Author's Note: I'm glad everyone seemed on board with Paige punching the girl, because that almost didn't make it into the chapter.
The car ride back was tense and silent.
Obviously, they'd been thrown out and banned from the club on the spot after Paige's punch.
Mike is fuming. He can't believe Paige would put him in that situation. Actually, he can believe it and that may be a part of why he's so pissed. She was always doing this, throwing him at other women, and he didn't understand. He didn't care if they were married or broken up, no matter what, the thought of Paige with another man would always bother him and he would certainly never try to orchestrate it. Yet from the second he met her, she'd been throwing other women at him. He thought that might end once they'd dated, but then she'd thrown him at Jess while they were dating and now this?
He didn't even know what to make of the fact that Paige had nearly started a bar brawl. Yes, the girl kind of had it coming, and quite frankly Mike was surprised Paige didn't hit her sooner, but the flying sucker punch that came out of nowhere was unexpected. The whole thing escalated so quickly that it took both Mike and the bouncer to drag her out of there.
Mike throws a glance over at her and catches her staring out the window rubbing her knuckles. He hopes she didn't break it on the woman's jaw. His worry for her safety briefly overcomes his anger at her.
"How's your hand?" Mike finally asks gruffly, breaking the silence.
"Oh so we're speaking now?" She asks sarcastically, quickly stopping stroking her hand and tucking both her hands under her arms. "You want to tell me what happened back there?"
"Do you want to tell me?!" Mike demands, "What were we even doing there, Paige?"
"I thought we were going out to a bar to have a few drinks and possibly get you laid. Y'know, like we used to do. I was just trying to get things back to normal." Paige defends herself.
"There is nothing normal about this!" Mike insists, "Did you even think about what it would do to my reputation if I'm caught in a swingers bar?"
"It was very discreet-"
"I DON'T CARE!" Mike cuts off her excuses, "Look, like it or not, we're married now. So if you want to screw around on the side at least have the decency to try to be discreet about it and not parade it in my fucking face."
"That wasn't me trying to-" Paige once again tries to talk but is cut off by Mike's yelling.
"Then what?! What were you trying to do?" Mike demands.
"I thought you-"
"You thought I what? You thought I would be ok with it? That I would want to go pick up another married couple with you? How does that work exactly? Is it one big free for all? Do we take turns, or does one of us just watch?" Mike demands cruelly.
"No! I wasn't thinking-"
"No shit you weren't thinking!" Mike interrupts yet again, "I mean what possibly made you think this was a good idea?"
"Could you just let me talk?!" Paige finally screams back at him, "Look, I was worried about what you said the other morning, after I caught you in the shower. I meant what I said Mike. I don't expect you to be celibate. I know you're giving up a lot for me with this marriage, and... Mike, I just wanted to show you we could make this work. That you didn't have to sacrifice everything. Clearly, I should have talked to you about it first."
Mike sits and stews in her words for a moment. This was not his fault, and her implying she was doing him a favor pisses him off even more. He never asked her for this. There was a whole world of difference between him taking care of himself and going out and finding strangers to get laid. He didn't need that. Obviously she did.
"I don't want to watch you date other men!" Mike says the words in a rush as he stares straight ahead at the road, his foot pressing down on the gas. "I know you're going to. I just don't want to watch. And yes, I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. No, you know what? That's a lie. It should bother me, and it should bother you too. What the fuck, Paige? What do you want? You want us to go out on double dates and go home with other people? You think that's normal?"
"Don't make me out to be some weirdo here! It's not like you haven't drug me on double dates before." Paige says defensively, "Remember Abby?"
"Woah. Hold on." Mike holds up his hand to her, not able to believe she was using this as an argument, "First of all, we were just friends at the time, and Abby wanted to hang out with you…"
"Yeah. To size me up as competition." Paige scoffs.
"No. She just wanted to… wait was that what she was doing?" Mike asks, surprised at this new light. Girls were so devious. He didn't understand women. Any of them. Especially not Paige.
"Obviously! You didn't know? Why do you think I brought Vance?" Paige laughs back that he didn't know.
"I thought you were just being a dick!"
"I was trying to be less threatening and show her that we were just friends and that I had zero interest in you." Paige argues back at him. Mike sits there and contemplates this rewriting of history. He remembers that date. At the time, he had been infuriated Paige had brought a low level drug dealer along... then something else she said catches his attention.
"You weren't interested in me? At all? Like not even curious?" Mike calls her out, offended. True, they weren't dating at the time, but he remembers feeling a spark that he didn't think was totally one sided.
"Well… Maybe a little. So I guess Abby wasn't wrong..." Paige grins at the memory. She turns to him smugly, "You married me though, so looks like I won after all…"
"I hardly think this counts as winning," Mike scoffs, calming down, but still very aware they were in a fight, "and technically I went home with Abby that night."
"Yeah, but tell me it wasn't me you were thinking of that night." Paige takes him off guard as she straight up calls him out.
"Well… Maybe a little." Mike throws her words back at her with a small guilty smile at the memory.
A moment passes as they both are trapped in their thoughts. The argument has at least cooled down to the point where Mike feels like he can think again, rather than just irrationally scream at her. Clearing his throat, he carefully searches for the right words to voice his concerns, without starting another fight.
"Look, I know the arrangement we have is unsustainable. I know you're going to eventually want to date someone, but can we just agree not to date other people while we're still figuring this out? I mean, I'm still adjusting to our new situation. It's complicated enough without adding other people to the equation." Mike rubs the back of his neck, knowing that he has no right to demand fidelity at this point, but asking her anyways.
"Ok." Paige agrees quickly, "For right now, we'll press pause on dating other people. You're right. It's probably too soon."
"Maybe we can talk about it again after the holidays..." Mike says, wanting to let her know he would find a way to be ok with this some day.
"Yeah, after new years." Paige agrees, "But Mike, if you find someone before that, I'll understand. Just, do me a favor and find someone better than that stuck up bitch back there."
"Ok. New Years. And no more secrets." Mike says, dreading the next year already. "And no more punching people... Though I've got to admit, that was a hell of a punch."
"She asked for it." Paige mutters, examining her bruised knuckles, "Bitch."
The rest of the drive is silent, but not uncomfortably so. Both agents take the time to calm down from the adrenaline of the screaming match that just took place in the small car. Finally, Mike parks the car in the garage at Graceland.
"I'm sorry about tonight." Paige's voice finally says softly as Mike turns off the car.
"I'm sorry too. I overreacted." Mike sighs as he sits back in the seat and runs his hands back through his hair. "We're home early. What are we going to tell Johnny?"
