A/N: Last chapter, and first completed multichapter fic. I feel so accomplished! Thank you to everyone who read this; I might play around more in this universe in the future (maybe something with Rocket and Batgirl... maybe even something with a plot and/or dialogue...) but this is it for now. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I liked writing it.
Miss Martian has no regrets. She knows that she's a monster, knows that she's proving all the worst stereotypes of White Martians, knows that even her allies are afraid of her now, but she doesn't care. (She isn't allowed to care. She chose this path; she knew the consequences when she started). She doesn't regret her actions, even if Wally is so broken there's nothing left to fix, even if Uncle J'onn won't look her in the eye.
Back on Mars she was less than nobody. She was a freak, a monster, the White Martian who thought she was good enough to play with the Green Martians, the weirdo who wouldn't shut up about her uncle on Earth, the warrior who shouldn't be allowed around civilized people, who shouldn't even exist. When she tried to be a hero, when she played human, she was the girl who didn't understand anything, the telepath who always messed up, the newbie who didn't even know how to use her powers right. She tried to fit in in school, and she had friends, but she was never really one of them, and she always had to be on alert in case she messed up, broke some unspoken rule she didn't know about, acted like the alien freak that she was. She had to be careful - don't shapeshift, don't mention telepathy, be sure to gradually alter your appearance, because humans age so fast and you're in High School, you can't look fifteen forever. Her whole life was masks: M'gann the cheery Green Martian immigrant, Megan the ordinary cheerleader, Miss Martian the hero-in-training. She had too many secrets, and she had to keep up a cheery façade or everything would fall apart, everyone would hate her; it would be Mars all over again.
When Queen Bee started blackmailing her it was just one more secret, one more lie to add to the collage of deception that was M'gann M'orzz (Megan Morse. Miss Martian.). When she started training her, in ways her uncle couldn't or wouldn't (nothing too bad at first, just alter a few memories, erase some information; they're henchmen, they signed up for this) it was almost a relief. It was a way to release some stress, stop hiding for once (they didn't care that she wasn't Green, and if she was going to be the villain she might as well look the part), practice the things she didn't dare try in front of her teammates or the League. She wasn't sure when it became the highlight of her week, but by the time she started to worry about how much she was enjoying this obvious, unjustifiable villainy (by then she'd progressed to targeting Queen Bee's political rivals and the dissidents immune to her charms. She'd shapeshift into an interrogator and snatch information from their minds, leaving them comatose and broken) she couldn't bring herself to stop.
She didn't know Roy very well before, but she didn't blame him for running off with Cheshire when the League found the Original Speedy. She knew what it was like to be a false person, to wear so many masks it was impossible to figure out who you really were. She understood the urge to stick with somebody who knew him for who he was, not a persona constructed for him by someone else. She used the way Oliver freaked out, the way the League treated somebody who hadn't even realized that his existence was a trap, to justify her actions, which were coming dangerously close to full-on betrayal. She constructed more walls, more masks, more lies, because if this was how the League treated a potential threat who hadn't even known that he wasn't loyal how would they treat her?
Queen Bee gave her increasingly important assignments. The woman didn't trust her (why should she? Megan was a hero kept in line with blackmail and threats) but at least there was no expectation of trust, and as Megan carried out the Queen's dirty work without even trying to subvert her orders the "blackmail" excuse began to wear thin (they sent her, with Artemis and Zatanna, to Biyalia to find out details of the mysterious and powerful person helping the Queen. The mission was predictably inconclusive, and she spent the entire time fighting back laughter). She knew the League would never forgive her, but as she stood at the Queen's side, disguised as an aide (the real aide was long dead, but Megan had torn enough from the woman's mind to impersonate her flawlessly) and subtly influencing the female ambassador from Qurac she found she didn't care.
She does care about her friends, no matter what the League thinks. The hardest part of her side job was keeping it a secret from the others: she wanted to laugh about the look on that man's face when he realized just what he was trapped with with Artemis, discuss political strategy with Robin, talk about her worries and fears with Connor. When Queen Bee brought her to a meeting of the Light "to meet a few people", and she realized that her friends were already there with their families, she was ecstatic. Connor and Kaldur were already firmly on the side of the Light – Superman really shouldn't have ignored his son - if he wanted Superboy to betray Cadmus and Luthor he really should have given him some incentive - and what was Aquaman thinking, keeping Kaldur's parentage from him? – and although Artemis was reluctant (nothing a little telepathy couldn't fix) the archer had decided to throw her lot in with the sister she knew cared about her over the mentor who she had seen reject a boy who had literally spent his entire life with him for something he was unaware of and couldn't control. Once she had Artemis' support secured (she had to fix the boys right after; Connor was uncomfortable with the way she used her powers, and she couldn't have that) it was easy to convince Zatanna (Fate stole her father, and they let him be one of them? If you work with Klarion, you could become powerful enough to get him back, make him pay for abandoning you. It would be so easy; don't you want to see what you're really capable of? You could be great) with only minimal psychic suggestion. The others laid all the groundwork for her to acquire Robin's cooperation: Zatanna cast a few spells to increase paranoia and resentment, while she, Artemis, and Kaldur casually worked indictments of the League into their conversations. They didn't say anything quite treasonous, but they made it clear that they didn't trust the League, and let Bat-paranoia work in their favor. After a few weeks of work, they had him half-convinced that Batman hated him, and the League was out to get them, while the other half insisted that the League were good people, he'd given his life to them. He was tormented, conflicted, and he readily accepted when Megan offered to help him work through his thoughts and memories, despite Batman's codes of secrecy. Once she was in his head, past his mental defenses, altering his loyalties to align with theirs was easy. He thanked her when she was done (making people grateful for what she did was one of the first tricks Queen Bee had insisted she learn. It made it much easier to adjust any treacherous thoughts later) and she ruthlessly squashed any trace of remorse. Robin was with them, which meant she wouldn't have to fight against her friend. That was the only part that mattered.
Wally was an accident. Artemis had slipped up, mentioned something she shouldn't have known or expressed an opinion she shouldn't have held, and he'd run for the Zeta Tubes to warn the League. M'gann had seen him run, realized she had to stop him, and reacted. She tried to fix him, but his mind was shattered and she had no idea how the pieces were supposed to fit together, and of all of them he was the one with the least darkness to work with, the fewest villainous tendencies to exploit (He was a Flash. Even his villains weren't terribly villainous). Ultimately, while Artemis gazed at the scene in horror, and the others arrived to see what had happened ("Monster" "Traitor" "How dare you") she settled for making him happy. She wrapped his mind in cotton to hide the splinters, and infused his every thought with unwavering trust and loyalty. Ignoring the others, who were in various stages of progression from shock to fear to anger, she pulled Wally aside. Speaking simply, as though he were a child, she told him not to trust the League, to act normally around his family, to always listen to her and the others no matter what. When he was gone, she confronted her teammates.
They were all angry now. Megan knew she couldn't fight all of them, and apologizing for what she had done wouldn't solve anything, so she did what she had to. Her eyes glowed, and all five of them collapsed. One by one, she went up to them, reached into their minds. "I needed to do this," she whispered. "I had no choice; Wally was a traitor, he would have betrayed us all. I had to stop him, and now he has to be loyal. Think of how useful that is. We won. This was a victory. We can all be together now. Everything I do is for this team. Never doubt me. Don't regret anything. This is how everything has to be. I am the leader, and I will protect you." It didn't matter if she was wrong, if she was lying, if she was terrified that she had made the wrong choices and knew that she could never fix her mistakes. They had to stay together; they were the first friends she'd ever had; they had to believe her!
M'gann M'orzz has no regrets. She leads her friends, and even if they aren't quite the same as they used to be they are happy, and they care about each other, and that's all that matters. So what if Zatanna resents her, and Kaldur and Conner pity her, and Robin and Artemis would hate what they've become, and Wally is too broken to notice or care? So what if Megan messes with their minds more than she should, checks to make sure that everything is still in place even when there's no sign of anything being broken, even though she knows her changes will never go away? Megan is the one who caused all this, or at least the one who sustained it. When her friends start to worry, she is the one who soothes away their fears and reassures them that everything is fine. Megan has no regrets, because if she breaks no one will be able to fix her.
