Title: Banging
Summary: Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Aaawww…Still not mine…
Archive: Not anymore.
A.N.: Well, college has sucked away my life…All of it. Now, I'm just a sleepless girl trying not to die from sleep deprivation. The cure? Writing crack. So, this is basically my mind on nothing (literally, nothing; haven't really slept or eaten much). Lots of Shakespeare, lots of Stephen Colbert and lots of insanity…I'm so sorry.
Chapter Eight
"Elphaba, what are you doing?"
"Twill vex thy soul to hear what I must speak."
"Peace, Aaron, peace. Thou speakest of nothing."
"Minerva, the internet, for the most part, can be trusted?"
I snorted. "No! Especially not the most part of it. There are areas of truth within it, but I fear most are lost."
"This Wikipedia thing, what about it?"
"Therefore I urge thy oath; for that I know an idiot holds his bauble for a god, and keeps the oath which by that god he swears. To that I'll urge him: therefore thou shalt vow by that same god, what god soe'er it be, that thou ador'st and hast in reverence, to speak not of what by tongue shall say."
"You realize that you're babbling, right?"
"Swear it by the Unnamed God…"
"I'm not religious."
"Just do it."
"I swear. You happy?"
"Extremely. Now, Wikipedia is generally right. You'd be better off with encyclopediadramatica though."
"You're a bad liar."
"I know."
A squeak of wheels.
"Faba, what are you doing?"
"The Wizards full name, it's ridiculous. Convenient, but ridiculous. One could right a story around it."
"You know, my dear Artichoke, someone did."
"Shove it, Minerva."
"No, really, say I wanted to know whose Nessa's real father was…"
"But Frex was my fath-Oh. My. God."
"…Nessarose Thropp…Roses…By any other name would smell as sweet…sweet…sugar…grainy…sand…sea sand…sea turtles…I like turtles meme…I heart turtles…turtle heart…Turtle Heart! It was Turtle Heart the Quadling!"
"Minerva, are you on drugs?"
"Nope, but I haven't slept in three days. Want me to keep going?"
It was unanimous.
"No."
"Say I wanted to know who Elphaba's father was-"
"But we know that."
"-Elphaba Thropp….Faba…Fiyeraba…Fiyero…tight ass pants…Cain Wyatt…Boy Scout Syndrome…Glitch…Ambrose…Ambroise…Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs! Your father is the Wizard!"
"Big surprise…"
"You know, that one wasn't as good."
"You try it Nessa."
"No."
"Then shut up."
-TBC-
