I was sitting, alone in the Forman's basement, watching cartoons. No one was home, and I sort of felt like a stalker, but Eric gave me a key so I figured I was welcome.
I considered getting in a one-man-or in my case, woman-Circle but decided against it. The Forman's could get home at any time and besides, I wasn't feeling up for it.
I flicked my lighter on with a push of my thumb and watched the fire dance, trying not to wallow in my own misery. What happened in the car with Sadie yesterday...made me feel different. Happier. It sounds stupid, but it was a new thing for me to be loved or cared about. Especially after growing up where no one cared whether I lived or died.
"Janis?" I looked up, quickly and shut my lighter off.
"Hyde. Hey."
"What are you doing here?" he asked, crossing the room to get to his chair. I shrugged.
"What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to be alone," he replied.
"Oh. Well, I guess me too." We were both quiet for a while, our eyes fixated on the screen but neither of us really watching.
"What are you thinking about?" Hyde asked, suddenly.
A few possible responses ran through my head like: "Nothing.", "Why do you care?", and "None of your business!" but I decided on the truth. "My past."
"Fun," he said, sarcastically.
"Not really. Not when you've had a past as bad as mine." I tried to stop myself. I didn't want to try to make him feel bad for me.
"What happened?"
"You don't wanna know," I replied and offered a fake laugh that sounded hollow and empty even to me.
"Come on, just tell me. I'm probably the only one who's not gonna make a big deal out of it." This was true.
I sighed. "I got in a lot of fights at my old school. The other students were bitches and assholes, and the teachers were morons. No one...understood me, and I hate most people in general so you can probably guess that I got in trouble a lot. Anyway, my parents got fed up and...kicked me out." I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes. Crap, was I crying? "I lived on the streets for a long time until I moved here, to live with my sister."
"Damn. That..." Hyde searched for the right word. "sucks." I grinned.
"You're not very good at comforting people, are you?"
"Not really."
"Don't worry. Me neither," I replied and looked up at him. His sunglasses weren't on and we locked gazes.
I blushed and looked away. "Umm..."
"What?"
I shook my head. "Nothing. I don't know." I felt like a little schoolgirl with a crush. I felt like...Jackie. I shuddered at the thought.
"The Forman's aren't going to be home for a while, you know," Hyde said and I turned to look at him.
"So?"
"So...we could do anything we want." I was still confused.
"Like what?" I asked and he leaned over to kiss me. Oh. Like this.
