A/N: Every time I update a chapter, I keep forgetting to include an author's note! Haha. I just wanted to thank everyone that's been reading and especially reviewing! I really appreciate the feedback, which for the most part, has been greatly positive. I haven't been around this site in a very long time and I know a lot of people don't read 7th Heaven anymore, but I just want to say thanks to everyone that has stuck around. Here's a new chapter. Enjoy!
Eight
Silence fell in the room once the kiss had ended, and Ruthie felt completely at ease in Martin's arms. She had forgotten about everything that she had been through and realized that all her pain was instantly rendered insignificant. The old adage rang true for her at this moment: good things really were worth waiting for.
"Why now?" she asked quietly, still snuggled up against him. She hadn't wanted to interrupt this perfect moment, but the question had been continually running through her thoughts.
Martin was silent for a moment and Ruthie wondered if he was ever going to answer her. Did she do something wrong? Did he regret kissing her?
His chest rose as he took a breath, then fell as he spoke, "You know, I don't know why… There's just something about you that I find incredibly irresistible."
"Well, why couldn't you have realized that before?" she asked, playfully.
"Because, I never felt like that before towards you. It's just something about how much you care about me, like you're so sincere with everything you do, like you'd do anything to make me happy, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. I never realized it until you starting coming around again. You're intelligent, you're responsible, and you even turned down your old boyfriend for someone that a future with wasn't even a possibility," Martin explained, then he laughed, "A lot of this isn't based on last night, but for the most part, you're someone that I could see myself serious with, in a couple years."
"'A couple years'?" Ruthie repeated, pulling back and tried to catch his eye, but he looked away. "What do you mean, 'a couple years'?"
"We can't be together right now, as much as I care about you. I know it's not something you want to hear, and maybe I shouldn't have kissed you, but I had to show you how I feel."
"And yet, your words contradict your actions."
"Ruthie, I love you, but I can't be with you right now. I can't be with anyone right now, even if I wanted to. I have a little boy that I need to take care of and honestly, I don't want that for you. You deserve to go to college and have a life. I don't want to tie you down."
"Tie me down," she begged, "Tie me down, please! Don't just give me something and then just take it away!"
Martin put his hands on Ruthie's shoulders. "Ruthie, you have you whole life ahead of you. You have college to look forward to. You can be anything you want to be, and you honestly have so much light and potential in you. Even if you're ready to be a mother to my child, I don't want that for you. Maybe some time in the future, but not right now."
Ruthie shook her head. "I can't believe this. Why do you have to make everything so complicated?"
"Because there's no other way for it to be, it is complicated. Just think about what I've said, okay? Think about it long and hard, and try to come to a rational decision."
Ruthie's eyes narrowed and she swung her legs out from under the blankets and over the edge of the bed. Spotting her clothes on the floor, she grabbed them in one swift motion and went to the door. Without looking back, she said over her shoulder, "I don't know why you continually cause me pain, but I will never forgive you for this, Martin Brewer."
Her hand was on the doorknob when something stopped her. Was he…laughing?
She spun around, fully intending to tell him off, but the image of seeing him cracking up, holding his sides because he was laughing so hard, actually forced her to smile, but she tried to stop.
"What can possibly be so hilarious?" she demanded, trying to sound angry, which she was, but her anger was quickly fading away.
"You're just – so – dramatic," Martin breathed in between laughs.
"You're being very insulting, and, not to mention, very inconsiderate," she retorted.
He sat up, his laughter finally subsiding. "I know, I know. I'm sorry," he said, getting up and coming to stand in front of her. She looked up at him as he wiped his eyes, which had watered from laughing so hard. "Please, don't be upset at me and please try to understand. I just want what's best for you. It's not fair for me to ask you to completely stop your life to live mine, and I won't let you. You deserve better."
Ruthie sighed, unable to find the will to argue. "Yeah, I guess I understand what you're saying. It's just that I've been waiting so long, and I just want to be with you so badly, that I just wasn't thinking about anything else beyond that."
"I want to be with you, too, Ruthie," he said.
"You mean that?" she asked.
"More than anything I've ever meant in my life," he answered, running a hand over her hair. "I love you."
She could have melted into a puddle of mush right on the spot, but she kept her composure. "I love you, too. But what does that even mean anymore? You don't want to be together right now, and who knows, by the time you decide you're ready to be with someone, you probably won't even want to be with me."
Martin shook his head. "There's no way that would ever happen. You're the one I want. No one else is even on my radar. And besides, I just said I didn't want to be together, I didn't say that we couldn't date every now and then. As long as you don't go kissing random guys or old boyfriends, that is."
Ruthie gave a small laugh, even as guilt crept up inside her about Peter. "I won't. I promise. We'll be exclusive."
Martin kissed her. "Good," he said. "Now, go get changed and get out of here. I have to go get Aaron from Lucy. She's had him since last night. Don't worry," he said as he saw the anxiety appear on Ruthie's face. "She doesn't know about your little adventure."
Ruthie expelled the breath she had been holding and was about the head out of the room to go change, but Martin was saying something else.
"But you might want to talk to Simon…"
Memories of the previous night instantly came flooding back and the hateful words she had said to her brother rang loudly in her ears. She gave a nod to Martin in agreement and headed to the bathroom.
The look on Simon's face had been horrible. She didn't know if all the sincere apologies in the world could take away the sting of someone so close to you saying they hated you. Hell, she didn't even know if he would even listen to her long enough so she could apologize. It wouldn't matter how sorry she was then.
Ruthie bid Martin goodbye and headed back across the street, showered, sober, and ready to swallow what was left of her pride.
