Okay so after giving it some thought I think I should have made Truth Bombs one single longer chapter coz now it feels like it's dragging out too long. Oh well, hindsight is 20:20 and all that! This chapter is sort of 2 chapters put together into one so there is a little time jump in the middle. But hopefully it will all make sense! It's the only way to keep things moving even if it does make this chapter longer than originally planned. I decided to try and go for something a little different than my usual (yet again) so I hope this works. (Sorry to do all my writing experimentation on you guys!)
Sam felt his feet leaving the ground as Shane lifted him with one hand by the collar of his Letterman jacket. He shot panicked stares around him at the few remaining students in the hall who had all suddenly found the floor to be the most interesting thing in in the world.
Shane's deep voice was a harsh whisper. "I could smash your head against these lockers or I could smash my fist into your face. But luckily for you, that kind of intimidation doesn't sit right with me."
And for that Sam was truly thankful, although he suspected his back was still going to be bruised as a result of the locker shove. Yet Shane wasn't finished. "But that doesn't mean you're not going to get schooled Evans!"
Before he could even reply, the larger boy tightened his grip on his Letterman jacket and literally dragged him into the nearest classroom which, just happened to be empty. "Have a seat Evans!" Shane shoved him towards the nearest desk and Sam knew the wisest thing would be to do as he was told considering he had no idea of what was about to go down. It wasn't worth attempting to fight someone of Shane's size. There was no way he could possibly win and it would only serve to make Mercedes hate him more than she already did, which, despite everything, is not what he wanted right now. Trusting in the fact that Shane was highly unlikely to literally beat the living shit out of him he took a seat and waited.
"I sat like a fool and listened to you say all your shit so now you're going to sit and listen to a few truths!" Shane glared at him with angry eyes. "You're a shithead Sam! You had a good thing and you screwed it up. I had a good thing and you screwed it up. I have every reason to want to beat you to a pulp, but luckily I'm the better person."
Shane stared hard at him, stroking the stubble on his chin as he continued. "Let me break it down for you. I feel for Mercedes what she feels for you. Sadly it's the same thing that you also feel, only you feel it for your dick! I love her, but she doesn't love me so I let her go. She loves you, but you don't love her so she's let you go. You love your dick and there ain't nothing going to get between the two of you." Sam wanted to smile but luckily something told him just in time that it really wasn't that funny.
Instead stared back at him with defiant eyes. "And what makes you think that I will back away from Mercedes?"
Shane smiled and rubbed his moustache. "Because I may not be the kind of guy to risk his scholarship to Ohio State by smashing up your pretty little face, but I have plenty of friends who don't go to this school who will do anything for me. And these are friends with nothing to lose."
Sam swallowed audibly. The threat was clear.
"I'm watching you Evans! I'm watching you very carefully! If I so much as see you make Mercedes even slightly sad, I'll make you wish your parents had kept your skinny little ass in Kentucky for good!"
But Sam refused to go down without a fight. "And what if I don't want to leave her alone?" he asked quietly without breaking eye contact.
Shane grabbed him by the collar and lowered his voice to match Sam's, his face uncomfortably and threateningly close as he lifted Sam slightly out of his seat. "When I first met Mercedes she was messed up over you. Then you came back and messed her up all over again. I may not be with her anymore, but I swear, if you do anything to hurt her, then it will be you that gets messed up this time!"
Deciding that it would be wise to say no more Sam simply nodded and the larger boy released him before starting to walk away.
Shane suddenly stopped and turned to face him one last time. "I mean it Evans. If you can't love her, then leave her the hell alone!"
With those words he finally left the room, leaving Sam alone with his thoughts.
"What happened?" Sam spun his head as he left the room to see a concerned Quinn standing next to the doorway with her arms folded.
"I don't want to talk about it." He hooked his thumbs into his pockets and started to walk away.
"Quit playing Sam. I know Shane would never hurt a fly."
"Sometimes words hit harder than fists."
Her eyes narrowed at him in understanding. "Let me guess. You got a taste of your own medicine. You used the truth to hurt him and now he's done the same to you. Only I'm sure his was far less malicious."
"Look, what do you want from me?"
"What do I want? What do I want?" her green eyes sparkled with the intensity of her stare. "A certain soul sister of mine is in pieces at the moment and I'm feeling terrible for ever having given you any support for her. I like you as a friend, but right now I'm thinking it's led me to doing another friend wrong."
He rolled his eyes. "So you think she should be with Shane too?"
She shook her head. "I never thought that she should be with Shane. But the way things were with them I honestly thought that they would have reached their natural conclusion long before now. He's a good guy, but there's no passion there."
"What did you know about me and Mercedes?"
"More than she's ever told me. I lived with her while I was pregnant Sam. We bonded. We learned to read each other." She looked down at her hands. "Even though we weren't as close as before, for which I fully take the blame, I could tell something was going on with someone last summer but didn't know with who. I had to find out through Jacob Ben Israel just like everyone else. But from the second you stepped back here I noticed that something about you had changed. Something about you has become her. I could tell from the moment you opened your mouth when I propositioned you on your first day back. You never had sass before!"
He smiled tightly. "I have sass?"
"Yeah. I like to think so. But as Mercedes would say, you also have foolishness in you too. When I propositioned you on your first day back I truly believed what she had said about you just being a summer fling, but then you quickly revealed where your heart really lay."
"My heart?"
"Shut up and listen Sam! I'm going to keep this short and sweet. You said you loved me and we both know for a fact that you didn't mean it. Yet somehow that actually made it easier to say. It's easier to be with someone that you just like than it is to make yourself vulnerable and confess to the person you love." She paused for a moment and frowned. "You need to decide what you want."
"I want Mercedes!"
"I know you do Sam. But why? You need to work out what your motives are. Do you want Mercedes for superficial reasons, just like what you and I had together? Or do you really want to be with Mercedes? For something real. For something that can be a little bit scary but ultimately truly great!"
For some reason her line of questionning annoyed him. "Since when are you such an expert on this Quinn?"
She shot him a hurt look but refused to bite the bait. "I'm not an expert Sam. I've screwed up so many times I can't bear to think about it. But there comes a time when you do have to think about. Sometimes somebody comes along in your life and they make you reassess everything that you think you are and everything that you think you want. They make you look deep inside for the answers." Sam watched her facial expression change and become more thoughtful, as if she were now talking to herself rather than him. "And the hardest part" she continued " is accepting the answers when you finally reach them. Especially when the answers weren't the ones that you're expecting."
"Is this about you and Joe?"
She suddenly snapped out of her thoughtful demeanor and returned to glaring at him, looking far more upset that Sam thought she should for what he had just said. "This has nothing to do with me and Joe. I'm trying to help you Sam but right now I'm not even sure why I'm bothering!"
And then she became the third person in a few minutes to turn and walk away from him.
Nashville, Tennessee
Sam's heart beat faster when he saw the name next to the message which had just arrived on his phone. He paused for a few moments before hitting the envelope icon.
Just heard about your grandpa and wanted to say that despite everything I'm thinking of you and praying for your family. M x
Word must have got out at school. It was only logical really. He had been missing for two days now. But he did also like to think that she had noticed and asked about his sudden absence and wondered where he was.
Sam stared hard at the message for a few moments before placing the phone on the hotel bed and looping the knot into his black tie. It had been more than a month since they had last spoken. A month since the episode in the janitor's closet, a month since she had refused his chocolates and a month since the scathing words from Shane and Quinn. Not once had she looked his way with a smile in her eyes or giggled in his presence. And it had been torture. He wanted to talk to her to break the tension but he had no idea what to say. It was even worse than when he had been in Kentucky. At least there he didn't have to see her every day. But in Lima he did. He had to watch her confiding in Quinn, jamming with Kurt and worst of all, chatting with Shane. He knew that she and Shane were no more than friends but since the threats, seeing Shane made him uncomfortable. And of course, there was always the worry that the big guy's friendship with Mercedes could turn back into something more.
But for Mercedes herself, he still couldn't quite understand what was going through her mind. Her behavior was an act of betrayal. Sure she had cheated but most of the blame of that fell on him and not her. Besides, when her relationship was officially over, he had offered her what she wanted and she had not only thrown it back in his face, she had insulted him with it! How was he not likeable? Everybody else seemed to like him. Hell, he'd even finally stopped being slushied for being on the swim team!
And the worst part was the way that she looked at him. It wasn't even a look of hate. That he could understand. That he could work with. No, she looked at him with sadness in her eyes and it hurt like hell because he truly did not understand why. What had he done that was so wrong? Why did he not deserve another chance to fix whatever it was that he had done?
There was a tap at the door and his dad's head popped round. "Are you ready? The cars are here!"
"Sure, Just give me a moment to finish up."
"Okay, I'll see you downstairs."
Sam took a deep breath and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He actually looked pretty smart with his hair smoothed down and the black suit and tie. Shame it couldn't be for a happier occasion.
He picked up the phone and unlocked the screen so that he could re-read the message from Mercedes which was still open. He touched the screen lightly over the words and took comfort from them. He knew she wasn't expecting a reply. They didn't communicate at all other than in acknowledgement of each other's presence, and that was only when others were around to prevent things from becoming too awkward. She didn't need to send him this. Nobody else had said anything or bothered to contact him. But everything about that message had Mercedes stamped all over it. That was simply one of the things that was amazing about Mercedes. Her selflesness.
Not wanting to think about it too hard he quickly locked his phone, shoving it into his inside pocket before he ran down to join the rest of his family.
The ride was slow and church pew was hard and uncomfortable. Sam couldn't help but notice that he had been sitting in the exact same spot just a few short months earlier. He knew it was the exact same spot because some poor bored person had scratched something into the back of the pew in front. How on earth they would have got away with doing that considering it was only the second pew from the front confused him. But then it didn't really take much to confuse him these days.
He looked around and noticed that not only was he in the same seat, but it was mostly the same crowd as last time. Mostly again in the same seats and mostly again in the same outfits. He tugged at his tie slightly. He couldn't really judge them on that one. He was wearing exactly the same suit and tie himself. He sighed and looked past Stacy and Stevie to his father. This was hard on him. To lose both parents within a few short months had really taken its toll. Especially with all the other turmoil that their family was already going through during that time. He watched as his dad clutched tightly onto his mom's hand and leaned slightly into her, absorbing all of the comfort that she was radiating out to him. His dad had been through so much and his mom had been there right at his side through all of it. The things that should have divided them had only made them stronger. And that's why they were back here again so soon. The last time they had made the trip to Nashville it was from their temporary home in Kentucky. Samuel D Evans had been sickly for several years, but it had been his wife and carer Marcy who had died peacefully of a stroke in her sleep at the during of the fall.
Nobody would admit it aloud but that was the day her husband died too. Or rather, the day that he gave up on life. If she wasn't in the world, then he didn't want to be in it either. He and Marcy had been together since they were fifteen, married since they were eighteen. After her death he had moved in with his eldest son, Sam's uncle Ned so that they could look after him but it was already too late. He hardly ate and he hardly spoke. All he did was pine. All he wanted was to be with his wife.
Sam watched as his favorite uncle Ned made his way to the front to say a few words. He was shorted than his dad with far more gray hair but the same piercing eyes. He watched the older man pause for a moment, collecting his thoughts and composing himself before beginning to speak. "There are love stories and there are great love stories." Sam noticed that he didn't even have any notes. He was speaking purely from the heart. "And everybody sitting here today knows that when it comes to my dad, his was one of the greatest ever. He lived for my mother. I'm sad to lose him, but in a way I'm not because I know that if he was sitting watching this today, he would be telling us to quit our foolishness and be happy for him. His last words to me were said with a smile." He smiled softly, clearly replaying the momory as he spoke. "Just before he closed his eyes he looked the happiest I'd seen him in months. He said 'Marcy looks beautiful tonight. I'm taking her dancing so don't wait up!'" Ned Evans continued to smile a watery smile as a small knowing chuckle rippled through the church. Because that is exactly the kind of thing that he would say! "My mom was everything to him and he was everything to her. A few months ago we were all here, talking about the funny things she used to say, but today I was thinking of the funny things that he used to say. I'm sure everyone here knows the three words he would say the most. Ten letters of the alphabet that made up three words which summed their relationship up perfectly. I'm sure none of you even need me to say what they are but I will anyway. It was 'Stay, My Love.'"
Sam's head began to pound and his heart began to race at those words. His mind began to flood with memories of all the times his grandpa would say that. He stared hard at his uncle who was fighting back the tears as he continued to speak. "He would say that phrase dozens of times a day. Any time ma would get up from sitting next to him he would grab her by the waist and say it, any time she left the room, even for the briefest moment he would call after her and say it. Sure she would constantly smack him or come back with some smart reply but we all knew that he meant it. And we all know that she loved it. Sixty three years they were married but they never spent even one single night apart from each other."
Ned took a deep breath and cast his eyes over the beautiful floral arrangements decorating the church. "Even now I can still hear the old man's voice. If he was here he would be pointing out all the flowers and telling us how ma would have a fit if she saw how much money we had wasted on those. 'What's the use of buying flowers?' she would say. 'It's not like you can eat flowers!' But then that didn't stop dad from buying her flowers every Friday without fail from the moment they started courting. And after she passed, those flowers stayed in a vase by his bedside, changed weekly, like a shrine to her."
For some reason, Sam was gripped to every word. Something inside him had been triggered but he didn't know what. He loved his grandpa. He remembered sitting on his knee as a child listening to his stories. Even then he could tell how the old man was lost when his wife wasn't in the room. He couldn't begin to imagine what it must have been like when she was no longer there at all!
He watched as his uncle Ned removed his glasses and wiped his eye before replacing them. "Grandpa always said one thing about the Evans men and it held true. We are fools of love. We fall young, we fall hard and we love with every ounce of our beings. Dad proved it to true as did his father before him. I'm proving it now with my amazing wife Anna who has helped me more than words can express through this dark time-" His words choked slightly and everyone in the church held their breath for him. He looked over at Anna and they locked eyes. Everyone could clearly see that the look they shared gave him the strength to continue. "Our family has been through so much this year. Same applies for my brother Dwight and his family. But again, he's had Mary standing by his side every step of the way." Sam turned his gaze to his parents who clutched at each other tighter even though neither of them turned their attention away from Ned's speech. "Evans men do love hard, but it's the women in our lives who continue to make us strong. Dad taught us well. He told us that it's not enough just to love someone. You have to put them and their feelings first. 'Love is not selfish and love does not know fear'. I never understood that until I met Anna. Dwight never understood that until he met Mary. And one day our sons will understand it too when they grow up."
Sam thought about that statement. Did he understand it? Had he grown up yet?
The rest of the ceremony passed in a blur. As the crowds dispersed from the freshly covered grave, Sam stood a little longer, staring in the words spelled out in purple flowers that were laid so that they overlapped both headstones that sat next to each other. 'Stay, my love'.
Together again at last.
As he stood, he felt a heaviness in his chest. Like similar to the grief that he had been experiencing all day and yet also slightly different. He'd felt this feeling before but couldn't remember when. Why couldn't he remember when?
His thoughts were interrupted by the sensation of an arm wrapping around his shoulder. He didn't need to look up to know that it was his mom. She gently pulled him away. "Come on Sam, we'll come back here before we leave for Lima tomorrow so you can say your goodbyes in private."
Sam smiled up at her gratefully. There was so much swirling through his mind right now and he wished more than anything that his grandpa was here to talk him through it. At the moment it was all a huge swirling mass that was impossible to pick apart but somehow he knew that it was important for him to do it.
Because until he did, somehow he was missing something important.
As he had been doing all day, he reached into his pocket to touch his phone, knowing that Mercedes' message was still open on the screen before allowing his mom to lead him away.
Wow. I have total respect for drama writers. Because all I want to do is sit and cry and eat chocolate after this! Smut is so much easier than drama!
