"And is that all for your order?"

The dark haired woman who settled in her plush seat waved the café waitress away with an affirmative as she smiled wickedly to herself and glanced outside of the luxurious, glass wall to the streets of Ikebukuro below. Humans bustled back and forth in the wrath of the beginnings of winter as snow gently danced its way past Orihara Izaya's seat by the window, and down to the Ikebukuro-nians who hurried their way around the city. The fountain itself was slow in its movement, chugging past the frozen particles of water and spurting out of frozen taps as it glorified the centre of Ikebukuro park.

Watching from above, Izaya was happy to watch her lovely humans down below, bustling in her city as she watched comfortably from her plush red chair in the nicely heated café. Eyes closing in a grin and smirk widening, she laced her fingers together and sat contently, preparing herself for a nice long encounter with Shizu-chan.

"Can… can I take you out on a date some time?"

Tilting her head back abruptly in a harsh laugh, Izaya allowed the amusement that flowed through her veins to ignore the strange stares she received from around her. She continued for a moment longer or so, before her laughs died into giggles and then stopped altogether as she sunk lower into her chair and partially covered her face through her fingers, denying anyone who would have accused her of her face turning red.

"Ah, Shizu-chan… you are an enigma within yourself. Simply amazing, bravo…" the woman begrudgingly admitted.

Granted, the woman was an hour early for their little assigned 'date', but the woman detested tardiness, and instead loved the element of surprise that betrayed nearly every human's face when they would see the Orihara earlier than appointed. Izaya began to hum and twiddle her fingers in restless boredom before straightening up to receive her cup of coffee from the waiter, and then happily sipping at the heavenly substance before glancing down below again.

"Oh Shizu-chan… the things you- ah?" she paused in her sentence in shock as she spotted the golden, unruly locks of her monster in his nicely dressed suit and navy scarf.

Lo and behold, the monster of Ikebukuro himself had come an hour early also.

Laughing, she grinned to herself and comfortably settled down again in her chair.

Let the fun and games begin ne, Shizu-chan?


Sneezing, Shizuo wrinkled his nose and quickly ran a finger under it, just in case he had to capture any essence of sniveling snot that had to be rid of. Finding none, Shizuo began to fidget with his black gloves and glanced around the park that he had assigned as a meeting place for both he and Izaya to meet.

Dazed out of his day dream on the couch, Shizuo jumped at the touch of a cold can of beer pressed against his face as he jolted and faced the perpetrator standing behind him.

"It's rude to ignore a woman you know," Izaya reprimanded in her slightly higher voice. Given that the woman's voice was airy in the first place as a male, the change was miniature, and Shizuo was just relieved to see that all went well and she was unharmed.

"Sorry. What were you saying Flea?" Shizuo asked again as he stroked the hair of the sleeping figure in his lap. Quiet, gentle snores trailed its way out of the 4 year old's mouth as Psyche curled into the warm, safe figure of his father.

"Why do I even bother," Izaya pouted, crossing her arms and glaring in another wayward direction. Before she knew it, she was shoving her hands in front of the face with pursed lips that was inches away from her own face. Panicked, she saw that the son was moved to rest on top of a rather large cushion and then averted her attention back to the blonde who still pursed his lips, watching her with deadpan eyes. "What the hell are you doing you freak?" she screeched in a low volume.

"Gonna kiss you," the blonde replied, as though it was normal. He had, after all, gone in and out of a relationship, so he thought that action was plausible.

Laughable.

Absolutely laughable.

Izaya's hysteria started off as an awkward, nervous chuckle, pronouncing each syllable of ha clearly, until it escalated into a nervous breakdown type of laughter that had Shizuo panicking now.

"Amazing! You really think you can just do anything now, don't you? Amazing how stupidly your protozoan brain thinks! Superb! Astounding! REMARKABLE-"

"Shut up!" Shizuo growled menacingly, blocking her ramble with one of his larger hands. Glare intensifying, Izaya ripped her mouth away from his hand and gave him a piece of her complex mind.

"No, you shut up! I'm sick of it! You're fucking with me, how could you possibly think that you can just do anything you want like we're a married couple? Just because we fucked and I had an accident-"

"-OI!"

"-does not mean that you can suddenly go all lovey dovey and I will just fall into your fucking arms!" Shizuo stared at her with his deadpan expression before sighing and giving up, lifting the ball of a son into his arms and getting ready to tuck the 4 year old into bed. "I'm not finished with you yet!" Izaya pouted yet again, fuming in her spot.

And AGAIN she was forced to stop those smooth, pursed lips from trying to seek out her own as she blocked him with both her hands. Disbelief and rage painted itself cutely on her androgynous features as she looked for words to say in her dumbfounded state.

"Incredible! Unbelievable! Again! You think you can kiss me!" she began to shout. And as her rage metre rose and her defenses were lowered, Shizuo enclosed the gap between them until they were breathing the same space of air, and he mesmerized her with his honey brown eyes. Lips so close, Izaya could seal the gap with the slight tilt upwards of her face, but resisted in doing so.

"If you don't want me to kiss you, stop fucking pouting," the man said coolly before walking up the stairs with his son in his arms. The footsteps faded and her legs turned to jelly as she wobbled and began to fall to the tiles of her kitchen floor, where the fight had progressed a few metres away from the couch. With her knees tucked to her chest, she held her head in her hands and attempted to cool her head against the cupboard behind her. Her grip only tightened as she heard his voice echo from the top of the stairs.

"Oh yeah. Tomorrow, 12 pm at the fountain in Ikebukuro's West Park."

Biting her lips, she fought to fight down the rush of blood that swelled towards her face and ears, cursing the blonde in her head fiercely.

"See you, Flea."

Shizuo impatiently glanced at his wristwatch and sighed, chiding himself for arriving an hour early. Damn Shinra for wanting to babysit Psyche before 12, what the hell was that. He had to drop the kid off and then found no point in returning home anyway. The snow gracefully drifted its way down towards earth, settling itself in clumps of white ground around him. The air he breathed fogged in reminisce of tobacco sticks that rested in his breast pocket, but were rarely pulled out for use. Glancing once again at his wristwatch restlessly, Shizuo furrowed his brows and shrugged, pulling out a stick and lighting it.

I have time to kill.

But as an hour passed, and the clock struck 12, neither had moved from their spots.


Glaring warily out the glass window, irritation began to grind at Izaya's nerves. Drinking her 3rd cup of coffee, she watched the unmoving blonde from above, him in the freezing cold and her in the comforting warmth.

An hour and a half had passed 12, and the damn blonde hadn't moved.

Clucking her teeth, irritated, Izaya narrowed her gaze and then relaxed.

"Calm down Orihara, he will leave soon. Don't fret," she assured herself, texting Shinra to check up on her child from time to time.

Another half hour had passed, and she had progressed to playing games on her phone.

Another 45 minutes later, she had gone through 2 dark chocolate cakes and 17 games of tetris, and her patience was running thin.

Glancing back down at the fountain, she almost sighed in relief when she saw the blonde was not there, but swore out loud when she saw he returned from walking around the park to presumably look for her.

"Give up you stupid man!" she hissed, sinking low in her seat as she watched him redial her phone, who had blocked his contact and instead rung forever instead of rejecting his call.

She watched him raise his phone to his ear and bring it down dejectedly 57 times for the past three hours. She did not even want to think about what would happen if she unblocked his contact and the missed calls began to catch up to her.

Another 2 hours had passed, and by now, Izaya had mellowed, feeling rather anxious as she watched the blonde visibly shiver from the cold, especially now that the sun had already set. Glaring, she harrumphed and crossed her arms tightly, receiving odd stares from the workers who had seen her there for the past 6 hours, only standing from her seat in times of a restroom break. Looking down at the fortissimo of Ikebukuro, she sighed through her nose and frowned, as she began to think.

Why would you wait this long for me… Shizuo?

"4 years is a long time, Izaya."

She groaned in frustration and pulled at her hair as his voice echoed in her head.

He wasn't supposed to change.

He wasn't supposed to care!

But he did change, a pained voice echoed in Izaya's mind as she held back the tears that were beginning to prickle at her eyes. And he does care…

The human mind is such a fickle thing, Izaya thought tiredly as she prodded at her 5th cake that day. Claiming you love me after finding out you have a son, what a joke. You just feel like you're taking responsibility is all, you big brute of an idiot, she chastised. Softening her gaze and glancing down at the blonde who now resorted to rubbing his gloves together and blowing hot breath into them to keep warm. And yet… look at you…

Are you really Heiwajima Shizuo?

4 years couldn't have been that long… could it?

And somewhere, deep inside of herself, she knew it was.

But regardless, it was a shock to her how much you could change in that period of time.

Driving her attention towards the outside again another hour later, she glared at him one last time before finally standing from her spot and leaving the café with a chime of the bell.


Crimson brown eyes scanning the horizon, she searched for the fountain where the blonde sat at, and found she was at the opposite end of the park. Rolling her eyes, Izaya wrapped her coat tighter around her frame and huffed into her scarf, trudging towards the fountain and enjoying the scenery. However, as the voices in her head spoke and the images of Shizuo plagued her, she found it hard to continue her pace, and her legs slowed as her intention wavered.

What am I doing? The woman chastised in her head. Going to Shizu-chan is like accepting his date.

What the hell am I doing?

[Izaya, please just give Shizuo a chance, he's not a bad person!]

"Give him a chance!"

Izaya shook her head to rid the voice of Shinra and the words of Celty from her mind as she stood rooted to her spot, metres away from the fountain where the blonde man sat, on the other side of her and across jets of spouting water.

Her heart thudded in her ribcage as her breath quickened and the snow began to thicken in its white haze of icy beauty.

Years ago, she made a choice.

To raise the child growing in her womb, and bring him up to be a beautiful child that belonged to her and a piece of the man she could never have.

She made the decision to leave who she was, and start anew, all to make space for the little boy that now played at Shinra's apartment.

She made that decision, but Shizuo was not included in the terms and conditions.

She hadn't anticipated this.

She never anticipated to meet the blonde again in her womanly form, she had never thought so far as to what she would do, had she met the man. This was one of her little flaws in her plan of starting anew, as she barricaded any thought of Shizuo from herself and refused to acknowledge him in her life again.

But her direction became lost, she twisted and turned and she had found him again, her walls crumbling, crumbling-

Boots crunching in the snow, determination shone in her eyes as she made her way around the fountain and towards the blonde who waited for the past 6 hours, and that itself had earned the man some brownie points. Striding towards the blonde, her heart thundered in its place, her steps became shaky and her hands trembled from the cold and her tight grip on her palms-

But in that moment, as she reached the spot that bore an empty patch of grey where the blonde fortissimo of Ikebukuro sat in the snow, her heart dropped to her stomach, her breath caught in her lungs and the tears began to crawl its way to her eyes.

The man had waited too long for a woman who wanted no room left for him in her heart.


She only found it fair to wait for the blonde for the same amount of time that he waited for her, as she shivered in the snow and clung to her body frame tighter. She shook some of the snow off of her coat, and watched the snow thicken around her feet and freeze the fountain slowly as the park clock had struck 10 at night, and she couldn't handle waiting anymore. Numb past the point of feeling, Izaya stood from her spot, and mindlessly wandered towards Shinra's apartment, with every intention to walk there instead of taking a taxi for the next 27 blocks she had to walk.

Shocked beyond belief, Shinra's mouth fell open at the sight of her, and Izaya forced her lips to pull up in a smile. The awkward tensing of Celty's shoulders and the way her smoke curdled told Izaya that Celty grimaced at her forced smile. Shrugging, Izaya came in, shaking and stumbling and so very cold, tripping over her own boots as she peeled them off and spread wet footprints from her stockings onto Shinra's timbered floor.

"Izaya-" Shinra called out, closing the door and following after the woman.

"Psyche!" the woman's voice croaked as she immediately strode through the halls of the apartment as though she was fine. "Psyche, time to go home, Mommy's here!" she called, peeking into one of the rooms that Psyche had loved playing in. Glancing behind her shoulder at the touch of someone's grip on her shoulder, she turned to face a wisp of smoke as Celty offered her phone for Izaya to read.

[Izaya… Shizuo had gone home a long time ago with Psyche…]

Izaya swallowed hard, and once again, felt that heavy rock of despair fall into the depths of her stomach as the light left her eyes. [Izaya, what happened? Stay here for the night if you have to, but please shower here at least or something! You're freezing! I'm worried about you.]

I'm worried about you.

Worried.

I'm.

You.

Worried.

Hiccuping, Izaya's lips curved into a smile before she totally folded in on herself and crumpled to the floor, her tears finally cascading down her frozen cheeks as she began to wail.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" Izaya screamed into her hands, muffling her screams as Shinra began to panic and Celty rushed forwards to help her.

But as soon as either one of the two, Izaya didn't care who, had touched her, she slapped their hands away and curled her knees towards her chest and buried her head away from the world.

What the fuck is happening.

I don't know what's happening, I'm losing control-

What's wrong, what's wrong, what's-

What's wrong with me?


Creaking, the door swung open slowly as a lifeless Izaya made her way inside the dark home, a trembling finger moving to flick the light switch on.

And she suddenly wished she hadn't.

The light flooded the room and Shizuo jumped from his place on the couch and stared that the home intruder, relaxing once he saw it was Izaya.

Izaya.

Izaya!

"Izaya, what happened today?" Shizuo asked worriedly, making his way towards the shaking woman. Eyes widening and heart pulsing, Izaya stepped away from the advancing man and shook her head. "Are you alright? What happened? Why didn't you show up? I waited for you, and called you, but you wouldn't pick up and-"

The moment his hand gripped her wrist, she punched him, her habits from being a male for the past few years slithering in. She should have anticipated that she would be cradling her hand however, as Shizuo blinked at the contact of her fist to his cheek.

"Fucking hell," she hissed, glaring at the ground as the tears began to seep its way through again. Careful not to touch her this time, Shizuo stood awkwardly and attempted to put all his questions that raced through his mind into a few words.

"Where… were you?" he asked quietly. Freezing at the question asked, Izaya's shoulders tensed and her hands stopped cradling the injured fist. After moments of silence that stabbed at Shizuo, he opened his mouth once again to ask her why the fuck she had him wait 6 hours in the freezing snow until-

"Hah. Went around, fucked some customers for information, sold my body to some sleazy old men, the usual," Izaya scoffed, flicking her hair over her shoulder and glancing up at the blonde as though she were bored. "I just don't have time to be playing with protozoan monsters like you anymore Shizu, sorry." She pushed past his tall figure and made her way towards the refrigerator where she opened it a crack before it was slammed closed by the fist above her.

"Izaya… talk to me."

Sighing, annoyed, Izaya turned and glared up at the taller male, grinding her teeth.

"Thanks for looking after my son, but I really don't need you anymore, and I figured that us? Isn't gonna work out. Bye bye-"

"Cut the crap Izaya!" Shizuo hissed, hiding his golden eyes under his blonde fringe. Lips pursing tightly, Izaya hadn't expected this.

Why didn't he just leave?

More so, why didn't she just let him do this?

Let him worm his way into her life, let him love her like she had fantasized everytime she was lonely.

Let him love her, care for her, hug her, kiss her, hold her-

"Izaya, why are you doing this?" Shizuo asked one last time, before raising his water-glazed eyes from out of their hiding place, and staring earnestly into Izaya's averting eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but if you would so kindly-"

"Izaya!-"

"Stop it!" she screamed before finally letting the tears break out from her strong, I-don't-care façade.

She was sick of the routine now.

Pretending as though she didn't care, pretending she didn't want, didn't need this stupid man's love.

But she did.

She did, she did, she wanted it, she wanted him, she wanted it all.

"Stop fucking waiting for me!" she cried before slapping away his calloused hands as they attempted to console her. "I watched you wait for me, for six fucking hours, and the moment I decide to ignore my stupid mind and go to you, you were gone," she sobbed, biting her lips and covering the lower half of her face, staring at the broad chest in front of her rather than the eyes of its owner. "Four years, I've hidden away from you, and the moment you see our kid, you love me. I just-"

Arms coming around to wrap themselves around her thin frame, Shizuo stared ahead of his line of sight, tightening the embrace when the woman began to struggle.

"I just hate you, so fucking much, but I love you to the point I can't stop thinking about you!" she sobbed, her struggles continuing as she feebly tried to break free. "I try so hard to avoid you, I never wanted to tell you that you were Psyche's father, I made you wait in the freezing cold and I watched you-

But I love you so fucking much."

"Then why are you running away?" Shizuo harshly bit out, tightening his hold further when her feeble bashing stopped. "Why are you running away from me…?" Shizuo trailed off, arms unraveling so that his hands sought for her skinny upper arms and gripped them firmly. Searching for her own eyes that was hidden by her raven bangs, Shizuo stared down at her, holding her firmly so that she wouldn't escape again.

Wouldn't run away again.

"Izaya, look at me," Shizuo commanded softly. She shook her head ferociously, keeping her head down and her hands clenched at the hem of her long sweater. "Izaya, look at me," Shizuo tried again, only receiving the same response as before. "Izaya!" Shizuo pleaded.

"I'm scared."

A whisper so soft, Shizuo couldn't believe he heard it.

Slowly, she raised her head and tilted it upwards to bare her face to him, to the man she had been running away from since high school. Eyes rimmed red, face flushed pink and tears streaming, she sniffled and kept eye contact with the man whose mouth dropped slightly and eyes widening disbelievingly.

"I am Orihara fucking Izaya," she began shakily. "I was thought to be a man, throughout the most important times of my life, and I am the child-bearer of Heiwajima Shizuo." Eyebrows furrowing, Shizuo waited for her to continue as she hiccupped and maintained a fierce, though tearful, eye contact. "I've assisted suicides. I've worked in the dirtiest parts of the underground world that you could ever hope to dig up. I'm a cold, heartless bastard who suddenly became the mother of a beautiful boy. I love all humans-

So what makes you so fucking special?" her voice broke off at the end as she grit her teeth and her mouth frowned in an open grimace. "You don't even love me-"

"Don't ever say that!" Shizuo growled.

"But you don't!" she protested, wincing when Shizuo's hands unintentionally gripped her harder.

"I do! I loved you 8 years ago then, and I love you now," he confessed, suddenly loosening his grip as a stunned Izaya gazed up at him through her tears. "I… like you said… you were a guy… and I… uh… thought you and I… we were both… Uh…" Shizuo trailed off, suddenly feeling extremely embarrassed. Eyes widening in understanding, Izaya hid a smile and cursed being so human.

Feeling so reassured that he loved her simply because he told her that he thought he used to be gay.

What a joke.

Heart thumping, Izaya pushed her negative thoughts away and let the moment flow as it wished, taking this chance before it was too late again.

"I'm scared," Izaya murmured, leaning her forehead against Shizuo's broad, warm, thumping chest.

"So am I," Shizuo replied, nuzzling his nose into her hair gently.

"I don't want to let you in because I'm scared of getting hurt," she continued, burying her face into his nicely prepared clothes he had originally worn for the date.

"I don't want to let you go because it hurts," Shizuo retaliated softly. She tilted her face upwards and searched his warm eyes in the darkness for any trace of a lie. "Trust me."

Brushing away her tears and bringing himself to boldly lick away the salty trails that glistened in the blended city lights coming from her living room wall-window, she made no move to stop him as her fists clenched itself in her sweater and the blonde leaned down, slowly, to steal a sweet, innocent kiss.

Their first ever since the two had stumbled upon each other after 4 years of absence.

"You think you can kiss me?" the threat from last night had resurfaced, sweeter, gentler, and uncertain as the blonde ruffled her inky locks of hair and brought her close to his body in a one armed hug.

"Then stop fucking pouting."

And she leaned up with a pout to seal their lips together again.


OMAKE -

Settled in her warm pajamas finally, and brushed and clean and ready for bed, Izaya wobbled her way over to the bedroom until-

"Ow!" she protested, rubbing the back of her head that was just smacked by some protozoan's rather large hand. Shizuo glared down at her fiercely and she glanced up at him warily, extremely confused.

Didn't they just fucking make up and make out?

"Don't leave me out in the cold again. Heartless bitch," Shizuo muttered playfully, leaning down to steal a goodnight kiss.

"Sleep tight, Iza-chan," he cooed before ruffling her hair playfully and walking downstairs to his assigned couch.

Blushing and bringing a hand to gently rub at the tingly feeling that originated from his hands on her hair, she tensed and yelled out throughout the house and into the night-

"Stupid Shizu-chan!"


A/N: I'm so terrible...

Sorry... ;A;

My excuses are : I'm practically never at home.

I'm always busy with studying or work or school

I've got trial examinations coming up for the final year of high school.

and and and I've got my own issues I'm trying to deal with now

But I love you guys I really do... D:

But here you gooo let the fluffiness begin! So sorry about the long wait again, and I'll try to upload a new IM chapter as soon as I can as well, so please hang in there!

Reviews and Criticisms appreciated!