Urgg...How did I do this? Another chapter on one day? There must be some sort of time warp here. But I guess my only excuse is that I just kept going straight on with this one. It's a little shorter than the last chapter and I know it's kinda drawn out. Yes, they're still at Holzoff's. But they really are leaving soon, I swear! I just found out exactly how much more I'm going to need to do for this story if I'm going to follow it to the end of the game (which I probably will) But I'm only on disc two of the game? O.o Impossible! lol But true. So yeah. Uh, a little more angst as Vincent's gonna reveal some of his worries plus a lil' bit of fluffiness. Not much. Just a tiny bit. But I have no excuse for that. It just happened. I wrote it before noticing what I'd written. O.o But that's just how I work. Anyway, enough of my yapping, chapter 7! Hope it's not too crappy. I know I did it extremely fast.

Chapter 7: Confessions

A rogue wind blew the drifting snow into Cid's face as he watched Vincent wandering away. He stood firm as the other man returned, the flakes remaining on his wind-chilled cheeks. It amazed him at how the whiteness of the snow almost blended perfectly into that smooth, pale skin. Almost as if Vincent was as pure as the snow, yet tainted by something only he could see.

"Cid, you look worried."

Vincent's voice was clear, unflawed as silk. It pained him to hear the steady front the man was forcing into his speech when it was so easy to see every emotion flowing through those crimson eyes. He gathered his words then spoke carefully, unsure of every word as they passed his lips. "Vincent, can you blame me? You—you've been actin' so strange lately while the others just go on like nothin' happened. And as far as I can tell, nothin' has happened. With th' one exception that is." He lowered his blue eyes away from the gunner.

Vincent turned his back on Cid. "No, I suppose I can't blame you," he whispered quietly.

The pilot almost cringed at the sheer intensity he felt in that one sentence. "You wanted t' talk t' me about something." Desperate to avoid causing a breakdown in Vincent, he changed the subject. His eyes were still downcast and he didn't notice Vincent had leaned against the house wall beside him.

The gunman closed his eyes and sighed again, a small cloud rising before his flushed face. Wait, though Cid, when did that happen? A few minutes before he was as pale as always.

Vincent took note of Cid's confused look and nodded his head. "Yes, I did. Like I said, I just feel that we need to get a few things out of our system. Or at least…I do." He was giving off the impression that he didn't want to do as he said, but he continued nevertheless. Glancing at Cid, he allowed the pilot a brief glimpse at the pain settled there. "You wanted to know the truth."

"Huh?" Cid was startled by the man's statement and tried to place what he was speaking of.

"Earlier, in the house. You asked me what was bothering me."

Now Cid was thoroughly confused. "But didn't you answer me? You said that—"

"I know what I said." Vincent's sharp whisper sent chills down Cid's back. Had something had been hidden in what he had said back then? Had he completely missed a point the gunner was trying to show him? Or had he intended not to let the pilot know what he was thinking? Maybe that decision had changed. "I told you the truth, but not the entirety. I am afraid of Sephiroth, but not because he has the power to destroy us. No. I fear him because…because of my past with him."

A breath rolled out of the pilot. "So, that's it? Damn, Vince, that's not something t' get so worked up over. We've all had our pasts with Sephiroth or else we wouldn't be here." He smiled softly at the gunman, receiving only a cold stare. "Vince, what—I don't get what you're tryin' t' say. Help me out here." A slight unease was beginning to fill him.

"I—I think I had a relationship with Sephiroth." Cid's eyes grew wide but he allowed Vincent to continue uninterrupted. "It was after I was…expelled from the Turks." He spat the name of the group out forcefully. "It's actually the Turks' fault when I think of it. If I hadn't been with them I wouldn't have been associated with Shinra, Hojo, or…Sephiroth."

Cid drew it all in quietly. "That's right. I forgot you were a Turk once." He whispered the realization lowly, not really intending for Vincent to hear him.

The ebony-haired man nodded. So he had heard. "But no. I'm wrong. It has nothing to do with the fault of the Turks. I was the one to join them." Brushing his snow-laden hair back, he slid down the wall until he sat on the frozen ground, his cloak the only cushion between him and the ice. "I was the one who willingly threw himself to Hojo." He buried his head in his arms.

He's beginning to act like his old, self-loathing self again. For some reason, I don't see that as a good thing. Cid shook his head and kneeled before the anguished man. "Vince, I wanna help you and, dammit, I'm tryin'. But you have t' let me. What do you mean by a 'relationship with Sephiroth'?"

Vincent looked up and Cid was astonished to see sparkling tears on his cheeks. "I think I loved him," he whispered harshly. "Both mentally and physically. All I really know is that it was before Hojo had started experimenting with me." He wiped his right hand across his face. "Actually, I'm not even sure that it happened. There are just…memories." Dipping his head behind his arms again, he stared silently at the snow between them.

"M—memories?" The information he'd just heard stunned Cid immensely, but he still managed to make a connection of sorts. "The dream…that dream back on th' mountain, that's when you saw th' memories, wasn't it?" It was the only explanation since that was when the man had started acting odd. "Wha—wait a second. Before Hojo started th' experiments? But that was…that means that Sephiroth wasn't even…this makes no sense."

The only reply from Vincent was a sharp nod. He didn't want to hurt the gunner any more, but he also knew he had to help get to the bottom of this. "All right. So say by some freak chance it did happen. Do you love him now?"

Startled, Vincent's head shot up, his crimson eyes full of surprise. "Do I—no. I don't." He smiled a little at the sudden insight. "I don't. But what does that have to do—"

"It means you don't love him, simple as that. You may fall out of love with someone, but there's always a feeling in th' back of your mind reminding you that you did at one time. So maybe if you aren't feeling that, it didn't happen. At least…it sounds right." Cid crossed his arms and watched the gunman carefully. "So what are you plannin' to do now?"

Vincent sighed, his smile fading. "The only thing I can do. I have to speak with Sephiroth and find out the truth of what happened back then in the Shinra Mansion." He glanced away from Cid and wrapped his cloak tighter around him. "I just don't know if I can."

Reaching out, Cid wiped another tear away before it could reach Vincent's chin. "Hey Vince. Just don't forget that I'm here t' help, 'kay? Always remember that." Shaking away a sudden urge to embrace the man, he leaned forward. "So, you're not alone in this, got it?"

Vincent smiled again, a little longer this time. "Yeah, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks."

"For what?"

"For being here for me." Vincent looked up into Cid's eyes and suddenly became aware of the tiniest blush spreading across the blonde's cheeks. "Cid? Are you all right?"

"I-I'm fine." He turned his head quickly breaking his eye contact with Vincent. "It's just…I thought I heard Cloud calling us. Yeah, that's it." He started to rise, but Vincent's touch made him stop. He looked down at the pale hand grasping his wrist.

"Cid, I want to repay you for what you did today. So, if there's anything you need to speak of, do it now while you still have a chance." He removed his hand slowly, his face full of sincerity.

God, he means it. He really wants me to tell him what's running through my mind right now? He really wants to know what I'm feeling. But…I don't think I—

"Cid?"

Vincent's voice was all he needed. Cid felt his resolve crumble completely and he dropped to his knees as his legs gave out. The crimson eyes grew wide as the pilot pulled him into his arms, holding him close. Almost laughing at the tear that was making its way down his cheek, the blonde buried his face into Vincent's hair, ebony silk caressing him. "God Vincent, why couldn't you have just let me go?" He was fully aware of the strain in his voice, but didn't care at all. All that mattered was that he was holding Vincent.

The gunman sat still as Cid buried his face in his neck. A few wet drops landed on his smooth skin and Vincent became conscious of the fact that the man was crying. "Cid…why should I have let you leave? What are you—"

"Goddammit Vincent, don't you get it yet?" He pulled the man closer still, threading his fingers through Vincent's silky hair. "Vincent, I—shit! I don't know how to say this!" But I want to say it! I want to more than you can ever understand! I just don't know if this is right.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Vincent raised a hand to the back of the blonde head nestled on his shoulder. "Cid, I…" He fell silent unable to grasp the right words. Was Cid really trying to say what he thought he was? He felt Cid's grip relax and looked into blue eyes as Cid sat back, releasing Vincent.

He sniffed once and looked away. "Shit. I feel so stupid right now." A sad smile graced his face before he turned away. "I just, I don't know what came over me, you know?"

"No, I don't," Vincent lied when in fact he had a fairly good idea at what Cid had been about to say. Still, he wasn't going to make assumptions until he knew they were correct. The man in front of him sniffed again then caught his eyes. Blue stared into deep crimson and Cid leaned forward, placing a hand on Vincent's shoulder. "I—I'm sorry if I scared you. I didn't mean t', honestly." He started to stand when he knew only one word from Vincent would make him stay.

"Wait. You…just say it Cid. If you have something you need to get out, do it now before—" He stopped short as Cid caressed his cheek. A shiver ran through him as he felt the other man's lips press lightly against his own. But it wasn't like last time. No, this time Cid meant it.

Pulling back slightly, Cid stared into Vincent's eyes, their noses barely touching. "All right." The blonde's voice was soft, almost a whisper as he spoke. "You wanted t' know what I'm feelin'? I love you Vincent Valentine. There. I said it. I love you and I probably always have, I just didn't realize it." He let go of the pale cheek and turned away, breathing out heavily. "Any more questions?" A glimmer of sadness was breeching his blue eyes.

Vincent sat quietly, stunned into silence. "But you're not—"

"Gay? No. Or at least I didn't used t' be. I guess I am now if I love you, aren't I?" Cid laughed lightly, sweeping a hand through his short hair. "Shit, what'll the guys think when they hear this?"

Vincent suddenly caught on to another part of Cid's thoughts. "Cid, you know that I'm not…right? I mean, even if the whole thing in my dreams did…happen, that doesn't mean I am now." He said it softly, allowing time for it to sink into the other man's head. Surely Cid hadn't thought he was this whole time.

The pilot leaned back, flicking a snowflake off of his nose. "Nah, I caught on not too long after that morning'." His sad smile returned. "And I realize that this probably won't ever be anything more than one-sided. But that doesn't matter. It took me long enough to figure all this shit out and I'm not gonna just toss it away like that. Got it?" He stood quickly, snow falling from his jacket as he shook it lightly. "So that just means that I will always be there for you."

Cid's last words hung in Vincent's mind as he watched the blonde pilot go. It was almost as if the pilot had just sworn to always protect him. From anything, the way he'd said it. Sighing, the gunner stared at the spot where Cid had knelt before him. Had he really been serious? "What else could he have been?" Vincent's voice echoed his thoughts as he bowed his head, wiping the collar of his cloak against his face.

He stepped from behind the building as Cloud turned the corner, running into the older man. Vincent instinctively reached out and steadied the blonde and himself at the same time. "Hey Vincent. I was just coming to get you. We're ready to go, so we'll be leaving really soon. You ready?" He seemed happy for his current health condition and Vincent decided not to question him.

Nodding once, he straightened his cloak. "Yes. I'll be ready in a moment." He patted the boy on the shoulder and watched as he ran back to the group, most likely to announce that they were leaving. Bowing his head again, he smiled softly. Maybe it had been a good idea to talk to Cid. He had doubted it when the conversation had started, but it seemed as though a huge weight had been lifted from his soul. Even if that new development had appeared.

Yuffie looked over to where Vincent was pulling out his lariat and started placing materia carefully. "He seems better," she said absentmindedly. "Wonder what snapped him out of that…well, whatever that was he was in. When he was acting all weird." She whirled around and stood on her tiptoes, straining to look Cid in the eyes. "What'd you do to him?"

Cid raised an eyebrow at the girl. "What'd I do t' him? What's that supposed t' mean?"

Tifa had heard Yuffie's question and had been wondering the same thing. Especially with whatever had happened between the two in Snowy Village. "Yeah, Cid, what did you do to him?"

"Huh?" Cid backed up, the two girls in front of him advancing menacingly. "I didn't do nothin'! Why the hell're you lookin' at me like that?" He felt a fence post behind him and vaulted himself over the wooden post easily, laughing as Tifa and Yuffie climbed under it. "I'm tellin' you girls, I'm innocent!" He ran past Vincent, grinning a little at the sight of the shadowy smile on his pale lips.

Somehow things just seemed…better. At least that's how Vincent saw it. Like things were turning around. Maybe this friendship thing wasn't so bad after all.

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"All right. You've got your ropes, hooks, picks? Good, good. Now I have two points for you. Watch out in the caves. A lot of nasty creatures live up there. And always be sure to keep your temperatures up, okay? Stop every once in a while to warm up. The quickest way to die up there is to freeze to death. So you got that? Great." Holzoff pushed a small bag into Cloud's hands. Here, this'll help when ever one of you gets injured badly. It's a mix of potions, ethers and—"

"Hey!" Cid jumped forward, grabbing the man's hand. "What th' hell do you mean by 'when one of you gets injured'? That makes it sound like it's damned near impossible t' make this climb without losing a damn limb or something." He busied himself with patting his arms, then his legs. "If you don't mind, I wish t' keep all parts of my body intact as long as damn near possible."

Holzoff laughed at Cid's image. "No, there's a good possibility that you could all get out of there unscathed. That is, as long as you work together and don't screw up too horribly bad." He motioned toward the others. "But what about them? Aren't they all going too?"

Cloud nodded. "Yeah, but not right now. We were going to go first, lay out the trail, that sort of thing." Glancing around he signaled for them to leave. "Thanks Holzoff! They won't be here for too long, but maybe you can get them to help. The little girl's quite good at getting hard to reach things." He grinned as Yuffie shouted something indecipherable at him. "Ready guys?"

Cid looked from Cloud to Vincent. "I think so. What do you think, Vince? We ready?"

"Yeah." Vincent agreed quickly, ready to move away from the threatening cries of Yuffie. He didn't want to be around if she did intend to do as she said and use a rock to smash his…Vincent winced at the thought of the pain such an action would bring. No man deserved that. Well, maybe it would be fun to see Rufus in that pain. Vincent chuckled softly. He was beginning to pick up on Cid's twisted sense of humor apparently.

"Okay, good deal. So we're off!" Cloud waved momentarily to the group before turning to face his two teammates. "Ready?"

Cid covered his face with a gloved hand. "You already asked that, kid. And for the second time, yeah we're ready t' get th' hell outta here. So are we goin' or not?" He lightly smacked his own leg. "I'm already gettin' cold here."

"All right! All right! We're going! Just keep Holzoff's tip in mind about keeping warm, okay?" He turned and grinned at the other blonde. "I don't want to have to use your frozen body as a sled to get down the other side."

The pilot smirked at Cloud. "Wow, what a friend. But I remember dragging your spiky ass t' this very spot, so take that." He hooked an arm around Cloud's neck and ruffled the blonde hair hanging in Cloud's face.

Vincent watched, slightly amused as the two started a round of fake fighting. Shaking his head as he allowed a small smile to creep onto his face, he followed the two. They almost made Vincent think of two brothers, so far from agreeing, yet so close. Surprised at the light laugh that spilled from his lips, he hurried to catch up with them, his crimson eyes dancing in the fading light.

Yes, Vincent was definitely beginning to enjoy this friendship deal. Perhaps they could even help him find a way to overcome his sins and rise past them. He shook his head, unable to believe what he'd just thought. That wasn't the normal Vincent. But then again, people could change, couldn't they?


Ahhh...:goes off to die in a corner: I'm really not cut out for romance stuff. As is obvious from above chapter. Again, not really sure why it's there other than it just happened that way. I sincerely apologize if it was entirely off-track from the story. I didn't mean for it to be.

But I couldn't resist giving Vincent a little taste of twisted humor. I'm guessing I didn't need to put exactly what Yuffie's threat was. lol But now I'm a little screwed up in the head. Writing that part between Cid an' Vincent almost ruined one of my favorite songs. I was listening to Gackt's Freesia when I wrote it and now every time I hear it I think of those two. Oh well. I'll survive. But hope it was still good. I swear it's going to get more on-track soon.

As always, reviews and suggestions welcome.