Spock sat quietly in his quarters at his desk studying the coordinates for the next mission. He knew that Nyota was currently on her date with McCoy. He wished her joy in her next romantic venture, but there was a sense of ache welling inside of him at having betrayed and lost her. She would never know that she was his touchstone. She was ever to thank for making him more human. She made him more accessible, friendlier, and inside he knew that life would be less enjoyable without her by his side.

She would always be by his side, the beautiful and purposeful Communications officer that was his literal dream and queen. However, now, she would always just be his friend, and he would learn to cherish a relationship with her that was something less than ideal. A beep at his door tore him from his studies.

"Come," he responded not looking up from his desk. Nyota entered the room and he could sense her presence behind him. He could smell her notable scent and he looked up from his computer, listening to footsteps drawing nearer.

"I received your message on my PADD," she said. She looked beautiful. Her hair was curled and short, the dress was spectacular. He halfway wondered why she'd never worn this particular outfit for him. He started to stand.

"No, stay seated. I have something to say," she started. Spock only nodded in agreement. Nyota walked closer to him and stood in front of him while he sat at his computer and watched her.

"You apologized and I couldn't be more confused by this moment. I should let you know that nothing happened with McCoy, he's always the voice of reason and when I couldn't move past what has happened he told me not to. I love you, Spock. I honestly and truly love you, and I think that we should try to move past everything that has happened. Trust is an issue, and this move scares me most of all, because I don't know how we are going to rebuild everything that was lost on Rivas 12. Do you?" she asked, sitting finally, looking at nothing but Spock's eyes. He didn't look away, only allowed his mind to contemplate the pregnant pause.

"I did not intend my message to stop your evolution away from our relationship. But I must say that I am glad that you've come to my quarters, as much as I am overjoyed to see you. I do not know how to move on from this, I do not know what to do or to say to regain your trust, but I will try everyday to do so," Spock's words were solid and Nyota knew them to be. She walked closer to him and batted her eyes in a way that Spock had always found pleasant. She was open to him the way that they used to be. He decided to show her how much he could be open to her. He grabbed her hand, closing the expanse that was separating them. She looked at him with a strange look in her eyes and allowed him to pull her forward.

"What is it that you suggest?" he asked, pulling her towards him and putting his head against hers. She felt his warm lips against her forehead and stiffened. He felt her move away from him emotionally and stopped his actions. He looked up and their eyes caught.

"Too fast," she said, moving away from him and walking towards his chair away from his seat on the couch.

"I apologize," he responded.

"Don't apologize. You're opening up, Spock. This is everything I wanted, I just never wanted it to be…" she started to tear up, "not like this."

"And I will always try to be open to you, my Nyota," Spock responded, moving across the expanse again to kneel in front of her. She wasn't looking at him as he did it, but to see a Vulcan supplicate for you was a rare sight. Spock had done kneeled before her twice. She finally looked at him, his face even with hers and his eyes deep pools of ebony emotions. She reached out and touched his face with her hand and allowed her body to mold to his.

"I need to know that this won't happen in another seven years. I don't know that I can move on past this, but I'm going to try. Right now I don't trust you."

"I propose that we start over. Everything will be like it was in the beginning. I will gain your trust back," he held her hand to his heart. She pulled away form their embrace to stare into his eyes.

"No, Spock. We don't start over, we move on from this, together. We can't start over, we just have to know that the love that we have for one another is going to last. So we work hard to trust one another, and instead of fighting… we fuck," Nyota smiled. Spock almost smiled with an upturn of his lips. She pulled him in close and their lips touched slowly. He laid his head on her chest and she rocked him back and forth until they both fell asleep.

****