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I wasn't expecting Spock's statement to freeze the Ambassador in his tracks. You saw the look on my face. Between his stumble and my shock, Sarek and I looked like a 20th century cartoon. If I wasn't so mad at the man, I would have laughed.

Sarek, on the other hand, was completely composed when he faced his son. 'Your mother...' He started but did not finish, as if expecting Spock to fill in the rest.

Which he did, but not in the way Sarek expected, by the look on his face. 'Would have understood my logic.' Spock finished the sentence rather smugly.

Spock began to feel a little too vulnerable lying on the ground under his father's calculating gaze. So I moved my arm to free him from my embtace. Still in a bit of pain from his self-inflicted injury, Spock sat up carefully with a hand over his side. When he seemed to have difficulty standing, I stood and eased him onto the rock that Bones had vacated. Placing a knee beside his hip, I took a protective stance, ready to shield my bondmate if Sarek became irrational.

Luckily, the Ambassador did not lose his composure when his son began to refute him. He just shifted his focus...to me.

'But does he love you?' Sarek asked, looking down his nose at his son. As if he was the only Vulcan to ever know anything about love. I seethed, but I bit my tongue and clenched my fists at my side because Spock was asking me through the bond to trust him. At that moment, I vowed to do as he asked...even if it killed me.

Sarek didn't seem to notice my restraint as he continued chastising Spock. 'I would be remiss if I allowed you...'

Luxkily, he didn't get a chance to finish. Because my fist was just about to remind him of a few things he *had* been remiss about...like checking up on his emotionally overburdened son *before* he stuck a dagger in his heart.

'It is not your choice, Father.' Spock said curtly as he struggled to his feet. I knew I wasn't going to be able to stop him...this was a matter of pride...so I put my hands at his waist discreetly in order to help keep him upright. It gave my hands something to do other than beat Sarek to a pulp...or punish myself for the same neglect I was accusing Sarek of. I had to remind myself that I wasn't guiltless, either. The bond, and the strong emotions that flowed throw it, made it easy to forget that a mere six hours ago, I had been sitting in the captain's chair of the Enterprise wondering what had happened to my first officer.

I knew I did the right thing in holding Spock up when he sent me a thank-you through the bond, then gently chided me for being hard on myself.

After Spock's rebuttal, Sarek seemed non-plussed for a minute, as if Spock had said something he couldn't fathom. 'I am your father.'

'And he is my mate.' Spock replied quietly. I didn't have to ask which of us was more important to him at the moment. The look on his face said it all.

It was amazing to see his face shine like that. It was almost painful to watch him in his joy. I always suspected that Spock might be the one to remind me how much of my bravado is an act. But I never expected him to do it while he was defending me to his father. My hands trembled slightly as I wondered how I could live up to the expectations Spock had for me. But again, my bondmate attempted to soothe me with a gentle wave through the bond.

'Logic dictates...' Sarek straightened into that stiff stance all Vulcans have when spouting Surak's views; well, okay, all Vulcans except Spock.

'Love is not logical. I will not attempt to constrain it so.' Spock couldn't straighten into a parade rest, you know, the one he tends to favor when he explains his logic, with my hands holding him up. So he chose another course of action, a much more intimate one. He pulled gently on my arms and wrapped them around his waist.

I stiffened a little at first, afraid that Sarek would see the display of affection as crude. But then Spock communicated his intent through the bond: he wanted to lean against me, and to hell with what his father thought. I nearly laughed out loud after I got over my shock of 'hearing' that from my oh-so-proper Vulcan.

Sarek watched us for a moment. Then, as if sensing he would get nowhere with Spock, Sarek looked to me. 'Do you love him?'

I sighed, not knowing how to answer that question. Sarek had every right to ask me if his son was in good hands. The problem was I didn't know how good these hands were. I only knew that I wanted to give the feelings between us a chance to grow. The best I could do was tell him the truth as I saw it.

'To be honest, sir, I don't know much about love. I could tell you that I love him more than anyone else, but I'm not sure what that would mean. As it stands right now, the only other people I've really loved up to now are my mother and my brother. I do know that I care for him, very much. His death would have devestated me in so many ways that I can't count them all. But his life...well, even though we haven't known each other very long, his life has enriched mine in a way I no longer want to do without. He challenges me to be better than I think I can be. And he supports me in ways I would never have guessed were possible. I want to do the same for him. Is that love?' I shrugged. 'I don't know. But I'm pretty sure that if what I feel for him now isn't love, it will be sooner or later.'

Sarek must have seen the honest feelings in my face, because rather than giving me the rebuttal I expected, he simply nodded and directed his next comment at his son. 'You have made a choice your mother would have approved of.'

Spock inclined his head. 'He pleases me and I please him.' He squeezed my hand slightly as if to tell me the worst was over.

He was right in that assessment. Sarek seemed to calm down almost immediately after Spock's words. 'Then I cannot fault your logic.' I was amazed to see a hint of a smile pass over Sarek's face. 'Take care of him well, James. He is my only son. I would not have him hurt again.'

'I will, sir.' I said softly. But inside I worried. Was I good enough for this being who was willing to risk his relationship with his father for me?

Sarek was finally content with Spock's choice and decided to let us continue with the bond in peace. So he nodded to all of us and left the way he came.

I heard Bones sigh with relief as he disappeared. 'You were lucky he didn't skin you alive.' Bones groused as I eased Spock back onto the rock next to us.

'In front of Elder Savid and his mate? Everyone knows Savid took a shine to Spock. Sarek wouldn't have embarassed himself by forcing Savid to defend us.' I pointed to where the two of you stood. You looked like like a proud papa when you turned to grin at us. Savid looked...content.

Bones, however, wasn't quite satisfied. He knew me too well. 'You talk like you weren't even a part of the discussion.' He examined my face, probably looking for signs of stress. 'You defended Spock well. You didn't need Savid.'

I shrugged. 'I didn't do anything. In fact, I almost made a mess of it. Hell, I couldn't even tell Sarek that I loved Spock!'

The calculating look that passed between Savid and Spock worried me for a moment. I wasn't sure of what it meant until Spock spoke. 'You will cease maligning my bondmate in this manner, Captain.' He was beginning to sound angry at me.

'But...' I looked at Spock in shock.

My bondmate scolded me, as he should have. Hell, my insecurities were part of what had gotten us into this mess. 'You said nothing that could be construed as inaccurate or offensive. You instead told Sarek your honest assessment of your mental condition.' His words turned softer, more soothing as he continued. 'Although you are reluctant to do so, I will speculate that what you feel is very similar to love.'

'And if you're wrong?' I asked worriedly. Part of me still thought Spock was getting a bad deal here.

Spock pointed to you and Savid as evidence against me. 'I am not wrong.'

I stared at the two of you as if seeing you for the first time. It was disconcerting to realize Spock was putting his trust in fate. If you succeeded, then so would we, in his mind. I hoped he was right. But I wasn't about to swear by that. But if he could trust like that, I at least needed to give it a fighting chance.

I turned to Spock with a sigh and leaned my forehead against his. 'I'll do my best to remember that. I can't guarantee that I won't get scared again.'

Spock gently ran a hand through my hair. 'We will deal with your fears together. You no longer have to face them alone.'

Now that the drama had ended, I suddenly felt exhausted. And I could see by the pale color of his face, that my bondmate felt the same.

'We should go someplace where you can get some rest,' I said, laying a hand on his shoulder. 'Where would you be most comfortable?'

I could see Bones wanting to speak, to dictate where his patient should be, but I waved my hand to keep him silent. Whereever Spock wanted to be...that's where I would take him. The only catch was that he wasn't going alone, but I figured he already knew that.

Spock looked into my eyes as he replied. 'Would I be allowed to return home, Captain?' His voice was hesitant, unsure. I wasn't the only one still dealing with fears.

I probed the bond gently...damn, you wouldn't think I had been frightened of our connection yesterday by my reliance on it. But then my whole life tilted on its axis within the past hour or so. I wasn't ready to question the changes in me, not yet. I needed to make sure Spock was well first.

What I found in Spock's head was encouraging. Home was an emotionally-charged word for my bondmate. I was surprised to find that to him, it did not mean Sarek's house, New Vulcan, or even Earth. Home was where he was accepted for what and who he was. Home was where he had unexpectedly found friends, and even more surprising to him, a husband. Home was the Enterprise.

In that assessment, I agreed completely. 'Of course you can come home, t'hy'la. But you do realize you will have to deal with a lot of emotional humans seeking you out over the next couple days. You scared the living hell out of all of us. The crew will need to see for themselves that you are okay.' I warned him about the crew in case he wasn't prepared. I knew his calm facade had shattered long before he had thrust that dagger into his side. I didn't want him to attempt emotional control before he was ready to. It might cause him to relapse into the despair that nearly destroyed us.

'Do not worry, Jim,' Spock said, feeling my distress. 'I will be prepared to reassure the crew...' He paused. 'If I may have a day or two before I am put on public display.'

I nodded and started to gather our equipment in preparation to leave.

Bones figured that now would be a good time to speak.

'I'll take you both of duty if you'd like,' he said to me then turned to Spock. 'But you are defintely not to return to duty for at least three days. I want to make sure your heart has recovered from the shock before I let you on the bridge.' His crass tone did very little to hide his concern for the welfare of our first officer.

So although I could feel that Spock wanted to protest, I stopped him from doing so. 'It'll be better for us to take a few days together. You need time to recover physically and we need the time to adjust to each other.'

'You do not need to...' Spock started, but I wouldn't let him finish his statement.

'I do need to. I'm not screwing this up a second time.' I sighed, then came over to put my arm around Spock. I could tell we both needed the physical contact. 'We can spend the next two days in our cabins, or in the rec rooms, or wandering the ship. But we will do it together, I promise you.'

Spock inclined his head. 'I too prefer to be together, but I did not want to force you to be with me.' He looked up at me with a question in his eyes.

I shook my head in answer to his question. He did nothing to coerce me. 'My choice. We need to start somewhere.'

So we said our goodbyes to you with smiles instead of tears. You will never know how much your rescuing him means to me...or maybe you do, I don't know. But I could thank you for the rest of my life and it wouldn't be enough.

So we started on the journey that would, I hoped, take us to a life very much like yours.

I probably should have asked you about your life with Savid before we left. Because on the first step of that journey, I ended up making the same stupid mistake you did.

I believed a Vulcan stream of misinformation. And because of that, I was ready to give up one of the greatest pleasures in my life in order to stay with Spock.

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end part 8