Flashback
I found myself at Ziggy's door after yet another argument with Trevor; Trevor had just came home from the police station and he was now awaiting a date for his trial for carless driving, and this wasn't the first time so I just knew they would give him a move serious punishment this time; we argued which ended up with me storming out.
"Alright, Alright, I'm coming" he shouted, then the door opened and he stood there in front of me.
"Why does he always do this to me?" I asked before I threw myself in his arms.
"Because he's an idiot" he said wrapping his arms around me and hugging me back.
"I wish he was more like you" I muttered into his chest.
"Come on you" he said as he pulled away from me and tilted my chin up so I was looking at him.
"Let's watch a film and eat junk food that always cheers you up"
"You're the best" I grinned following him into his house.
End Flashback
It was about three in the morning as I leant against the outside wall; the memories of when Lily was conceived coming back to me and hitting me like a ton of bricks.
The truth was that ZIGGY ROSCOE WAS LILY'S FATHER and the truth made me sick; sick because I had lied for so long and the truth was going to hurt everyone; it was all just one big mess.
I loved Trevor, but I also hated him; I hated the way I loved him, I was stupid in love with him and I couldn't do anything about it, I could leave him, but that wouldn't change my feelings for him.
Then there was Ziggy; I slept with him and had a baby with him and that baby was Lily; such a mess.
Flashback
"Ziggy..." I asked halfway through the film causing him to look at me "Do you think I'm pretty?"
"Cause you are, you're gorgeous babe, any guy would be lucky to have you" he said.
"Then why does Trevor always cheat on me? When he isn't cheating on me he's in prison and when he isn't in prison he's out with his mates" I told him honestly "Am I not enough?"
"You are more than enough, you are everything and he doesn't deserve you" he smiled kindly at me before reaching up to move a strand of hair from in front of my eyes "You're beautiful babe, smart, kind, funny, and don't let any guy make you doubt yourself"
I leant forward and kissed him with all the passion I could muster; I felt him kiss back before gently pushing me away "Babe..."
"I just want to feel loved..." I told him before leaning back in and kissing him again.
End Flashback
Ziggy being Lily's dad was just one of the many things that could ruin me and Trevor forever and despite what I said I didn't what that; this is why I need time; time so we can both figure out what we wanted.
Suddenly my phone rang; looking at the caller ID I let out a pained sob; worst timing ever, yet another secret of mine which Ziggy nor Trevor knew nothing about.
Flashback
"Leela can you do me a massive favor?" Mum asked as I walked downstairs.
I looked at her knowing what she was about to ask.
"Oh no, no I'm going out with Trevor tonight" I told her.
"Please, they asked me to work the night shift and we need the money" Mum said.
"Can't Dad do it?"
"He's got to a board meeting and won't be back until tomorrow, please just look after your sister for me..."
Just then a six-year-old Peri came downstairs.
"Is Leela looking after me?" she asked, running over and wrapping her little arms around my waist.
"Yes" Mum said.
"Yayyyyyy" Peri shouted excitedly.
"Mum" I moaned "I never said that"
"Don't you want to spend time with me?" Peri asked with wide eyes.
"Of course I do, but I have plans"
"Let me come with you" she said.
I sighed as I looked down at her "Fine" I said frowning at Mum "I will stay in"
"Can we watch this?" my sister asked waving her favourite DVD at me.
"Sure, why not" I muttered, sending a quick text to Trevor to tell him I had to cancel.
Suddenly Peri stopped halfway to the sofa and turned to me "You're the best big sister" she smiled "I love you"
Suddenly not going out didn't seem so bad after all.
"Love you too kiddo"
End Flashback
