Selina Kyle parked her car in front of the non-descript restaurant and pulled out her cell phone.
"Holly? Hi, it's me. Just wanted to let you know I'm bringing home some carryout from this little hole-in-the-wall I found a few days ago called Campbell's. They have some great lasagna."
"Lasagna from a place called Campbell's?" Holly asked. "Sounds more like an Irish stew place to me."
Selina laughed and said, "No, it's Italian. Maria Campbell's maiden name was Gabrielli."
"Well, whatever you get, get a lot of it. That new stray you picked up a couple nights ago has been eating everything in sight."
"That would be the fat orange one, right?" Selina said. "Seems like all he does is eat and sleep. Anyway, I'll be there in about 15."
Fifteen minutes later on the dot, she walked through the apartment door with a large pan that was giving off a delightful aroma. She set the pan down on the kitchen counter and turned to take off her coat. She pulled a couple of plates out of the cupboard and was ready to start scooping the lasagna out when an orange flash flew through the kitchen and jumped on the counter. Just as the cat was about to tear the foil off the top of the pan, Selina picked him up by the scruff of the neck and put him on the floor.
"This isn't your food," she scolded him, pointing toward the large bowls of cat food that took up the better part of the floor at the base of the kitchen's far wall. The cat sniffed at the bowls and promptly returned to the kitchen counter, this time reaching a fat paw onto Selina's plate.
"Hey, I said no!" she said sharply, and deposited him on the floor again. He looked around for a moment before sauntering out of the kitchen. Selina finished filling her plate and was about to do the same for Holly when she heard a crash from the next room.
Holly's voice rang out, "I could use a hand here."
Selina put down the plates and hurried into the living room to find Holly standing in the middle of a large pile of books and trying to hold up the bookcase they used to be on. Between the two of them, they got the bookcase righted again, and Selina asked, "What happened?"
"That *!#%^& orange furball happened, that's what!" Holly snapped. "He came out here, climbed up on the window sill, and started pushing until the bookcase tipped."
"Alright, cat, that's about enough," Selina said, looking around for the guilty feline. "Where did he go anyway?"
"Maybe he took a long walk off a short pier," Holly said. "Forget him, though. I'm starved."
"Same here," Selina agreed. "We'll pick up the books later."
She and Holly went back to the kitchen to find the orange cat perched on the counter, eating the lasagna out of the pan as fast as he could.
Selina picked up the cat, and looking him straight in the eye, was about launch into a stern lecture when the doorbell rang. She handed the cat to Holly and answered the door.
"Hi, I'm Jon Arbuckle, and I'm looking for Garfield, my cat. Somebody told me that the lady who lived in this apartment took in strays, and so he might be here." He paused before adding (in what he must've considered a suave tone of voice), "They didn't tell me the lady would be so good-looking, though."
Selina sighed and called out, "Holly, bring me the orange cat. There's somebody here to claim him." Then taking the cat from Holly, she thrust him into Jon's arms and said, "Here, and you're welcome to him. By the way, you owe me one pan of lasagna."
Jon raised his eyebrows, and while he re-asserted his hold on Garfield, he asked, "Is that an invitation? I'd love to take you out for some Italian cuisine."
"I beg your pardon?" Selina replied, more than a little incredulously.
Jon obliviously continued, "You know, I've heard that Italian food is the unspoken language of love."
Between clenched teeth, Selina half-growled, "Holly, have you seen my whip?"
"Oooh, kinky," Jon oozed. "I'm generally more of a Mr. Romance, myself, but for a beautiful woman…."
Selina took a deep breath, and the hard edge on her face immediately softened as she leaned seductively against the doorjamb.
"I'd be honored to go to dinner with a man so ... refined ... as you," she cooed breathlessly. "But the place I had in mind, well, you're just not dressed for that place. I have just the thing for you, though. Let me have your shirt and pants, and I'll bring it to you."
Jon showed remarkable agility in removing his shirt and pants without losing his hold on Garfield, and standing there in his t-shirt and boxers, and he handed the clothes to Selina.
She took them, whispered, "I'll be right back," and closed the door. A moment later, she opened the door just wide enough to slip her arm through, and handed him a gift bag before closing the door again.
Holly giggled and watched through the peephole as Jon pulled a bright orange jumpsuit out of the bag. He held it up and Holly read on the back of it the stenciled words, "Property of Arkham Asylum." She doubled over laughing and turned around in time to see Selina toss Jon's shirt and pants out the window.
"Holly", Selina said, "I'm going to take a shower. Would you call Mr. Wu's for delivery? I'm not in the mood for Italian anymore."
