Chapter 8 Desperation
Harry was finishing his lesson plan when Mione knocked at the door. Harry didn't answer,
" C'mon open up Harry it's me Hermione,". Hermione said. Harry waved his wand to let Mione in. Mione settled herself in one of Harry's chairs. " I talked to her," Hermione started. Harry stopped scribbling on his parchment, then looked at Hermione with intense eyes.
" What did she say," Harry asked. " It's actually funny, she thought we were together," she paused. Harry smiled at this, " Hah, If that were the case I'd probably would have moved on by now and would have been living the life of happiness, anyone would be lucky to have you as his wife Mione, but Its Fleur, who I want to experience life with being a married man, what we have is special Mione, but I feel I'll only be complete If its Fleur who I'll end up with. That's why I was never able to move on," Harry said while holding Mione in his arms now.
Mione hugged him, " I know Harry, I know, that's why I never did married too, I wanted to see you happy first before I could be," Hermione said with concern in her voice. " That's why I love you so much, you always looked out for me," Harry said while kissing her forehead. " We better go, we'll be late If we don't get moving," Harry pronounced. " Wow, a change from you Mr. Potter," Mione teased then walked ahead of Harry to her class.
Fleur was walking towards her class when she felt something pinch her heart. " Oh, Harry I hope its you who's stirring the feelings of my heart," Fleur muttered and wiped a tear that had rolled over her cheek.
Flash Back
" If you feel something pinching your heart, Its me telling you I love you," Harry said kissing her. " I will remember that for you will be the only one who I'll allow to pinch my heart like this," Fleur pronounced as she pulled away from his grasp. " I will see you tomorrow, Cherie, Bon Nuit," Fleur said kissing him for the last time before walking back to their carriage.
End of flash back
Fleur almost bumped into Harry when she started walking again. " Good morning, Harry," Fleur greeted him then smiled a little while waiting for his reply. Harry took a minute to process this then greeted back. " Morning, Professor Delacour,". He then walked away before Fleur could engage a conversation with him. Fleur felt hurt when Harry had done this. " I guess he'll never love me again after what happened, I don't blamed him I deserve all of this," Fleur noted to herself. A Fresh of salty tears rolled down her eyes.
Flash Back
" Oh, Fleur why are you crying, I hate it when I see you like this," Harry said looking worried. Fleur hugged him tight, ' Oh, Harry I thought something happened to you," Fleur said punching his chest ." Shh, hush now I was in detention and I couldn't send anyone to tell you I'm sorry," he explained while wiping the tears away from Fleur cheeks. " Why do you hate it when I cry," Fleur asked with a hiccup . " Because a part of me cries too when you do and it pains me when I see and feel you hurt," Harry replied. " Then I will not crywith no reason anymore, " Fleur said while holding on to Harry.
End of Flash Back
' I hate myself, I hate myself for doing him wrong, now he can't even call me by my first name," Fleur reprimanded herself. Classes went on smoothly through out the day and both Harry and Fleur was relieved by this. " Professor Potter, are you okay," Hermione asked Harry aloud. Harry snapped back from his daydream, " What Professor Granger, did you ask something," he asked.
Fleur looked at this, " So I'm not the only one he calls with their title, I guess he only did that for the sake of being professionals," she noted to herself and smiled a bit after this. " I said are you okay Professor, you look a bit disoriented, you might want to visit the hospital wing after lunch," Hermione suggested. " No, I'm okay I'm just thinking about my lessons," Harry lied because he had been actually think about Fleur.
Hermione eyed him, but let the issue go. " So, how was your classes this morning Professor Delacour," Minerva asked. Harry pretended not to eavesdrop, " It was fine headmistress," she replied. He sighed at her answer that earned him a look for both women. " Then that's good," Minerva said still looking at Harry. " Are you alright Professor Potter," she asked. He smiled at her, " I'm fine headmistress, just tired," Harry replied. Fleur frowned at this and started to worry. " Well, Mister Potter I suggest you go to the hospital wing after lunch and drink a potion before going to class," Minerva suggested sweetly.
Harry smiled at the suggestion then excused himself from the table. He went to the hospital wing and drank a pink potion. He felt tingily at first then felt a lot better he thanked madam Pomfey then proceeded to class. " I hope Harry will be fine, I don't know what I'll do without him in all the years he wasn't present Gabi was there to help me, but right now I'm on my own, " Fleur sighed at the thought that crossed her mind.
Weeks past and Harry looked worst than ever. " Harry what's happening to you, I haven't seen you like this since you broke up with.." Mione said in a matter-of-factly tone, but she cut her words. " I'm sorry you're worried, it's because I feel that Fleur so near and yet so far away and its making me sick," Harry said sadly. Hermione hugged him, " I guess If you are feeling this way, its time for me to help and don't even bother stopping me cause it won't do you any good," Hermione said expiratedly.
Harry didn't say anything because he had heard this tone before and it was the, nothing you can do or say will stop me from helping you, tone. The other part of Harry was relieved because he didn't have to make excuses just to avoid Fleur. Fleur was worried and hated herself more because Harry was really desperate to get away from her, he avoided her at all costs when he can, the others were oblivious to this, but her. " Headmistress, I think I have an idea on how to cure Harry," she started. Minerva eyed her, "Well that's great, how can I help," Minerva asked.
" We have to bring Fleur and Harry back together I know Its hard, but I know it will work. We will make them think that we are starting a dueling club and that's how I think we will be able to help them move on," Hermione said. " That's a good idea, you have my support in this, better tell Fleur about it If you are to start this dueling club," Minerva said then winked at her. Hermione called Fleur when she saw her,
" Fleur come here, I have a suggestion," Hermione said sounding excited. Fleur was bewildered by her friend's action, " Why what's wrong, How's Harry," she asked. " Harry's been sick, but enough about that, I have a suggestion and I hope you think about it, " Mione paused. Fleur urged her to continue. " I asked Minerva If we could start a dueling club and she said yes, If you are willing to help," Hermione finished.
" Why, do we need a dueling club, the war's been long over, " Fleur asked strangely. " I know, but let' s just say its an extension of all classes just to help the students pass their O.W.L..S and N.E.W.T.S. believe me If we had this opportunity before when I was still studying I'd take it even though I perfected all my test before. It's a form of review you know," Hermoine said before Fleur could ask her about her grades before.
" Okay, I'm in but who are the other who'll join in teaching," she said naturally but hoped Harry would be there. They separated after discussing for about an hour what to teach the students. Mione visited Harry and shared the idea, " It'll help them Harry, so please consider it," Harry grinned at her. " Is this your idea to help me with Fleur, If it is I'm in," Harry said with a smile on his face. Hermione nodded and smiled back at him. " Come here," Beckoned her forward.
Mione approached him and Harry hugged her unaware Fleur was behind them, " Thanks Mione, I don't know what I'll do without you, I love you," Harry said. They were both startled when Fleur cleared her throat. " Sorry, Professor Delacour we didn't noticed you were there," Harry apologized. " I realized that and Hermione the first meeting will commence next Thursday at the great hall after dinner and please If the class hours has finish and we have free time please call me Fleur we are friends or at least were friends after all," she said then turned to walk away.
Tears started to fall from Fleur eyes, " That could have been me whom he was telling I Love you to, but no he only sees me as a colleague. He can't even call me by my first name anymore. I'm nothing more than a colleague least that's better than nothing," Fleur noted and made her way to her quarters with a heavy heart, but was able to sleep. Harry felt bad about the boundaries he set for himself.
No matter how hard he wanted to call Fleur by her first name it was hard for him knowing that If called her by her name he would think personally of her and that would hurt him again. To Harry calling Fleur by her professional status always brought him to reality, that he has no reason to get hurt again, but he knew he was lying to himself.
This was just a simple warning for himself that If he called her by her name again when he addressed her he was giving himself hope of getting back together again which to him was falling into the pits of depression again and that was a reason for getting hurt again. After thinking this he closed his eyes and fell asleep. Mione kissed his forehead, " Remember what Cho said don't be afraid to let yourself fall Harry," Mione whispered into his ear before leaving him at peace.
