Chapter 8
I could smell the apprehension on their flesh as they cowered closer together, as if to protect their hind sides from an attack. I sighed, rubbing my temples.
Boys are dumb. I decided.
I looked around, still stinging from the doubt that the pack had for me. I knew that they were unsure but I never imagined that they... wouldn't trust their alpha. It's unheard of in wolf pack. I smiled at myself.
But they are also human. I looked at the boys, then at the pack, putting on my menacing alpha face best I could.
"Do you all doubt my abilities?"
A small 'no' came from somewhere in the crowd, and I knew that Sam and Jacob were behind me on this, Jacob just as offended as I was, Sam was livid with anger at the doubt in the pack. Dissention cause inner turmoil and this was most definitely dissention.
"I see." I sighed again, heavier than before.
How do I explain? I wondered, pacing around the two loudest culprits.
I looked at Quil, cute and scared and innocent. It ripped my heart out to know I had to make examples of him and Embry. "How do I explain to you how senseless your hate for the vampires is? Once upon a time they were evil and cruel, just like once upon a time our kind massacred and hunted people. The Cullens though, are different and we all know it. They purposely avoid taking the blood of humans and, just like what we have done, they hunt animals. How does that make them different from us? Embry!" I barked.
He flinched, almost falling over Quil. "Umm... umm.. t-they are blood drinkers..."
"And we are meat eaters! We hunt. So do they. We, the both of our kind, prey upon these stupid creatures," I motioned to the buck that was still warm, "and in a way, aren't we the same monsters as they?! And how!" I took a different approach to the matter, "how can we claim to be better when we segregate and hate them on purpose, avoiding and alienating them the best we can? They are actually seeking a change, a treaty; we have nothing but defined boundaries and pasts that we wrap our worlds into and keep them away from us and always, always feeling guilty of their transgressions."
"B-but we aren't that same as they are." Quil defended weakly, "They still thirst for human blood..."
I turned on him, "And when we are around our weaker counterparts, isn't there a part of you that just always whispers what it would be like to chase them, tease them with our teeth? That wants to flaunt our superior strength just to see how much they could stand before breaking into pieces. We are not better, nor are we different, than vampires wolves. We still have this insatiable will to dominate what we can. Humans fall into that category. We still have a primal instinct to hunt, as a pack or as individuals, weaker prey. Humans also fall into this category. It's why we were given the conscious of humans but the might and will of wolves."
There was an uneasy murmur within the pack and I realized I had gone over the line with my speech. Obviously not everyone was as open with themselves as I was with my pack.
After a few moments of debating, one she-wolf spoke out, "But that still doesn't tell us why, through our treaty with the vampires, you allowed one onto our lands."
I shook my head, "Were you not listening, you stupid creature!" I yelled, letting my anger get away from me. The crowd moved back from me as if afraid I would strike at them. "I see no threat from the vampires! They are nothing I cannot handle in wolf or human form. They do not scare or worry me because I do not smell the death on them that so lingers on the furs of some of our own!"
Much to my glee a few in the pack agreed with me, distancing themselves from the opposition. To my surprise I had just won half the pack over and figured out who still took to human hunting every now and again.
Sam bristled, taking over. I gladly stepped down. Jacob grabbed my hand, squeezing it. He kissed my forehead. Dimly I heard Sam yelling about the long past rule of human hunting, and how it had been forbidden. I picked the deer up by its head, slinging the body around my neck, grasping onto the legs to keep it steady.
Jacob eased a little closer, holding out his hands. I shook my head. This was not the time for him to help me and I desperately needed to leave.
That night we had a cookout, and I found out that, though my words from earlier were harsh, they were true and I had gained respect and trust. It lifted my heart to know I had gained and earned the position as alpha through the old ways and through the new.
I looked at Sam, wondering if he was going to demand stepping down. Now that there was an alpha pair I wondered if he felt obsolete in his duties as the second alpha. As the embers died and the deer was devoured a story was told of long ago, of when there was a time wolf teeth knew human flesh and roved through the mountains, claiming the land and owning it. My heart longed for the past, for that freedom to be my own without the bars of humanity.
"But," Billy looked over the crowd, "They had begun to lose their human souls. Becoming more and more like the wolves they were at first gifted with, losing their human spirits to the spirit of the animal within. Ever since then our kind has dwelt with humans staying apart to keep ourselves concealed and allow the wolf to play, but mingling to sate the human in us and keep us what we were before our gifts."
I sighed, leaning against Jacobs shoulder. I was tired and I didn't want to think anymore. He grabbed my hand, "Think of how much different our lives would be if we could do that, Kris."
"Do what?"
"Be free."
I laughed suddenly at the thought that came to my mind. "I'd already be pregnant, wolf-boy."
His eyes took on a different sheen and his scent turned huskier. I smiled playfully. "And that would be a bad thing?"
He nuzzled my neck, nipping at the softer skin. I pushed him away, embarrassed by the public display of affection, noticing the secretive smiles and glances from the others around us.
"Jacob!" I scorned through gritted teeth.
"What?" He asked, much more loudly, mostly to rile me up, "They all know we're mates, I mean, come on!" He emphasized, "They aren't stupid."
I glared, standing, "Billy, I'm going for a walk, please excuse me."
I heard Embry tease Jacob a little bit, "Wow Jake, how come she chose a dude like you, neh? You pissin' her off like that."
Jacob sighed, "Later Dad, I've gotta chase her down. Sam?" Sam must've agreed to take the alpha position while we were gone.
I waited, tensed, just inside the tree line. Jacob came closer and closer, excitement rose up in my belly as I waited, waited, waited. It was driving me nuts!
His stopped right outside the tree line, sniffing and then reaching. His hand brushed against my shirt and I took off. I sprang off my right foot, racing through the forest with all I could muster within me. I was faster than Jacob, for the time being, and I knew my limitations. Not only could I never find the right pace for myself but I burst all my energy into the first part of the race, burned out before I could completely get away. This knowledge told me I had to be sneaky as a fox.
I leapt over a low branch, slowing down long enough to act on a whim. I climbed the tree, jumping from one branch to another, like ninjas in cartoons, only not so fast and not so gracefully. My scent was above Jacob. I paused long enough to watch him circle the area, sniffing, curious and then took off again. Soon enough I was on the ground and I heard him give a human howl that was wolf enough to tell me what he meant.
I found you.
I shivered; goosebumps on my skin. I leapt into a nearby stream and swam down river, breaking off before it joined the ocean, killing my scent. Sure that I had gotten him, I circled back to the reservation, having enough energy this close by to race him back before he could quite realize what I had done. Much to my surprise, he howled again.
I found you.
I slowed down. How could he...? I masked my scent perfectly...
He dropped in front of me from a nearby cliff. Startled I back away from his advancements until I was pinned against the cliff wall.
"J-Jacob, how did you find me?"
He traced my jaw with his finger, "Quite easily my dear." His voice was silky against my ears. I smiled, giggling as his finger escaped to my neck.
I pushed him away, "It tickles!" I stated, "Besides, 'quite easily' is not an answer. I tried really hard this time, how did you find me?"
He was silent for the time being, once again against me, letting his hands rove over my skin. I bit back a groan as he kissed along my jawline, lowering his mouth to the collar of my shirt; his hand was sneaking upwards, playing along the hem of the cup of my bra. I closed my eyes, locking my fingers in his hair as his mouth became angrier and more demanding. He pulled away best he could with me locking him in place like that.
"You know what I want to do to you, Kris?" His voice whispered in my ear, his fingers dipping inside my bra, circling my breast, "I want to claim you, make you say my name."
I breathed harder, he was completely dominant, and I was fine with that... but I still wanted to know how he got ahead of me. I pulled away from him, grabbing his hand with mine, licking his fingertips, kissing his palm.
"How did you get ahead of me, Jacob?" I demanded.
He stepped away but I wanted him to come closer. This was not how our play went, he would always step closer, and then he would proceed to tickle, fondle, or kiss me. He turned away. This time, I moved closer, but he held out his hand, stopping me from approaching.
"What I hide is less important than what you are hiding." I froze, the game was shattered and our playful pretense gone. He turned to me, pain on his face, "Tell me."
I sighed, "You're so melodramatic, Jake." I had given myself away with that word... 'Jake'.
He tensed, facing me finally. "What?"
"And a horrible thing you did, too." I muttered, "Ruining our game..." I shrugged, "But it was the smart thing to do, I guess. Only way you could ever pin me down to tell… and away from everyone else, genius."
He started to get annoyed, "What is it, Kris?"
I turned away, crossing my arms over my chest, "But I really did like the game... and I had it so well figured out too. If only you would-" I was surprised as he violently spun me to face him, taking my face in his hands.
"You will tell me." I averted my eyes, this wasn't Jacob anymore. This was my alpha.
"My mother is taking me home in three weeks..." The silence that followed was murderous.
