A/N: I finally finished the chapter! Yay! I just got so distracted by other fics, and... yeah. I hope you enjoy! :)
Chapter Eight: A Final Goodbye
It took a further three days for them to organise all the funerals. All the funerals for the knights who had fallen at Camlann, culminating in the funeral of Sir Gwaine. They farewelled him in the same way they had farewelled Elyan, setting his body adrift in a flaming boat over the lake, the court watching him go. Everyone now knew that Gwaine had lost his life to Morgana, and had prevented her from finding Arthur and being able to kill him- they knew he had died a most noble death.
Throughout the funeral, Merlin had his eyes on Percival. The knight was silent, and he hadn't stopped watching Gwaine the entire time. He knew Percival had been there when Gwaine had died, and he knew how baring witness to a friend's death could affect you. He could only hope that Percival would be okay. He knew that it would take time for him to grieve and to heal. Merlin knew he should've asked Percival whether he was okay, but he had been far too preoccupied, what with his and Arthur's plans for repealing the magic ban, their trip to Ealdor to see Merlin's mother, and Merlin's own grieving over Gwaine. He'd have to make sure someone kept an eye on Percival while he was gone.
Merlin and Arthur had planned on leaving for Ealdor in two days, once they had things fully organised. It would just be the two of them; they didn't need any knights to protect them, and both men thought that they needed to spend time together without any threats hanging over their heads. They could talk properly, and hopefully rediscover the ease and comfort of their relationship. Merlin didn't think they'd entirely lost it, but after the events of the past days he needed to make sure it was still intact.
As Merlin lay in bed the night before he and Arthur were due to leave, he could hear a voice yelling in his head. "Merlin…" it said. "Merlin!" Merlin recognised the voice instantly. He'd heard this very voice in his head at night when he'd first arrived in Camelot. It was the Great Dragon. It was Kilgharrah.
Merlin knew that Kilgharrah was no fickle being. He knew that the dragon would not call to him unless it was urgent, or unless he wanted something. Merlin knew that he only had one option, then, and that was to go to the dragon and see what he wanted.
Swinging his legs out of bed, Merlin crept out of his room and was relieved to find that Gaius was sound asleep and snoring. Silently praying that Gaius wouldn't wake up before he returned, Merlin left their chambers and headed through the castle. He was careful to avoid the guards, because even though he was sure Arthur would ensure Merlin didn't get into trouble with anyone, he didn't want anyone to ask any questions he couldn't answer yet.
Getting an idea, Merlin muttered a spell under his breath and felt the air shimmer around him. There. Now even if the guards looked at him, none of them would actually be able to see him. Like the healing magic he'd used on Arthur, this was a spell Merlin had never managed to cast previously, but since his experiences in the Crystal Cave he knew that it was now possible.
As soon as he was out of the city and out of the view of the guards, Merlin removed the invisibility spell he'd placed upon himself. He continued walking away from the city, towards a clearing he knew would have enough room for Kilgharrah to land- or, in fact, he may have already landed in.
Sure enough, when Merlin approached the clearing, he found that the latter was true and that Kilgharrah was already there and waiting for him. The Great Dragon looked fatigued, tireder than Merlin had ever seen him. Merlin wondered whether their flight to Avalon had taken more out of the dragon than he'd realised. Indeed, Kilgharrah's wings were drooping, and he struggled to hold his head up off the ground.
"Young warlock," Kilgharrah said when Merlin had grown close enough. "I knew you would come."
"You helped me save Arthur," said Merlin. "Without you, we never would've gotten to Avalon in time. I will always be grateful for that. And I couldn't refuse a request from you." He studied the dragon curiously. "Is there a reason you called me here?"
Kilgharrah inclined his hand. "My time in this world, my time amongst the living, is coming to an end," he said. "I can feel my body weakening and my strength fading. I fear I have very little time left."
"No-" Merlin began to protest, but the dragon cut him off.
"I have lived a great number of years, Merlin," the dragon said, far kinder than Merlin had ever heard him before. "I have lived a long life. And I have lived long enough that I have seen you become the great and powerful warlock I knew you would be. The one that was prophesised since the dawn of time. I can die happily, knowing that fact."
Merlin bowed his head, tears filling his eyes. The possibility of Kilgharrah's death had never crossed his mind; he'd always thought of the dragon as a constant, a creature that would always be there for him no matter what. He'd always relied on Kilgharrah's help and advice. He could even think about a world without the dragon in it. The grief that filled him was something he'd never anticipated.
The dragon seemed to realise this, because the next thing out of his mouth was, "I will never forget you, young warlock. And I am very proud of the man you have become."
"I would not be the man I am today without you," said Merlin, his voice thick with tears. "Thank you, for everything you have done- for me, for Arthur, for Albion. I will miss you, old friend."
"And I you. Merlin, before I am gone, there is something I must ask you to do for me," said Kilgharrah. Merlin looked up again, curious. The only time Kilgharrah had ever asked him to do something for him was when he'd asked Merlin to set him free from his underground prison. "I need you to find Aithusa. She will be filled with grief upon the death of the witch. Her experiences with Morgana stunted her growth and twisted her mind; she works with the witch because she was the only one to show her kindness in the darkest of times. But you are the last Dragonlord, Merlin, and upon my death Aithusa will be the last dragon. It is possible to save her, Merlin, and heal her mind and her heart, but only you can do it. Only you can save Aithusa from the darkness."
"I'll try, Kilgharrah," Merlin promised. "I don't think I can go on living, knowing that Aithusa is as twisted as she is, and not do something to save her. I feel I have failed her. If I had known earlier-"
"There is no way you could've known," Kilgharrah interrupted. "None. And your first duty has always been to Arthur Pendragon. But your soul and Aithusa's are connected. That is why you feel you cannot go on without helping her. Now that you know about it, her being in pain hurts you."
"I'll help her as soon as I get a chance," said Merlin.
"Thank you, Merlin," said the dragon, spreading his wings out. "Now I must leave you."
"Will I ever see you again?" Merlin asked, his voice quiet.
"I fear not, young warlock," said Kilgharrah, his voiced laced with a sadness Merlin had never heard from him. "I can feel my strength leaving me, even now. I feel that I only have days left. But I will never forget you. The story we have been a part of, even the pages that have yet to be written, will live long in the minds of men."
"I will never forget you, either," Merlin promised, his voice heavy with tears. "I just have one final request. Can we fly together, one more time?"
"I already told you, I am not a horse, Merlin!" Kilgharrah exclaimed, and Merlin couldn't help but laugh. Kilgharrah may have already said that to Merlin in recent times, but it still made Merlin smile even when he didn't want to.
"I know," said Merlin. "You are so much more powerful and terrifying than a mere horse. And like I already told you, you could eat them for breakfast. Just think of it as our… thank you to each other, I guess."
Kilgharrah sighed, and Merlin thought he saw the great beast smile. "Very well. Climb on, Merlin."
Merlin strode over to the dragon, resting his hand on Kilgharrah's side before hoisting himself up. He couldn't help but feel this great sense of sadness and impending grief as he sat upon the dragon's back, and they flew over Camelot. He felt the same rush and swooping feeling in his stomach as he had when he had first flown with the dragon, but this time it was tempered by his growing sorrow. He knew this would be the last time he flew with Kilgharrah, and if he didn't manage to save Aithusa, it could very well be the last time he ever flew with a dragon.
The flight was over all too quickly for Merlin's liking, and soon they were landing back in the same field they had taken off from. Merlin sat on Kilgharrah's back for a while, motionless, before his legs began to get stiff and sore and he had no choice but to get down. "Kilgharrah…" he began to say, but he had to stop when his voice caught in his throat. He just couldn't say goodbye. It was just too hard. He'd just saved Arthur's life, and now he was about to lose Kilgharrah? It just wasn't fair.
"Remember what you promised me," said Kilgharrah. "You must save Aithusa. Only you, the last Dragonlord, can do it."
"Surely you've got more time," Merlin insisted. "Surely we've got more time."
"I'm sorry, Merlin." Kilgharrah spread his wings, but before he took off he had one more thing to say. "Just know this: everything you deserve is coming to you."
"What does that mean?" Merlin asked, but the dragon did not answer. Instead he took off into the air, not looking back at Merlin as he flew away. Merlin called after him, but Kilgharrah said nothing. Instead he roared, his way of saying goodbye to the warlock who had done so much for Albion and who he was proud to call a friend.
"Goodbye, Kilgharrah," Merlin whispered, staring at the sky for a long while before turning and heading back to Camelot.
It was nearly daylight by the time Merlin arrived back in the chambers he shared with Gaius. He was silent and sullen, so much so that he didn't even notice that Gaius was awake and staring at him until the elderly man spoke. "Merlin?" he said. "Where have you been?"
"Hm?" said Merlin, his mind elsewhere. "I was just walking. I needed to clear my head. And say goodbye to an old friend."
"What do you mean?" Gaius asked, concerned.
"Kilgharrah called for me, last night," Merlin explained. "Gaius, he… he called for me so he could say goodbye."
"Oh, my boy…" Gaius stepped towards Merlin, pulling him into an embrace. As Gaius held him close Merlin could feel the tears brimming in his eyes again, but this time he let them fall. Even though he knew Kilgharrah wasn't dead yet Merlin cried for his friend, for the dragon that had infuriated him at times but had helped him with so much. His soul-brother. As a Dragonlord- the only Dragonlord- the fact that one of the only dragons left in Albion was close to death tore at Merlin's heart. He felt like he was about to lose a part of himself.
When Merlin felt like he was out of tears, he pulled away from Gaius and said, "Kilgharrah had one final request for me. He… he wants me to save Aithusa."
"What are you going to do?" Gaius asked.
"I have to do it, don't I?" said Merlin. "Not just for him, but for me. She's the last dragon, and I'm the last Dragonlord. It's my duty, Gaius. I have to at least try to save her. It'll haunt me forever if I don't." Merlin looked at Gaius. "You don't think I should do it, do you?"
"Merlin, I'd be surprised if you didn't try to rescue Aithusa," said Gaius. "It's in your nature to save people. And as you said, you are the last Dragonlord. I know you need to do this."
"Why do I feel like you have something more to say?" said Merlin.
Gaius chuckled. "I just want you to be careful, Merlin," he said. "Especially when people find out about who you are. We can't lose you now, not when there's still work to do to really bring magic back to this kingdom."
"I'll be careful," Merlin promised with a slight smile. "I've got other things to do first, anyway. Like going to Ealdor and seeing mother."
"She'll be very happy to see you, Merlin," said Gaius. "She's missed you."
"I know. I've missed her too," said Merlin. "It's been far, far too long since I last saw her. And no doubt word would've gotten to Ealdor about Camlann, and mother would've guessed that I was there. She needs to know that I'm okay." A thought hit him suddenly, and he spoke again. "Did you know that when Cenred was defeated, Arthur made sure to claim Ealdor as part of Camelot's new land? He said he did it so he'd be able to help if anything happened again."
"I'm not surprised he did," said Gaius. "I know he hated the fact that he couldn't send in the army when Ealdor was raided by bandits. And he does care about you, Merlin."
"Hmm. I am surprised he didn't tell me, though."
"Arthur has never been one to voice his emotions," Gaius pointed out. "Nor has he been one to openly show his gratitude towards you, either."
Merlin chuckled. "No, no he has not."
As if he knew he was being talked about, there was a knock on the door and Arthur appeared, looking around hesitantly. "Merlin? Get a move on, I want to leave soon."
"Yes, Arthur." Merlin, as a result of his escapades during the night, was already fully dressed, and already had a full pack of provisions ready for their trip sitting by the door. "I'm ready."
"Good. I've got two horses saddled and ready to go. They're waiting for us outside," Arthur said. Arthur was in full armour, just in case they ran into any Saxons on their journey, and his sword was hanging on his hip. He looked the very picture of calm, as if this was a journey like the ones the two of them always took. Both Arthur and Merlin knew, though, that this was no ordinary trip. They were still the greatest of friends and Arthur had forgiven Merlin, but there was something different between them now. It would take a little while to get their friendship back to the way it was.
"Merlin? Is something wrong?" Arthur asked. Merlin was distracted, his mind still on the dying Kilgharrah and what he had asked Merlin to do. Pulling himself back to the here and now, Merlin shook his head.
"I'm okay," he said. "Just thinking. Let's go, then." With a small glance back at Gaius, Merlin left the room. Arthur looked back at Gaius, the question on his face. Gaius merely shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head after Merlin. Arthur sighed; he didn't think he'd ever understand that man.
Merlin appeared in the doorway. "Well, are you coming? I thought you were the one who wanted to leave, sire."
"You can't tell me what to do, Merlin," said Arthur, but he still strode from the room, Merlin trailing behind him. Both men had a feeling that, on this trip, they'd learn more about each other than they'd ever imagined.
