They walked back into his place, her mind was on fixing the problem that Fusco and Shaw created, get this 'talk' over with, guaranteeing her a place in his life, and maybe get a good old fashioned make-out session. She hadn't had an opportunity to just enjoy kissing a man in a very long time. Judging from his gentle kisses she was sure his kisses were an art-form when he let loose and she deeply wanted to experience it.
"Thanks for letting me lean on you, John." She slid the torturous heels back off her aching feet. She nearly moaned in ecstasy as her feet got to breathe. He smiled in answer as he slid his coat off, hanging it up onto the coat rack before motioning for hers. She slid hers off before handing it to him for him to hang it next to his giant one. She undid the bullet-proof vest, sliding it from her body, watching as John did the same. Their eyes were on each other, but neither spoke. Since she learned about this bet, John seemed to be more quiet than normal.
"You know you don't have to waste your time," he spoke so quietly she wasn't sure what he said and he didn't look her in the eye.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean coming back here, Joss, you don't have to pretend."
"Pretend?" He took the vest from her hands, walking away. "Hey, mister, shoes off or I'll feel obligated to wear mine too! You don't want your date to suffer do you?" No resulting smile, not a glimmer of the John that was here before they got the call to go save their friends. No John that was with her BEFORE they learned about the bet. "Forget about it." She dropped the teasing tone.
"Forget about the fact that our friends find it amusing to bet on what happens between us?" He angrily threw the vests back into the closet. He had left the assault rifles in his trunk when there had been too many watchful eyes out near his parking lot of his complex.
"It's their prerogative, it's tacky but Shaw is callous at times and Fusco wasn't thinking. It's harmless, John." He slammed the door shut to the closet. "Why are you so upset?"
"Besides the obvious?-that something that means everything to me, they find it inconsequential enough to bet on?" he growled before turning away from her. In his anger did he have any idea what he was saying? She felt warmth spread through her body. He walked toward his living room area, where their glasses of champagne remained, where the box of éclairs sat, and where they had been going to do this talk. In their haste to go save their friends they remembered to shut the stereo off but had forgotten about the dimmed lights. The soft glow cast shadows across his profile, making him appear even more tense, foreboding, and anxious. But she looked past all that seeing the vulnerable cracks on his face, in his armor, and it made her more determined than ever to get through to him.
"How about we forget about their bet, have a great rest of our date, and have fun getting even with them?" she suggested as she followed him towards his living area where he turned away from her to peer out the window. If she could just get him back to the mood he'd been in before they had gone out tonight, it would be easy sailing for the rest of the night. "You could make Shaw take some boring cases when you are back at full strength while I can make Fusco grovel at my feet." While she bargained, her gaze rested on his butt. She continued her slow progress over to him. She saw the tension seeping out of him. Joss picked up the glasses of champagne for them before making her way further over to him. She stepped directly behind him. "Please, I want to finish our date. I'm not going to let them ruin it for us, please forget about it for tonight...for me."
"You're right," he murmured. She miscalculated just exactly how close she was standing behind him because, as he turned around, his elbow smacked her left hand that held one of the two glasses of champagne she was currently holding, knocking it right into her dress, making her squeal as the cool liquid splashed across her chest. She had to bite her lip to keep from bursting out into full blown laughter at John's look. His face turned bright crimson, even his ears were turning red. His wide eyed and his utter look of horror made the fact that she just got champagne spilt on her the best thing to ever happen to her. Because all the tension over 'the bet' was gone, his hands were immediately going for her chest but stopped when he realized what he was doing. Instead his hands went for the champagne glasses. "I'm so sorry!" his eyes didn't meet hers as his voice was low and embarrassed.
"It's my fault, I didn't realize I was standing quite so close behind you," she assured him, trying to calm his embarrassment. "Where's your bathroom?" He pointed and she nodded. "Do you have laundry unit in this place?"
"I have my own washer and dryer." He pointed to a room behind the stairs nearest his front door. See, this was why she needed a tour, she hadn't even known that room was there.
"Would you mind putting my dress in your washer and dryer?"
"I can?"
"Yes," she assured. "This dress doesn't need dry cleaners, John, I'd be out of luck if it was the red dress from the other night, but this one I've had for a few years now, it's been through my washer and dryer a few times." He nodded, hurrying away while still avoiding contact, while she turned to walk towards where he pointed for the bathroom. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise. John was going to have to give her something to wear and she felt like she could skip to his bathroom in delight. She felt like a damned teenager again with the hottest boy in school. She entered his bathroom, sliding the door shut and turned the light on. Definite manly bathroom, his electric shaver lay on the small vanity along with a comb, some hair spray cans, shaving cream, and his intoxicating cologne. She slid her dress off and was left standing in her white bra and thong panties. A girl could hope she'd get lucky, even came prepared with a dozen condoms in her purse in hopes that if John wanted to have sex with her they'd have some on hand. She heard a soft knock on the door. "Joss, I got you one of my dress shirts, and a pair of my workout shorts to wear." She opened the door a crack, taking the shirt and shorts he held through it.
She shut the door once he took her dress to go put it in the washer and she eyed the dress shirt he gave her. It was black and so soft. She wondered why he never wore it. She slowly pulled his shirt on before buttoning it. The damn thing hung on her, the sleeves were well longer than her hands, making her roll them up. She flicked her hair out from under the shirt before fixing it a bit. She eyed his workout shorts, deciding that there was no way that these were going to stay on her hips, but she'd try. She pulled them up, before comically they fell down her hips. Well, she tried. She stepped back before bending to pick them up. She eyed the mirror and frowned a bit. She didn't look nearly as good in the shirt as she was sure John would. Well, this date was taking one unexpected turn after another, but she was going to go all out and be a sultry seductress in his shirt. "Go get him, girl, " she whispered to herself as she squared her shoulders before looking away from the mirror, grabbing the doorknob, and exiting the bathroom, determined to get an honest to goodness kiss from the man.
Way to go, way to ruin a date; he didn't even have to worry about Shaw and Fusco's bet ruining it for him. He did it himself when he spilled champagne all over her. Good way of trying to overcome your self-doubt that you shouldn't be anywhere near her, he felt like a total klutz. With Zoe, Kara, hell even with Jessica he had never been so nervous and klutzy around them, why her? Because you're not good enough for her and you're trying to be with her anyway, his mind berated him. He crouched on the floor cleaning up the mess; he was so intent on beating himself up internally over what happened he didn't hear her come back into the room.
"You got me out of my dress on a second date, although not exactly the way I was hoping." He looked up and stared. He couldn't help it. His cock jerked, not from her words but because she stood before him with just his black dress shirt on as it engulfed her petite frame. The bottom reached the tops of her thighs, the sleeves she had rolled at her wrists so they didn't cover her hands, and her long dark hair was flowing over her shoulders. "Thanks for your workout shorts, but they didn't exactly stay on my hips." He cleared his throat, looking away, desperately needing a distraction as all the blood was flowing south. His clothes on her looked hot as hell.
"Uh-yeah, sorry about spilling champagne on you," he murmured, looking down and resuming cleaning his floor.
"It's okay, it was my fault anyway." He could feel her presence close by. He slowly stood to his full height, turning but purposely keeping his eyes off her as he made a beeline for his trash bin.
"Your dress is in the washer." He kept preoccupied by taking his time throwing away the paper toweling he used to clean up the mess.
"Thanks, so John…" he turned slowly mentally preparing himself for seeing her in his clothing. Nope, it didn't work. He wondered if she could tell that his cock was hardening painfully as he looked at her. She was seated on his couch, her legs pulled up under her, her right hand resting under her cheek while the other patted beside her on the couch. "Come here." When no reason came to him as to why he couldn't, he cleared his throat and walked towards her. He could do this, he could sit next to her on the couch while she looked like some damned goddess, and talk with her. He slowly sat down beside her. "Okay, seriously, John, please take your shoes off, I'm not even in my dress anymore, I'm feeling a little under dressed here."
"Sure," his eyes dipped to her breasts that he could see a hint of under his shirt. His eyes quickly fled to his shoes. He had them undone and off with his socks remembering her comment about thinking of him sexy barefoot in a matter of moments, before he leaned back. She had taken the time to pour more champagne in the one glass and held his out to him.
"A toast to the rest of our date going exactly as planned."
"I'll drink to that." He sure hoped nothing else like getting called away by Shaw and Finch, or spilling champagne all over her would happen. "So, would you like that tour?"
"Later." He eyed his watch seeing it closing in on ten-thirty, going to save Fusco, Shaw, and Leon had taken over an hour. "I want dessert." His eyes lit up. He had wanted one of those damned éclairs since she brought them. He did have an almost embarrassing weakness for chocolate.
"Thought you'd never want one." He leaned forward, pulling the lid off the box, grabbing a delicious looking éclair to hand her. Before he could move forward again she stopped him. She held the one in her hand, her body was angled towards his and he knew instantly what she wanted. "Joss, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?" Because it was way too intimate, because he was trying to ignore his arousal at seeing her in his clothes, because feeding each other would lead to him wanting to kiss her and not a simple brushing of their lips. She moved closer to him, his eyes were on her, seeing the desire radiating from them, and he opened his mouth. She moaned softly as she slid about half the éclair into his open mouth; he bit down and sighed. These damn things were delicious. He opened his eyes before scowling as she popped the rest of the éclair into her mouth. "What?" she asked after swallowing the dessert.
"Oh so you can feed me, but I can't feed you?" She shrugged.
"It's insanely hot feeding and watching you eat, John." He leaned forward grabbing an éclair out of the box withholding it from her outstretched hand. "Fine, one." He leaned into her, holding out the éclair for her and she opened wide as her eyes were on his. She bit down, taking some into her mouth before chewing. Her tongue flicked out to lick at the chocolate on her top lip. That was it. He threw the half eaten éclair back into the box, standing up and escaping her. "What's wrong?"
"You're making this so damned difficult."
"I'm making what difficult?"
"Joss, I'm trying to wait, but you are making it damned near impossible to not want to kiss you, to tear your clothes off, and be inside you." He ground out. He realized his voice was getting louder with each word so he forced himself to relax. "You're not just sex for me."
"I never thought I was. I hate to tell you this but your eyes give you away, John. I know how you feel about me, I know I'm more than just a sexual conquest for you." She slowly stood up. Did that mean what he thought it meant? Did she know he was in love with her and she came on this date anyway?
"Do you know what I wanted to talk about before we were interrupted?" he asked very quietly.
"Yes, you are determined to push me away and I'm not having any of it." He blinked in surprise. He hadn't been going to push her away. In the past it would have been what he would have done if he hadn't opened up to her in the morgue or on their first date. But he was determined to try to shed old habits that died hard, he wanted her, he loved her. "When you get hurt you run away, when people get too close you run away, well John, it's time to stop running away. You've been running for so long you don't know anything else and I get that, I do, but you should know if you run I'll follow."
"I wasn't going to push you away."
"Uh-huh,"
"That's the truth, Joss." He tried to snuff the growing irritation that she wouldn't believe him. After everything he told her on the first date, did she really think he would turn around and run away?
"What about after you learned about the bet, you sure seemed ready to push me away after that?"
"I knew about the bet before the date took place, I almost cancelled it but I didn't because I am so tired of being alone. I wanted to see you tonight." She moved forward to stand directly in front of him. He towered over her, making her lean her head back as she crossed her arms across her chest and he wanted to grab her.
"So why were you so upset when we got back here?"
"I got angry when Shaw mentioned it because I had forgotten about it, it was like a distant memory and when she announced needing me to bang you tonight, it just reminded me that everyone knows it's a joke to think a woman like you could want to be with a man like me." He helplessly shrugged. It was how he felt. He knew she could have any guy she wanted, yet she chose to share her time with him, he felt honored. It was now or never, he cleared his throat. "Joss, I…" but his declaration was interrupted with her jabbing her index finger hard into his belly angrily.
"No, John, I don't want to hear it! That's not my opinion, it's your opinion of yourself! You're allowing this bet to get into your head because it reaffirms in your mind that you aren't good enough for me. Why not allow me to choose whether you're good enough or not for me? Because you know I'd choose to be with you! You're not this terrible monster that should be locked up, because he's a terror to everyone he meets, you're just a man that has lived a hard life. It's time to grow up, stop running away from your life, and live it with me." He opened his mouth to argue the point that he wasn't going to run from her, that if she'd stop yelling at him he could tell her he loved her, but she stood up on her tip toes, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.
He sucked in a breath as his hands landed on her hips while she pulled his head down so it was easier for her to kiss him. Her lips were incessant on his, her pelvis bumped his which seemed to make his brain take a serious hit at functioning correctly. He broke the kiss, pushing back.
"Now will you let me speak?" he demanded.
"As long as it doesn't go along these lines," she paused, lifting her hand up to drive home her point as she gave him her stipulations. "Joss I don't want to be with you, Joss I'm not good enough for you, Joss you should leave, and or Joss let's just be friends. If you so much as utter one of those, that fine ass of yours is mine." He felt his lips twitch. "Are you laughing?" she snarled and his urge to snicker fled.
"No," he said solemnly.
She nodded as she crossed her arms across her chest. "Good, now what do you want to say?"
"What I want to tell you, what I want to discuss with you is not about me pushing you away or me telling you that I just want to be your friend, Joss. I'm not sure if I can ever go back to being just your friend, too much has happened and what I feel for you is not friendship."
"Okay, this is good." She smiled softly. "You may continue."
"You're beautiful, intelligent, a smart ass, you keep me on my toes, and you make me strive to be a better man."
"John you do that yourself because you are a good man, you just need to believe in yourself again." She reached out to touch him but he grabbed her hand in his. "So far everything you're saying is almost too good to be true, so where's the other shoe?"
"What?"
"When will the other shoe drop, where is the BUT that I can hear coming from a mile away."
"You're a pessimist."
She laughed he was pleased he could make her laugh like that. "Try realist, John."
"No, I was right the first time, you're a pessimist and you always have to be right. I guess that's the stubborn thing you talked about. It's okay though, I love you despite it," he whispered.
"Oh really now, you love me despite me being a pessimist and stubborn. Well look who's talking, Mr. Doom and Gloom all the time; who, by the way, is more stubborn than a mule!" she sniffed. He waited, wondering how long he'd have to wait for her to comment on the fact that he said he loved her. Her eyes suddenly widened when it finally slid home what he said. Her hand tightened in his. "John?"
"Joss, I love you." Her mouth opened and he put his finger against her lips to quiet her. "Let me finish okay, please." She nodded slowly and he dropped his finger down. "Just because I love you, doesn't mean I expect you to say it back, to feel pressured by me, because that's not my intention. I just wanted you to know that I love you, I think I fell for you the second I met you. You impacted my life so greatly, so profoundly in that moment, Joss, that every time our paths crossed since I fell deeper and more in love with you."
"Can I speak now, John?"
"Yes."
"Are you positive?"
"Are you asking me if I'm positive I love you?"
"Yes, because, John, you're not exactly an emotionally available guy, you hide your feelings. Are you ready to let me in fully, are you sure?"
"I'm not saying it will be easy for me, Joss, it's been a long time for me to care or be cared about. But I'll try my hardest for you, because you're worth the risk, and I want to be with you." He pressed his lips against hers, softly at first before he deepened the kiss, lovingly and tenderly kissing her before stepping back. "I'll do anything for you."
"I know."
"So you're willing to take your time with me, Joss?"
"Of course, John. I love you too, you know." He smiled crookedly.
"Yeah, so is that why you gave me that list of demands?"
"Maybe," she wrapped her arms around his neck. "So, John, this is the first night of our rest of our lives together, what are we going to do with it?" she purred.
"I'm sure we can figure something out."
"I'm sure we can, with our two brains we can figure something to do together." He leaned down capturing her lips with his, ready to show her exactly what she meant to him, and it felt like he started a new life. Replacing his old life with this new one, he was ready to live his life to the fullest with this woman by his side, forever and always.
Author's note: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww yay a happy ending for our babies :) I wanted to have a solid ending for those who will not continue to chapter 9 when I change the rating to M for the smut. I know there are some that hate reading smut, who might have been reading this since chapter 1 and I felt everyone deserves a nice ending. And for those who are patiently waiting for the smut...chapter 9 will be posted sometime today. I want to give both endings today since you guys have been so patient for the smut, I surely hope it is worth the wait :)
Thank you for reading, and if you are finished here I appreciate the time you took to read my story, leave a comment, follow, favorite or what have you. I adore you guys XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
And for those who will continue to chapter 9:be prepared for warnings at the beginning, I've been told its kind of hot :D
