Peony Pink and Cherry Blossom Tea
Chapter 7: Are We Holding Each Other Back
What does it take to be a pro-hero? Super strength? Wits? Popularity? A heart of gold? Or a lot of luck? Whatever it is, Todoroki Shouto, 17 years old, doesn't think that three years of high school education and training is enough to supply that. UA or not.
"Todoroki!"
His eyes go from his dirty hands to the figure stomping his way to him. He looks way, way up to meet Yoarashi Inasa's dark, turbulent eyes. He's breathless too, a little less dirty than Shouto is, but only just.
On the surface, his fellow sidekick may seem more together. He's large and strong and loud, and in the cramped emergency room he towers over everyone, so that doctors, nurses, and patients alike stare at him in awe and some semblance of gratitude.
The way he's looking at Shouto, though, it's obvious that he's just as shaken as he is. In a gentler tone, definitely uncharacteristic of him: "What're ya doin', just sitting there? They're waitin' for ya there, ta clean ya up and get yer statement..."
Shouto regards him blankly, but doesn't move. Yoarashi exhales loudly and looks like he has half a mind to carry the shorter boy in his arms. He can, theoretically, and he almost looks like he would, but settles for gruffly lifting his arm and pulling him to his feet.
This rough movement snaps Shouto out of his trance briefly, somewhat erratically. "I can move by myself."
Yoarashi frowns. "You aren't, though."
The shorter hero shakes his head. "Just a little longer," he mumbles, looking at the critical beds. The quiet commotion there continues, with nurses working on various drips and medications, and young doctors on all sides working on the man's multiple wounds and burns, the largest one on his face. He sees the numbers on the monitor and struggles to decipher their meaning.
"Todoroki. Ya did all ya could. We all did. Yer… I mean, Endeavor did too, so..." Yoarashi says, again in that uncharacteristic soft voice. "He's in good hands now, yeah?"
No, he didn't. He could have minded his surroundings more. Could have shouted in a louder voice, so that the people around them knew to run away. Could have used his ice instead of his fire against that villain-he shouldn't even have attempted to use flames, not with Endeavor and Yoarashi around, who potentiate his power exponentially to beyond his control.
Shouto doesn't have the strength to say so.
His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing. He looks up to meet a man impeccably dressed in a suit made of denim, and a tired-looking man with unruly dark hair and bloodshot eyes. The contrast is uncanny; were it not for the denim man's doctor's coat, and the tired man's scrub suit, he wouldn't have guessed they were doctors.
"So you are Endeavor's sidekicks, I presume? The ones who brought in Mr. Aihara in critical bed 1?" the blonde doctor asks politely.
Shouto nods. Dr. Hakamata Tsunagu, Neurosurgery, his coat reads. "Is he going to make it?" he asks, in a tone that he hopes is polite, but begs against any bullshit.
The disheveled one, Dr. Aizawa Shota of the Emergency Department, answers him bluntly. "He isn't looking good. He lost a lot of blood, and about 70% of his skin is burnt. He's got a really big hematoma in his brain too. We called in Dr. Hakamata here for a possible evacuation of that bleed, but he isn't stable enough to be brought to surgery."
Hearing that feels worse than the suckerpunch to the gut he endured fighting the villain earlier.
"We're bracing for the worst," Dr. Hakamata says, after a moment where the two young sidekicks are unable to form a reply. "Dr. Aizawa and his team has informed the patient's remaining family of the situation. His daughter is here, waiting."
A girl in a middle school uniform who looks as stunned at the events as they are is sitting at the benches near the entrance, shaking and pale with tears in her eyes.
"I see." Shouto nods and politely bows, murmurs his thanks, and rushes to the girl. The girl is in the middle of wiping her eyes when she stands up bug-eyed to meet them.
"Aihara-san," he begins, senses Yoarashi hovering right behind him. "I'm… very sorry for what happened to your father. It's my…"
The girl looks up at him as if she can't quite believe what is happening. He supposes he'd feel the same too, if an important person who's okay in the morning is suddenly at the brink of death when he sees them in the evening. And then, to be ambushed by two unknown and unhelpful and filthy sidekicks like this…
He wants to tell her sorry for messing up. For hurting her father, instead of protecting him like he should have. For being the reason why she's alone now.
Yoarashi doesn't say anything for once. He wishes unfairly that the taller man would say anything to break the silence, to finish Shouto's broken sentence. But he doesn't this time. His timing has always been off.
The girl shakes her head and tries to put on a brave front, though. "It's all right, Shouto-san. Reppu-san. I… saw what happened on TV. The villain was there, and Dad was… just at the wrong place, at the wrong time."
He was coming home from work in a busy part of the city. Their team should have maneuvered the fight elsewhere, but they weren't able to.
"... I mean… it's an accident. People get hurt 'cause of villains all the time," she continues, with a little break in her voice as she looks at the busy ER. Injured people coming in left and right. Dr. Aizawa's already gone back to work.
He has nothing else to say to that. He holds out one filthy hand, staining her pure white uniform top entirely by accident. On his touch, she starts weeping again and starts to accept his sorry attempt at comfort, only stopping when another shadow looms above them.
"Shouto," the familiar annoying voice goes. He sees the glow of the obnoxious flames before he sees Endeavor's face as he turns around. There's an annoyed twist to the man's lip when he regards his and Yoarashi's bloody states. "They're waiting for you outside."
"Who?" he snaps. He feels Yoarashi stare at him, just as he feels his eyes go colder.
"The police. The reporters. Also our agency staff, to make you appear less filthy for the cameras."
He frowns. "Let them wait. It's not important."
"Yes it is," the old man snarls. "It's your first successful takedown of a villain, and an important one at that. The public's waiting for you. You and Yoarashi are going to receive accolades for this."
The taller sidekick makes a face that says he isn't too happy to hear that at all. Shouto can feel the conflict from where he stands. Still, he doesn't back down. "If you're more interested in accolades, you can go ahead and face them. We have real casualties to deal with, Endeavor."
Endeavor makes a move to touch him on his shoulder, which he swats away on instinct. The old man glares at him, but makes no other move. Instead, he shifts his irritated gaze to Yoarashi, who instantly stands taller. "Ten minutes," he tells him, and leaves.
Shouto is unable to control the coldness in his eyes when he looks at the girl again, who whimpers audibly and bows. "I'm sorry for taking up your time," she squeaks, and moves away.
He meets Yoarashi's gaze, who is still stunned at the exchange. "We gotta do as yer old man says, Shouto! He might actually fire us this time!"
Another wave of patients come in from another attack that happened nearby. The ER is a flurry of activity once again, and it's apparent that the two sidekicks are standing in the way.
He nods at Yoarashi and follows him out. As promised, he's cleaned up and placed in a cleaner costume. The police take his statements and the reporters ask him questions. He answers them as curtly as he can.
Hours later, Dr. Aizawa tells him that Mr. Aihara coded on the way to surgery. The daughter refused any other treatment, and was there when they announced the time of death.
The next day, the press is singing him and Yoarashi praises for apprehending the villain-in-question. Endeavor Agency's management proudly tells him that his official Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram accounts have doubled in followers. Letters and presents from fans litter his desk every morning when he comes in for work. The local prefecture office sent him flowers.
He resigns from the Endeavor Agency roster the following week, leaving his pro-hero license at his desk.
"Lookit you, Todoroki! Never thought I'd see you in the hospital again as a doctor! You look so respectable! I can't believe it!"
Shouto winces at the assault on his eardrums, and the rest of his body when Yoarashi Inasa slaps him on the back with the force of a tornado. Next to him, Midoriya doesn't help him, and instead stares up at the giant pro with shiny green eyes.
"Thank you," he replies, struggling to regain his composure. "You look well too. Better."
"Wh-what?! Yeah, Todoroki, thanks! That means a lot!" Yoarashi just beams at that and is thankfully a little speechless at his compliment. Shouto means it, though. He supposes anyone who can make it out of the Endeavor Agency with his integrity intact deserves just as much.
"By the way, this is my colleague, Midoriya. He's from pediatric surgery. We're doing the procedure together."
On cue, the green-haired surgeon stammers out his name, bows feverishly, and whips out a notebook for autographs. "I'm such a huge fan of yours, Reppu-san! I've been following your career since you were in the Endeavor Agency… and Yui-san as well, when you were still with Ryuukyuu! It's amazing meeting you guys in person!"
"Pleasure is all mine," Kodai says flatly, shaking Midoriya's hand. "Thank you very much for taking care of Tanuki-san."
"Yeah! Can ya believe the nerve of villains nowadays?! Givin' a lil 5-year-old kid like that Trigger! Glad me 'n Yui got to him on time!"
Shouto winces again, and worries momentarily that all of Yoarashi's bellowing will render all the sedation they gave the patient useless. He looks over his shoulder and sees that the child is thankfully still asleep.
"Well, I guess we'll visit again when he's doin' better!" the pro says, gesturing for Kodai to follow. Midoriya babbles out something one last time before he giddily follows Todoroki to the OR.
The surgery goes smoothly. As the child is wheeled out to the recovery room, Shouto spots the dark-haired woman standing there, eyeing him as if she wants to talk.
"It might be important. I'll handle Tanuki-chan, Todoroki-kun," Midoriya says brightly, giving Kodai a big smile and a wave that she returns with her blank face. Shouto walks up to her curiously, pulling off his mask along the way.
"I apologize, Todoroki-san," she says with a bow. "I know you must be busy."
"It's all right," he says. He feels his phone vibrate briefly in his pocket, and he wonders if it's Ochako replying to his message from two hours ago. "What do you need me for?"
She stares at him carefully, and then at the surroundings. There aren't many people in the surgical suites at this time, but there are a number of them. Nurses moving about, giving them curious glances and awed smiles and not-so-subtle gapes of the mouth. "I… have things that I need to ask you, specifically."
He tilts his head questioningly.
"It has to do with your family," she says in a conspiratorial low voice.
Odd. There's only one obvious reason why any pro-hero would be interested in his family. "Endeavor, you mean?"
She nods. He gestures for them to walk, letting her lead the way. "Is it urgent?"
Again, she nods, and he has to admit the flash of conflict in her eyes makes him uneasy. She notices and says, "It's urgent for me and my work, but not for you. If you're worried about you or your family being in immediate danger, that's not it. Still, I feel that it's a topic that we have to speak of eventually."
"Is that so."
"Preferably… while sitting down," she says in a tone that doesn't make him worry less. There are many eyes on them, and security cameras. The paging system blares out every now and then, easily overpowering their conversation. "I was hoping to speak with you elsewhere, if you have the time."
She's bringing him to the hotel lobby and presumably out of the hospital, he realizes. "It has to be another time. I'm on call tonight," he tells her, just as they reach the edge of the lobby.
"Oh." She pauses, and takes out her phone. "I apologize. I should have informed you beforehand, Todoroki-san. If I had your number, then-"
He nods and takes out his phone. He manages to read Ochako's message- work hard, I hope the baby makes it :(- plugs in Kodai's number, and gives her a missed call. He eventually decides to type a quick reply to the nurse: Tanuki-kun made it, when he hears Kodai pipe up next to him, "That's Uraraka-san, isn't it?"
He looks up at the direction she points to, and sees her familiar brown hair, bright brown eyes, glowing pink cheeks… focused entirely on a familiar figure with messy dark hair.
Irritation wells from the pit of his stomach.
Before he can stop himself, his feet move to their direction. Kodai glances at him with slight worry and tries to take the lead. She calls out, "Shindo-senpai. Uraraka-san."
It seems that they walk in on the two as they bicker over something. Shouto wonders how close they must be to argue in such a way, and wonders again when he sees Ochako with a box that looks too much like a present. She turns to him and then to Kodai with wide eyes. The guy, however, has a smug smile on his face, like he won a bet.
"Oh… Yui-chan and Todoroki-kun," Shindo says. Shouto doesn't like the little look the other guy gives Ochako as he asks, "You guys done with your little talk?"
Kodai nods. "Our patient is okay. Todoroki-san and Midoriya-san did well."
Shindo gives him a well-will-you-look-at-that look, which somehow looks condescending. He holds out his hand for him to shake. "So I guess that means I should congratulate you, Doc? Yui-chan was so worried about Tanuki-kun. She was pretty happy knowing that you were on board the case and all, ya know?"
He holds out his right hand and wills it not to freeze over, as challenging as it may be at that time. "Thank you. Seismic-san, right?"
He sees Shindo's eyes crease. Whether it's from the biting cold of his hand, or the impersonal way Shouto says his name, he can't say at the time. "Nah, you can call me Shindo. Or, senpai. We didn't go to the same school, but we're both proper heroes, you and I. Uraraka-san calls me that, so I don't mind if you do too."
He really doesn't like the way he says Uraraka-san. "Hm," is all he says, giving Ochako a questioning look.
She meets his eyes briefly, and looks down at her hands as if she's embarrassed. His curiosity doesn't wane.
Kodai glances at the two of them with an unreadable look before looking at Shindo again. "Senpai, Yoarashi-san might be wondering where we are right now."
"Ah, you're right." The dark-haired hero makes a show of being embarrassed, gives Ochako another look that is oddly sly under the surface. "Sorry for cutting our conversation off so abruptly, Uraraka-san! I guess we can continue next time, eh?"
"Huh? No, that's-" Ochako stammers. She looks at Shouto as if she's caught. Caught doing what, Shouto wonders briefly, as the other man pushes Kodai out of the lobby and out of sight.
Soon, they disappear in the elevators, leaving the doctor and the nurse alone.
Shouto blinks once and trains his eyes to hers. "You two seem close," he says, fighting to keep his voice even.
She nods, bites her lower lip. "I knew him from high school."
That's new. And suspiciously brief. Shouto wants to tell her that maybe she should have mentioned that the first time they encountered Shindo in the gala. Maybe also should have told Shouto that they're… that close, and that they apparently talk when Shouto isn't there.
"Hm," is all he is able to say to that.
He immediately berates himself for his thoughts, however. Because ultimately, despite their recent closeness, their relationship as friends is mostly shallow, and as lovers, entirely fake. He supposes that they aren't at the stage that she would tell him things about her outside of the little radius of their shared world together in the hospital and fake-dating. It's bothersome, but he doesn't fault her for it.
It's not that he's… jealous, or anything immature like that. It's just that he doesn't like that Shindo person, not one bit. He looks like he has a trick up his sleeve. He has an urge to warn Ochako about him because all his instincts tell him to, but he reminds himself of his place and keeps his mouth shut.
Ochako, strangely, also looks uncomfortable at the events that have just transpired. She looks uneasy when she speaks again. "You and Yui-san."
He blinks, and waits for her to continue.
She takes a deep breath, cheeks quivering slightly as she does so. "I didn't know you guys spoke too. I mean… I'm not, you know-I'm just a little bit surprised, I didn't know she was the pro you were talking about earlier-"
Oh. He should have, right? It might have looked strange that he walked her to the lobby. But he was going to tell her originally about Yoarashi first, and maybe how they worked together briefly when they were teenagers.
Still, Ochako seems more interested in Kodai, so he prepares himself to tell her about the strange conversation they just had. "I should have texted you about her, I suppose," he says quietly. "She went to us right before the surgery to make sure that-"
"Paging Dr. Todoroki to ER. Dr. Todoroki, to ER now. Dr. Todoroki-"
Oh. Right. I'm on call.
There's a strange moment where they both open and close their mouths, and look down on the floor at the same time. It's been a while since words are hard to come by between them, and he's a little frustrated.
He should let things go for now. Work comes first. Maybe they can talk better next time. Shouto exhales quietly, and says, "I should go. That might be Dr. Aizawa looking for me. I heard there's been another Nomu attack nearby."
Ochako nods and smiles, albeit a little awkwardly. "Okay. Do your best, Todoroki-kun."
And he's back to being Dr. Todoroki. He sees her hands around that box, sees a childish drawl that reads For Seismic-sama. He bites the inside of his cheek, fights to keep his voice neutral. "Okay. Be careful going home, Uraraka."
He knows he shouldn't be irritated, but he is. He forces himself to get his shit together as he makes his way to the ER.
Shouto never regretted turning his back on pro-heroism in favor of a life in healthcare. Contrary to what Endeavor may say about it though, it isn't "the easy way out".
Everyone knows it's hard work, but not a lot of people realize just how hard. There's the physical strain of going in and out of the operating room so many times a day, sometimes with no food and little sleep and only a minute to close his eyes in between. There's also the intellectual strain of deciding what to do with a grievously injured patient under a time constraint. The emotional strain of speaking to the patients' loved ones, who suffer in a different way. The constant pressure of having to meet the admin's expectations. The victims. The media. The rest of the world.
He doesn't regret doing what he does, because at the end of the day all he wants is to help people. And he tries his best not to let the emptiness and exhaustion catch up to him, but there are days that he's powerless against them. It's not a problem he alone faces. He catches Yaoyorozu sometimes give in to a crying fit in the call room when she deals with a frustrating case. Honenuki too, but oftentimes all he needs is a good massage to sort his head out.
Lately, Shouto has had a lot of those tired, empty days. He knows that talking about them might be good, but he doesn't know who he wants to listen. Still-
Ochako (2217H): Say, Shouto. I know this is weird for me to ask, but
Ochako (2218H): Can we talk?
-has she noticed anything? Strange that she would ask, just when he needs her to. But… maybe she means just texting, as they always do. Which relieves the emptiness somewhat.
Ochako (2220H): No, I mean. Like a real talk irl. Over food or sth
Ochako (2221H): I can treat you anywhere u like promise
Ah. He would really like that.
But at that moment, he's on standby minutes before OR, memorizing how the patient's brain tumor looks like. It looks like it's going to be a hard case. He has two more of this scheduled tomorrow.
He… really, really wants to, but he's tired. Work is a little too much. And…
To be honest, he may be a little afraid of what she wants to talk about. Or what he will say, if he is able to say anything at all. He knows that she's just as tired as he is. Maybe more, because of the pressures of being-with-him-but-not-really. He remembers Shindo, and that little raise of the eyebrow he gave, and all the sneaking suspicions in his head.
Ochako (2226H): Oh! Thats totally fine i get wat u mean
Ochako (2228H): so yeah, i guess ill just wait for ur schedule to clear up;; and mine too hahaha
He doesn't have time to tell her good night because the anesthesiologist, Dr. Kayama, comes in wanting to talk to him about the upcoming case. He switches his phone off, and follows her into the OR suite.
It's already past 2 in the morning when he gets a hold of his phone again. She's sure to be fast asleep and dreaming by this time. He wonders if she fell asleep waiting for his answer.
Please be patient with me, Ochako, he says quite honestly. He can only hope that she will be.
Another day, another emergency.
Shouto has been awake and busy for the past thirty or so hours. He's spent the last one struggling to keep his eyes open during a conference. After it's over, Amajiki-senpai finally tells him that he can go home and rest.
It's one of those rare days when he and Ochako get out of their shifts at roughly the same time. It should have been the perfect day to have their "IRL" talk, over tea preferably. But he knows that if he forced it, he'd just end up sleeping in front of her. Or spacing out. Today just isn't the day.
Making sure that Ochako is safe and away from dark-haired stalkers (and dark-haired... others ) is something he has to do no matter what, though. Ironically, it probably isn't very safe to drive, but he forces himself to do it anyway. He buys them cheap convenience store coffee before the short drive, hoping that it would help things somewhat.
It doesn't. Ochako is eerily silent beside him, only speaking up once or twice when he starts dreaming behind the wheel. It's a miracle that they make it to her apartment at all, and in one piece.
This isn't good. His eyelids are so heavy. The coffee is so bitter. The day has been so tiring.
"Are you going to make it home, Doctoroki?"
She's obviously worried. She looks at him as if she's expecting him to drop dead the next moment. Which means that it's a very real possibility. Without her calling out to him, he'd probably have driven himself in a ditch. He attempts a nod and gives her the most awake look he can manage.
She swallows nervously and says, "You can… take a nap inside, if you want to-"
It's obviously the best thing to do now. Ochako is being kind and practical when she offers it to him. There is… probably nothing else behind her request-no malice, no deep affections, just her being a decent human being, making sure that he doesn't die. And to be honest, even if she insists on how small her apartment is, the offer is tempting. She doesn't have to let him use her futon, he'd be quite content snoozing on the floor for the next sixteen hours or so.
Still… there's an odd feeling that Shouto is getting in the way somehow, getting in between Ochako and something else. Someone else . A line of fire that he shouldn't aggravate if he wants to maintain the balance in their relationship. It nags him from the possibly irrational back of his mind, and he's too out of it to reason otherwise.
"I'll be okay. I don't want to impose."
She looks at him with very real concern. "I don't want you to get in an accident."
"I won't. Promise." He takes another swig of terrible coffee for the road. Ochako eyes him warily, but says nothing more.
"You can… take a nap in your car, if you need to," she says quietly, unbuckling her seatbelt.
He gives her a tired smile. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I'll text you when I get home. Or when they pull me out of the wreckage. Either way."
Dark humor, one of his go-to defense mechanisms. Maybe it's too morbid a joke because of how likely it is, although he hopes he jinxes it somewhat. All she is able to do is to laugh nervously.
Eventually, he watches her as she uneasily retreats into her apartment. The drive home is a struggle, but at least the caffeine finally kicks in, and he is able to keep awake until he reaches home. When he does, Shouto sends a photo of his car, parked safely in the garage.
Me (1857H): Home. I'll be sleeping in a bit. I'll see you at work tomorrow.
Ochako (1858H): thank god!
Ochako (1859H): dont you do that ever again T_T
Me (1902H): Okay. I'm sorry. I won't.
Me (1903H): Good night, Ochako.
Ochako (1903H): ok, good night!
He clumsily rolls out his futon, barely managing not to stumble as he does. He goes down with a flop and reaches out to put his phone to silent, when another message comes in.
Kodai [Pro] (1903H): Good evening, Todoroki-san. This is Y Agency's Kodai Yui. I hope you are doing well.
Kodai [Pro] (1905H): I apologize for the pressure, but the matter that we must discuss has become more urgent.
Kodai [Pro] (1904H): I wonder if it's all right to meet with you next week?
Shouto barely remembers replying to Kodai at all that evening, but when he reviews his messages the next day, it seems that he agreed to meet her for lunch the following Tuesday.
When the day comes, he gets Yaoyorozu to cover for him. But finishing work on time proves to be difficult. When he makes it to the cafe across the street, he is already fifteen minutes late.
Fortunately, it appears that the pro hasn't been waiting long. She seems to be amusing herself with a matryoshka doll on the counter that looks oddly like a Yaoyorozu original. Doctor's coat on one arm, he reaches out to tap her on the shoulder.
She looks at him, the small smile on her face shifting immediately to a more business-like neutral face. "Good afternoon, Todoroki-san. Are you all right?"
"Yes," he says, even as he catches his breath. The cafe is busy, with people staring at them from all directions. He doesn't pay them any attention. He doesn't have the time. "I'm sorry Kodai, I can only spare an hour."
"Of course. My apologies," she says. She gestures for a seat at the far corner-a spot a little far from the others, no doubt so no-one can eavesdrop. He follows her, and so does the blonde barista, who places two coffee mugs in front of them and leaves immediately.
Once they settle down, Kodai wastes no time in speaking. "Todoroki-san, I understand that you have a very brief experience of pro-hero work," she says, without the usual hesitation that people seem to have when bringing up the past with him. "I would like to know if you have been involved in private investigations before."
He appreciates the no-nonsense approach she has. He decides to answer her as honestly as he can. "Private investigations. You mean those not involving the NPA, but private hero agencies only?"
"Yes."
"No," he replies. "I was Endeavor's sidekick when I resigned. He tends to work very closely with the police rather than not. And during my very short career, I only did patrols and two rescues."
One of them ending terribly. It's obvious that she's up to date though, with the sympathetic way her eyebrows crunch together.
"... all right," she says, with a thoughtful pause. "Still, I trust that you still remember the cases in which heroes are allowed to conduct private investigations."
He nods. There are limited circumstances where heroes are allowed to snoop around on their own without police supervision at the start. Basically, those circumstances that deal with quirk-related crimes, that tend to involve particularly violent villains, particularly violent pros-gone-rogue, and/or particularly violent vigilantes. "Which one are you investigating?"
"The Naruhata Vigilantes," she answers without hesitation. She must be sure that there isn't anyone interested enough in their conversation then, for her to answer so confidently. "Do you know anything about them at all, Todoroki-san?"
He shakes his head. He doesn't have time to be updated of the news. All he knows is that there are many villains, releasing Nomu at random and increasing civilian casualties.
"I see," Kodai says thoughtfully. "The ones we are investigating are self-styled heroes in what is admittedly a crime-riddled, densely populated area. While they are affecting the crime rate positively in that area, we pay special attention to them due to the destructive potential of their quirks."
Shouto nods. Dealing with vigilantes has been the topic of debate for decades, ever since the demarcation between them and heroes was set into place. The current consensus is to treat them as villains, despite the good they do, because who can trust any powerful man who has no-one to answer to? Good or not? Besides, today's vigilante can prove to be tomorrow's villain. Human motivations can be so fickle.
"There are a handful of them-about three or four individuals, give or take, who are well-known enough to warrant the attention of the civilians of that area. One of them in particular is of special interest to me and my team." She pauses again and looks right at him. He briefly senses the conflict in her eyes, flickering like a lamp. "And… perhaps to you, as well."
He doesn't feel any less uneasy. "Why?"
She inhales, seemingly makes an effort to arrange her words in her head. "We have reason to believe that… that one of the more prominent vigilantes in that area is related to the pro-hero Endeavor, somehow." Her fingers entwine in front of her, a little anxiously if Shouto were to guess. "I can't tell you the full details of how we came to that conclusion, however."
He can guess the reasons why-either her team knows too little, or knows too much. And implicating the involvement of Endeavor, the number one hero of Japan, in any crime is obviously not wise unless they have just enough information.
He wonders how they come to that conclusion, though. Endeavor is capable of many cruel things, but as far as Shouto knows, no-one else knows about the most cruel of them apart from his immediate family.
(That, and a previous investigation team, sworn to secrecy after Mom changed her mind about exposing everything. But the head of that team would never betray their trust…)
"I don't understand why you would approach me about this. Especially if it's more about Endeavor than the rest of us," he tells her with the straightest face he can muster. Tries to ignore the quiet anxiety boiling at the pit of his stomach. "I doubt that I am able to help you in any way."
"That's what I'm here to find out. I know you will be uncomfortable in talking about this," she says with an apologetic tone. "And I understand. For your family though, this might be important."
"... I see." He mulls this over in his head. Logically, there's no way their private family matters would be linked to those vigilantes in Naruhata. He can't think of any way the two things are related, but if they are...
No, they can't be. It's impossible. Right? There's no way that Touya-nii...
He decides that if her questions become too strange, he can refuse to answer them. He has that right, at least. "All right. I'll cooperate."
"Okay." There's an odd look in her eyes as she stares him down, already in an interrogatory mode. "Before we begin, I have an odd request, Todoroki-san."
Her hands come down on the surface of the table when she says, "I want to hold your hand."
He freezes and gives her an odd look.
"Please, indulge me," is all she says as an explanation. When he doesn't move, one of her hands quickly make its way on top of his right hand, strangely cold and impersonal when their skin makes contact. The sensation is so strange, it makes him more curious than anything, and he doesn't pull back.
Her dark eyes lock onto his, an almost-threatening glow behind them.
"Todoroki-san… are you related to a vigilante named Dabi?"
Her voice is so low that he hardly hears it. But he does, and in a word, he's… perplexed.
"... no. Not to my knowledge," he answers honestly.
Her mouth twists almost imperceptibly.
"I've never even heard of that name before," he adds, with an incredulous tone in his voice.
"Hm," she says, not letting her gaze waver. "How about the Pyromancer? An individual known for very powerful, high-temperature flames, hotter than even the most seasoned fire-quirk users are able to manage."
Her right hand fishes out a photo from one of her files-one that is blurry, but with some decipherable details. Shouto sees jet-black hair, black clothes, bright blue flames covering his exposed burnt skin and about five meters of the immediate area surrounding him. His eyes look blue, but it's hard to tell with all the blue around him. He seems to be glaring at something above them as he hangs in mid-air, leaping off a rooftop which might be in the Naruhata district.
He shakes his head. A consistent blue flame is very difficult to achieve. Shouto has only managed that briefly when he was a UA student, and it was so hot he passed out and had a high-grade fever for a week. Even Endeavor isn't able to manage that. Not without excruciating pain, at least.
He feels Kodai's hand twitch very slightly above his. With the most clinical tone she can manage, she asks, after a beat of silence: "Do you think this individual can be Todoroki Touya?"
He flinches at the name. Snaps his eyes to hers. Feels the change come over him, feels the cold in his eyes but steadies himself on time.
That person cannot be Touya-nii . Endeavor doesn't say much about his oldest brother, except for the fact that his constitution is too much like Mom's. A constitution that cannot handle high heat.
And most of all… His brother has flaming red hair and cold pale skin and a mischievous, but kind smile. His fire is warm and red and controlled. Not dangerous and wild, like this one.
Kodai stares at their point of contact for a short moment. Lifts her hand, rubs her fingers together. "Hm. It's not cold at all," she mutters under her breath.
He realizes, then, that she made that strange request to see if his hand gets cold, as it does when he's under emotional distress. As he has demonstrated and she most likely witnessed when he and Ochako encountered Endeavor, ages ago in the Pro-Heroes Gala.
Suddenly, things make more sense to him-why Kodai agreed to escort him in that gala, before he managed to get Ochako to go with him instead. Why she seemed oddly interested enough to help him out when they got in trouble. Why there's absolutely no effort from her agency to dispel the rumors of her supposed romantic interest in him. All of them concerted efforts to get closer to him, and to Endeavor, and possibly to this Dabi person whom Shouto has never heard of before.
As quickly as it came, though, the discerning glare in Kodai's eyes dies down, and she's back to her dark-eyed, blank-slate state. She bows her head, ever polite and proper. "Well… despite this, this is still an important finding in our investigation. I apologize for taking up your time, Todoroki-san."
He knows she's just doing her job earnestly. But the fact that she was willing to use him to get close to Endeavor is disorienting. "No, it's fine," he manages to say.
She bows again. "I understand any feelings of distrust you may have for me and my team at this moment. Nevertheless, I hope for your cooperation once more should the need arise."
He doesn't know how to feel about this yet. It's not Touya. Can't be. But it just means that Touya is still missing.
Still dead, in other words.
He exhales tiredly when Kodai keeps her eyes on the table between them.
Soon, his hour is up. He apologizes and moves to leave. She ends up doing the same, shaking his hand one last time before they walk out of the cafe.
Outside, he sees two people waiting for her-Fukidashi, the fellow with a speech balloon for a head, who recognizes him and goes ~ヾ(^∇^), making the whole tense exchange that just passed feel rather anticlimactic.
The other one, a guy with dark brown hair, dark eyes, a permanent scowl, and a professional camera around his neck, regards Shouto with barely concealed suspicion. The man's glare on him doesn't leave, not until Kodai leans in close and murmurs something he doesn't decipher.
He pays no further attention to the odd trio as he crosses the street and gets back to work.
Me (1829H): Are you all right, Ochako?
Ochako (1830H): yeah i am
Me (1831H): You sure?
Me (1832H): Please be honest with me
Me (1832H): Whatever is bothering you, I'd like to know. I'd like to help.
Ochako (1834H): Doctoroki
Ochako (1837H): Shouto, I mean
Ochako (1838H): When should we break up?
Ochako (1850H): Sorry for asking so suddenly
Ochako (1851H): i just… felt like maybe, its about time we talked about it
Me (1853H): I see.
Ochako (1854H): I mean we cant fake date forever
Ochako (1855H): not that i aint wanna help u anymore
Ochako (1856H): i jsut want to know when its time to do it. If its soon or if u want to go on and all.
Ochako (1857H): if theres a reason y we gotta do this. Any other reason to keep pretending
Ochako (1858H): like. Do we need to meet ur family or the press or whatever. Is there another grand party where u need a fake girlfriend. Anything like that at all. Or is there nothing else
Me (1859H): Ochako
Ochako (1900H): cos if there is, of course ill do my best for u… i mean i promised to be there for u, because u need me. So no one gets hurt right?
Ochako (1901H): just that… i gues m a lil lost haha. kinda confusd bout wat i stil need to do for u
Ochako (1902H): ah sorry for ramblin shouto. ? u were saying
Me (1905H): I think this is something we have to talk about in person.
Ochako (1906H): oh… but uve been so bsy
Ochako (1907H): me too tbh…
Me (1909H): I know. I'm really sorry about that
Me (1910H): It's just that, I feel that we have to talk about these things face-to-face.
Me (1911H): You seem troubled, and I'm a little concerned.
Ochako (1912H): oh no im fine n dandy hahaha
Ochako (1913H): just. Real tired prolly. Real confused. Things aint easy on my end either.
Me (1915H): I understand.
Me (1916H): Let's speak tomorrow. No matter what happens.
Ochako (1918H): … okay
Ochako (1919H): ill see u 2m.
Me (1920H): Okay.
Ochako (1943H): Okay.
Ochako (1945H): Thank you, Shouto. For understanding.
Me (2117H): Good night, Ochako.
Ochako finishes first and decides to wait for him at a nearby park. The sky is already dark and the moon high by the time he rushes there. He sees his breath in front of him when he runs to the bench where she sits, hands stuffed in a bright pink hoodie, still dressed in her scrubs and rubber shoes.
"I'm sorry," he says, as he catches his breath. "Have you been waiting long?"
She shakes her head, but the tired smile that she gives him tells otherwise. She shifts in her seat slightly, making room for him on the bench.
He falls next to her and looks at her carefully. She doesn't immediately say anything back, and instead watches the people moving along the walkway in front of them. Her face is completely still, but her hands are twisting on her lap, as if she's gathering all her courage to speak.
He wonders briefly why she would need courage when she's with him. What does she want to say that warrants such anxiety?
"Shouto," she says, after what seems like an eternity.
He turns his head to face her. Her brown eyes are heavy and downcast, shimmering prettily yet forebodingly under the lamplights like fire glowing underwater.
The moments before she speaks are just as heavy. "Do you think… that we're holding each other back?"
He clasps his unsure hands in front of him slowly, hot meeting cold, as he seriously ponders the question. And the reason behind it.
"I don't know," he answers, after a beat of silence.
"... I… think we do." He hears her exhale, feels the slight tumult in the air in front of them. "I'm sorry for being like this, Shouto. I haven't been honest with you, not at all. The truth is…"
He holds his breath, and he hears her hold hers too, when she braces herself to say it. His anxious brain fills the blanks between them:
I find you troublesome. I think you and your family and your scars and your history are too much for someone like me. Your burdens are too much for me to handle.
I'm in-love with someone else. I want to be with someone else. I can't, if you're here.
I've been holding myself back, because of you. Because of what you made me do.
I can't do this anymore.
She isn't speaking yet, but those words in her voice fill his head, stabbing him from the inside out like knives. He takes a deep breath and steadies himself and his shaking hand. Frost begins to form at the very ends of his fingertips, under his nails.
He hides this under his coat.
"... I'm having such a hard time," she finally says. There's a catch in her voice that makes him jolt, makes his left hand shoot out from his pockets and onto her back. She doesn't pull away, but she hides her eyes behind her hands and shrinks herself in her hoodie. "Work is so hard. Everything is so hard. Dealing with people who think I'm no good for you is hard, too. They think I'm… I'm holding you back, and they're probably right, because really, what can a girl like me do for someone like you?"
She continues to hide herself behind her hands. Shouto, without knowing what else to do or what words to say, instinctively puts both arms around her and holds her close.
Ochako presses her face into his coat. He feels the hot dampness of her tears seep through and burn his skin. "I'm also… so confused, Shouto… Ma and Pa love you… and Rei-san and Fuyumi-nee and Natsuo-nii, just… I feel so bad lying to them, I really don't know what to do-"
Guilt eats him from the inside out, but he doesn't let her go. Actively forcing the frost off his fingers, he warms himself and rubs comforting circles around her back. She continues to shake in his arms.
I don't know what to do either, he wants to say. The words die in his mouth, though. He's too afraid to voice it out, though. Too afraid to admit that he broke his promise of no-one getting hurt.
Instead, he says, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."
Because Ochako got hurt because of him, and he didn't even notice.
She sniffles, lets out a sob that sounds like "No, don't say that, you keep saying that, but-"
"Yes, it is." He pulls apart from her slightly, just enough that he can put his warm hand under her chin to lift it up. He meets her hazy brown eyes, sees the droplets of tears trail down her soft, pink cheeks.
She's a little surprised at his action, but he doesn't let her look away. "Ochako… I'm so sorry."
If I had just faced my problems on my own-if I had the good sense of not dragging you down with me-
"If I never had that stupid idea of making you go with me to the gala… If I never made you pretend-"
If I never made you pretend to love me
"... you didn't have to go through this. I'm so sorry."
She bites her lower lip and looks into his eyes quietly. "I'm the weak one, Shouto… I'm the one who got carried away. I mean… It's stupid," she says, letting a noise that's somewhere between a laugh and a choking sob escape from her mouth. "I keep telling myself that it's not a big deal, that none of this is real. That it should be easy to go back to feeling nothing for you, but…"
She stops mid-sentence, her mouth and eyes wide open in disbelief of the words that escaped from her, seemingly without consent. Then, her eyes go to his, and he sees fear and shame and a mess of other emotions, brimming to the edge with a new wave of tears-
"Don't," he says, in a voice so low and heavy that he almost doesn't hear it himself.
Ochako pales and moves to look away, but he holds her in place. Holds her closer, so close that he breathes in her shaky breath in his lungs, smells the cherry blossom scent of her hair, feels the heat of the blood flowing in her veins.
"Please, Ochako," he rasps in her ear, shameless and desperate because he has no other choice. He doesn't want to lose her. "Please don't go back to feeling nothing for me."
Because I won't be able to.
He feels her whimper in his chest. Slowly, she pulls back, the look of disbelief never leaving her face. "Shouto," she whispers in a breath that stills his heart.
He loosens his grip on his self control and dips his face closer to hers.
At first, he isn't sure what is happening. He can't quite believe that his lips are on hers and his hands are on her face their noses are colliding. His senses jolt and break and come back together with each new sensation, when the sharpness of her breath reaches his ears and the softness of her fingerpads thread through his hair, and the warmth of her body fights against his coldness.
This is real, he thinks, as they pull back to breathe and she gasps in his arms and throws her arms around his neck to kiss him again. She's here, really here, with me.
Ochako is here, and she's in Shouto's arms, and she's moaning against his lips like she belongs there, like she always has. He returns all of it, holds her close to him, afraid that if he ever lets go she'll slip away from his grasp and disappear for good.
Eventually they become breathless, and their lips reluctantly separate with a pop. Ochako looks up at him with those wide brown eyes, and he knows he's lost forever.
"I think you just made that impossible, Todoroki Shouto," she says, with a mischievous smile that betrays the puffiness of her eyes.
Shouto returns the smile, and presses his lips one more time against hers. God, he doesn't think he'll get enough of that.
He might try, though, once they leave the park and make their way to his home, in a punch-drunk rush.
AN: so. the rating will increase in the next chapter. hahahaha hahhhhhhhh
this chapter surprisingly mostly typed itself? a lot of shouto's feelings in the middle of the chapter feels biographical hahahaa. and in general i've been lookin forward to writing yui's part of the story, because she and unnamed surly camera man (haha jk it's obvs sen, it's been sen all along friends) are the stars of the 3rd part of this series! and im just. really excited to write that story too because i just really love 1B okay and i'll write for them even if very few people will read it hahaha
As for these two... i wonder if they really should have made out like that... because if you think they've already resolved shit... I'm sorry. They haven't yet T_T There will be struggles coming up so. Prepare thyself~
