Ch 8. Forgive Me
They were all seated out by the lake; a privacy bubble had been erected around them so they couldn't be overheard. Nobody said anything for a full ten minutes, all sitting in silence not wanting to be the first to break the spell.
"I want you to know that I can't really tell you much, it's all pretty top secret," Hermione started finally, taking deep calming breaths. Before speaking she had been deciding what exactly to tell them. She had decided that telling them about being from the future was out, Peter might already be a spy for Voldemort and if that was the case then she didn't want him finding out. Yes, she could be strong, but she didn't think she would last under torture and making things up wouldn't work with him, considering he could just read her mind.
'Yeah but it's better than being completely in the dark," James said, speaking for all of them. Hermione nodded in understanding, she definitely knew what that was like.
"Basically, I'm here on a mission for Dumbledore," she started. "My real name is Hermione Granger but at the start of the school year he decided that I should keep my real name hidden, I would have changed my appearance but you had already seen me and it would be hard to keep that up at all times. I can't tell you what the mission is or even how long it will take, I don't even know that last one. I'm sorry for having lied to you."
They sat in the stifling silence for a while longer before Sirius got up and sat beside her, pulling Hermione into a hug, kissing the top of her head.
"I know I forgive you," he mumbled. "You just followed orders though it would have been nice if you had told us, I guess you couldn't."
"I agree it's alright, and if Dumbledore trusts you then you're obviously not evil," James said.
"Definitely not going to strangle us in our sleep though we maybe should get a guard dog…" Remus added with a charming grin that warmed Hermione to the core. Since she had met them she had been living a lie, not being honest with them yet they had forgiven her. In her time Sirius or Remus would never do that, no one would, it just shows how much war had changed everybody and it made her sad to think about it.
"Oh I think we'll be okay," James added eyes flicking over to Sirius who burst out laughing. Of course Hermione got what they were laughing about but couldn't join in; she wasn't supposed to know that they were Animagus.
"Boys," Lily muttered rolling her eyes. "Do you want to go and get something to eat now? I'm famished!" The mention of food stopped the boys short as they all eagerly agreed. "Oh wait we can't! Breakfast will be finished by now!"
"Ah but you have forgotten who you are with, fair maiden," James said elegantly but with a mischievous smile that completely ruined the effect. "We the Marauders are special and if you ask us nicely I'm sure we would happily lead you to the kitchens."
"Students aren't allowed in the kitchens," was Lily's immediate response but the curiosity in her eyes was easy to see, so they all sat silently, waiting for her to crack. "How in the world did you find out where the kitchens were? You don't pester those poor house elves do you?"
"Of course not!" James gasped in mock indignation, as if the mere thought of it appalled him. Hermione couldn't stifle her grin as all the other boys laughed loudly. So they made their way to the kitchens with Lily in tow and Hermione couldn't help but think that, at the moment, life seemed perfect.
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Two weeks had passed. The strain of being in the past was getting to Hermione. Sirius and herself had gotten really close, yes she had already loved him but now that they were in a relationship and she knew he had some feelings for her, that love seemed to run a lot deeper. Truthfully she was terrified of getting her heart broken. Eventually she would have to go back and even if Sirius forgave her for that, twenty odd years would have passed; there was no chance that he would still have feelings for her. Pushing those painful thoughts out of her mind she focused on her other problem.
Lily and James still weren't together! They had been flirty and it was obvious to see they liked each other but neither seemed willing to make the first move. Suddenly and absolutely Slytherin idea came to her. It was so sneaky and manipulative that it just might work. Trying to persuade each person to see what was right in front of them hadn't worked….so she would force them to pay attention. But if she were to pull it off then she would need everyone's help.
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White blankets of snow covered the Hogwarts grounds as Christmas fast approached. With each passing day the despair seemed to weigh on Hermione a little more. This would be the first Christmas after the fall of Voldemort and she felt that it was important to spend it with her family. Celebrating the fact they had all lived to see another Christmas and New Year.
Hopefully she would be going back soon though. Tomorrow night her plan would be put in action. It was really simple. Remus and Peter would find Lily and James, telling them they had to get down to the lake immediately. Hermione and Sirius were in trouble and needed their help. The two would be lying in wait and as soon as the soon to be couple showed up they would stun them, before moving them to the Shrieking Shack, which had been done all nice. Hermione would proceed with placing a locking charm on every door that would last for twenty four hours, which would hopefully be enough time for one to ask the other out.
Butterflies seemed to be bouncing about in her stomach as the night fast approached; Lily and James were in a good mood, which was lucky. Hermione hoped they wouldn't be too mad when they found out they had been tricked.
The plan went off without a hitch. For the first five minutes Hermione and Sirius stood and listened to the furious shouts of Lily Evans. Unsurprisingly James was quiet, probably thinking that the situation wasn't all that bad. Not that they should be complaining.
Hermione with the help of the three boys had cleaned the room till it was spotless, they then added some colour to the room, throwing a few blankets and cushions in, and lastly they had asked the house elves to pack a large picnic, which they were more than willing to do.
Taking her hand Sirius led her away and out to sit beside the lake. For almost an hour they just sat in silence, soaking up each others company. Hearing him sigh, she looked up and met his gaze; there was something in his eye that she had never seen before even when they were making love.
"Hermione, love, this is hard for me because I've never felt this way before but I wanted to tell you that…" the pause seemed to drag on as she held her breath, heart pounding. Surely he wasn't going to…No it was ridiculous, right? "I love you." And her heart broke. Finally she had heard those words she longed to hear, but she knew that what they had wouldn't last. If there was a way for her to stay in this time then she might actually consider it but there wasn't! And what about when she went back and he found out who she really was? How could he love her? Knowing that she had the power to save his best friends but had let them die? In fact how would she live with herself? She had the opportunity to save the parents that Harry yearned for…and she hadn't even tried. Guilt and self-loathing bubbled up in her as she jumped to her feet, tears building in her eyes.
"I love you too," she whispered to herself as she ran away, unable to do anything, unable to face her problems like she normally would. Too cowardly to go back and talk to him. Before she had even gotten past the front door she felt a tug at her stomach. Lily and James had just cemented their destiny!
"Hermione!" Sirius yelled running after her. Turning she got one last glimpse of the pain that was etched in his face as she was pulled away.
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She landed with a thud, in the entrance hall. Dizzy she stumbled to her feet. Pushing her way into the Great Hall she was met with familiar buzz, which quickly died as she was noticed. Looking to the Head table she saw Sirius sitting up there, with the same look of pain had held when she had left. All those years ago. She wasn't even aware of her friends running to her as the world span and she collapsed, welcoming the darkness.
