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Cammie POV:

I sat in a secret passageway with my head in my hands. I couldn't remember if I had shown it to Zach or not, everything was spinning and out of control. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. Shut up, I wanted to tell the voice in my head. I leaned back against the wall and tried to take a deep breath.

"I'm ok," I told myself quietly. But even as I said this my voice wavered and cracked. Silent tears crept down my cheeks and I closed my eyes. A minute or two later I felt someone sit next to me. My eyes snapped open to see a sorrowful Zach beside me. He said nothing and neither did I. I jumped up and walked away.

"Cam," he whispered quietly grabbing my wrist. I flipped him off not bothering to try and stop crying. Then I sprinted towards our dorm. I swung the door open and found no one was there. I locked the door behind me and slid to the ground. I sat there for a minute just crying. I couldn't feel anything. My life was out of control. I wanted to feel in charge again. I got up shakily and walked to the bathroom. I locked that door too and put a chair under it. I could faintly hear Bex, Liz, and Macey banging on the door to our suite but I ignored it. I punched the mirror hard and pieces shattered. My hand was bleeding but I was in control. I picked up a piece gingerly.

"CAM! CAMMIE!" I could hear my friends desperately yelling. I took the piece and cut a long deep gash in my left arm from my wrist to elbow. I gasped. The suite door had now been kicked down and they were working on this door. I lifted my shirt and cut another long deep cut. This time I fell to the ground. I was losing blood.

"Cammie! Cammie please!" Liz was wailing. I made another cut blocking them out. I closed my eyes. I felt so weak. The door burst open and Bex, Liz, and Macey gasped. Bex scopped me up and Macey took the glass from my hand.

"NO!" I screamed. It wasn't very loud and I felt so tired. Liz was on her knees crying and Macey was hugging her. Bex was sprinting with me to the infirmary.

"Come on, Cam. Don't close your eyes," Bex said. Her voice was wavering. We were almost there.

"I'm…so…tired," I breathed.

"Don't be stupid, Cam. Come on," Bex said now sniffling. We reached the infirmary just as everything went black.

I woke up to a beeping sound. I blinked sleepily and yawned. I looked around and saw Macey, Bex and Liz crashed in the room. The infirmary room? Oh…now I remember. It was 4:32 am and Macey shot up. She noticed me awake and sighed in relief. She sat beside my hospital bed. Her eyes were watery and she shook her head.

"It's not worth it Cam, do you hear me? It's never worth it," she said gripping my frail hand. I nodded and yawned.

"I'm sorry Macey," I said. Then I cuddled up, still holding her hand and went back to sleep. When I woke up again the girls were gone but replaced with a note and boxes of chocolate. The note said they had to go to class but they hoped I would feel better. The nurse came in and told me I could leave this afternoon but I had to take this medicine and one of my friends had to be with me at all times. I was given extra gauze in addition to what was already wrapped around my stomach and arm. I quickly hurried back to my room trying to avoid everyone, but unfortunately I ran into the person I least wanted to see right now. Zach. I literally ran into him and he caught me, stabling me. His eyes went wide as he realized it was me. I felt too weak to try and break away and hoped he would let me go soon.

"Is it true?" He asked holding me out in front of him. His voice was quiet in the abandoned hall we were in. His eyes found the gauze wrapped around my arm and his hands felt my wrapped up belly under my shirt. I looked down.

"Cammie," he persisted taking my chin and forcing me to look at him, "did you…cut yourself?" His emerald eyes searched my blue ones for an answer. My eyes filled with tears and I nodded.

"Oh, Cammie," he whispered horrified. He sat down and pulled me into his lap. I didn't resist, just buried my head in his shoulder and cried. Zach held me tight looking down on me worried.

"Why Cam? Why would you ever do that?" he asked softly.

"I," I started with a sob, "I thought I wasn't good enough. For you, or-or for Macey, or Bex, or-" Zach cut me off.

"Don't ever think that Cammie," he whispered. His voice cracked. "Don't you ever think that again." I nodded but kept crying and Zach just held me tight.

"I'm sorry Cam. Gallagher Girl, I just wanted to keep you safe. I wanted you to forget about me and be safe from any ties to the circle. I wanted you to move on and be happy and-" Zach started but I looked up at him and smiled.

"Just kiss me already, will you?" I said. Zach smirked and leaned down. Then we kissed.

So that was a little sad but the rest of the chapters won't be this sad. Sorry I guess I'm in a depressed kinda mood :P