Retrieval Saga
A Can Full of Clones
Chapter 8: Bonnie & Clyde
The day after the incident involving Victoria and Viral Manners, we find our heroes at Lilo's house where they were…
Draco: Wait a minute!
Chip: Hold the chapter!
(entire story screeches to a halt)
Me: What do you want, I'm starting the chapter.
Draco: Well, actually, we were hoping on doing the narrating ourselves.
Me: You?
Draco: Why not? It's mostly going to be focused on us so it won't change it much.
Me: I don't know…
Draco and Chip: Pleeeease?
Me: Alright, but try not to blow it out of proportion settles back to watch
Draco: Ladies, gentlemen, this chapter will now be done in our perspective. This chapter is a mystery involving me as the typical San Francisco private eye. (puts on trench coat and fedora)
Chip: And I as the traditional British sleuth. (puts on overcoat and deerstalker)
Draco: But seems to be missing, what could it be? (snaps fingers) Sepia tone!
Chip: Oh, Monochrome. (black and white teddy-like experiment appears) Can you do us a favor and give this story a good old black-and-white coloring? (experiment nods and waves his arms, causing everything to become black and white)
DRACO: It was an unusually cold day in Kauai. There was fog rolling off the bay that was rather pretty but somewhat out of place. Being the cold-blooded type, I was in my office with my partner, Chip. We were doing a small time detective agency. And by small time, I meant just for today. Chip was a pretty good detective, has a real knack for logic. Me, I follow my gut. We balance each other out well. The only other two people around were Morph and Contrinus. Contrinus was our girl Friday and secretary as well as my girl. Morph was the note boy, not very good at it, but as long as he's not in the way. But right now, there wasn't anything for him to get in the way of. We were just lying about doing nothing.
CHIP: At 12:13, the telephone suddenly rang. I picked it up and said, "Draco & Chip, Private Investigators, how may we be of assistance?" "We need ya help with something." I furrowed my eyebrow as I recognized the voice, "Bonnie, is that you?" "Yeah, it's me, so what of it?" "Well, from the Caller ID I'm getting, it looks like you're calling from the county jail. I presume this is your one phone call?" "Yeah, it is, but this time we're really innocent. Someone pulled off a job at the bank and the cameras said we did it. But we didn't do it, I swear. You know we're turning over a new leaf, but nobody will believe us. Can you help us, for your cousins?" As it turned out, I did know of Bonnie and Clyde's attempt of rehabilitation. They're currently in E.A.R.W.A.X. and were trying to channel their criminal knowledge and talents for more productive purposes. I believe they intended to take over the detective business as soon as Draco and I were done. "I'm not saying we're taking the case yet, but we're going to head down to the bank to see if this is worth investigating."
DRACO: It didn't take long for me, Chip, and Morph to get down to the scene of the crime. There were several policemen there scouting the area, looking for clues apparently. As Chip pulled the dune buggy over, I recognized someone there. It was Matt Lynch, a good friend and teammate of mine, but he's a bit of a loose cannon with an even looser screw. We walked over to him and I said, "What's the word, Matt?" "Huh? Why are you guys… Oh yeah, you're doing that detective thing today." "We've just received a phone call from Bonnie telling us she and Clyde have been framed for something." "Yes," said Matt, "the bank's been robbed. Not a cent left in it. Whoever did it cleaned it out good." "What proof do you have that Bonnie and Clyde might have done it?" asked Chip, "Other than their previous record." "They appear on the camera," said Matt, "I managed to talk them into giving me a copy of it. Policeman-to-policeman thing." "I thought you were a mercenary," I said. "With the NSC, it's pretty much the same thing."
CHIP: Matthew pressed a couple of buttons on his wrist-computer until a holographic screen appeared. It showed the inside of the bank, and judging from the clock in the upper-right corner, it was nighttime. The doors to the bank opened and what looked like Bonnie and Clyde went through. They didn't waste anytime with going over to the safe and vaults, disarming the alarms, and grabbing all the cash and valuables. Once their bags were filled, they high-tailed it out of there. Then the video stopped. "Morph," I said, "did you write anything down?" We looked to see Morph was apparently attempting to grab a couple of donuts that the policemen were eating, with not that great success. "Didn't think so, fortunately I have a photographic memory. Now, I find it odd that Bonnie and Clyde would not show more finesse in entering the building. Also, they didn't care about being spotted on the camera. As a matter of fact, neither of them left the view of the camera for a second. This is definitely not their style. Have you considered the possibility that they are actually the Viral Clones counterparts?" "Yes," said Matthew, "but it's in black-and-white, so we can't tell if their eyes are red or not. Besides, according to the imperial files you hacked, V-149 and V-150 were built to only commit robberies when directed by someone, otherwise, they'd be too hard to control." "I see, well, there are a couple of people around who have the ability and motive to direct them in such a manner. We'll check them out while you try to find more evidence." Suddenly there was a small disturbance and Morph ran by at a very fast pace with a policeman chasing after him. "Apparently the little bugger got a hold on someone's coffee," said Matt.
DRACO: After chasing Morph until the caffeine wore off, which took an hour; we headed for the first suspect on the list for possible masterminds behind Viral Bonnie and Clyde. Ex-Captain Gantu used to be the Commander for the Galactic Armada, but has fallen very far since then. We weren't sure if he had connections to Emperor Hamsterviel or not, but it was worth looking just in case. We arrived at the crashed ship where he was living and knocked on the door. A few seconds later, a crabby giant with feet like an elephant and a face like a shark answered the door. "What do you trogs want?" growled Gantu. "We're investigating for anyone possibly connected to the robbery at the bank," said Chip, "Have you had any contact with the Viral Clones of Bonnie and Clyde?" "I don't know what you're talking about and I couldn't have been involved anyways. No experiment would listen to what I would have to say and I haven't fallen hard enough to resort to thievery. Now go away!" He slammed the door on our noses, literally in Morph's case. "I have a gut feeling he's telling the truth," I said, "what do you think Morph?" Morph had just pulled his nose out and it had swollen to a large size, "Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha." The next few minutes were spent with me trying chasing Morph with a large stick.
CHIP: Our next two suspects were fortunately in the same place. Thanks to Morph's ability to turn into Finder, we were able to track them to a slightly darker side of town. The trail led us to a bar called 'The Shark Bite'. "I've heard of this place," said Draco, "this is supposed to be where the toughest guys around come to lurk." "I thought it was just a bait shop," said Morph. "If it is, then you're the worm." The three of us stepped inside and almost immediately wished we had Matt or Chris with us. There was a large menagerie of thugs, goons, and assorted miscreants. They all gave us a suspicious glare that had Morph quivering like a bowl of jelly. "Don't worry," Draco said, "just show a little backbone." "But I don't have a backbone." I ignored the two of them and walked over to the barkeeper. I showed him the picture of the two we were looking for and he pointed towards a dark door. The three of us walked through and found ourselves in a small room. We immediately spotted the first of the two people we were seeking. Her name was Angela Chloe, general of the Imperial Army, but her true name was Chloe Lynch, Matt's brainwashed sister. She was currently in her human form to not arouse suspicion, but her outfit didn't prevent attraction. She was wearing a close-fitting black dress with purple sequins as well as a diamond necklace and earrings: the very picture of a femme fatale. Very soon afterwards, we saw Suspect #3. NegaMorph literally stepped out of the shadows, grabbed Draco by the neck, and started, as Draco would say 'pounding him into last week'.
DRACO: After NegaMorph stopped pounding me into last week, Chip addressed Silvia, "Ms. Silvia, we have reason to suspect that you were involved with the bank robbery last night." "What made you say that?" she asked, studying her nails. "You have a known history with Viral Clones, which are suspected to be involved, and you seem to be dressed rather new and expensive-looking clothing and jewelry." The tips of her nails crackled slightly with electricity as she said, "There happened to be a sale at the department store which I paid for with my paycheck. Here's the receipt if you don't believe me." I studied the receipt and said, "Yes, this is legitimate, but your partner could have easily been involved with the robbery." "I would do nothing of the kind!" snapped NegaMorph with the air of an offended rattlesnake, "You know I would never stoop to petty thievery. Besides, I wouldn't bother having Viral Clones do it, I'd just assimilate them." "In that case, why did you go after me like a hammering machine?" I said. "Because you're stealing my look." I looked down at my trench coat and said, "Oh, right."
CHIP: Unfortunately, that was the end of our suspect list. So we decided to mull over the case at the local ice cream parlor. We both walked in and sat on the stools. "Three sundaes, please," I said. "Coming right up," said a familiar voice. We all looked to see Nosy in his disguise preparing our sundaes. "Nosy? What are you doing here?" asked Draco. "Are you kidding?" said Nosy, "these kind of places are loaded with gossip and rumors. So what you guys down?" "We've trying to clear Bonnie and Clyde's name from the bank robbery, but we can't find anyone who might be directing their Viral Clones." "Viral Clones, eh? You know, I've heard from a reliable source that a couple of clones are acting for themselves. They're not responding to Empire's command, prefer to cause trouble for everyone. Maybe they're the ones behind the bank robbery." "That would make sense," I said, "We've already had a few clones behave oddly. They could either be working for those renegades or actually one of them. And seeing how unprofessionally the Bonnie and Clyde in the video were acting, I think they were just trying to get their originals out of the way. That means they'll mostly try something again. We have to intercept them in the act, and I think I know how to do that."
DRACO: Shortly afterwards, the trap was in place. Me and Chip were waiting in the bushes while Morph hid in 'The Island's Largest Piggy Bank'. "You sure about this?" asked Chip, "It seems a bit cliché." "If I know anything about Bonnie and Clyde, they'd never be able to resist this," I said. "But still…" My sharp ears picked up the sound of something coming so I slapped a hand over Chip's mouth. "Someone's coming," I whispered. Like flies to a compost heap, we saw what looked like Bonnie and Clyde coming. Seeing how they were currently rattling tin cups and playing harmonicas in their cell, these had to be their viral counterparts. "Check this out," said V-Bonnie, "Da biggest piggy bank on the island." "Da boss will be real happy when he sees this," said V-Clyde. The two of them picked it up and carried it over to a jeep they apparently stole. As soon as they were gone, I pressed a button on a device I was holding. A map of Kauai popped up, with Morph's tracer as a flashing spot. "And this little piggy went wee-wee-wee, all the way home."
CHIP: We tailed the two criminals to their hideout: an abandoned tree house that barely looked habitable. The two Viral Clones grabbed the piggy bank and climbed up the ladder nailed into the tree and into the tree house. We had followed close behind all the time. "Let's get a closer look," said Draco. I nodded and extended by eye until I can see through the window. Draco used his sharp hearing to pick up what they were saying and telepathically send it to my brain. V-Bonnie and V-Clyde weren't the only clones in the tree house. There was a third one speaking with a Southern accent and wearing a boater straw hat. "Nice haul you pulled in there," he said, "you must have swept the town's fortunes clean by now." "Slick's Viral Clone," muttered Draco, "should have known." "It was easy pickings," said V-Bonnie, "those dopes barely knew we took it." "And they still think it's our goody-goody counterparts," said V-Clyde. "That's fine work there, and when we sell them their stuff back, we'll be really rich. Now let's see what's in this old piggy bank." V-Slick picked up a hammer and whacked the top of the piggy bank. It shattered, revealing Morph who said, "Sorry, overdrawn." "What in tarnation?" "Just like that piggy bank; you three are busted." The Viral Clones turned around at my words to see me and Draco enter the tree house. "And what do you intend to do?" said Viral Slick. Draco grinned and whacked his tail repeatedly on the floor. Very soon, the floor underneath the Viral Clones cracked and they fell down to the ground where they hit their heads and got knocked out. Fortunately, the fragile valuables weren't on that part of the floor. "Sorry, but your stock market just crashed," said Draco. We gave him an odd look and he said, "What? You guys got to make bank jokes."
DRACO: Everything went smoothly after that. The Viral Clones were booked, Bonnie and Clyde were set free, and all the stolen stuff was returned to their rightful owners. For our help in solving this caper, we were each paid 100 dollars. After things got all settled down, we went back to the office to chill out. It was so nice to curl up in a comfortable chair with an arm around your girl.
CHIP: "Well guys," I said, "now that we've solved a case, we don't need to keep this detective business up anymore." "Maybe Bonnie and Clyde would want it," said Contrinus. "Good idea," said Draco, "we can tell them tomorrow. I'm pretty sure they've had their fill of being behind bars. Say, you wanna go out flying?" "Sure." Draco and Contrinus left the room. Morph stayed for a little bit but then went off to get something to eat. As for me, there was nothing more to do than to sit back, relax, and play my violin.
Well, that was an interesting chapter. The next chapter will be told the normal way, but it'll focus on another set of characters. By the way, Monochrome is Experiment 126, designed to suck the color out of everything, making it look like a 60's TV show and he's also owned by Xelku9 on deviantART. Keep an eye out for the next chapter and please review.
