Author's Note: If you haven't figured it out yet, there's been a title change. It's a song by Ingrid Michaelson - and kind of related to the story, so I thought, why not? Anyways, a couple of people have been asking when Itachi's going to appear & in all honesty, not anytime soon. Most likely around the fourteenth/fifteenth chapter - but that's only after I get things all sorted out. So really, it could be earlier, could be later. But regardless of that, thanks to all those who reviewed. It means a lot to a writer.


The storm is coming, but I don't mind.
People are dying, I close my blinds.
..
All that I know is I'm breathing.
All I can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing.
Now.

- Ingrid Michaelson, 'Keep Breathing'.


There were two ways to break a person. One was dealing with physical pain - the stress on the body - and the other was emotional pain - which was stress on the mind. Usually, one concept was enough to drive somebody crazy, but Ibiki found it more suitable if he used both. Sometimes he used them both simultaneously, or for certain days, he would focus solely on one concept, and the next he would use the other.

Arisa had realized throughout the hours, and days, that Morino Ibiki was a relatively creative person. Whether it was a newly developed weapon, or a new level of electricity, he was never predictable. Not as much as she would've thought, anyway.

But she knew that the whole idea of 'crushing one's state of mind' all came down to theories. Hypothesises, experimentation which was basically clawing through the darkness to see which she would react most to. Did she have family problems? Was she proud of whatever it was she did for a living? What was Zabuza and Haku to her? Where was she when Team 7 met them? Why wasn't she there to help defend them? Weren't they important to her?

Ibiki tried almost everything to get an emotional breakdown from her - whether it would be rage, hatred, sadness, or fear. But her face had remained stoic - staring right back at him with such eyes that he wasn't sure whether or not he was talking to a teenager, or a corpse.

'Does it hurt?' He would ask her, when a kunai was stabbed into her thigh, and as she let out a hiss, 'How much?'

And just to aggravate him, she would reply in that quiet, almost innocent voice, 'Not at all, Ibiki-san.' because Arisa was messing with him too.

She had seen the way he first commented on how young she was - only fifteen, but he didn't know that. You see, Konoha-nin weren't properly raised to be guiltless. How could they, when the academy was putting them into teams, and informing them of 'teamwork' instead of stealth? Of course it was only natural they would feel the need to look out for each other, which left only themselves to blame if their comrade died.

So despite Arisa's desire to scream, and call Ibiki a fucking asshole who should burn in hell, she restrained it, resorting to polite suffixes, and sometimes even encouragement. It was getting to him, slowly but surely, because like all Konoha-nins, he didn't want to kill a defenseless person, never mind teenage girl - assassin or not. Maybe he even had morals for a fair, clean fight. But you could never know with that impassive facade of his.

Slam.

Arisa tilted her head upwards, once again meeting Ibiki in the eye. "Back again so soon, Ibiki-san?" He glared down at her.

"I brought you something." He responded with a slight sneer. Arisa had figured from the box he was carrying in his hand.

"Another present?" She inquired softly, as she stood up routinely. He didn't look at her.

"Do you like needles, Kaori?"

Ah yes, Ibiki was becoming desperate enough to start guessing commonly feared things. The hospital and needles, places where shinobi should stay as far away as they can. Arisa gazed blankly as he opened the container to reveal various needles of all sizes, filled with a strange clear substance within them. A shiver ran down her spine. Not necessarily for the needles, but of what sort of inventive drug Ibiki had created.

"That's unlike you to take things that are needed by others." She finally responded calmly, as she watched him prepare the syringes. He, as usual, ignored her comments.

"Which one would you like to start with first?" Eerie silence, as Ibiki grasped the longest one. "Perhaps this one?"

What the hell is that going to do to me? She wanted to ask, but decided against it. Instead she replied with another, unneeded comment.

"Since when do I get a choice?" It sounded bitter, and Ibiki examined her closely.

Reaction?

Reaction?

No, no reaction.

Arisa felt herself grow anxious - she wanted him to inject the drugs in her system already and get it over with, so she could have enough time to let it wear out. According to her plan, he would slowly start to crack under the guilt and frustration, and at his most weakest, she would escape.

"Ibiki-san, what's inside of that?" Her curiosity was getting the better of her, as she continued absentmindedly, "It's translucent - like water, but I highly doubt that it is."

He smirked, and she noted how eerie he looked. Those bags underneath his eyes suited him, in a way.

"I had it invented just for you. Do you know of the Aburame clan?" Arisa thought about it for a moment.

"Yes. They have some sort of connection with insects, correct?" She racked her mind, trying to recall whatever information she knew about them from past opponents. "They have special breed of insects, and benefit from one another. Rather strange.."

Ibiki was looking a syringe in his hand again, examining the amount of fluid in it.

"They were nice enough to provide this to you." He approached her standing figure, gesturing to the needle almost kindly. Like it was going to help her. "It's a little concoction that will allow you to feel as they do. Can you imagine it already? That sensation of hundreds and hundreds of bugs, underneath your skin. They'll be all sorts of varieties. Some will be slimy, like they're sticking underneath your skin, while others will be sharp, their legs containing all sorts of edges to be experimented on your muscles. It'll be as if little acupuncture needles have been embedded deep into your skin, and dragged up and up, twisting and turning.." His dark eyes glimmered, letting the sentence linger for her to absorb.

Arisa stiffened, her thoughts already setting off with hundreds of daydreams while the anxiety seeped in. She recalled having battled against an opponent from the Aburame clan before, and remembered those insects eating up her chakra and how uncomfortable it was. In order to get them out - she had to poison herself - which was almost the death of her had it not been for Haku. But at least Tetsuo's mission had been completed in the end.

"Now hold still." Ibiki hung the rope between her wrists on a hook, and slowly hovered the needle to her arms. Arisa hated how he was reprimanding her for things she didn't have control of.

Arisa was wrong to think that he would inject the drug slowly. As done before - it was jabbed painfully into her flesh, like a dart would have been against a board. At that moment, the sickening sensation of tiny bumps moving up her arm was just so abnormal and appalling she forgot her calm facade, and reacted violently, making the needle protrude in her arm even more deeper than before. Hisses were escaping her mouth like a snake, as she felt her paranoia rise. She was struggling, wrenching her body around as a desperate attempt to remove the needle from her body with such aggression her arm had collided with Ibiki's hand, allowing the needle to be ripped out and clatter to the floor.

She felt her teeth grind against each other, and her eyes shut tightly as her inner turmoil screamed deafeningly into her ears.

They were crawling everywhere - 'they' being the clear substance and not bugs, but her common sense flew out the window as she felt the need to rip her own arm off in order to stop 'them' from advancing further up her arm.

Every tiny leg, every twitch - Arisa wished she didn't have such accurate senses as countless questions ran through her mind.

Were they biting into her skin?

Were they drinking her blood?

What kind of insects were inside, ripping her muscle tissues apart? Spiders? Beatles?

A whimper escaped her lips, so quiet it was barely audible. But he had heard it, and that was enough. Weakness, was what it said, she's breaking. Arisa didn't want to open her eyes, all she really wanted right then and there was for them to be gone. Gone as in, out of her system. As in out, out, out!

But Oshiro Arisa was not afraid of insects. How could she be, after dealing with things much, much worse? But that feeling..it was just so traumatizing - even minutes after it ended she would not open her eyes. There were still slight tingles of where those things had been up and down her arm.

"There, there." Ibiki's voice suddenly had a new tone of confidence in it, making her inwardly cringe. "That wasn't so bad, now was it? It was just a sample - a mere taste of whether or not it would work. The other ones last up to hours."

No! No more!Arisa still didn't open her eyes. But then that voice started talking again, quickly soothing her frazzled nerves and emotions.

Get a hold of yourself. It said condescendingly, almost as if it were disgusted with her. An assassin, afraid of insects crawling under her skin? Priceless, they're not even actual bugs.

But hell, did it feel like the real thing..

You were so close, he was starting to lose his touch, he was going to snap, and then you go and ruin it all! The voice was right, as usual. She did ruin her own scheme, but recently, Arisa realized that she ruined a lot of things. Now stop with this nonsense. Remember what you are. Remember that once you truly break, you die. As in, lifeless - as in failure, as in another corpse that's going to rot.

Her eyes snapped open. There was no way she was going to be humiliated by dying at the hands of a Konoha shinobi. No fucking way.

This is nothing. She thought suddenly, ignoring the after-tremors of her arm. It's only traumatizing the first few times you experience it. But eventually, like the Aubrame clan, you adjust. I can adjust to it, now that I know what to expect. Yes--this is nothing.

"Ibiki-san." He looked stunned, upon seeing that odd smile on her lips. "Can I choose the.."

Her eyes trailed downwards slightly, focusing on the crimson liquid spilling from his fingers. "..next needle?"

He's bleeding. She thought. Doesn't he know he's bleeding?

"I think you'll like this one, Kaori." Her eyes ripped away from the way the blood trailed down the tips of his fingers. "Lasts for an hour and a half. You get the feeling of slugs, worms, and those sorts of insects crawling through your muscles and skin. It'll feel as if they're trying to get out, through your throat."

Arisa forced her head to nod. In the dim of the candle light, he looked malicious, as if he enjoyed watching her suffer. "But maybe I can shorten it. You answer a couple of questions, and perhaps you'll never have to experience this kind of thing ever again. What were you doing in Konoha?"

No response, her eyes were glued on his hands, firmly holding another syringe in them. "Very well, we will continue. But I have a feeling you'll speak soon enough." Her eyes widened slightly as his hand moved closer to her other arm, before feeling the stinging pain of the needle penetrating her skin..

But the wiggling, and disgusting feeling of slim in her bloodstream was not what made her rigid. She hardly paid attention to that. No, instead all that seemed to be running through her mind was that crimson liquid he had unintentionally smudged on her arm. It was his blood, not hers. She didn't want that fucking blood on her, because whenever the slightest bit of it was the screaming commenced..

Please, don't make me do this. Never again..

Truce! You promised..

I'm sorry.

Too late now, you bitch.

I..I need this.

YOU FUCKING BITCH!

More than you know..

No, no, no! Not now, not in front of the likes of Ibiki. Arisa didn't want to listen to them, she didn't want any of it. Not now, not ever.

But that blood.. it was everywhere. On her arms and legs, soaking her clothes in dark, thick liquid, and she was..

She was drowning in it.

I'm sorry.

I should've known - nothing more, nothing less - that's your motto, isn't it?

--and it tainted her skin, her eyes, even the skin beneath her fingernails..--

Red, it was everywhere. That smell...

It was even in her mouth.

Arisa wanted it all off. It was disgusting, appalling - she even hated the color. It made her head hurt, as if her brain was growing too large, and her skull too small. But this was what always happened when her thoughts were going off at an alarming speed, desperately trying to suppress and forget. She didn't want to understand what the whole mess of screaming was about. She didn't want to comprehend it. Oh but she was. Understanding, comprehending, understanding..

Don't think about it. Don't think about it.

But it was driving her insane. His blood, was on her. She didn't want anyone's blood, never, ever.. Just her own was fine. But it was on her arm, still fresh and warm. Then it would go dry, and turn dark brown. Like the blood that coated her clothes and her hands..

Oh god, it was on her hands.

YOU FUCKING BITCH!

Don't think about it. Don't think about it.

That noise - those screams.. this smell. That feeling..

Kill. Kill. KILL!

But..

Don't think about it. Don't think about it.

Why did it have to get all over her?

I WANT MY BLOOD. NOBODY ELSES, JUST MINE, MINE, MINE! Shut up, just shut the fuck up! Arisa hadn't remembered this part before.

It's okay, everyone.. I'm sorry.

See you soon.

YOU FUCKING BITCH! It wasn't making sense - none of it was. Stop the screaming, just stop it..

But it wouldn't stop. It had a firm grip on her, and wasn't about to let go anytime soon. These were rare chances, and demons don't pass up opportunity.

So Arisa did the only thing she could to stop everything. She pushed her stiff head forward, as far as she possibly could without being restrained, and glared into those dark orbs of Morino Ibiki, a menacing glint so bold and dead that even someone like him grew anxious. Her mouth then parted open, taking in all the unclean air her lungs could muster, before preparing herself for the impact.

Ibiki's face held the strangest expression as she closed her mouth, and unexpectedly swung her head back against that concrete wall with such force a sickening sound rang through the air. Her dark blue eyes glazed over, growing dim before squeezing shut.

YOU FUCKING BITCH!

Arisa was content in being surrounded in the black abyss.


A/N: Tell me what you think.