Matou Shinji and the Broken Chains

A Harry Potter / Fate Stay Night Story

Disclaimer: Though I wish it were otherwise, I do not own or in any way, shape or form hold a legal or moral claim to elements of either the Nasuverse, the Potterverse, or other works I may reference in the course of this story.

Summary: It is a time of seeming peace, as the British Ministry prepares to host the Quidditch World Cup - the greatest sporting event in the Wizarding World. But unbeknownst to them, a grand army of Giants and Werewolves is gathering in Eastern Europe, under the leadership of the vicious Fenrir Greyback, their sole objective - revenge. In the East, Matou Shinji and his comrades have arrived at the hidden bastion of Mahoutokoro to hone their skills, given that they are likely to become Champions of the two Tournaments this year – the Triwizard and the Potions. And if their struggle against the Acromantulae has shown them anything, it is that only through power can they gain victory - and only through victory can their chains be broken.


Chapter 8. You Can (Not) Advance

Matou Shinji blinked as he emerged from the shimmering surface of a portal, the air crisp and cool on his skin as he emerging onto one of Mahoutokoro's portal platforms, noting that due to time differences, the sun had not yet even begun to rise.

'I'm home,' he thought idly, taking a moment to watch the colors of the sky change as dawn drew near, reds and purples and oranges taking the place of star-studded darkness. Then, he shook his head, a wistful smile stealing across his lips as he realized what he'd just thought. 'Though I suppose for me, there is some truth to it. This is home now, after all.'

The only home he had in Japan, at least – and the first place where he had been truly welcomed, no matter where he might end up after Hogwarts.

To this day, he remembered the first time he came to Mahoutokoro quite well. He'd stepped through the Weeping Cherry Tree onto the ledge overlooking the city, learning that something this majestic, something this grand, existed for the first time. He'd marveled at the beasts in the city, the free use of prana, the mystery about everything.

And when he'd touched the Great Tree's roots, something had looked into him – through him, at what he had been, and what he might one day be, weighing the totality of who and what he was – and finding him worthy of something for the first time in his life.

That he wasn't a failure. A mistake.

That he had a future.

Even now, it was impossible for him to say how profoundly that realization had touched him – much as it was impossible to say just how deeply Luna's acceptance of him, despite everything he'd told her, despite knowing that so much of his actions were built on what he considered a lie, had affected him.

Certainly, her acceptance ranked up there with Sokaris offering him a place at Atlas, and Touko making him her provisional apprentice, each meaning that no matter what he did, he had some place to go – someplace to return.

"I trust your time with Miss Lovegood was useful, Master?"

Zelkova's voice broke him from his reverie, as the kodama – in his form as a youth –strode into view, ascending the steps of the platform slowly. "The flow of prana within you certainly seems more stable."

"…yes, it was indeed," Shinji said, a hint of color blossoming on his cheeks as he recalled how pleasant it had been – and how only moments before, he'd been kissing her goodbye. The way she'd looked at him, the way she believed in him and saw him as a better person than he saw himself, had surprised him. With her help, he'd managed to put himself back together. To embrace the role of a Matou Shinji who was not a disgrace to the name of Makiri and carried around the stigma of past failures, but one who looked to the future and was true to those he cared about. "It was certainly...not unpleasant."

That was an understatement, if anything, but then Matou Shinji didn't really feel like trying to describe the totality of what had happened with words, as he had a feeling he would do a poor job indeed.

"No doubt your current state of dress is a testament to this," the youth remarked, noting that his Master was clad in only a pāreu tied into a skirt, with a flower tucked behind his left ear, and his wand behind his right.

"Ah…" Shinji said as he looked down, becoming conscious of what he was wearing. On the island, he'd gotten used to wearing just a pāreu, given that he'd had little else, and on that last morning, he'd been a little too distracted by Luna to remember to change back into more western clothing. "Yes, I suppose it is."

There was an uncomfortable pause, as the young practitioner of witchcraft realized that while clothing traditions might have been somewhat more relaxed in Tahiti, Japanese culture was not quite as permissive about such.

"…you don't mind if I take this opportunity to practice fusion, do you?" he asked after a moment, recalling that in fusion form, he gained rather dignified robes. "It has been a while after all."

Especially since the kodama had remained behind at Mahoutokoro, working with the Maiden of the Tree on a project of hers. Zelkova merely raised an eyebrow at his Master's request, his golden eyes seeming almost amused.

"Master," the youth said reproachfully. "While I understand that humans have certain taboos concerning inappropriate or inadequate clothing, surely it would be more practical to send me to your quarters for a change of clothing than to attempt fusion?" The kodama turned to reveal a pack he had been carrying. "As it happens, however, I anticipated such an eventuality might arise during your absence, so I prepared accordingly."

"…thanks," Shinji grunted, taking the pack from his familiar and opening it to see that there was in fact a full change of clothing. "I do appreciate it."

Hoping no one would be able to look up and see him, the boy efficiently pulled on his undergarments, pants, and shirt, using the pāreu to preserve his modesty – something he hadn't thought much about over the last week.

He needn't have worried – there was little air traffic this early in the morning, and none close enough to catch a glimpse of him, but humans tended to worry about things they could not control, especially if it might affect their social standing.

"And how have you been, Zelkova?" he asked when he was suitably attired for walking about Mahoutokoro. "Has Matsuo-san been treating you well?"

The boy didn't really expect any less of the Maiden of the Tree, especially since she had been considerate enough to gate him onto a portal platform and not into the center of the city, but it never hurt to ask.

"She has," the kodama replied, inclining his head. "My time with her has been most…enlightening, given that the Maiden is possessed of a wisdom and experience I did not imagine possible in one of your sort. But in a way, she is as much youkai asshe is human after so many years."

"Huh, is that so?" the Matou boy inquired as he folded up the pāreu and tucked it under his arm. "What exactly have you been up to with her?"

"Training," Zelkova said quietly. "I am possessed of the basic knowledge of one of my kind, but for all that, I lack the experience to focus in the face of…utter destruction, as I am first and foremost a spirit of life. The incident with the Acromantulae…"

"…yeah, I'm sorry about that. I asked too much of you."

"It's not your fault, Master," the kodama noted. "I did not then know the limits of my capacity."

"…I don't think either of us did," Shinji reflected wryly. "Luna seems to know her own abilities well, but…"

"The reach of most humans does tend to exceed their grasp," Zelkova observed. "Even you fall victim to this, as skilled as you are."

"I'm learning, like the rest of us. I still don't…observe the patterns of reality enough, I think you put it. Even so, I've made some headway on water manipulation, which I think will be useful in the future."

"Indeed," the other remarked. "Aside from its applications with regards to ofuda, until now the basis of our fused form has been our shared Earth element. However, as you gain proficiency in using water, our form will change, as wood-based abilities will become available."

"Mm, so I'll finally be able to do some of what Sajyou-san can do?"

"Not exactly, Master. Her abilities stem not from elemental manipulation, but from basic manipulation of yin and yang, allowing her to use all of the elements if she wishes," the kodama explained. "But if you mean that you will be able to use growth-related powers, then yes."

"Interesting," Shinji noted, though his smile froze as he remembered how annoying it was to face those who used fire. "I hope this means we do not gain an extra vulnerability though. I recall how much you fear fire."

"It should not be the case. I have not noticed such when fused with Miss Lovegood, at any rate."

Speaking of Luna…

"That's right, I've been meaning to ask – what is it like? Becoming one with her, that is."

Zelkova looked at his Master strangely.

"Do you not know? You have her prana within you," the spirit commented, with Shinji flushing deep red at the reminder of their nights together. "Does this not imply a union has occurred?"

"…not that kind of union," the boy growled, shaking his head. "It's just that…well, I know she's skilled with water and wind, and that in fusion with Pandora, she uses wind and fire. But what about when she's fused with you? What element do you share?"

"Ah. You may be aware that in our system, wind is an aspect of wood, representing growth and life – just as in the legends of the west, the soul is sometimes called the breath of life. In such a fusion, her water nourishes my wood, and her wind amplifies a portion of such. This is, of course, without accounting for the effects of yin and yang."

"…that sounds rather complicated."

"It is difficult to explain in words," Zelkova admitted. "With these things, the totality of the experience can only be understood through the doing."

"You know…for once I think I understand exactly what you mean."

There was another long silence, this one more comfortable than the last as the familiar digested the meaning of his Master's words and nodded appropriately.

"I see," the familiar noted after some time. "On that note, Master, Matsuo-san asked if you would be returning to your training, now that you have had a chance to focus, or if you had other responsibilities you wished to discharge first?"

While there was a part of the boy who knew he should be getting to his training, given that all of Britain – and Sokaris, moreover – was looking to him to do well in the Wizarding Schools Potions Championship, Matou Shinji shook his head. Given that it was his actions which had caused the tension between the Matou and the Einzbern to erupt into open war, he had a duty to take responsibility for some of the fallout.

"Let Matsuo-san know that I will be going to London to deal with Tohsaka first," Shinji replied, with a bow. "Depending on what she's been told, she might even think I'm dead, and we can't have that, now can we?"

"Mm."

"Will you be coming with me, Zelkova?" he asked hopefully, knowing that without his familiar or Luna present, his dreams – nightmares – would undoubtedly return.

"I'm afraid not," the kodama said apologetically. "I still have some work to do with Matsuo-san."

"Well, if she was kind enough to send me to Luna, I suppose it would only be fair of me to let her keep working with you," Shinji allowed, shaking his head. "It would probably not be a good idea to anger the Maiden, after all. Or her familiar Kaiduka."

"While I doubt they would be so easily annoyed, the basic principle is quite sound."

"…that and you've done a lot for me over the last year. The least I can do is to let you learn from someone you so clearly respect."

"Mm. For that, Master, I thank you."


Zelkova left after that, presumably returning to the Root of the Sky, with Matou Shinji descending the steps of the platform and choosing to walk to his quarters at the school instead of taking one of the warp points. It wasn't as if he didn't have time, after all, given that with the time difference between Japan and London, it was only early evening at his eventual destination, so he imagined there would be some time for him to freshen up a bit.

As he walked through the city, he noted that it was busier than usual at this time of morning, with quite a few people out and about and chattering about the Quidditch World Cup, discussing the event, the other teams involved this year, and the odds various bookkeepers were laying on certain teams advancing to the elimination round of the month-long tournament.

'I guess it really is a big deal. Even here,' Shinji thought to himself, only to stop short as he heard something about the Japanese Quidditch Team. 'Wait. We have a Quidditch team? I didn't know that.'

Then again, he'd never cared to find out, as he'd never understood the appeal of watching other people fly around on brooms, with some smacking iron balls towards others, as they tried to throw a ball through a hoop.

Though what repelled the boy most about the game was the history behind the position of Seeker and the Golden Snitch, with the tradition of a game ending when said item was caught, instead of due to something sensible like time limits, reminding him of the terrible price of human greed.

It hadn't always been like that, Lockhart had informed them, until in 1269, Barberus Bragge, head of the Wizards' Council, had released a Golden Snidget – a delicate little bird which could be crushed to death by a human grip – during the middle of a Quidditch match, offering a reward of 150 Galleons to the player who caught – and thus killed – the bird.

At the time, such a sum had been rather substantial. Indeed, it had been enough so that the lure of gold drove the players on both teams into a frenzy, with the game forgotten as each of them scrambled after the bird, grabbing at it, one after the other, until at last one player finally snatched it out of the air, the blood of the crushed bird dripping from his clenched fist and down his arm as he howled in triumph.

Bragge did this a number of times, with much the same reaction each time, with copycats emulating him as the bloody fad caught on. Slowly, it became customary to set a frightened Snidget loose during every Quidditch match, with referees giving out 150 points to the team that caught the bird in place of the original Galleon reward, since few could match Bragge's deep pockets.

For more than 300 years, the barbaric snidget-catching craze continued, with birds crushed to death in every game, until the Golden Snidget had been all but wiped from existence, forcing metal charmer Bowman Wright to devise an alternative: the Golden Snitch, which in form and function emulated the nearly-extinct bird almost perfectly.

'And they couldn't have come up with it before nearly wiping out an entire species for their cruel amusements?'

More than one person had been sickened to learn this fact, though Matou Shinji had been affected worst of all, with what mild enjoyment he might have experienced when watching Quidditch evaporating away once Lockhart covered this unsavory tidbit of sports history. The History Professor had compared it to how Muggles believed they had hunted the Diricrawl (which they knew as the dodo) to extinction, with the ICW not revealing the animal's continued existence, given they wished for Muggles to be aware of the consequences of slaying their fellow creatures indiscriminately.

"Only they don't seem to remind wizards of the consequences of slaying our fellow creatures, now do they?" the man had asked rather pointedly. "Muggles hunted dodos because they were a useful source of meat on long sea voyages. Why did we nearly wipe out the Golden Snidget? Nothing more than a savage taste for blood."

There were other reasons he disliked the sport, given the expensive brooms needed for it, the savagery of it, and the fact that he thought it was an utter waste of time.

True, Capture the Flag, which he much preferred, was perhaps even more savage from a certain point of view, but there was a point to the savagery. It honed one's abilities to think creatively, one's knowledge of dueling and strategy, and one's ability to work with a team. Best of all, it was highly accessible, as it needed no equipment other than wands – which every participant would already have due to being a practitioner of witchcraft.

Granted, it celebrated a kind of violence, at least every participant knew what they were getting into, unlike the terrified Golden Snidgets whose gory deaths Quidditch fans had once cheered with roars of approval.

Such was why he didn't bother following the news about the World Cup, who was winning, or who was even in the tournament, aside from Scotland, Wales, England, and Ireland, which all qualified for the tournament automatically since Magical Britain was the host nation.

Still, as he headed through the city towards his quarters, he couldn't avoid hearing about how disappointed people were at the poor performance of Brazil, France, India, Morocco, and the Nordic Team, given that they'd failed to qualify for the knockout tournament.

With 21 teams in the mix, instead of the usual 16, there had been a need for some whittling down, and in the round-robin matches, those five teams had not made the cut.

The first round of the tournament proper would be starting soon, and featured such matchups as Argentina vs Bulgaria, USA vs Germany, Portugal vs Ireland, Peru vs Spain, Luxembourg vs Scotland, Wales vs Uganda, England vs Transylvania, and Japan vs Australia.

Already there was some speculation about a possible Japan vs USA matchup in the quarter-finals – provided that Japan crushed Australia and the USA crushed Germany – since Japan vs USA matches, whenever they occurred, were something of a spectacle.

Had been ever since the 1940s, really, when a minor conflict called World War II had changed the balance of power.

There was some disappointment that the New Zealanders had not qualified, given that a match against them tended to be fairly exciting. As a national team, the "Broom Blacks", as they were called, eschewed a mascot, instead covering themselves in warpaint and performing a pre-game "haka" or traditional war dance, promising bloody death to those they played against.

And of course, there was discussion about the infamous incident that had occurred during the World Cup in 1809 Siberia, when Niko Nenad, Beater for the Romanian National Quidditch team, hired a band of local wizards to help him jinx the whole of the forest adjacent to the pitch prior to the tournament.

Still, nothing might have come of it, save that in the final match, featuring Romania vs New Spain (now known as Mexico), Romania had fallen behind on points, with the team utterly exhausted. Unwilling to admit defeat, Nenad had sprung his trap, sending the Bludger flying into the forest.

The effect had been instantaneous and rather murderous, with the forest coming to life, the trees wrenching their roots from the ground and marching upon the stadium, flattening everything in their path. Luckily, with over a hundred thousand wizards present, they'd managed to beat back the savage assault, despite numerous injuries and several fatalities.

Nothing of the sort had happened since, of course, since the International Confederation of Wizards' Quidditch Committee, with the help and cooperation of the various host nations, had made sure to police the grounds before and during each match. Still, certain nations, like Japan, had never sought to host the Quidditch World Cup, given the security issues involved with bringing in so many practitioners of witchcraft, the logistics involved in housing and providing for so many people, and the dangerous mascot animals – which might not play well with the native youkai.

'And I doubt Matsuo-san would like having so many strangers in the City…'

These things and more, Shinji heard on his way to his quarters, where he set down his tiare flower and pāreu, showered, and packed a small bag with clothing – as well as a few Japanese snacks from the crate in his room, given that he thought Rin might enjoy those.

With that said and done, he headed over to Touko's workshop, entering the semi-public portion of it and passing through the Vanishing Cabinet therein to London – and his manor house.


Matou Shinji stepped out of the cabinet into his study, which was just how he'd left it. This was no great surprise, as no one currently in the house had authorization to enter it, but it was still nice to see that the defenses his Master had installed were performing as promised.

'Well, given how much I paid, they'd better be working…'

The boy smiled ever so slightly as his eyes fell upon the snowglobe on his desk, one which featured Illyasviel and himself standing together with Sokaris and the two Magicians at the gala. Looking back on it, everything had seemed so right, and he was glad he'd been able to help Sion gain what she'd wanted, despite the heavy cost.

'I should probably get to know Mashu better too, since she works for the Director of Atlas as well…speaking of which, I should probably see her to see what's been happening.'

He would of course write to Sion, and update her on what had transpired in Fuyuki, using the miniature Vanishing Cabinet he'd given her, but in the meantime, her agent on the spot probably had a better finger on the pulse of the Tower than Tohsaka.

With that thought in mind, the boy exited his study and entered the house proper, descending the stairs towards the ground floor, where he thought both Mashu and Tohsaka would probably be, given the hour.

Yet when he arrived, neither Mashu nor Tohsaka were having dinner, nor were they lounging about by the fire, talking about their days.

Instead, from the landing, he thought saw an unhappy looking Mashu shaking her head as she did the dishes, with quiet sobbing coming from behind what he was sure was Tohsaka's door.

'What…happened here?' he wondered. While Shinji was tempted to just go check on the sobbing, as he didn't want to leave Tohsaka in pain, the boy knew that without more complete information, things might go badly.

With a sigh, the boy continued down the stairs and walked into the kitchen, with Mashu Kyrielite – who served as his live-in maid freezing at the sight of him, her purple eyes widening in surprise as he appeared before her. She hadn't seen him use the door, after all, or felt anyone approaching the house…

"You're back, Matou," the girl breathed, blinking as she very deliberately set down the plate in her hands and turned off the tap. "And you're alive."

Shinji sighed as his worst fears were confirmed, though he could see how they could be useful for him in the short term.

"It seems that rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated," the boy said dryly. "Though I would appreciate it if you didn't actually go spreading that around. Telling Sion is fine, but with the Einzbern apparently out to kill me…well, you understand."

"Mhm," Mashu replied shyly, glancing uneasily in the direction of Rin's room. "And Tohsaka? Did you need me to tell her, Matou-san?"

"Don't worry, I'll tell her myself," Shinji told her, given that such was the least he could do. Still, he didn't expect the girl's expression to sag in obvious relief, something which made him more than a bit concerned. "…what happened, Mashu? Talk to me."

"That might take a while," the girl said uncomfortably.

"I don't mind. This mess is kind of my fault anyway, and I know I haven't been around much, while you've seen everything, so…" He trailed off, shaking his head. "Please?"

The strawberry blonde nodded reluctantly, with her gesturing for Shinji to help her with a pot of tea and two cups as they moved over to the sitting room.

There, she informed him of the various things that had transpired.

Shinji had expected that Tohsaka might have some trouble at the Tower, given what his Master had mentioned about her own experiences with prejudice, and that her sponsor was perhaps not the most understanding of her, but he hadn't expected things to get nearly this bad.

That Tohsaka had taken to drinking heavily – that she would throw herself at anyone who approached her while drunk – surprised him, as the Tohsaka Rin he remembered – that he had idolized – had been very strong and independent. She hadn't cared what people thought of her, really, and simply was the best at whatever she put her mind to, in school or otherwise.

'Once, she was what I dreamed about, and everything I wanted. Now…?'

"Are you sure about this, Mashu?" Shinji asked, given that the picture she painted didn't match the Rin he knew at all.

"Y-yes," the girl replied, her cheeks reddening just a bit as she looked away, averting her gaze. It was clear that she didn't want to say more, making it obvious to Shinji that she had probably been the one Rin had hit on. "After the first time, I thought she would stop, but this week, it got worse."

"…why?"

"Tohsaka received a letter from Fuyuki several days ago," Mashu explained, her hands wrapped around the warm cup in her hands. "From a Kotomine Kirei."

Shinji only wished he were surprised to hear that.

"The priest who was her guardian," he said wearily. "No doubt informing her of the death of the Matou family, and the violation of her land by another party."

"Mm," Mashu confirmed. "Since then, she has not emerged from her room, except to go to the bathroom. She hasn't gone to the Tower. She hasn't eaten anything. And she won't respond to anything. Not to knocking, not to questions about if she's ok, not to food left outside her door. When I get close though, I can hear her crying, and I smell the alcohol in her room."

Shinji cringed.

That…that was significantly worse than he had feared.

"Have you tried going inside?" the boy asked, but the girl shook her head.

"No. It's not my place," Mashu said. "And…"

"You're right. It's mine," Shinji sighed. "It's mine. Thanks. I'll go see to her now."

"Mm."

Downing the rest of his peppermint tea in one gulp, the boy set the cup down and stood up, walking over to Tohsaka's room and wondering what he'd find.


Knock-knock!

Matou Shinji rapped on the door of Tohsaka's room, only to receive no response, as the sobs continued. Sure enough, as he got close enough, the pungent scent of alcohol was quite discernable, which made him more than a little concerned.

"Tohsaka…umm, Rin, open the door, please?" he asked, hoping that it would do some good. "It's me. Shinji."

The sobs stopped with a surprised hitch, and from behind the door, the boy could make out the sounds of someone scrambling to her feet.

"Tohsaka?" he repeated…and then the door opened just a hair, revealing a single blue eye, which widened as it took in the identity of the one standing before the door. Then the door opened all the way, revealing a disheveled Tohsaka wearing nothing but a lacy black bra and panties, holding a mostly empty bottle of firewhiskey in her left hand, with many more scattered around the room.

"…M…matou?" she whispered, her face pale as she looked at him, thinking she'd seen a ghost.

"Yeah. It's me," the boy replied, smiling weakly. "I'm here."

"Matou!" she cried, and then she was hugging him, her hot body clinging to him desperately as if he was the only thing in the world that mattered. "You're here," she whispered, as if she couldn't believe it. "You're…here."

"Tohsaka, I…" Shinji began, his arms wrapping around her gingerly, as if he didn't know what was safe to touch – and more to the point – what wasn't, not with so much exposed flesh.

And he could no longer speak, as her mouth was on his, her lips hungrily seeking his as if she needed reassurance that he was really there, with the bottle of firewhiskey slipping from her fingers, its contents spilling out onto the carpet. In his shock, Shinji just stood paralyzed, his mind going blank as Rin pressed herself against him, rubbing herself against him and moaning.

"How?" she whispered, in between her hot and hungry kisses, her hands slipping under his shirt to roam the skin of his back. "How can you…?" She kissed him again, pulling him back with her. "…be here?" she asked. "The priest told me…" Tohsaka murmured. "He told me…the Matou were gone…that you…that everyone was…was…"

It took everything he had, but the boy somehow mustered up the strength to push her away, with the girl letting out a cry as she stumbled backwards, landing on the bed, her hair fanning out behind her.

"Ahhh," she whispered, her body flushing red as she looked up at him, holding out her arms. "So you…want to take the lead? That's…that's fine. Ravish me, Matou. Let me know you're really here. With me."

Shinji's expression was pained, as he stared at the girl on the bed. Despite his better judgement, he walked closer to her, sitting down on the edge of her bed, carefully turning away so as not to look at her.

"Tohsaka, please…" he began, unspoken plea for her to come to her senses on the tip of his tongue, but he never had a chance to say it, as she pulled him down onto the bed with surprisingly strong arms, mounting him in one frenzied motion as she undid her bra, exposing her firm, budding breasts to his wide eyes.

"Matou," she begged, her eyes filled with utter, urgent need as she rubbed her body against his, moaning as she felt him hardening beneath her. "Please…I need you."

"Tohsaka, I…," Shinji fumbled for words as she pressed her bare chest against him, and what he was about to say died in his mouth.

"You can have me," she whispered, leaning down to kiss him, her luxuriant black hair cascading over her shoulders as she moaned, her breath coming in rough gasps. "All of me. As rough as you want. As gentle as you want. Just…touch me? Make me yours."

"No…Tohsaka, I…" He groped for words. "I...Luna," the boy whispered, his eyes regaining clarity as he fixed on the name of his lover. "I…love Luna. So, I can't…"

"That's…that's fine," the girl said quietly, her body tensing just a bit, though the frenzy in her eyes abated not at all. "You don't…you don't have to love me. Just hold me. Kiss me. Let me pretend that you do. Be here with me. Just for a bit. Make me a woman."

"Tohsaka…" he began, before shaking his head, as he flushed all over at the thoughts running through his mind. Maybe using her first name would get through to her? "Rin, I…"

"Please…" the girl begged. "Just…I don't know. Just j-j-jam it in and use me however you want. I know you want me. Matou. Please. I need you. I…"

Her hands moved down his body to unbutton his pants, but before she could pull them down, Shinji's rose to seize her wrists. In one smooth motion, he flipped both them over, pinning her down under him, with her arms over her head.

"That's enough, Tohsaka."

The girl looked up at him, her expression almost feral as she wrapped her long, slender legs about him.

"So you prefer it this way, after all, Matou? You're finally going to ravish me? I didn't imagine my first time would—"

"No," the boy said firmly, shaking his head to clear it of the vision of Tohsaka's body lying under his, so lush and warm and inviting. There had been a time when he would have sacrificed almost anything to be here, to have her desire him so, to have her writhing and moaning his name, but now… "No. We're not doing this. We can't."

Rin just stared up at him in disbelief, straining as she wriggled and teased…and he turned his face away.

"Matou…why? Don't you…want me? Don't you…?"

"No," he repeated, his voice a strangled gasp as he let go of her hands and pulled back. Tohsaka hadn't expected that of him, and so her legs couldn't keep a tight enough grip as he slipped away and rolled off the bed, stepping away from the nearly naked girl, leaving her alone on her luxurious bed. "I'm sorry," he said.

A heavy silence, awkward and pregnant with meaning, hung in the air between them.

"…it's me, isn't it," the Tohsaka heiress asked brokenly, her tone bitter as she stared up at the ceiling. "I'm not good enough. For anyone."

"Rin, please…"

"You. Mashu. Everyone at the Tower," she continued, her body beginning to tremble as the sobs began to wrack her once more. "Everyone hates me. No one likes Tohsaka Rin."

"Tohsaka, it's not that I don't like you," Shinji broke in, wanting to comfort her – yet afraid to come closer to her, that if he reached out to take her hand, she'd pull him down again. "It's…"

"I would have given you everything," she whispered, her eyes brimming with tears as she cut him off. "I just so happy to see you weren't—I thought you—I…"

"Rin, I'm happy to see you too, but…"

"Stupid!" the girl cried out, her body shaking – with Shinji not daring to touch her, for he knew where that might lead. It had been hard enough to tear himself away from her once. He didn't think he'd be able to do it again. "Stupid Shinji. Why are you even here?! You won't do anything! You won't help me! You won't kiss me. You won't even hold me!"

The boy said nothing. He didn't know what to say – how to get through to her.

"You made me feel like I was special," she spoke, perhaps to him, perhaps to no one at all. "Like I was the only one in the world that mattered. Like you cared. When Kirei…when he told me you died, I…the world broke. And then you were here and I thought, I…"

Shinji grimaced. It was true that he'd used her in a way. Had done so much for her so that someone thought well of him. In a way, they weren't that different, as they'd used each other, seeking each other's company and approval, seeking to know they were not alone in the world.

It was a frightening thing to realize that the perfect girl he'd idolized – the Tohsaka heiress who was always in control, always the best at whatever she did – didn't exist.

That she was as flawed…perhaps more flawed…that he was.

"Matou…" Rin whispered, her eyes looking at him pleadingly. "Please…say something." But he did not, just closing his eyes and resisting the urge to go to her. To comfort her. To soothe her pain, because he knew that if he did…. "Anything. Please…Matou…"

Shinji only shook his head. If he gave in…

"Look at me?" she begged, pleading for him to give her his attention. For him to give her some kind of validation, as she bared herself to him. "Please? Just look at me? Won't you…? Matou? Am I really that worthless? Matou…? Matou…?"

It wasn't long before her words broke down into incoherent slurs and sobs, as Tohsaka Rin cried herself to sleep, having been rejected by the only person in the world she thought actually gave a damn about her. Once the room was silent, with tears giving way to deep, even breaths, Shinji finally dared to look at the girl who had once looked up to.

Asleep, she was utterly helpless, her pale, nearly nude body splayed across the bed. The body she had offered to him – and which he had somehow refused.

'Loyal to the death, Luna called me. I won't let her be wrong.'

He walked over to the bed with a heavy heart and picked up a fallen blanket, covering the poor girl's form. What she needed…was something he couldn't give her. Even if he'd given in, even if he'd let her drown her pain in pleasure, all it would have done was postpone things.

'I have Sokaris as someone who I am walking towards, and Luna who I walk besides, but Tohsaka…doesn't have anyone.'

He'd need to think of something to help her, because living here, in this house, she depended on him, and it would be cruel of him to simply let her down in her hour of need.

Shaking his head, he turned to go, only to freeze as he saw that the door had been open the entire time – and that their entire confrontation had probably been heard by anyone outside.


"Why am I not surprised you were listening?" Matou Shinji said as he stepped out of the room, and closed the door behind him, turning towards the hint of strawberry blonde he'd seen out of the corner of his eye to see Mashu sitting against the wall outside Tohsaka's room, her knees drawn up to her chest.

"Because you know who I work for," came the simple reply, as the girl's purple eyes looked up at him. "I'm surprised. When you went in there, I didn't think you would be able to resist. I thought I would hear…" She trailed off, her cheeks going pink. "But you did. I have a better impression of you now. Maybe the director was right about you."

"…the Director, you say," Shinji murmured, somehow not entirely surprised that Sion had mentioned him – though gratified to hear he had not betrayed her trust unknowingly. "You know, you know a lot about me, but I don't think I know much about you."

"There's not much to know. I'm a student and researcher at the Tower."

"Who just so happens to have a connection with Atlas," Shinji remarked dryly. "And the Animusphere family. There's more to you than you let on."

"Isn't that the case for everyone?" Mashu asked, with Shinji chuckling as he held out his hand to help her to her feet.

"Maybe," the boy admitted, shaking his head. "Anyway, about Tohsaka…"

"Yes?"

"I'm not sure I like leaving so much alcohol in the house, not if she's going to drink it like this," he said quietly. "I'm going to take some of it with me as gifts for my benefactors, but…could you deal with the rest of it? I don't mean throw it in the river or something, but…for Tohsaka's sake…"

"Hm. You do care about her."

"I do. Just…maybe not in the way that she'd like," Shinji noted. "Not right now, with everything that's happened. If I did…I'd just be putting her in danger. More, I mean. She doesn't deserve that. Not because of me."

"You're a good person, senpai," Mashu said to him, though the boy shook his head.

"Some days, I think so. Others, I wonder," the boy remarked. "What does it mean to be good, after all? One can only do what one can, right?" He sighed. "Sorry, I don't mean to trouble you so much. You've already been a big help. Thank you, Mashu, for everything."

"Just doing my duty."

"I know. And I appreciate it, even if I know your loyalty is ultimately to another."


Sometime later, Aozaki Touko found herself in the train station of Mifune City, where according to Tomas, her apprentice had asked to meet her. This came as something of a surprise to the puppeteer, who didn't recall her student ever asking for help with much, mostly because he knew it would cost him. That he was changing his tune now was…curious, so she had taken a break from her investigation.

As one of her side jobs, she worked as something of a detective, after all, and there had been a series of strange – and unexplained – incidents that the police had sought help with, incidents similar to those in the mystery novels of Edogawa Ranpo and Seishi Yokomizo.

She often met interesting people during the course of her investigations, with the most amusing one this time around being a certain Kokutou Azaka, who she'd found upside down in a lake, with her legs sticking out of the water. The girl was apparently involved with the incidents to some extent, and though she had no circuits, she apparently was born with a special ability.

'A psychic, huh? One whose body produces a substantial electrical current when she enters a state of psychological arousal, with this causing something to catch fire. I don't see many of these.'

Usually she ran into mundanes, or sometimes, magi. In Mahoutokoro, the mix was different, but psychics were still a fairly rare sort.

'I've spent quite some time in the City Beneath the Earth now. And while Hijiri has been…accommodating, I think it may be time to move on soon.'

Before she got too tied down to any one place, that was. Since the day she'd left the Aozaki lands, the master puppeteer had never had a place to call home, really.

'But that is something for another time…'

At the moment, she still had an apprentice to manage, even if he spent most of his time on other disciplines. He would probably never make a great puppeteer, but that was alright. She didn't think she'd find a worthy successor anytime soon anyway.

'And at least my sister has not.'

She looked up as a crowd of people disembarked from a just-arrived train, with one of them – Matou Shinji – locating her in the crowd immediately and making his way over to her.

He looked…well, terrible, but she supposed that was to be expected for a dead man.

"Master," the boy greeted, as he came up to her, lugging a heavy case behind him.

"Matou," she replied, lighting one of her cheap Taiwanese cigarettes. "Why have you come?"

The boy sighed, and gestured to the case.

"…I brought you a gift, Master," Shinji stated with a smile. When the puppeteer just stared at him though, as if telling him not to insult her intelligence, the boy swallowed and decided to get to the point. "I need your help."

"And what help can I provide that Tomas cannot?" the redhead questioned, taking a long puff of her cigarette. "Surely he knows your arts better than you do, at this point."

"I'm certainly not going to disagree, but…"

"But, Matou?"

"He doesn't know…the British Museum like you do," Shinji managed, earning himself a sharp look from his Master. "I…you've met Tohsaka."

"One of your lovers, yes?" Touko teased. "Not the one that ran off."

"…not my lover, just an old friend," the boy explained. "She's going through a lot right now. Her sponsor doesn't much care for her, and she…well, she thinks she's alone. That no one cares about her."

"And this is my business because…?"

"Because you're my mentor, Master. Your advice and example has helped me in many ways, and I think it could help her as well," Shinji admitted, looking down. "Please. I know I'm presuming a lot, but…

"I suppose you have provided me with materials for experiments. And that it is good to see you taking responsibility for those in your life," the woman said slowly. "I am willing to do this, though you are to consider it your present for the next two years. Is this understood, Matou?"

"…yes, Master. I am grateful."

"Further, while I spend time helping her, I will be suspending your apprenticeship, given that I will not have time to train you," the Aozaki magus continued. "Not that you have been a poor student, but…"

"I understand, Master," Shinji noted quietly. "To be frank, with my instructions from the Director, I wouldn't be a very good apprentice this year anyway. So, I can agree to that."

The puppeteer looked at her apprentice, her red eyes searching him for any sign of deceit or misgivings, only to find none.

"Hmph. You've grown, Matou."

"Thanks to you, Master. And the others that have guided me along the way."