He sat alone at the bar downing glass after glass of he didn't care what. This had been his routine for the last few nights. In the daytime, though he hadn't been himself, still joined the effort to stop Zelena. At night, however, he couldn't sleep, unable to shut out the demons. Ever since his conversation with Emma, there was a sense of hopelessness that lingered in the pit of his stomach. In one way, he knew that he had sown a life of debauchery and was reaping a harvest of mistrust. In another way, he was just pissed as hell that despite his best efforts, he was still being regarded as a villain.

He heard the faint tick-tock from the clock on the wall and the buzz of the neon sign.

Killian poured himself another glass. These days, it was taking a hell of a lot longer for him to dull his sorrow and drown out the voices.

In the distance, he heard footsteps approaching from down the hall. At this hour, he knew those soft footsteps could only be one person. He wondered what she could possibly want with him. She had had more opportunities to talk with him over the past few days but she hadn't taken them. When they interacted, their conversations were brief and polite.

The interior door to the diner swung open and he heard the footsteps stop behind him. There was a tense pause. Her voiced sounded abruptly, wavering with anger. "You have no right to do this."

He didn't even turn to face her.

"Do what exactly?"

"To drink yourself into oblivion every night and ignore what's happening while the Wicked Witch is cooking up a plot to change the past so that my family never existed!"

Tossing another drink back, he replied, "Mm. Afraid I do, love."

He still wouldn't face her.

She moved around to his side. Her voice got louder as her frustration grew.

"Do you realize you're letting everyone down- we need you Hook!"

His elbow resting on the bar, he turned to look at her.

"Is that so?" There was no effort from him to soften the delivery of his arrogant words. He was done with the simpering, love-sick boy routine. None of it mattered now anyway.

She had picked the wrong time to corner him. Blame it on the alcohol or the days of frustration, but he was certainly fit to be tied. He was pulling no punches tonight.

He stared in to his glass as he swirled around its amber contents.

"And who are you to lecture me about what I should or shouldn't be doing for the sake of you and your family, Emma?"

"I thought you cared-"

"About you? I care a great deal about you, Emma."

His tone was dark as he finally met her gaze.

"And yet," he set his drink down and leaned closer to her, "none of you give a damn about me. Even as I've proven my loyalty time and time again, you and your 'charming' parents were awfully quick to turn on me instead of having faith that I was telling the truth. And when you knew of Zelena's plan, you didn't hesitate to blame and accuse me. You were all just waiting for a reason not to trust me."

"You are a pirate Killian, do you not remember that?"

"Yes! A pirate!"

He stood from his stool as he gestured wildly with his hands, his voice dripping with venomous sarcasm. A terrible smile played on his face.

"Thank you for reminding me who I truly am- what every person in this BLOODY town sees me as."

He stepped closer to her, and though he could tell she wanted to step back, she stood her ground. His intense blue eyes bore into hers as he spoke his impassioned words.

"I have sailed to the ends of the earth for you, to a place I'd vowed never to return, saved the life of the man you loved as well as the life of your father, ended my quest for vengeance against Henry's grandfather, forfeited my life of piracy and SOLD MY BLOODY SHIP to show you the depth of my love, and yet you still question my motives!"

His voice built into a raging crescendo before finishing with a cold, quiet realization.

"But now, it's clear to me; I finally understand. I know that no matter what I do, it will never be good enough for you. I will never measure up."

Killian stepped away from her to grab his bottle from the bar, letting it swing wildly between his careless fingers. He took a long swig as he spoke again, this time louder and with a humorless grin stretching across his face.

"And you asked me why I left the Enchanted Forrest. Isn't it quite obvious, love? It's because these damn heroes will always count my sins against me. I will always be regarded with contempt and mistrust. And you know what love, if i'm going to be treated like a pirate, I may as well be a fucking pirate!" He was shouting again.

With that, Killian strode decisively toward the door to head back to his room. He paused before exiting, his back to her. He turned back around to face Emma, who was standing wordlessly near the bar.

He spoke again, this time with tears in his eyes and a lump in this throat.

"I will fight for you, Emma. I will do whatever it takes to save you and your family, even if it costs me my life, because I am in love with you. But don't you dare tell me what I can and can't do because we both know, when this is all over, I'll be nothing more to you than a worthless pirate from a bad dream."

He turned and left her standing in the middle of the darkened diner and as he pushed through the door, he thought he heard her whisper, "I'm sorry."


You tell 'er Hook! Hopefully things look up for our pirate captain from here. I think they will ;)