A/N I would like to apologize to one reader of the original story on the contest page, who felt she had no choice but to review anonymously. It was not my intention to make fun or degrade those from the UAE. The actual story I referenced is one I saw on an HBO documentary. However, my knowledge of Abu Dhabi and the UAE is non-existent. Please be aware, this story is purely fiction and is not meant to offend anyone.
DISCLAIMER: Twilight and its inclusive material is copyright to Stephenie Meyer. Original creation, including but not limited to plot and characters, is copyright to the respective authors of each story. No copyright infringement is intended.
BELLA'S POV
I'd been back in California for a month before I could even begin to concentrate on work again. I was only a shell of my former self. My experience in the Middle East, combined with this horrible secret I was holding, was literally driving me insane.
Jasper had been so loving and caring, it was literally breaking my heart how I've deceived him. There were times Jasper would try to talk to me, and I would just shut down, staring at my hands in my lap, not saying a word.
Once I felt confident enough to go back to work, I couldn't fly back to New York. I couldn't let myself think about New York. But I still thought about him. I couldn't even say his name without a whole opening up in my chest. I called my bosses and asked if there was a way I could edit here in California. Heidi immediately had the film uploaded digitally and forwarded the footage to me.
I asked her since I wouldn't be back in New York for a while if she had any recommendations for a therapist here in LA. I told her I was still having nightmares and not sleeping well. She suggested maybe wasn't the right time to go over that footage.
"I appreciate that Heidi, but I want to get this taken care of. I feel it's a story that needs to be told, and I would like to see it aired,"
"Bella, I'll send it out, but if it becomes too much for you, I want you to stop. I don't need you getting burnt out on me already. We love your work, so if we have to hire an editor, we can do that," Heidi told me. It was all bullshit. I could quickly get past that, what was hard for me to get past was him. But I couldn't tell this to Heidi.
Heidi called me back with a name Dr. Denali recommended. He was a good friend and specialized in PTSD. His name was Garrett and had been in several wars. He was a psychiatrist that worked with soldiers coming back from war. I called and made an appointment. His receptionist said he had an opening today.
Jasper, who had put up with all my bullshit, decided he needed to get away and go to the office for a while. I didn't want to disturb him, so I just left him a note as to where I was going.
HBO had space available in Studio City for filming and editing. Whenever I was working, I didn't like to be disturbed, so I turned off my cell.
I was getting a lot done. It helped me take my mind off things for a while. While some of the images brought up some bad memories, I pushed past it. I was so caught up in my work, I didn't even notice the time. If I didn't leave soon, I would miss my appointment with Garrett. Luckily he was close by.
When I pulled up to his address, it was a Hacienda style home. A beautiful blonde woman answered the door.
"Hi, I'm Bella. Am I in the right place?" I asked.
"Yes, of course, Bella. I set the appointment for you. I'm Kate. I'm one of Garrett's wives. Won't you please come in?" the beautiful blonde said to me. I was a little taken aback.
"One of his wives? Exactly how many wives does Garrett have?" I asked with a chuckle.
"Three, me and my two sister wives, who incidentally are my sisters," She told me as if it were the most common thing in the world.
"Is that legal, I mean for someone to be married to more than one person?" I asked.
"Well legally, I'm the only one married to Garrett. Tanya and Irina only share a commitment with Garrett and me.
"Are you Mormons?" I asked, feel stupid for getting into their personal business. But, hell, she brought it up. Kate only giggled.
"No, Bella we are not Polygamist. But we do live a Polyamorous lifestyle. It actually helped save our marriage. I didn't know such a thing was possible. Just as I was pondering over what I'd heard so far, a door opened, and a man with a prosthetic leg came out and left.
"Garrett can see you know, Bella," another beautiful blonde woman, that looked an awful lot like the first woman, but much younger, came out and escorted me into a room, I assumed was Garrett's office. She was probably only 18 or 19.
"Garrett will be right with you. Would you like anything to drink? Coffee, tea, water?" The woman asked.
"No thank you, I'm good. Um, are you one of Garrett…" I trailed off.
"Wives? Yes, I'm Tanya. I understand Garrett was recommended by my Father," She told me.
"Dr. Denali is your Father?" Why this piece of information shocked me, I have no idea. Just then a door opened, and a very tall man with shoulder-length brown hair and a scruffy salt and pepper beard walked in. He looked older, but not a bad looking guy by any means. He had a kind smile. He walked over to Tanya and gave her a chaste kiss.
"Thank you, Tanya. Did you offer Miss Swan something to drink?
"Of course, Daddy," Tanya said with a giggle. Garrett pulled her to his chest and whispered in her ear. I felt like I was a voyeur into something I shouldn't be witnessing. Garrett's whisper wasn't exactly quiet.
"Kitten, I told you not to call me that during working hours," He then kissed her on her temple
"Sorry, I forgot," Tanya blushed and lowered her eyes. Garrett lifted her chin so she could look at him.
"It's okay, but please try to remember, okay?" it was sort of sweet in a kinky kind of way. It was then I noticed what Tanya was wearing. She had on a little tiny skirt, with a white blouse tied just above the waistband, knee socks, and platform high-top sneakers. She reminded me of Harley Quinn. I just shook my head. I watched Garrett as he watched Tanya leave. He was biting his fist as she bounced out the door
"Forgive me, Miss Swan. Tanya is my newest wife, and she doesn't quite have our routine down yet. It is a pleasure to meet you, I am a great fan your documentary films," He told me.
"Thank you, Garrett, but please, call me Bella," I told him taking a seat on the sofa. Garrett sat in an armchair across from me.
"Tell me, Bella, what brings you in to see me today," Garrett reached for a notebook that sat on a side table next to his chair.
"Um Garrett before we get started, can I ask you something?" I wasn't quite sure how to ask without looking foolish.
"Go right ahead," Garrett took off his glasses placed them down on the table along with his pad and pencil.
"What the difference in Polygamy and Poly…amorous? I asked.
"The word you are looking for is Polyamory. Sort answer. Polygamy is religious-based, patriarchal, perceived and represented as cultish, and sometimes involve teen girls who are married to an older man who has more than one wife. Generally, these women are not free to have sexual relationships with others, but consider themselves family with the other wives of their husband," Garrett explained. I opened my mouth to say something, but he held up his hand.
"Please let me finish, Polyamory is usually not related to a religion and is unrelated to marriage, although some polyamorous people are married or have participated in commitment ceremonies with their partners. Polyamory means having multiple loving relationships, usually, but not always sexual. While Tanya has committed to this relationship, we have not yet taken it to a sexual level. And I do love Tanya and her sisters very much. But I don't think that is why you, are here today," Garrett said as he now picked up his glasses, pad, and pencil. I must have had a confused look on my face because Garrett paused what he was doing and cocked his head to the side.
"Or is it?" He finally said. I blew out a breath.
"I guess I should start from the beginning," I told him.
I begin to tell him how I met and fell in love with Jasper, though, leaving out names for the moment. He said he saw that documentary by the way.
I went on to explain how after we became engaged I went overseas and that was the original reason I was here. I was having problems coping with what I'd witnessed. How initially those images haunted my dreams. I went on to tell him, how coming home, it was one of those dreams that found me in my current state of dilemma.
I told him about my affair with the kind doctor, that seemed to know the right thing to do and say when I needed it most. I told him of the feelings I'd developed for this doctor and his for me and his offer, one I told him I was engaged, to 'share' me.
"And he used that specific word?" Garrett asked
"Yes," I confirmed.
"And you agreed?"
"Yes" I confirmed again, but this time I hung my head and my blush from embarrassment warmed my cheeks.
"Bella, let me tell you, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. The heart is a strange organ. It's small in size, not only does it sustain life, but it is vast in its ability to hold and grow love," he told me with his kind smile.
"I ended it," I said with tears now in my eyes.
"Why?"
"Because! I later found out, he is my fiance's father. And I didn't want to lose my fiance'. But now, I feel like I have this hole in my chest. I feel so guilty for deceiving Jasper and leading Carlisle on. But I love him; I love them both so much. I don't know how to make it stop," I was balling my eyes out now. The next thing I know, Garrett is beside me wrapping me in his arms. He placed a box of tissues on my lap.
"There, there," he said as he tried to hush me, but let me cry until I was all cried out. Once I was, he then handed me a bottle of water. I took the tissues and dried my tears and blew my nose.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to unload on you like that," I told him.
"And why not? It's what I get paid good money for," We both laughed at his joke.
"But little bird, I have to remove myself from your sessions for two reasons. First, and let me preface by saying this. I have taken an oath. There is such thing as Doctor/patient confidentiality. And since no crime has been committed, I am forbidden to discuss anything from our sessions to anyone else. I explained that because I'm afraid I know your fiance', personally. So you see we have a conflict of interest," My heart dropped into my stomach. I hadn't meant to reveal their names; in my rant, it must have slipped out.
"Don't worry little bird; he will never know from me what we've discussed. Secondly, I am not a relationship expert. However, my wife Irina is. But, I will ask you this. Have you ever thought about doing a documentary on the Poly lifestyle?" He asked.
"I can honestly tell you no, haven't because, until today, I didn't even know there was such a thing," I told him.
"I want to call Irina in so you can speak with her," He went over to his desk and pressed a button on his phone.
"Katie, is Irina with a client?" He asked the one I met when I first got here.
"No Gar, but she will have one in about 20 minutes," Kate said over the intercom.
"Would you ask her if she could come to my office for about 15 minutes?" He asked.
"Sure, I'll buzz her right now," Kate told him
"So you all live love and work, right here in your home?" I asked him.
"Well, Tanya is still in college. She wants to help with the practice. She's only been a part of our family for two months. She wants to feel like she's contributing in some way. In the afternoon, she acts as the receptionist, though she hasn't really gotten the phone system down yet," he laughed. The third wife entered the office then. Or maybe I should say the first wife. Irina was closer to his age, but then Kate said she and Garrett were legally married. AYE YAI YAI, I was so confused!
"Bella Swan, meet my wife, Irina Denali-Harrison, Ph.D. Irina let me give you the cliff notes version of Bella's problem.
"She's been involved with a man she is now engaged to marry, indicated here was JW. She met a man recently indicated here as C. She had an affair with C, without telling him she was engaged after she told him, of her engagement, he made her an offer to share her with JW; which she accepted. Turns out C, is JW's adoptive father. Sorry dear, I told you I know him personally," he said looking up at me. "She professes to love them both but is have a guilt complex because she feels she's betrayed them. And until she met us didn't know Polyandry existed."
"Um, I don't know that word," I told them.
"Bella, Polyandry is when a woman has a loving relationship with two men. It doesn't have to be a sexual relationship, nor do the men have to be gay or Bi and sexually involved with each other. As long as all three parties involved are committed to each other, that's all that matters. The first thing you need to do is ask yourself. Are you willing to commit yourself to both of them? Then you need to come clean to them both," She advised me.
"Well C already knows," I told them.
"Sweetheart, I'm going to step out. I've already heard too much. I am withdrawing from the case because I have personal knowledge of one of the parties. You, however, have never met either. Bella, it was indeed a pleasure to meet you. I do hope you can work this out. I would so love to have you and your future partners a part of our community," Garrett told me before kissing Irina on the cheek and walking out of the room.
"Bella, unfortunately, I have another client coming in soon, so can you briefly tell me how C knows?" Irina asked me.
"It was also how I found out as well; he came to visit his son. J had never told me much about his family, and C and I hadn't known each other long enough to get as far as introductions to the family. Once I found out, I broke off the relationship with C," I told Irina. She made notes in the notebook.
"Well as I said, you need to think about what you want, and you need to tell them how you feel. Bella, our time is up, but I'd like to see you again if you want to explore this further," She told me.
"Thank you, Irina. Let me think about it. Can I call when I'm ready for another session?
"Of course. Here's my card. And sweetie. If you need a friend. Give me a call. I hate that you are going through this alone," She told me and gave me a warm hug.
"I'd like that Irina, I actually don't have any friends here," I confided in her.
"OH, NO, NO, NO dear, that won't do. From now on you can consider my sisters and me your friends. Call us, and we can have lunch," Irina told me as she escorted me to the door. We were met on the way by Tanya and Kate, who each hugged me before I left.
I went back to Studio City to do some more work. But work was the furthest thing from my mind. I started thinking about everything I'd learned today. Before I knew it, I was pulling up everything I could find on Polygamy, Polyamory, and Polyandry. I got so caught up; I didn't realize what time it was until my stomach growled from lack of food. I also realized that with the knowledge I'd gained, the hole that was in my heart started to close, as I realized it was indeed possible to have both of these men in my life.
But what if Jasper wouldn't go for it? The hole started to tear open again. I realized then; I wanted them both in my life.
I gathered my things and made my drive home. I stopped at a food truck and got tacos for both Jasper and me. Once I reached the house, there were no lights on, which was odd. When I pulled into the garage, I saw Jasper's truck. Maybe he was asleep, but he usually would keep a light on if I was out late. Once I entered the kitchen, with only the view from a light over the range, was I able to make my way in without stumbling.
Once I got to the living room, the light from a lamp startled me, as it flashed on. I clutched my chest, dropping our food in the process, as my heart raced 1000 miles an hour.
"Where the fuck have you been Isabella?"
A/N Okay, I know technically, Irina can't be Bella's friend as her therapist, but let's face it, the girl needs somebody to talk to. And I have a feeling, that would be right about now!
