I have a deep appreciation for Kurt in this chapter. Oh, and by the way, I'm asking for song suggestions! I'm having trouble thinking of some, as you can tell by my absence of songs in this, so please, songs! Once again, please review!
Rachel dreaded the dawn. But like every other day, the sun eventually came. When the light found its way through her windows, she lay still. She didn't even get up to work on the elliptical.
She was seriously considering staying home today when she heard a knock on the door. Her dad's were gone for the week, and she wasn't expecting visitors. She looked at the peep-hole discreetly.
"Open up. It's me Kurt." And so it was.
She carefully unlocked the door. "Why are you here?" She asked, not rudely, just honestly curious. He slid past her, inviting himself in.
"I am here," he said, sitting down on the couch. "To make sure you come to school today and don't just sit around moping."
Rachel frowned. "I'm not moping. And how do you even know about…"
He cut her off. "Finn."
"Oh." said Rachel. She blushed a little, and stood awkwardly, wondering what on earth to do with her hands. So she figured she might as well make breakfast to keep her busy. She walked into the kitchen, Kurt following her.
Not wanting to be rude, she asked, "Do you want anything?" Kurt shook his head and leaned against the counter.
"So…?" He asked, intuitively.
Rachel stopped. Heart went cold and her mind went blank. "I broke up with him." She whispered.
Kurt looked at her somewhat admiringly. "Marcus?" She nodded and went back to her bowl. "That's too bad; I never got to meet him." She didn't say anything. "So…" Kurt repeated. "Who are you going to choose?"
Rachel nearly dropped the corn flakes she turned around so fast. "Excuse me?"
"Finn or Puck?" Kurt said, as if it were completely obvious. "Or Noah as you like to call him."
"Neither." Rachel answered, trying hard to keep her voice steady. Kurt's jaw dropped.
"You're saying," He paused for dramatic affect. "That you have both of the hottest guys in Glee chasing after you and you're not going to do anything?" He walked over to her. "You've got to be kidding!"
"Since when are you so eager for me and Finn to get together?" She asked acidly. Kurt blinked a few times, not answering. Rachel sighed, and then continued. "Noah has Quinn. Finally he has someone. I care about him enough to not want to jeopardize that. And as for Finn, well, he just recovered from a bad heartbreak. If I go with him now I'll be nothing but a rebound girl. He'll use me until his better and then he'll leave. And I like myself enough to not want to go through that. He needs time."
"Yes, Rachel, I know the definition of rebound." She saw him fight the urge to roll his eyes. "So you're saying you want to be with Finn, just not now when he wants to be with you?" Kurt looked as if he'd like nothing more than to slap her.
She sighed again. "Kurt, this pep talk isn't really helping my confidence."
Kurt was silent for a moment as he mulled it all over. "So what are you gonna do?"
"I, Rachel Berry, for the first time in my entire life, am going to wing it."
***
I turned out that winging it was easier than she thought. She started her day of regularly, (with the exception of Kurt driving her) and she went to all her classes. The only time she came close to breaking was when she saw Finn in the hallway.
They both stopped walking. He inched forward, and so did she. Then she took a deep breath and moved her legs.
They both walked right past each other.
But Glee club was by far the worst.
The second she sat down, Puck walked in also.
"Hey." He said quietly.
She didn't know how to respond. Should she even respond? She panicked a little. She didn't like not having a plan. She felt like she was up on stage, in the spotlight, and had no idea what her lines were.
And that was not a good feeling for Rachel Berry.
***
She sobbed as quietly as she could. Over the past few days she hardly had a minute of peace. She wanted nothing more than to run the auditorium and cry, but she would be found much too easily.
So she had settled for a niche under the bleachers. She just had to hope a couple wouldn't stumble across her accidently.
She stayed there for a long time. And she didn't even stop crying until she heard the sound of footsteps on metal above her. Someone was sitting right above her head. Her stomach felt empty, her heart jumped up to her throat, and she could feel her blood pounding in her ears, all because she knew exactly who it was.
"Look." Finn started.
"Dude." She could image Puck rolling his eyes. "What could you possibly have to say to me?"
She heard Finn scowl. "Shouldn't this be the other way around?" She found a small crack in the metal, and saw him shaking his head. "She wasn't in the auditorium. And I can't think of any other place she'd go."
"Girls bathroom." Puck pointed out.
Finn shook his head again. "No, Kurt already checked." Despite everything, Rachel still had to stifle a giggle. "Can I ask you something? And get an honest answer I mean? You owe me that much." Puck didn't respond, so Finn kept going. "Why Rachel? How come you have to like every girl I do? Is it just a thing with you?"
"It's not supposed to happen that way. If it matters, they still both would prefer you. The only reason Quinn's with me is because you dumped her and she has no one else to go to."
"She liked you enough to have sex with you." Finn pointed out gruffly.
Puck shook his head. "That doesn't matter, she was drunk. The point is they just fool around with me, they'd never act like I'm worth a relationship with."
"You never seemed like you wanted one." Puck just kept shaking his head. "And Rachel?" He asked.
"She's liked you forever. What happened in the hallway was a total act of desperation."
"But she dated you."
"Because you were taken. And we both liked other people anyway. Me with… Quinn, her with you. That's why she- why we broke up." Puck explained, glossing over the part about her dumping him.
"But she still kissed you." Finn observed.
"She kissed you too. And I think you know I'm not just talking about the hallway."
"Is that going around?" Finn asked, half-angry, half-embarrassed. "I told Kurt…"
"It wasn't Kurt." Puck interrupted. "It was Rachel."
"Did she tell you-"
"That you ran away." He asked mockingly. "Yeah."
Silence.
"That you used her?" Puck continued.
Silence.
"She told you that?"
"No, that one was Kurt." he admitted. "But still, I think the points still the same. You don't deserve her. Trust me Finn, I know you. You'd use her as a rebound. That's it. You won't be able to take it if some guy comes up to you and makes a comment, or if you're walking down the halls with her and they slushie you, you don't have the balls to date her."
Rachel had to blink tears away, because it was all true. Whenever she wasn't sure about something happening, she'd close her eyes and imagine it. If she couldn't even image it, it wasn't possible, but this was clear as day. He wouldn't stay by her for long. Because even though he wasn't any more, he still once was the most popular guy in school, where as she never was, and never would be.
She sniffed loudly. A little too loud.
"Did you hear that?" Finn asked.
Puck looked around, then spotted a pair of wide brown eyes staring through to crack. His widened. "Ummm… no?"
Finn looked confused. "Well, I'm gonna… go. I'll- bye." Finn got up and walked off awkwardly, but Puck stayed seated.
"What I said about Finn was true." He said, half-whispering. "But I don't deserve you either."
She wanted to reach out to him. Tell him that was absurd. But she didn't, because away he walked.
Once she could no longer see him, she crawled out of under the bleachers, straightened up, shook off all the grass. Then she sighed deeply, and went off to find Finn.
Just by the way, I also have other fan-fic. I've got a random P.B. and a tiny but sweet Fichel moment, so maybe just give them a look. Thanks!
-SiL3nT
