Chapter 7: fresh start?
He settled at Wiztech permanently, never returning home anymore. Their parents had suspected that something was wrong between the two of them, but they brushed the questions away and ran far away.
His room was small, sporting all his trophies and his action figures, with his clothes and robes in a small closet, and his books in the bigger one. He kept the room minimal, changed the color of his curtains to white, and started wearing spectacles, sporting a light stubble on his chin.
He could change his physical appearance. But his mind was still with her- there was not a thing he could change about his pain…
He didn't get it- any of it. Sometimes he wondered why the hell he fell in love with her after 17 freaking years of his life. Wouldn't it have been better if they just stayed in their platonic relationship instead of going downhill like this? And why wouldn't she even let him speak if she really loved him? Didn't his feelings have any value anymore?
He knew he had messed up big time and he couldn't fix it this time. He had given up trying to make her understand, yet somewhere deep inside his heart, in some secret corner, there was still a tinge of hope left, that someday everything would be alright, someday they'd be together again…
He knew he'd love her forever, which meant he'd probably have to spend his life all alone, but the mere sense of belonging to her somehow gave him the strength. Sighing, he turned the pages of his magical journal and started writing.
"Dear Alex…
I know I can't do this in person, but people say there exists some soul to soul connection, and if it's true, I hope you can hear me…It's so strange, how time changes relationships. I know you'd laugh at me for this, but I always liked a popular dialogue in movies- 'all relationships do not have a name'. I guess no one knows that better than us, huh? It's so strange how we suddenly fell in love, stayed in love, and then became foes. I know you hate me now, but you're just misunderstanding me. Please trust me. Close your eyes and ask yourself- do you think I would hurt you? You've got it wrong, I never cheated on you... And you don't hate me either. I know you don't. You say that you hate me, but your eyes say something else… We have a deep bond, and I can feel that you miss me as well. And if we are both true from our hearts, who the heck is going to stop us from being together? We're the victim of circumstances, Alex. It's circumstances that has drifted us apart and I am sure that our destiny will bring us together again, someday…"
Florida. The sunshine state… It was a really nice place, more beautiful than she had imagined it to be, more amazing than it looked in the pictures and movies. She had bought a small house on the beach, with just one bed-room, a living room and dining space, kitchen, and one bathroom, but that just made maintenance easier, and she could be as lazy as she wanted to be. During her free time, she sat on her balcony and just stared at the calm, blue sea in front of her. Which was a bad idea; because it stirred memories of a certain vacation with a certain someone that she wanted to forget so bad.
She wasn't the greatest sun-worshipper around, and the Florida heat and humidity was annoying her so much that she had abandoned all her beloved colorful clothes and switched to simple, light-colored, cotton clothes. She actually liked the change- it made her feel like she was different person, like she wasn't Alex. (Like she wasn't in love with him.)
And then, there was the risk of lighting and hurricanes. She had just scoffed and brushed it off, not paying any attention to her parents' concerned advice. But her neighbors gave her serious warnings, and she finally sat down to make a list of things she'd need in case they were ever asked to evacuate. Making lists was just not her thing, and it just made her think of that one person she did not want to think about…
"Gosh! All my thoughts just lead to him. Ugh!" she groaned, mumbling to herself. She didn't get it- any of it. He loved Juliet, yet, why? Why did she still love him? Why did her heart still long to be his? Why did she want to lose all her friends and family for someone she would never have? Why was life always making things difficult for them, tearing them apart, bringing them closer, and then separating them again? Why? Why? WHY?
3 years, 2 months before the present
Alex sighed, turning off the television and drooping on the couch, her head titled back, eyes closed. She never liked thunderstorms, and being alone in a new home in a new state on a new moon night wasn't making it any better. She hugged her knees closer to her chest, rested her head on top of them, and closed her eyes. Back in her teenage days, she used to hop around her house during storms, tormenting everyone and scaring Justin to death…. Justin… Justin…
"Justin…" she whispered in a shaky voice, her words almost inaudible and muffled by the harsh sound of raindrops. She bit her lips, allowing the tears to form on the corner of her eyes. Since she was alone, there was no reason for pretending. She could just cry it out and scream his name in pain. She sobbed, her body shaking with it. "Justin…."
"Time is going by, so much faster than I; I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you…"
Her phone ringed with the Nickel back song, and she answered it without even looking at the screen, assuming it was her parents. "Hello?" she mumbled half-heartedly.
"Alex…Hey… it's me…. Justin…."
Her heart did a leap in her chest, her breath hitched, and she jumped up in her couch, feeling goose bumps rise on her arms. She was too shocked to even react. Justin had called her up after three years? Was this actually happening or was she dreaming again? "J-Justin?"
"Hey." He began nervously. "Look, I know you didn't want to talk to me anymore, and I'm sorry I called, but I…" he paused, trying to phrase his words properly, and waiting to see her reaction, to see if she hanged up or yelled at him.
"Yeah?" she asked, curious.
He took in a deep breath. "I was feeling… weird. Like… like you were in trouble or pain… it's kind of hard to explain it… it's that feeling you get in your heart when you know something is wrong, you know?"
"Yeah…" was all she could say, as she wondered how in the world Justin understood she was feeling lonely- Was their bond still this strong?
"Are you okay?" he asked anxiously. "I mean, I know it sounds silly but…"
"There's a storm on." She acknowledged suddenly, and paused, wondering what made her answer his question. Perhaps it was the concern laced in his voice? The honesty in his words? "I'm just watching out for Hurricane alert."
"Oh! Be careful. Do you have all the things you may need?" he asked in a concerned and worried voice. "Do you need something? I'm sure I can drop by some things from Wiztech."
Wiztech.
The rewind button on her memories was hit by that word, and the hourglass was turned upside down. A surge of anger shot through her body as she heard that scornful word and was reminded of all the pain and betrayal that she had to endure. Her nostrils flared, eyes glazed with tears, hands tightened around the cell phone, almost trying to grind it into pieces. Unsure what to do or say, she simply hung up on him.
"Alex?... Alex?..." he asked impatiently on the other end. "Alex, are you okay?" he panicked, heart beating rapidly in his adrenalin rush, convinced that something horrible has happened and cut off their communication, and dreading the thoughts running through his mind.
"Oh Alex…" he whispered, blinking back his tears- this wasn't the time to break down. Grabbing his wand and his portal key, he quickly went on his way.
Alex stared at the television screen blankly, not paying any attention to it at all, the thunder sounds not making her cringe anymore- Justin's words echoing through her ears was the only thing she could hear.
"I was feeling… weird. Like… like you were in trouble or pain… it's kind of hard to explain it… it's that feeling you get in your heart when you know something is wrong, you know?"
Did he still have feelings for her? But that wasn't possible! He was with Juliet.
Alex groaned at the name, throwing the pillow she was clutching to the floor.
"Alex!" she jumped, startled to hear Justin's voice from behind her, and turned around to see him standing there. There was some sparkle of magic in his eyes, something that seemed to hypnotize her and hold her gaze. She had to force herself to look away. At that moment, with Justin in the same room as her, her apartment seemed smaller and hotter than ever, tension hanging in the air between them. She felt so empty, yet so… happy? Was she happy to see him again?
"How did you find where I was? What are you doing here?" she demanded, placing her hands on her hips in a defensive gesture. Her eyes were fixed on his face, and a volt of electricity ran through her spine. Standing in front of her, just a few feet away from her, was the person she knew better than herself. He looked so grown, so changed, so different, yet, there was that teenage boy feeling as he fidgeted with his fingers fretfully. Something started tugging at her heart strings. Was she about to break down?
He ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I'm sorry… I… I was just worried that something happened to you, okay?"
"Why do you even care about me?" she yelled, shaking her head, unable to understand his behavior." Why do you still care about me, Justin?"
"Because I love you…." He whispered, voice starting to get emotional. "I love you, Alex. I-"
"-No, you don't!" she yelled, cutting him off. "You are dating Juliet!"
"I broke up with her the day you broke off with me." he stated.
She eyed him suspiciously, not believing him. "Why?" she asked incredulously, as she took two steps closer to him. It was like her legs were being drawn to him, as was her entire being. As cliché as it may sound, she felt like he was a magnet, pulling her iron-strong heart towards himself.
"Because you're the one for me." he pleaded, looking at her, pleading with his eyes. He rubbed his forehead, and eyes. "Look, I know you don't wanna talk about this, and I didn't come here to brother you, I swear… but we do need to-"
"-Why did you cheat on me then?" she demanded, cutting him off again.
He stuttered at the sudden arrow she shot in his direction, and stumbled back. "I… I wasn't cheating… I was just…. Confused….Scared." He admitted, feeling like a weight was being lifted off his shoulders after years. They never talked properly when they broke off, and he hadn't even got a chance to explain himself. "It's like… I was feeling guilty because I was violating you… I didn't want to hurt you Alex. You're my little sister…. what we had-have is wrong, no matter how right it felt... and Juliet was so happy… I couldn't break her heart…. I was stuck. I didn't know what to do. Honest."
She stared at him, taking it all in, tears welling up in her eyes as she was caught off-guard. "And now? Are you confused now, Justin? What do you wanna do now?"
Justin thought for a moment, and moved closer to her. "Do you want to give me another try? Please? Please, Alex?" he pleaded, taking her hand in his with much hesitation, but it was enough to make her fly on clouds.
She shook her head, trying to stop herself from saying yes. "Why should I?" she asked, noticing how close they were at that moment, and how it stirred the old emotions and tingles. She always knew she was never able to move on- she just never acknowledged it. But right at that moment, looking at his eyes, the denial wall was knocked down with one sudden blow, and she knew she was still as much in love with him as she used to be. Yes, she still loved him. He wrapped his arms around her, staring at her intensely. Being in his arms after so many years, she felt safe, protected…. loved. Gosh, she had missed this feeling! She had tried so hard to stay away from him, tried so hard to hate him, but he just stood in front of her and it was all useless! It was useless. She didn't want to fight this feeling anymore, no.
Her eyes drifted shut slowly, as he slowly leant down towards her face, but as soon as their lips touched, something sparked and something bolted, and their hands were all over each other, their movements faster than a hurricane. The feeling was just the same as it used to be when they were teens- only more intense- much more intense.
She knew she wanted him, and Alex gets what she wants. So she was going to cross that one line that night, make sure that she was his, and that he wasn't going to leave her ever again. She knew that what she had today might not be there tomorrow, so she was going to listen to her heart as usual and live in the moment.
No thinking about consequences. No backing out now. No more lying. No more pretending. No more missing each other.. No more staying alone… she was going to give their relationship a fresh start.
*My knowledge about Florida is from research in websites. So forgive me if I went wrong there.
(A/N: did you like this chapter? In the next chapter, you'll finally know what happened to Justin. So please review and send me feedbacks! Pretty please! Reviewing doesn't kill anyone, I promise :P)
