Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Warcraft, I only own my characters.

[Edit : Fixed a typo or two and I had a name wrong :/.]

Let It Go

I had never slept as peacefully as I had that evening. As I woke up, my lips curled into a smile, my hand stroking the soft head leaning against my shoulder. I felt warm sunlight on my face its gentle rays beaming from the open window. Salty air twinged my nose, coarse and sharp as I yawned and rose from the bed. I pulled on my trousers, moving to look outside. We were reaching Ratchet, for I could see the busy streets and merchants bustling about in the early morning. Goblins patrolled the market area, guarding the seaport from hooligans and thieves. They were the peace keepers of a neutral area in the Barrens.

The ship still had a ways to go, until docking. We were near the Echo Isles, which was Darkspear Troll territory according to Elirina. The tropical land was beautiful against the sunbeams. From behind, I heard the elf yawn, shortly followed by a gasp. Realization. I turned with a wide grin on my face as I walked back to her side of the bed, where she sat with the sheets covering her. She was sitting up in the bed, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. I sat beside her, moving her hand away so that I could cup her chin.

"Good morning."

She shook her head and pulled back, muttering things in a panicked tone. The elf was trembling unable to look at me in the eyes. And this made my heart sink. Was she ashamed of herself? Couldn't she agree, that there was something in this? Didn't she enjoy our lovemaking? I stared at Elirina waiting for a reply from her, needing some kind of response. I gave her a few moments, until I stood up.

I sighed, "Listen... Eli... I know that things got carried away last night –

But she interrupted me hurriedly and I could see her eyes now. "No, don't say anything, don't leave. Just... stay here," her hand grabbed my own out of fear, pulling me back to her. She pulled me into her so that I was leaning over her, my face inches from hers. I lowered my lips to catch her mouth, glad that she was returning my gesture. The kiss was kept soft and smooth, unrushed. Her chest heaved beneath the blankets when I pulled away slowly, taking my time. Lost in the others gaze, I lifted her up into my arms and cradled her. Elirina nuzzled into the hollow of my neck, exhaling lightly. We sat there in silence, simply enjoying the others presence until a hasty knock at our door. The voidwalker sent an image to my mind; a picture of Duncan outside the cabin door impatiently waiting. Quickly I put the elf on her feet, as Duncan's voice spoke from the other side.

"Nicholas, open the door!" Other voices filled the air that sounded like Allen and Elysia.

"Has Ander's discovered the plan?" I called out.

"Don't be a fucken' idiot, we all could hear yer both last night. These walls are wooden, na' stone!"

I moved to gather Eli's armor, as she bashfully tried to cover her naked self, unable to hold back a grin. I couldn't help but be proud of my own accomplishment, pushing an elf such as her over the edge, consuming her mind with playful sins, that she had now discovered to be pleasureful. It had only been a matter of time before one of us caved. "Oh come on Eli, I've seen you plenty of times before. You don't have to act so modest."

"Oh shush, just hand me the undersuit."

I handed her the black leather armor that she wore beneath the plate, that clung to her body tightly. Once it was on, she stretched her numb muscles. I opened the door and let the others in as I began to place the plate layers on her body. Allen shut the door behind him. First the chest piece, with silver underlying gold and crimson tinted sheets that adorned her bejeweled armor. I listened to Duncan explain what had occurred. Ander's had discovered my plan to free Elirina, due to his early sobering last night, thus allowing him to hear us throughout the evening. So I figured that Anders would be enraged by such an atrocity (in his eyes), and would assume that there was going to be an escape the next day. This embarrassed her greatly, her cheeks brightening. The others seemed unperturbed by such a fact. This caused her to freak silently and lean against a wall. Shame, again. It was heartbreaking, to be able to real her in sometimes... only to have her be repulsed and run away from me. It was like she wanted me to be by her, but she wanted the ability to move off whenever she wanted. And I really couldn't handle that. I couldn't handle her swaying heart, like a pendulum swinging from me to reality. Didn't she understand that I wanted to set her free from that? Reality was a silly thing, and she knew it. In fact, most humans recognize this feeling, because of they're ability to dream and produce goals and hopes. However, such things are easily crushed by outside forces or instability. Elirina was making me unstable, with her own internal conflict that plagued her. But that was life. You can't manipulate a person's emotions. What would life be, if we could? Uneventful, that's for sure.

Duncan's urgent voice recalled my memory. Right. Duncan, the Alliance, traitorous dogs, ya, I knew this story. But Elirina was panicking, simply because of the fact that everyone else was in trouble. Technically, only Allen and Elysia were "traitorous" as well. Elysia was the one who was helping my escape, by creating a portal to Shattrath, and Allen, for keeping watch and "getting rid of" those who tried to get near. But the elf fell into a fit of distress, anxious for how the day was going to plan out. It wasn't like she had several other options to consider. There were two only lives she could choose from here on out. She could go home, back to Orgrimmar, and be with her allies and soon to be husband, if the arrangement was still in tact after so long. Or, I would offer her to come with me, to run off to the Outlands and become outlaws. Not a very established or steady lifestyle, but rather a nomadic one. Inn to inn, or forest ground to crusted Earth, anywhere would be a home. Anywhere she wanted, where we wouldn't be tracked down. But most women wanted a form of stability, and she was certainly one of those kind of women.

"Look, I donna 'ave much time, Anders is furious. You have to leave quickly." And with that, he left to continue to distract Anders.

"Come on Eli, we have to get you out of here." Elysia said calmly, helping me by handing me scattered armor on the floor. The elf tried to speak, but was hushed by me, as I began to belt the pieces together, so that it fit together on her back. She clasped the bracers and belt on before slipping on the plate metal gloves. I then fitted the skirt on correctly, before tightening the straps for her. With the last piece of armor on, I stepped up and handed her backpack, only to pause. I had never seen her dressed in plate. It was decorated ornately, as one piece. Immaculately designed to shimmer with perfect lighting, silent and sleek in clandestine movement, it was suitable for a defender of light, whether she twisted it or not. I finally lifted her sword to her, the hilt outstretched. She took the blade, and lifted it up some, regaining the strength to hold it. It's point was dull and it had lost its sheen from being untended to. I helped her strap it to her back, so that it sat in place. Once everything was in place, she brushed the light dust off. She grunted from the weight, trying to gain balance.

"And you think cloth armor is irritating." She groaned, "Do you know how much weight I'm carrying?"

I smiled half-heartedly and quickly moved to the window, to estimate how long we would be until landing. "It looks like we're five minutes until the docks. Listen, you're going to have to climb out of the window, into the water. Anders won't be expecting us to go underwater, up to the sand. He'll be in the city, looking around for us. Eli, you're going to have to wear your helm. Should we get separated, run to the grassland, out of the city. Don't stop for anyone. Once you reach that area, wait up for the rest. Should all go well, Elysia will be making a portal to Shattrath for ourselves, and for you as well, Eli, if you want to come." I paused, eying her reaction. She wasn't looking at me, but rather the oakwood floor. I frowned, yet continued. "Elysia, you do know how to port to Shattrath, right?"

"Oh.. well, I've never actually made one. I don't honestly don't know if it goes to the right place or not. I know the correct markings to make one, but I a mage can never guarantee that it will –

"Whatever works."

"But! If things go haywire, and you get sent to some random place, you can, uh, always walk?"

Very reassuring indeed.

"Eli, your horse – "

"Should be there, waiting, when I call him. He is a demon, after all. Like any other, he can appear from shadows nearby."

We didn't have much time. Once the ship completely stopped, I let the elf climb out of the window and fall into the water. I really wasn't sure if she could even swim with such a heavy load to carry, so I jumped in second. I lifted her into my arms and pulled her to shore, making sure that she didn't slip from my fingers. The others followed, and I urged them to hurry. With her helm placed on, we ran off into the city, as elusive as possible. I turned to look at the Nostalgia once more, to see Duncan already conversing with his crew, while Anders was running with a temporary militia that would hunt us down. Clad in armor, he was barking orders to everyone in the area, commanding for them to help them search as well. Duncan did nothing to help the Knight Lieutenant, other than stay out of his way. Anders, as well had come to discover, was a force that needed to be let alone, or else things would become... difficult. I held onto Elirina's hand tightly, trying to not become divided. Division would only make things more complicated. After pushing through crowds, we reached the outskirts of town, about ten minutes ahead of Anders' men. We moved to a shady tree with a large trunk and underbrush, that concealed us for the most part. Allen and Elysia gave us our time, standing aside as she began to create the transportation drawing on the ground with arcane dust that would hopefully port us to the correct place.

From the other side of the tree, Elirina and I walked together slowly. She had already called upon her horse to her side. Gently she stroked its mane and forehead. She turned to me after. We didn't say anything for moments, which made me soon realize that we were wasting valuable time. Had she made a decision? Would she leave? Would she stay? Would she stay to be with me, or to simply run away from a predestined fate that was clearly wrong. But then again. What was there to say. She had all the more right to leave, at least the other man could fulfill her dreams.

When she removed her helm, I could see her expression clearly. She was afraid. Afraid of what, the unknown? What was so damned scary about the future? What was so horrifying, so terrible that could hold her back? I guessed the idea of not knowing what was next. An unpredictable life, was well, just that. You never knew what was going to happen, who you were going to meet, where you would end up. Some people couldn't handle that, and I had come to assume that she was one of those kind of people.

"Look... I won't force you to make a decision. I've already forced you to do enough. It's your future, I've already messed up alot of it for the most part."

Elirina said nothing, but rather touched my scarred cheek. I leaned my head into her palm, shutting my eyes. Such fingertips moved to my lips, preventing myself from saying anything. Her plate fingers were cold against me, almost uninviting.

"You were doing your job, I understand that now."

"But, it wasn't for the right reasons. I was doing the job for worthless things, petty items, unfulfillable things.. I shouldn't have – "

"Nicholas, just look at it like this. You're letting me go. That's more than I could ask for. You're giving me my own freedom to decide what to do, where to go." My chest was heaving, contorting into knots that stung me. "I appreciate how you've been for the past few weeks. You've been kind to me. There's a side of you, it's there... you do care and you are concerned for others. I really hope you find happiness; find it in the Outlands. I'm sure you will. There is a big heart in you, that needs to be used to the fullest potential. Although it took me forever to see it, I had a feeling that it was there. You don't need a silly dream to tell you how to view your future. It was... probably just the alcohol, anyways. You can't have it dictating your actions every step of the way."

Yes, but they were real, vivid dreams, that I held in my hands. I could see them, nearly feel them. They were that close to me. Alcohol never did that. But I could feel it slipping away through the cracks. "Of course, Elirina." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I'm guessing your decision is to go home. I figured as much, I just hoped that I could handle it better."

"I can't. Nicholas, I need to return to my world, even if it thinks I'm dead. There are people who care about me as well, people whom I've known longer than you, who won't believe that I'm gone. I can't leave them behind. They know me, they've been there for me during – "

And I narrowed my eyebrows. "So just because they've known you longer, means they deserve you? Just because I haven't been there since day one, means I'm not worthy of your attention? The hell to that! You're just afraid of the future." And I ended up exploding. So much was being held back, thoughts were spinning wicked webs in my mind, catching me in their grasp. Their talons were curled around my neck, scrapping gently for me to succumb. But it was her fault. She was being the oblivious ones, she was being the idiot! "I can't believe you. God, you're so pleased that your future is being planned out for you. Means you don't have to do any of the work, as if you were planning to do any anyways. You wouldn't know how to make a stable life on your own anyways." She stiffened up, shaking her head, trying to not listen to me. "But really... Damnit, Eli, we made love! I was your first, and you enjoyed it. I don't know how that gets any more personal. I'm guessing that's a good ten years stacked ontop of my record because of that." She wasn't looking at me again, and I roughly pulled her face back. "But that means nothing, does it? What was I? Your own personal experiment? Is it just a game for you, now that I've nicened up? Think you can take advantage of that side of me? Well you're wrong. I'm still me, I'm still divided. But, you don't get it, do you? You don't care. I bet you love that elf that you're going to marry. I bet you chose him yourself out of a slew of elves at your disposal. You can't wait to earn the bragging rights with your friends, to be able to gossip all you want about whomever and whatever, and fuck whoever you want, because your husband and parents don't care. You don't care that your parents have an open marriage, because really?... Its just words, and two silly circles on their fingers. Whats the point? Its all ideal. It means nothing, so that's just the ticket to doing anything. Right? You can't wait to make mommy and daddy so proud, by obeying them, and walking down some aisle, with your fancy gown, and you're sparkling eyes. It'll be everything you've always wanted, because you're just a spoiled brat, afterall..." I paused, clutching her chin tightly, digging my nails into her skin. I was disgusted, caught up in how she repulsed the very idea of being with me."You know, I really thought that there was something there. I really thought I was doing the best thing for you, by letting you make your own decision. But really, you don't know what it is. You don't even know what love is. You just think its a handsome face, or simple words of endearment. No, sweetie, love is several things. It's loyalty, honesty and trust. You don't sleep around, when you've given your word to that other person. You don't lie, or try to make up excuses. You tell the damned truth. You don't marry someone because you just want permission to do as you please, you do it because you earnestly love them."

She was offended now, pushing me away and crossing her arms, standing her ground. But what else was there? Fake tears glistening her cheek? Was she frightened by me? Afraid that I would curse her flesh with agony? She yelled back at me, trying to get out of my grasp. "Oh? And you think you know a thing about love? Look at you, making a pathetic definition of love, when you've never been in a lasting relationship, only with your courtesans and succubus! You're always too drunk to be in tune with reality, you're so oblivious to the world around you, that you think everything's fine and dandy, when it isn't. I'm sure you've broken plenty of hearts in the past, with your cold and downright vile behavior. I'm sure you've stripped women to pieces because they didn't want you that way, or when they discovered the real you! You're just a sick fiend, who's obsessed with a fantasy. Well wake up! You told me yourself that the world isn't roses and dandelions. You said that the strongest survive. Well, I want to survive. You think I want to marry a slob like him? Erannar? Really? That pretentious, good for nothing sloth? Why, I'd rather drink ectoplasm and just become apart of the scourge!"

"I heard what you said. You obviously want him, over me. Why? You said it yourself. You want to make it in this world, you don't want to be alone. Well fine, have fun. Good riddance." And scowled and shook my head. "I just hope to God that when you get knocked up, and are pregnant, that you have a miscarriage. We don't need any more fuckin elves in this world."

She gasped and stared at me. Her mouth hung agape at my words, until she slapped me head on, leaving a piercing red mark on my stinging cheek. "How dare you, how dare you say such a spiteful thing! You hardly know the man – "

"And you're still not denying that you at least have feelings for him." I quietly spoke. She couldn't reply. "It's quite alright. I've heard this story too many times myself. It's because he's so handsome. You're attracted to him physically, and looking at me is like vomiting and smearing it on your face. I'm hideous, I know.. You don't need to deny it. I'm sure he has a perfect body, scar-free, unburned. Sleek chest, toned muscles. Strong arms, that magically cradle you with affection. He gets you whatever you want, leans on your very whims. Gets you roses and chocolates, trying to win over your love? Oh, let me guess, he's also a paladin, so he has that edge on you as well. Was I really your first, when you could have been with him? Come on, you need not hide it. How's he in bed? Does he just make your skin tingle with ecstasy? "

"Oh, shush! I'm not some tramp that throws herself at men. I have some form of dignity. And why do you care anyways?"

"I told you."

"Well, remind me!"

"You didn't care enough to remember it. If you truly did, you would understand my point of view, you would have remembered." I stuttered when speaking, feeling my heart crush in her hands. She simply forgot...that I loved her, that I didn't want to let her go. And I had told her. "But you're a hedonist, just like me. You've discovered a new venue for pleasure, and you can't wait to test it out with this other man."

"And are you jealous? Are you jealous of someone who is more appealing to look at?"

"I'm perfectly comfortable with what happened to me. There's nothing I can do to change it, so why fuss?" But I did care. I cared because I wanted to look as normal as I could, so that her eyes wouldn't wander. I wanted to fulfill her every need, kneel at her every whim, succumb to her own desires, and in the end, I just wanted to be told "I love you" hotly and dearly, with honesty and sincerity. That's all I needed. But here she was. Slandering all of it to tiny specs, cutting out my heart with her blade. "You just don't get it." I shook my head, and pushed her back against the tree trunk. She glared at me thoroughly with hatred and contempt. I didn't expect her to know, in the end. She was blissfully lost in translation, moving back into reality after last night. She probably had fallen asleep before hearing me whisper those words in her ear. But it didn't matter. I could stake my claim right then and there, even if I looked like an ass while trying to do so.

With venom coating my tongue, I uttered into her ear, "You'll never feel this way again. Not with him." And with that, I crashed down onto her lips and molded with her. I grasped her face to me, combating her struggles. She was trying so hard to uphold her own values, until she caved in and returned her velvet lips to me. Her hands grasped my hair, and nearly... just nearly, she was losing herself. She swallowed her pride with a hard gulp... and I swore I had her under my reigns, that she was mine now. That I was winning her over. But that notion faded when she pushed me away forcefully and shook her head. "No, you're just a hypocrite. Don't preach to me about love. Look at you, you're manipulating me. If you really cared, you wouldn't be doing this to me. You wouldn't be making me choose! You would accept this, you would – "

"And I am letting you decide." I replied, rubbing my burning cheek that she hit. "Oh come on! I'm only asking that you leave for the right reasons! Don't leave because you can't wait to get home to Mommy and Daddy who have been oh so worried about you, as they share a bed with another person. Don't leave because you've lied to me all this time about you not liking this guy you're supposed to marry. At least do it for the right reasons. At least leave because you want to live your own life, make your own decisions and break free from your arranged marriage. I thought I was giving you that option, but I guess I was wrong... At least leave because being with me would be traitorous, at least have that kind of honor and loyalty to your people."

"And those are my reasons...Nicholas, I've been cluttered with thoughts, ideas, visions and possibilities. There are so many scenarios in my head, so many ways that this could have gone about. I want to see the world, fight for the Horde, bring honor to my people. I want to see if there's more to life than this. I want to find someone who loves me, not just for my body, but respects me for my dreams and aspirations. I want to be treated like an individual, I want to make sense of things! … Look, I know those seem silly in your eyes, but I really... I really need to grow up some before I pack up and permanently leave Azeroth. As I said before, who knows. Maybe you'll find someone who can make you happier than you've ever been before. Maybe you'll find some kind of meaning to your life, beyond this lifestyle thus far."

Before I could reply, Allen walked into my eyesight, calling us both over. "The portals ready. Elysia says you have a few minutes before it expires."

I nodded, walking over to where the portal hovered. Elysia and Allen were about to walk through, saying their goodbyes to Elirina, should she be leaving. "You aren't staying in Azeroth, either of you?"

"We're leaving with Nicholas in order to make sure he finds standings in Shattrath. Its a very divided city, and you have to keep your eyes pealed. I personally am aligned with the Aldor and Allen is neutral. Most likely Nicholas will be neutral as well, but first we have to show him to the right people. Plus, Allen and I were interested in the market areas. There are some rare, exotic findings there, that you cannot find anywhere else."

Elirina nodded, looking to me. "It's your choice whether you come or stay. Either way, I give my complete and honest word when I say, that I will never forget you, and will never be able to move on. Quite frankly, its my nature. I have a fond memory of those I care about. Elirina, if you didn't realize it yet, I'm obsessed with that dream. It's nagged me day in and day out. I know its plagued you as well, and I know you're confused. But know this, I will always, although it may seem obscure or wrong, love you."

And with that final note, I handed her the Alliance papers as she stared dumbfound at me. "Do as you will with them. I honestly don't care what happens because of them. I was only in it for the money."

I waved casually, and walked into the portal before it closed into thin air.


What could be done, of such silly emotions? Why did a being above grant all beings the ability to feel things, to sense right or wrong, or to grasp the uncertain? I myself would have to call this ruler of all things, our creator... he's a very selfish person, who is merely seeking entertainment. You see, these things... emotions, why, they're quite peculiar. I've always found that by sealing up such sparks as like a bomb ticking away. Eventually, it explodes into something, good or by, depending on what it is. It's rather confusing, intriguing, but very, very peculiar indeed. But I must admit, this being... he's smart. This thing knows their comedy. They know their creation inside and out, they know what makes us tick, they know how to pinch us, cripple us... They know how to make things more interesting. But life's a mystery, who knows, honestly.

Yet in all the years of my short life, I had never felt as empty as this. Beyond that, I felt like a complete ass. Laying on the cool stone ground of Shattrath, I stared up at the covering of the large area. I sat up, rubbing my head, as I had been tossed out of thin air towards the ground. I guess nothing hurt as much as my burn, every once in awhile, but I had a massive headache. Groaning, I stood up, brushing the dust off my robe before calling my Fel Hunter to my side. "Chii, locate Elysia for me." The creation craned its head to look, just as its thorn tipped tethers began to move into the air. Like a dog locating a scent, the demon ran off into the direction I had ordered of it. I followed slowly, taking my time to look at the city's layout, watching as vagabonds and refugees walked about, begging more well off citizens for a spare bite of food, or some copper. There were an assortment of people, ranging from ethereal men of metal and light, to birds that walked on two feet. It was extremely different in comparison to Azeroth, it was so outlandish, I understood the title for the land finally. Everything was different; the languages, the factions, and the people themselves. But none of it contained Elirina.

She seemed so far away, so beyond my reach. In just a few days, she'd remeet her companions, and soon to be husband, in that, he had waited for her. Denied her death or capture, and was waiting loyally. If so, then maybe there was a chance for him, if he had such patience to wait for a gal like her. Maybe she was right. Maybe there was depth to such a possibility, that such dreams... were just that. Dreams. But I had only recently come to the conclusion that they could become real, but there she was, denying it all, calling it lies... just a blissful atrocity for her. But that's all it was now. A kind of nostalgia that I couldn't understand, something that ignored the rules of reality. At least, at the very, very least... she could be happy.


End of Blind Nostalgia.

AN: Finished Act I of this series. Act II will be coming shortly, after I finish my school finals. Please, feel free to review to give me ideas or insight about the story. I feel bad for making you, my readers, wait so long for one chapter that's tiny. I really hope I'm not slacking at all. Either way, questions, coments, concerns, the usual...