Hey, everyone! I'm back with a new chapter! Special thanks to guest reviewer Gabby for helping me out with this chapter-your gesture is much appreciated. :) I guess I should mention now that I'll be putting in some AU pairings...for example, this chapter will be about Padmé singing to little Luke and Leia as they fall asleep...and even though in the real Star Wars movies, Luke and Leia are born right before Padmé dies, it's just...I dunno, I guess this is a sweeter moment for them if Anakin never turned to the Dark Side and if Sidious was killed earlier. :( Ah...they could've had it all...! T_T Oh, well. Anyways, thanks again to guest reviewer Gabby and I hope to be back with ya'll for the next chapter soon! :) Oh, and another note-Happy Thanksgiving for those of ya'll who celebrate it! (I know it's on Thursday, but...it's close! XD)
Song 8. Never Grow Up
Anakin Skywalker—
"Your little hand's wrapped around my finger and it's so quiet in the world tonight."
I paused, listening to Padmé's quiet voice drifting from the twins' room. Her voice was quiet and sweet, and I could envision her just stroking back the hair of our children.
It was dark now that it was night in Coruscant—only the lights of other buildings and speeders flying by shone through the windows, but the mere lull of the silence throughout the apartment was enough to drag the twins into sleep.
"Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming so I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light on."
With that quiet line of lyric, I heard the soft click of a night light flickering in the dim room and I slid down to the floor, still listening to Padmé.
I heard one of the twins—either Luke or Leia—yawning and a small laugh come out of Padmé.
"To you, everything's funny. You've got nothing to regret. I'd give everything I have, honey, if you could stay like that."
Padmé's voice sounded wistful and sad as she delivers those words and I sighed. It wasn't a lie that we've all had our own disappointments and mistakes to regret.
For one, Ahsoka leaving the Order wasn't exactly something that left me, even after Lord Sidious died by my hand. To be honest, everyone was affected—Padmé was at first rather…scared with me, almost. I don't think she's ever seen me so angry before and I'll admit, for quite some time, our relationship seemed to be going through dangerous waters.
It was a good thing that the Jedi Council allowed the Code to be modified, though. We were now allowed to create attachments and with that being said, Padmé and I became closer over the weeks.
"Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up. Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little. Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up. Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple."
I slowly peered through the door and watched as Padmé squeezed Luke's small hand. Her eyes were filled with a quiet happiness, but as always, she looked tired and sad. I felt my own lips curve downwards into a frown.
"I won't let nobody hurt you—won't let no one break your heart. And no one will desert you; just try to never grow up."
It pained me to know that Padmé was still struggling to push the past mistakes behind her. It hurt even more to realize that she was struggling to keep our own children young and innocent. Even with the war over, she knew as well as I that she'll be able to grow up soon if they really were Force-sensitive as I am now.
"You're in the speeder on the way to the holo-movies and you're mortified, we're dropping you off."
I smirked and brought my knees to my chest. I could almost see it now—Luke and Leia struggling to get out of the clutches of Padmé and join their friends to watch a movie with their friends.
"At fourteen, there's just so much you can't do and you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots."
I heard Padmé's voice breaking and for a minute, she was quiet. There was nothing to hear except for Luke and Leia breathing as well as Padmé shifting her position.
"But don't make us drop you off around the block. Remember that we're getting older, too. And don't lose the way that you dance around in your robes getting ready for the class."
Padmé's voice was quieter than ever and I sighed, standing up. She was fearing it—our children would grow apart from us and we'd be parents who'd be forgotten. I smiled.
Her concern was palpable—I guess I've felt it, too. Not that I've told her about it.
"Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up. Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little. Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up. Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple."
I let out a small breath. A small tear was sliding down from Padmé's eye. I couldn't blame her for wanting Luke and Leia to just stay as young as they are now.
Folding my hands in my lap, I mouthed the next words of the song with her.
"No one's ever burned you…nothing's ever left you scarred. And even though you want to…just try to never grow up."
Padmé's voice had reduced to nothing more than a quiet whisper and I closed my own eyes. My fingers absent-mindedly touched my own scar that ran across my eye and winced. So many imperfections—and I didn't want anyone—especially not my children—to experience that.
"Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room…memorize what it sounds like when your dad gets home."
Padmé's voice caught itself and she let out a small whimper. I smiled quietly and standing up, brushed the dust from my robes and headed into the small bedroom. Padmé looked up and she whispers, "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"
I sat down next to her and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. "No…I was standing outside the entire time." I replied quietly. Padmé looked up at me with watery eyes and she says, "I don't know what to do, Anakin. I'm scared for them—I'm scared that I'm not going to be a good enough mother."
I smiled and cupped her chin towards me. "Padmé…you're going to be a brilliant mother, I promise." I said softly. "Luke and Leia couldn't have asked for a better person to look after them."
My wife smiled and wiped at her eyes. She cleared her throat and continues with her hand closed around mine,
"Remember the footsteps, remember the words said and all your twin's favorite songs."
She paused and then struggles to keep her voice steady in the next line—
"I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone."
I sighed and planted a small kiss on Padmé's forehead. She nestled her face into my neck and whispers,
"So there I was in my new apartment in a big world, they just dropped me off. It was so much colder than I thought it would be so I tucked myself in, and turned on my night light on."
I squeezed her hand tighter and she took a shuddery breath. One of her hands slowly tucked the blanket around our children tighter, as though to keep them safer.
"Wish I'd never grown up. I wish I'd never grown up."
I turned to Padmé and she smiled quietly to me. "Padmé," I told her, stroking her smooth cheeks tenderly. "You have nothing to be afraid of. I wouldn't let anything bad happen to our children—never."
Padmé sighed and says, "I know it's silly, Anakin. I just…I don't want them to face corruption, I don't want them to face danger or harm. It's what every mother would want for their child."
I kissed her again, this time on the lips. "Then Luke and Leia are lucky to have you looking after them."
"Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up, I could still be little. Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up, it could still be simple. Oh darlings, don't you ever grow up. Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little. Oh darlings, don't you ever grow up. Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple, won't let nobody hurt you…won't let no one break your heart. And even though you want to, please try to never grow up."
