Chapter Seven
Amegakure, Akatsuki Headquarters; Sada
I curled up in a ball on my side, staring at the wall in thought. I didn't understand why this had to be happening, why the Akatsuki leader wanted me in the ranks of this organization. Why would someone do something so cruel as to use another's love against them and force them to do something that they didn't want part of? Things such as this always wound up happening to me, no matter how much I tried to avoid them. Now, I was trapped here with no escape. Kankuro, Temari, Baki, Sunagakure, I'd never see any of it again. The only time I would, was as an enemy rather than an ally. Why did this have to be my life, why was my life so horrible and complicated? Why was it when I was feeling like everything was beginning to get better, something had to come along and ruin all my happiness? I'd gained one thing throughout all this heartbreak and strife, Deidara. But even though I was with the Akatsuki, I didn't completely have him. I was more like a captive here, rather than a member of this feared organization. The leader had given me a position in their ranks as the tenth member but I still had this damned contraption around my wrist, stopping me from molding my chakra. I was more a prisoner than anything and I knew that even if I managed to get stronger, I would never manage to escape from this place.
I felt a few stray tears slip down my cheeks and wiped them away with the back of my hand, my eyes falling on the ring occupying my left pinky. The jewel on the ring was dark purple and the symbol was yoru, night. I didn't know the significance of the rings all the members wore but the Akatsuki leader had made it clear that I was not to lose the ring, so they must've been rather important. After a few short discussions, most of which I did not participate in, a blue haired woman had showed me to the room I would be staying in. I recognized her from her orange eyes, she'd been the one to stop my attack back in the cave, I learnt that her name was Konan. She seemed to be slightly withdrawn from conversation but she was a polite enough person, she'd given me a good number of instructions and explanations about how the organization functioned. One of the rules, that greatly confused me, was that we had to wear nail polish. Apparently it had been Konan's idea in the beginning and been turned into a rule by the leader, I honestly thought it was slightly funny that a criminal organization was wearing nail polish. After she'd left me, I'd decided to paint my nails a red color that matched rather well with my eyes. I'd also been giving my own black cloak with the red cloud design, a bamboo hat, and a uniform that I had to wear under the cloak. This entire organization made no sense to me, it was so confusing. I mean, really, NAILPOLISH?
I sighed softly at the thoughts, not succeeding in putting myself in a better mood and sat up in the bed, reaching over the side. I brought my bag off the floor, setting it infront of me. I was surprised that Sasori had been kind enough to bring my bag with them when they'd kidnapped me but I was still happy that I had all my most prized possessions. I went through the small pocket in the front of the bag, pulling out a necklace. It was simple thing, a white crystal but it meant so much to me. Haku had given this to me when I was nine years old, before I was sold to Orochimaru. This was the only thing I had left of the boy that had been my best friend throughout my childhood, the first boy to steal my heart. His death had brought so much pain to me, so much tragedy, I missed him everyday but I knew he was in a far better place than myself. I felt a small smile tug at my lips and tied the necklace around my neck, continuing to look through the small pocket. I felt my smile widen when my hand closed around something, pulling it out my bag. The silver charm bracelet Deidara had bought me years ago, the very first present I'd ever received from him. A total of three charms were hanging on the bracelet, all from the closest people to me. The blue butterfly, from Deidara. The red heart, from Sasuke. The kanji for love…Gaara.
I felt a stab of pain in my chest and grabbed the area over my heart, tangling my fingers in the material of my shirt. I clenched my teeth, my eyes were burning from the tears I was trying to hold back. I couldn't let myself cry, I just couldn't. Gaara was in a better place just like Haku was, he wasn't in pain anymore. He could be happy where he was, not having to deal with people being afraid of him because of the Ichibi. It was gone, he was free from it and would never have to deal with the pain again. I felt a small smile come to my lips at the thought and fully opened my bag after I put my bracelet around my free wrist, my hand touched a picture frame. I sighed softly and pulled the picture out, staring at it blankly. The second picture I'd ever taken in my life, back in Konohagakure…when there was still a Team 7. Kakashi was standing behind the four of us, smiling under his mask. Sakura was sitting on my left, looking extremely cheerful. Naruto was standing next to Sakura, flashing a peace sign and grinning his normal goofy grin. Standing on my right was Sasuke, a small smile on his lips and his arm swung loosely around my shoulders. Me, I had the smallest smile on my face and a slight blush from the contact with Sasuke. This was taken after the Chunin Exams, we'd needed to get a different picture made of us since I joined their squad after they'd taken their first team picture. It was the only picture I had of my old squad, I missed those times when everything wasn't as complicated as it was now.
I felt the smile on my lips widen at the sight of Sasuke's rare smile and set the picture on my bedside table, going through my bag again. My hand touched another frame, I pulled it out to look at it. My smile widened, the third picture I'd ever taken, the Suna siblings. This was taken some time after I'd set out from Konohagakure, when I'd went back to Suna after my traveling was finished. All three of the Suna siblings were in this picture, as well as myself. Temari was standing on my right, an amused look on her face. Kankuro was standing next to his older sister, his normal cocky smirk on his lips. Gaara was standing on my left, the normal stoic expression on his face. I had my arm looped through his, a small smile on my lips. Although Gaara had appeared to be a cold and emotionless person, in reality, he hadn't been. When we'd become friends back during the Chunin Exams, I'd learned so much about him through our conversations. He'd had such a horrible past, all the shunning and hatred he'd went through as a child. He'd just wanted to be loved by someone, cared for, appreciated. That's what I had given him when we'd become friends, and his emotions began breaking through his emotionless shell after a good while. I owed Gaara for helping me like he had, for showing that I wasn't the only person that was looked at as though they were unwanted. We were so alike, it was tearing me up at the thought of having lost him.
I sighed softly, forcing to keep in my tears and set the picture beside the other on my bedside table. I dug through the bag again, my hand touching the last picture frame I had in my possession. I pulled the picture out, a smile came to my lips at the sight of it…Deidara and myself. We'd had this picture made before the third round of the Chunin Exams had come around, we'd been dating about two weeks at the time. Deidara was standing behind me, hugging me around the waist with his chin set on my left shoulder, his normal grin on his lips. I was smiling a little, a blush on my cheeks and hugging his arms that were wrapped around me. When we'd had the picture made, the female photographer had thought we were so cute together, a perfect couple. I still thought that to this day, Deidara was the most amazing man and so much more than I deserved. I knew that I didn't deserve to call someone as amazing as Deidara my own, but he was mine and I was his. We loved each other, more than anything in the world. I knew that had he never come into my life, I would still be unable to smile. He'd been the reason that I'd smiled, for the first time in a good number of years, I'd been able to smile because of him. He was the reason that I breathed, the reason that I lived, the reason I was able to keep myself from falling into despair. Sometimes I wished…that I could say he was my only reason.
I looked away from the picture when there was a light knock at my door and moved up from my bed, placing the picture down. I crossed the room of my floor and stopped infront of the door, taking a hold of the brass handle and slowly opened it. I peaked around the door, a small smile came to my lips when I saw Deidara standing there.
"Dei." I whispered, a smile formed on his lips.
"Can I come in hm?" he asked with a teasing tone, I felt my cheeks heat up and quickly nodded.
I opened the door wider, allowing him to step inside my room. I shut the door and turned to face him, a blush setting on my cheeks when he pressed his lips against my forehead. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his torso, hugging him tightly. I giggled softly when his fingers ran through my hair, his hand cupping my cheek.
'Wait a second…how can he be stroking my hair and touching my face at the same time? Could he have…'
"Your arm." I said softly, he nodded in agreement.
"Sasori no danna reattached it for me." he told me, I nodded a little.
"Does it work right?" I questioned, he shrugged.
"It needs more time to heal, so it may be a little while hm." he said, kissing my cheek. "Kakuzu-san attempted to reattach it for me but Sasori no danna wasn't pleased with the result, so he wound up unstitching it then reattaching it…again hm."
I giggled softly at his confused tone of voice and placed a kiss on his cheek, running my fingers through his bangs. He chuckled softly and scooped me up into his arms, I made a quiet eep noise in surprise. He laughed heartily and carried me across the room to the bed, gently setting me down. I smiled slightly when he sat beside me, his visible eye flicked to the picture frames I had set out on my bedside table. I felt uneasy feeling settle in my stomach as he looked over them, he finally turned his face back in my direction after a minute or so.
"That's your old team, right hm?" he questioned, I knew which picture he was referring to.
"Hai…I miss them." I whispered, rubbing my arm self-consciously. "I mean…I really didn't get along all that well with Naruto and Sakura. Kakashi-sensei was okay, he didn't understand me that well though. Sasuke…"
I stopped, my words felt caught in my throat. I lowered my eyes, playing with a few strands of my blue violet hair. I glanced up when Deidara's hand cupped my cheek, looking up into his visible eye. He was giving me the most concerned look, he was so worried about me. I took a breath and finished where I'd left off.
"Sasuke…was my best friend, he…left me." I said quietly, hating how I was beginning to get emotional.
"He was the one that went to Orochimaru, Uchiha's Omouto." he stated, sounding as though he was trying not to upset me.
I nodded in agreement and moved closer to him, hugging him tightly around the torso. He sighed softly and held my body close to his, burying his nose in my hair. I nuzzled my face against his shirt, hating all the memories that were coming back to me. The first real conversation Sasuke and I had ever had, the one that still stuck out to me the most. The very first time we got a glimpse of who each other really was, when we first began to connect. When we were pulled to each other, drawn…
I had no idea where I was going or why I was following Sasuke, but I did anyway. I was curious about him to say the least, I wanted to know more about the feelings he kept hidden behind his dark eyes. Although we had never really talked, there was something about him that made me feel drawn to them. It was as though, we understood each other without needing verbal conversation. Body language and facial expressions were enough for us to know how the other was feeling or for us to have a vague idea of what the other was thinking. I blinked, looking around curiously. We'd ended up walking into a meadow, I followed him a little further into the meadow before Sasuke sat down. He looked at me and motioned with his eyes for me to sit. I sat beside him, leaving plenty of space between us.
"You seem so distant." Sasuke said, I glanced over at him and nodded in agreement."I'm not the only one that seems distant," I whispered, playing with a few strands of my blue violet hair."You think I seem distant?" Sasuke asked curiously, I nodded a little. "Nande?"I can see it in your eyes," I said quietly, I looked down at the grass and my hair fell over my face. "They're filled with loneliness as well as hate."
He grabbed my head, not roughly, and made me look at him. I was close to him, very close, it made me uncomfortable yet I was comfortable in a way. I couldn't explain it, it was just bizarre. I could tell though, just from the way he was looking at me, that he felt comfortable being this close to me. It was extremely peculiar that we were both feeling the same way about each other, I wondered what he thought of me."How can you see that?" Sasuke asked, sounding slightly frustrated."It's something I've always been able to do," I whispered.
He stared straight into my eyes for a few seconds before gently letting go of my head, moving a couple of feet away from me. I moved my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and tilted my head to the side as I continued looking at him.
"Why did you bring me out here?" I inquired, feeling slightly confused.
He turned his head away from the sunset and looked in my direction, seeming as though he was deeply studying me."I wanted to understand what was going through your head." he answered, sounding honest.
I nodded, understanding a little better, and stared at him curiously.
'Why is he so curious about me?'
It was quiet for the longest time, neither of us said anything. We were both doing alot of serious thinking about each other. I was busy wondering what was going through Sasuke's head the whole time, wondering what had happened to him to make him feel so alone, what made him distance himself from people. I had a strong feeling he was thinking the same thing about me, we both seemed to be deep thinkers. The sun had almost fully set before Sasuke broke the silence, saying
"He made my life miserable. He killed everyone I cared about, I want to defeat him. I need to defeat him, it's my goal in life."
It would seem so random, to any normal person, but I wasn't normal in the least. This little statement of his, made me understand him a little better. His reason for wanting revenge was someone, he hadn't said who, but someone killed everyone he cared about. That also said why he was lonely, he had no one left that cared about him. By being alone and having no one that cared for you, that makes you miserable. Loneliness is a miserable life, how long had he been alone? As long as myself perhaps. He was still alone after possibly years worth of dealing with it…just like I was."Gomen." I whispered, knowing exactly how he was feeling.
He felt alone, betrayed, misunderstood. He felt the exact same way I did, and I could see that in his eyes...we were the same."They don't understand." Sasuke stated. "Naruto or Sakura, but when I saw you…I could see something."
I looked at him curiously, wondering what exactly he was talking about, and he stared back at me. What was it that he saw in me?
"Something in your eyes." he finished.
I blinked, wondering if he was able to see the things in me that I saw in him and heard"What are you two doing out here?"
I looked over and saw Kakashi standing there, looking at the both of us with a curious gaze. I shifted further away from him, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the look he was directing towards us. Sasuke looked away from me, his eyes locked on Kakashi, an emotionless gaze."Talking." he said bluntly."Well head home, we have alot of missions tomorrow." Kakashi instructed..
We nodded in agreement, and I slowly stood up from the ground. I glanced at Sasuke once before I head off towards my apartment, my thoughts focused on wondering what Sasuke had been thinking about.
'Sasuke…'
"Love."
I moved my face out of Deidara's shirt and looked up at him, smiling slightly when he stroked my cheek. He looked as though he was struggling with something inside him, what was going through his head?
"The Akatsuki…are attempting to assassinate Orochimaru for betraying us hm. When we get information on his whereabouts…I'll be sure to let you know." he promised, I felt the smile on my lips widen.
"You'd do that…for me?" I whispered, he nodded in agreement.
"I love you Sada-chan, if this Uchiha means so much to you that you're willing to rescue him…then I'll help you as much as I can hm." he told me, I felt tears of happiness beginning to roll down my cheeks.
"Dei…arigato."
I quickly pressed my lips against his as soon as the words were out of my mouth, putting my hand on the nape of his neck to keep his lips connected to mine. He seemed surprised by the kiss but not even five seconds later, his lips were moving against mine. I felt my eyes slip shut when he pulled my body closer to his, slipping my other arm around his neck. I smiled into the kiss when his fingers ran through my hair before his hand moved to cupping my cheek. I almost pulled out of the kiss when I felt his tongue run over my lower lip but forced myself not to be surprised. I willingly opened my mouth, moaning softly when his tongue found mine. His kisses always managed to make me feel lightheaded, like I would pass out. I didn't understand why his kisses were so intoxicating, I more than likely never would. I moaned softly into the passionate kiss, pouting when he pulled back from me.
"Nani?" I questioned, feeling confused.
He chuckled quietly and planted a kiss on my cheek, moving his lips next to my ear.
"I love you Sada."
I felt a smile come to my lips at the words and said softly
"I love you too Deidara."
I sighed softly and buried my nose in his shirt, inhaling his scent. Clay, it was such an amazing smell to me. Just his smell seemed to intoxicate me, just like his kisses. I blushed darkly at the thought, looking up at the blonde through my bangs. He grinned at me and moved me off his lap, pushing me to lay back on the bed. I smiled slightly when he laid next to me after putting my bag and picture frame on the floor, his arm went around my waist to hold me. I snuggled as close to him as I could, stroking his cheek softly.
"Deidara."
He tilted his head against the pillow, looking at me curiously. I smiled a little and whispered
"Arigato."
He smiled slightly, more than likely knowing what I was talking about and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.
"Your welcome Sada." he murmured, kissing my forehead again.
I smiled and cuddled closer to him, smiling again when he pulled the sheets over the both of us. I was happy he wasn't planning on leaving me tonight, I needed him here with me right now. I didn't think I could manage to sleep in this place soundly, a place where murderers lived. It would take me a while to feel more comfortable in this place, until that time came around, Deidara could just spend the night with me. I knew he wouldn't mind, especially since we hadn't seen each other that much these past few years. We enjoyed spending time with each other, all the moments that we had together were special. Both of us felt this way, I knew it for the simple reason that we were in love. I felt the smile on my lips widen when Deidara whispered
"Oyasumi love."
"Oyasumi darling." I said with a gentle tone.
He planted a soft kiss on my lips and I smiled softly, closing my eyes tiredly. I snuggled close to Deidara, my muscles slowly began relaxing. I could feel consciousness slowly moving away from me, I vaguely heard Deidara whisper
"I love you Sada."
"I love you too Dei." I said quietly.
A few seconds later, I fell into the black world of unconsciousness with a smile on my lips.
Author's Note: Awwwz, Deidara's such a sweetheart. It's all like...awww. He just loves Sada so much that he's willing to help her save her bestie from Orochimaru. Grrr, Sasuke. It's like he's fucking everything up without even being there. WTF? Thoughts, comments? Let me know by reviewing :)
Lots of love
Eva
