Title: Not So Thankful

Author: KellethMetheus

Spoilers: none except may the end of Singularity

Category: Gen/Kidfic-canon kid

Summary: Cassie's first Thanksgiving doesn't go well.

Warnings: none

Challenge: #120: Gobble, Gobble, Toil and Trouble


I sit down at the table starting at the monstrous meal on the table. There is enough food to feed my village for a week and we are expected to eat it all in one sitting. Daniel lifts the knife and begins to cut the large bird. I've never seen anything like that, it's scary. It's too big, the game birds my father brought home weren't half that size.

But there is a rich aroma coming from it and it smells so good, all of it does, but I can't help thinking of my family, the other one, the one that died.

My ma was going to have a baby, I was going to be a big sister. I was so excited I'd been the only child for so long and I was lonely. It was a cause to celebrate, when the baby came we were going to have a big party. Then everyone got sick and I was all alone with only their corpses. I waited and waited to die, because everyone else did, why didn't I die too, no one can give me a straight answer on that. It had something to do with my heart. Does that mean I have a bad heart? Am I evil?

We're all joining hands and I do so, glad to hid my tears as I bow my head like the others are doing.

Jack's talking about how thankful we should be at this time of year, but what do I have to be thankful about? Everyone I knew and loved is dead and I'm here in this strange new world without a home.

I look over at Sam, she's hiding work under the table trying to get some report or another read. She said that she loves me, but I know she won't be my mom. She can't she's too busy saving the world, to save me. They've been talking about a few families that might take me but nothing has happened yet.

My sudo home is a concrete cave in a mountain where there is no one else my age. I'm alone in a sea of adults, just like now. The food tastes like ashes in my mouth but I force myself to eat. Everyone else is happy. Jack has taken Sam's papers and he's ordered her to enjoy the day, no more work.

I watch everyone else, they laugh and talk, except for Teal'c. He sits there beside me, watching the others as I do. From the expression on his face, I know he's feeling a bit of what I am. We're both strangers here, celebrating holidays and doing things we don't understand.

He catches my gaze and grasps my hand. "Things will get easier with time, Cassandra."

Nodding, I try to control the rush of emotions but I can't stand it anymore. Pushing back my chair I run. I have no idea where, I just need to get away from here, to outrun my grief and pain.

Car horns blare as I dart out into the street and almost get hit by a car, but I don't care, I can't stop. My feet pound on the ground but I have no idea where I am or where I'm going. Behind me, I can hear someone following me but I dart into a park and make my way through the trees, weaving in and out trying to escape my past and lack of a future.

I trip on a root and tumble to the ground face first in the leafy ground. Sobbing, I pound the ground, hating myself and the fact that I lived. Why couldn't I have died with them, why did Nirrti choose me? Was I that bad of a child? I tried to do what ma asked but there were times when I hid and played in the creek instead of weeding like I should have. Then there was that other time….

"Hush Cassie." Strong arms lift me up and although I fight they don't let me go. "Cassandra, you have done nothing wrong."

Ashamed, I look down at the ground. "Even if I broke the law and I did a bad thing?"

Jack lifts my chin with his finger. "What did you do?"

My eyes fill with tears once more. "I went into the forest. I was chasing a bird, I'd never seen one like it before, it was pretty. I wanted to draw it, so I could give mother a present for the baby. I found Nirrti in the forest and she saw me. I knew I was in trouble so I ran. I never told anyone what I'd done, but the next day my father fell sick, the whole village followed. Everyone but me, I killed them."

He pulled me back into his arms. "It's harder to survive than it is to die. I know, I lost someone too. They would want you to live Cass. They loved you very much."

Jack, he's the one who followed. I'm surprised because he's been a bit distant since I've been allowed to stay. Sometimes he looks at me and I see a sadness in his eyes.

Pulling back I look up at him. "Who did you lose?"

His voice is gruff and filled with emotion. "Charlie? My little boy, he died a the day before Thanksgiving a few years ago. I still miss him."

Wiping my nose on my sleeve, I ask, "What happened? Did he die or did his mom leave you?"

Leaning back against a tree, Jack picked up a leaf and began to shred it. "Well Charlie died and then my wife left, well we left each other. There was so much pain when Charlie died, it just tore us apart, but poppet don't let that happen to you. Cassie, you have your whole life ahead of you, don't let survivor's guilt weigh you down."

I frown. "What's that?" I choose my own leaf and begin to tear it apart throwing the pieces into the wind watching them drift away.

"It's when people think it's wrong that they are alive when other people have died. It's what you're feeling now, I can't make it better but I hope this will help."

He took both my hands. "We all love you and I want you to come back with me. You are a beautiful girl with a bright future. What happened wasn't your fault. Nirrti was going to do what she did long before you went into the woods. There was nothing you could have done."

He got to his feet and tugged on my hands. "Now if we hurry back there should be some pie left, if Teal'c didn't eat it all."

I let him lead me back through the woods. "Jack?"

"Yes, Cass?"

"Will I ever have a home again? I mean other than a concrete cave?"

I hear him chuckle. "Actually I think there was something about that. Why don't we head back to my house and find out. I'm sure Colonel, that mutt has eaten his fill of your plate that hit the floor when you left."

"Sorry Jack. I'll clean it up."

He ruffled my hair. "No worries, you new mom took care of it."

We're at his porch now and I stop. "What do you mean, my new mom?"

He opens the screen door. "Why don't you go inside and find out."

Scared I walk inside only to be enveloped in a warm loving hug. It feels so good and the woman holding me smells like spices I don't know. Her two warm hands cradle my face. "Cassie, I was so worried about you. Don't ever do that to me again!"

"I won't Dr. Fraiser. I'm sorry." I try to escape her arms looking for the woman who would be my mother. I don't see anyone around and I look back at Jack who now stands in the doorway. Lifting his hand he points at Janet and my eyes go big.

"You're my new mother?"

Tears fill her eyes. "If you'll have me, Cassie. Would you like to come live with me and be my little girl?"

My throat is clogged with emotion and I can only nod. I never thought about Janet. I'm enveloped in another hug and I don't ever want to let go and for the first time today I'm thankful.


I love to write and I have written for many fandoms over the years if you like what you see take a look at my page by Googling my penname and you'll find my site with all my stories archived and easy to find. Thanks for reading and I hope you will leave a review.