Author's Note: Here's another chapter, since the last one was too short.
Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or The Hunger Games. Also, for all of you Game of Thrones and Game of Thrones: The Modern Re-Telling fans, winter is STILL coming to Westeros.
"I got an 11?" I cry. At breakfast, I found out I did so good in training, that they gave me an 11. Ace only got an 8 for unknown reasons. Love my life!
"They love you, honey! You're gonna be the next Shirley Temple!" Bon Kurei coos as he pinches my cheeks. Having an okama pinch your cheeks is much more disturbing than it sounds. I feel violated.
"Hana, get ready - Interviews are tonight," Thierry reminds me. "Oh, and winter is still coming to Westeros."
I spit my orange juice out all over Thierry.
I have to do interviews AND winter is STILL coming?
FML.
Several hours of coaching from Bon Kurei and Thierry later, Hawkins is prepping me for interviews.
"Do I have to dress up?" I whine. I really don't get why we have to dress up for the interviews, and the whole concept of dressing up for the interviews is stupid.
"Just shut up and close your eyes," Hawkins commands. I do so as Hawkins puts on my outfit. "Okay, open your eyes, you stupid bitch."
I open my eyes, and my outfit...
Sucks!
Hawkins dressed me up as Sasuke Uchiha, the world's biggest dobe!
"What the hell? I hate Sasuke!" I cry.
"Would you rather be dressed in something slutty?" Hawkins asks me. I sigh.
"No. That would mean dressing up for the interviews, which I don't get," I explain.
"This is why I love working for District 12," Hawkins says with a smile.
Hawkins and I watch the interviews with much apathy. We don't care about Kalifa's slutty dress or how much she thinks it's sexual harassment. We don't care how Jyabura projects himself as a prizefighter. We also don't care about Pandaman's real name.
I cheer when Bonney takes the stage. Like usual, she's in hipster clothing, saying that dressing up is too mainstream. Our interviewer, Scratchman Apoo, asks her the usual questions, and Bonney had answers that totally fit for hipsters. Here's how it went -
1. What is your favorite movie? (Tie between Garden State and The Spanish Inn)
2. Favorite artist/singer? (Arcade Fire)
3. Favorite T.V. show? (Portlandia)
4. Favorite store? (Urban Outfitters, local boutiques, and the local thrift shop)
5. Favorite Director? (Wes Anderson)
6. Where would you like to go on vacation? (Coachella, Lollapalooza, Stagecoach, Glastonbury, Bonnaroo, Wanderlust, and various other music festivals. Oh, and Portland, Willamsburg, Austin, Brooklyn, and Silver Lake)
7. How will you win the Hunger Games? (Hide and run a lot. I'll be like an obscure celebrity you don't know about.)
Bonney, we are awesome friends. Sadly, her fellow Tribute from 11, X. Drake, doesn't impress me that much.
Then, it's my turn. Why is there freeform Cajun jazz music playing?
"Hello, hello, Hana!" Apoo greets me.
"Hello, Apoo," I greet Apoo back.
"So, Hana, what do you think of the Capitol?" Apoo asks me.
"It sucks," I answer truthfully. In reality, it does suck. I haven't been able to sightsee as of yet, and everyone looks like Lady Gaga and every single anime out there adopted desinger babies from Nicki Minaj.
Surprisingly, nobody reacts.
"You don't like the Capitol? Don't you enjoy ANYTHING about it?" Apoo asks me.
"Well, I enjoy the room service. And the sleepovers with Nojiko, my bitch. I'd like to give a shoutout to her, since she's been so good to me during these tough times," I explain.
"Nojiko, huh? She better be watching," Apoo explains. "But, enough about the Capitol - Why the fuck did you volunteer?"
"Aria can't do shit. I was doing her a favor," I explain.
"I see. You better win for her, okay?" Apoo asks me.
"Okey dokey," I say. Then, the interview ends there.
"Aw! We're out of time! Thank you for talking to me, Hana," Apoo thanks me as he hugs me.
"No prob," I say. Then, Ace's interview begins.
"Ace, my man! What's crack-a-lackin'?" Apoo asks Ace as he attempts to perform a secret handshake with him. Ace has a syringe in his arm, and he looks droopy.
"Fine," Ace mumbles. He must be only 25% awake.
"How's life?" Apoo asks Ace, who ponders this for a whole minute.
"I love you, Hana Yakushi!" Ace screams before he jumps on the couch like he's Tom Cruise. He then does a backflip off of the couch. It is then I realize that the substance in the syringe is caffiene.
Okay?
Wait, wait, WAIT a minute - Did Ace just say that he was IN LOVE with me?
Eh. He's probably hyper from the caffiene shot.
"Does it suck that Hana may kill you?" Apoo asks Ace, who shrugs.
"Doesn't matter, I want her babies!" Ace proclaims.
"Wonderful! DJ, cue music!" Apoo says. Then, an alarm goes off.
"Time's up! Go have sex with your future wifey!" Apoo tells Ace. I facepalm.
I hope Ace dies first in the arena.
Ace - who still is on caffiene shots - gets to our floor before me. When Thierry, Bon Kurei, and I arrive, I immediately push Ace into a vase (hey, that rhymes) and kick him in his balls.
"You barely even know me! Even though we go to the same school and live in the same District, we're as estranged as Tiger Woods and one of his hoes!" I rant before taking the caffiene-filled syringe out of Ace's arm. He then falls asleep like a baby. Thierry crosses his arms.
"Ace was doing you a favor. He could very well save your life in the arena, even if he may be asleep for the Games," Thierry explains. Bon Kurei scoffs.
"Manners!" Bon Kurei says as he points a scolding finger at me. I sigh.
"I'm going to bed. I'll see you guys either from Heaven or from my mansion in the Victor's Village," I say before I retire to my room. Thankfully, Nojiko is there and turning down my pillow for the night.
Did something happen?
XOXO
- Nojiko, the Gossip Girl
I sigh.
"Did you watch the interviews?" I ask. Nojiko nods as she texts.
Totally! U should hook up w/ Ace!
XOXO
- Nojiko, the Gossip Girl
I facepalm.
"Nojiko... I think it's best that you have the night off. I want to be left alone," I explain. Nojiko frowns.
That sux. I'll... See U around, I guess.
XOXO
- Nojiko, the Gossip Girl
"See you," I say before Nojiko leaves. After she closes the door behind her, I lock it and stomp my foot.
"FUCK MY LIFE!" I scream. Ace is in love with me, the Games start tomorrow, and Nojiko wants me to hook up with Ace. Fuck my life, indeed.
Ending Note: Sorry, Hana, Ace can't die because he's playing Peeta.
Hana: "What the truck?"
Me: "Anyway, review if you want to see the Hunger Games begin."
Hana: "Also, be sure to read Game of Thrones: The Modern Re-Telling if you like Soul Eater, Baccano, Hetalia, Game of Thrones, and/or One Piece: Parallel Works. I'm in it, Yuki-Rin's in it, Molly's in it, and, ladies... Heathcliffe and his brothers are in it!"
