling down
Remember how you save me now from all your wrongs
The verse was light, slow, intoxicating.
If there's love we'll feel it
And if there's life we'll see it
There's no time to be alone, alone yeah
I wont let you go
That chorus though, had so much power. My heart felt heavy and my eyes were stinging as the sweet words filled the room, his eyes closed as his voice continued to sing.
Say those words
Say those words like there's nothing else
Close your eyes and you might believe
That there is some way out
Yeah
Open up
Open up your heart to me now
Let it all come pouring out
There's nothing I can't take
And if there's love just feel it
And if there's life we'll see it
This is no time to be alone, alone yeah
I won't let you go
If your sky is falling
Just take my hand and hold it
You don't have to be alone, alone yeah
I won't let you go
Suddenly his eyes opened, and stared right into mine, and the tune slowed down and his voice was gentle and everything was perfect as he sung the next verse.
And if you feel the fading of the light
And you're too weak to carry on the fight
And all your friends that you count on have disappeared
I'll be here not gone, forever holding on
Then the music slowed to a stop, and I pretty much jumped out of my seat and ran into his arms as he made his way off the stage and the room was full of clapping and whistling and cheering. He picked me up and swung me around, burying his face in my hair.
"Did you like it?" he whispered as he put me down, eyes glowing with happiness.
"Of course I did." I whispered, staring up at him.
"Well, how was that!" the singer of the band came back on stage, removing the chair. "American songs are quite soul-touching, aren't they? C'mon, buddy, give her a kiss!"
"We're not dating." He replied, and the whole room gasped and was filled with whispers.
"Well, whatever the two of you are, it's something special."
"It is," I nodded, standing on my tippy toes and gently touching my lips to his, savouring the sweet moment. I placed my hand on his cheek and he held it there, moving his lips slowly against mine as the room cheered and clapped for the two of us. I pulled away, smiling up at the man above me, and I felt my mask totally crumble to the ground at his next words.
"I love you."
Clint had told me he loved me before, that time on the jet, but it was nothing as powerful and meaningful as tonight. The words echoed through my head and I felt my mouth hang open, and his eyes began to fill with worry as I stepped back from him, slipping my hand away from his face. Before I knew it, I turned and rushed out of the bar, grabbing my bag on the way, before exiting.
I don't know why I was reacting like this. Maybe it was because I had never felt so special to anyone in my life? But whatever the reason, it left me frightened and speechless. Frightened because I was afraid of getting hurt, heartbroken even, and speechless because I did not know how to reply to him. Was I in love? Did I love Clint Barton, the man who gave me a second chance at life, the man who saved me and turned me from evil to good? The man who had risked his own job so bring me in, the man who was controlled by a sex drug and kissed me once, the man who loved me? The man who cared? I felt lightheaded, this whole day has impacted on me a lot. Being able to have fun, being so close with this man, being sung a song that was dedicated to me, being told someone loved me. It was such a dramatic change from the neglect and torture I suffered in the Black Widow program, to suddenly being cared about.
I heard the bar door open behind me and a warm, hesitant hand was placed on my shoulder and I was gently turned around.
"Nat?" I couldn't look at him. The guilt I felt for reacting so badly in front of him after what he had done for me was so heavy on my shoulders that I felt like I was going to faint.
"Clint I-I'm so sorry," I cried, falling into his arms and sobbing into his black shirt. He hugged me close, cradling me in his strong arms which I loved so much. He whispered things like 'it's okay' and 'I'm here' but it didn't make things any better. Eventually I pulled away, staring at him in the eye.
"Thankyou." I whispered, and I wasn't sure he heard me, but when he nodded in response I knew he had. I could see in his eyes the disappointment and sadness that had come when I rushed out of the room after he declared his love, and I felt so painfully guilty that I wanted to jump in front of a moving car.
"We should get going now. Don't want to miss our jet." He said bluntly, wiping the tear stains off my face before taking my hand stiffly and walking us home to get our stuff.
On the ride home, I laid curled up in a ball in my bed the whole time, to cowardly to move and face Clint, but I knew it would come.
As if to answer my thoughts, I heard my door click open. I knew he was being loud on purpose so I wouldn't attack him out of surprise. Silently he walked over to the bed, sneaking in under the covers beside me and scooping me in his arms. I turned so I was facing him, curled into his body, grateful for his comfort although I did not deserve it.
"When you told me you loved me, I was just so overwhelmed. You know I was raised to believe that love is for children and it was a fairytale. But when you said it, my view on love changed, and I realised it could exist, and everything in my mind shifted. The whole world shifted! And now that I have had time to think about it, I have come to a conclusion." I whispered against his chest. I don't know why I whispered, I just felt as if it would break the moment, slice it open. So I kept my voice low.
"And what's that." He whispered back, stroking my hair gently.
"Well, I love you too, Clint…" I nearly choked on my words as they slipped from my mouth, and I heard his breathing falter for a second before it went back to normal.
"Are you sure?"
"Positive." And it was true. I knew I loved this man, and after being able to tell him, the incident at the bar that happened hours ago seemed silly.
"So…what are we going to do?" he almost seemed hesitant to ask.
"I don't know. We'll be normal, like we usually are, you know what I mean? We don't have to change just because we declared our love for each other." I said, smiling and looking up at him. He returned the smile, and sat up, taking me with him.
"I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable tonight. I just thought the time was right and-" I slammed my lips onto his before he could continue, not wanting to hear his apology because there was no need for it. I shifted positions, swinging my leg over him so I was straddling his waist. I pushed him down, slamming his head onto the pillow and re-connected our lips eagerly. I opened my mouth, inviting his tongue to explore it, and our tastes mingled as his hands ran up and down my waist.
This moment was completely different from the first time we kissed. This time, it was me biting down into his neck and ruining the flesh. I ripped his shirt off of his body and kissed all the exposing skin I could find on his glorious chest, causing him to moan and yank my own shirt off to he could get some skin-to-skin contact. He was warm against my stomach and felt like satin, and I let out a small squeal as he flipped us over so he was now on top, grinding his hard centre into my own and causing us to both moan with want.
Clint's hands ran down my stomach, tickling me as we kissed, and his fingers were just on the waistband of my pants before there was a rumbling sound and his phone vibrated in his pocket. We both let out a growl as he pushed himself off of me, gasping for air before taking his phone out of his pocket and answering it.
"Coulsen," he greeted with hidden rage. Coulsen always seemed to interrupt the best moments. I listened as Clint spoke about how the mission went and such, and he nodded and said many "Mhm's" and "Yeah's" as Coulsen talked, before snapping the phone shut.
"Fucking asshole," he growled, looking at me with such adoration that I felt myself blush.
Fucking asshole.
The song in this chapter is called 'I wont let you go' by James Morrison, its a really sweet song and very beautiful and meaningful.
I re-read the chapter after work and didn't know how many mistakes a person could make! Aha, I edited it, but if anyone spots a few more, let me know please :o)
Review!
