Here is chapter 8. I give my thanks to everyone who has reviewed, and I wish I could personally respond to my two anonymous reviewers, but since I can't, just know that I appreciate them.

I hope no one minded Lloyd being OOC, at least, I think he was. I know it was pointed out in a review, though said reviewer didn't mind it. I have no idea how to portray Lloyd in this, and it doesn't help that I haven't played in forever. I hope this won't bother anyone too badly.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia.


Chapter 8- Blame

Lloyd stomped down the stairs, muttering to himself, "Dammit, dammit, dammit…" the entire time. Sheena, after hearing this, walked over to him once his feet were planted onto the first floor.

"What happened?" She asked cautiously, knowing it couldn't have been anything good.

"Dammit, I didn't do anything!" Lloyd yelled, eyes ablaze in frustration, "I got too nervous to do anything! And I don't know why the hell it happened!"

Sheena shrugged, "It's because that's one of your best friends tried to take their own life. And… and you don't know how to help them."

"Yeah." Lloyd agreed, running a gloved hand through his hair.

"I feel the same why." Sheena added, nodding empathetically at Lloyd. "I don't know what to do, and everything that I try seems to make the situation even worse than it is."

"That's why I left. He wasn't really answering me. Well, he was answering, but-."

"He was mostly avoiding the question." Sheena finished, receiving a nod from Lloyd.

Sheena sighed and looked out the window, watching for a moment as the snow fell, the sky beginning to become darker. What did Zelos have against the harmless white flakes? Was he stranded outside in a snowstorm for a long time or something? Did he almost freeze to death? What happened in his past that had to do with the snow? What happened to make Zelos how he is today?

"I'm going to talk to him." She said, confidently.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Lloyd offered.

Sheena shook her head, "No, I'll try talking to him by myself for right now. Just make yourself comfortable, I'm not leaving his room until I find out something." Her eyes held a determination that Lloyd couldn't help but grin at.


"Zelos, I'm coming in," Sheena said, not waiting for an answer from the man.

Opening the door, she found the red head standing in front of the window, gazing out at the lightly falling flakes. He didn't even acknowledge her as she walked across the room to stand next to him.

When she was beside him, she looked at face and he looked almost serene, peaceful. Were her suspicions wrong? Did he not hate the snow?

"Zelos?" Sheena said, tilting her head in confusion.

He turned his head, allowing Sheena to look into his empty eyes. Perhaps it was because of the lack of light in his room, but his blue-gray orbs also looked clouded.

"What are you doing?" Sheena asked, clearly surprised by his behavior.

Shrugging, he answered, "Nothing my hunny. Just watching the snow." Though he was using his joking around tone, the usual grin or smirk was missing from his face.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Depends. Are you expecting me to answer?" Zelos challenged.

"Yes," Sheena replied confidently, "I do."

"What is it?"

"Why do you hate the snow?"

Zelos couldn't quite recover from the split second shock he felt. You could clearly see the pain etched into his face, if only for a moment, before he put on his mask once more.

"What makes you think I hate it?" He asked, trying his hardest to sound as if it was an innocent question.

"Zelos, please stop dancing around my questions." She asked exasperatedly.

"Well, I do know one way you could get me to answer…" The grin finally emerged onto his face.

"Zelos!" Sheena yelled, losing control of her barely composed patience.

"Whoa, calm down, my wonderful banshee." Zelos pleaded, holding his hands up to prove he wasn't going to do anything.

Sheena rolled her eyes at this, but then her eyes traveled along his arms, gasping as she noticed something. Zelos, it seemed, was able to tell what she was seeing, because he immediately brought his arms down to hide them from her observant eyes.

"Let me see your arm." Sheena said, in a commanding, though eerily calm voice, one she had heard Zelos use a couple times before.

"Sheena, don't." Zelos begged in a small voice.

Not giving into his request, she gently, though firmly, grabbed his left arm and examined it. Even though the moonlight was the only source of light in the room, she could see the faint line of a cut. One that hadn't been there the last she checked.

"When did you do this?" She asked, looking up into his now guilt-ridden, remorseful eyes.

Shrugging, he estimated, "Five minutes ago?" His voice was small, and, Sheena detected, apologetic, but not entirely regretful.

"I knew I shouldn't have left you alone for long," That statement was said in a one half serious, the other jokingly, tone, though she meant to be absolutely serious. "Why Zelos?" She asked in a desperate whisper.

Sheena knew she should be questioning him about how he marred his skin with yet another cut, so then she could confinscate the sharp tool, but she needed to know this more. She waited patiently for him to say this, hopefully truthful, answer.

"I honestly don't know, Sheena." He was looking her straight in the eye, and she couldn't deny that he was telling the truth, "I just… I felt like I needed to. I don't really know why, but…" He trailed off, causing Sheena to frown.

No matter how much she wanted to deny it, Sheena could understand his need, or, at least, she could imagine why simply felt the need to cut himself once again. He was just so used to coping with whatever he was feeling with this method. Apparently, he felt something he couldn't deal with and so, he dealt with it the only way he knew how.

At least, that's how she rationalized the need he felt in her head.

"What did you do it with?"

"Sheena,"

"Where is whatever you used to do that," She pointed to his arm, "with, Zelos?"

She turned away from him and was about to start searching, until she was stopped by his shocking bribe.

"I'll tell you why I hate the snow."

Sheena's eyes widened, a gasp escaping from her throat. Turning her head, she looked at Zelos, who, all of the sudden, became fixated with a spot on the floor.

"Did you say… what I think you said?" She received a nod, "And will you tell me the truth?" She emphasized the last word. He nodded again, though Sheena could tell it was with some amount of reluctance.

She was torn between hearing his story, to finally find out what the cause of his internal suffering was, and finding his new sharp object. She knew she should search now, and have him talk about it later, but her curiosity won out in the end.

"Okay Zelos, tell me. Tell me everything."

He sat down on his bed, motioning for Sheena to do the same. He was still staring at the floor, his eyes being shadowed by his long hair.

He inhaled a deep breathe before beginning his story, "I guess I should just out and say it, huh? My mother was killed while it was snowing." So blunt, so dejected, so sorrowful, there were a million emotions in his voice, some even Sheena couldn't name. She knew it had to be something bad, but that!

It was true, she had no idea about how the death of Mylene Wilder had occurred, and she knew that shouldn't try and pry the answer out of Zelos, though, she hadjust done that, and she knew that her death must have wounded Zelos in some way, but she didn't imagine his pain over her death to be anything like this.

"You said she killed, didn't you?" Sheena asked tentatively, knowing she was most likely bringing up something Zelos would rather forget.

"Yep, right in front of me." She flinched at the bitterness in his voice.

"That's horrible Zelos." She wanted to say hundreds of other things to him besides that, but nothing else would come out of her mouth.

"Well my hunny, it gets worse. She died protecting me."

Sheena was at a lost. What could she say? What sympathy could she offer? Could anything she say really affect him, in a good or bad way?

"You blame yourself, don't you?" She was almost certain of it, though she had to hear a confirmation from Zelos to be absolutely positive.

"How could I not, Sheena?" He asked, agitatedly. "It's my fault that she died, no one else is to blame but me."

"That's a lie, Zelos!" She yelled, making the ex-chosen jump slightly, "It's not your fault! The person you should blame is the person that killed your mother, not yourself."

"But it was my fault!" Zelos yelled.

"No it wasn't!" Sheena said back.

"Sheena, can you really try to convince me of this? Can you, out of anybody, try and convince me that her death wasn't my fault, when you still blame yourself for-."

"Zelos, it's not the same thing!" Sheena screamed, taken aback by his words.

"Yes it is. You blamed yourself for what Volt did, so isn't it a little hypocritical of you to be telling me this?!" Zelos was panting after yelling, though he was unaware of Sheena's bowed head, and her slightly quivering shoulders.

Sheena looked up at Zelos, glaring murderously, making him flinch.

"Think whatever you want, Zelos. I don't know why I even tried." Her eyes softened, looking brighter with unshed tears, "I just wish… I wish you knew it wasn't your fault."

Getting to her feet, she walked to his door. Turning around to look at him once again, she walked out of his room, lightly shutting the door behind her, barely managing to choke back a sob.


Don't worry, Sheena won't abandon Zelos, she just needs to blow off some steam. Expect to see more of Lloyd next chapter, since he needs to do damage control.

Oh, and I thought about ending the chapter at "Tell me everything", but I figured that would be too evil of me.

Please review.