A/N: I think the title rolls off the tongue well enough.


Queens of Kang's Summit

"Lieutenant Torres."

*sigh* "Seven."

"May I join you?"

"This is a public space, you can sit where you want."

"Indeed. Then I choose to sit beside you."

"Of course you do."

"You do not like me."

"At least it's not in question."

"I do not dislike you."

"Well good for you."

"May I ask what you are reading?"

"You may ask."

"..."

"If you must know... it's a Klingon romance novel."

"I already know, my optical implant can zoom, enhance, reverse or flip images if need be."

"Then why the hell did you ask?"

"Technically I did not. However, I felt it would be polite to ask if I could."

"And you wonder why I always yell at you."

"Actually, I do not. I am often very aware of why you yell at me."

"Oh, and why's that?"

"I intimidate you. It arouses you but you cover that arousal with anger."

"Pfft. Hardly."

"It is true and we both know it. My physical appearance, my intelligence and my strength all cause you alarm."

"Annoyance is more like it."

"Several human psychological studies have shown that young boys often tease and pretend that they hate the girls they are attracted to because they do not understand how to deal with the attraction."

"Last time I checked, I was a girl."

"But the principle is the same. You are attracted to me and do not know how to deal with that attraction."

"You're a bigger fool than I thought if you believe that, Princess."

"Perhaps, perhaps not. At least I am not a fearful tika cat who cannot admit her attraction."

"I haven't heard you admit anything yet, Your Borrogance."

"I am attracted to you B'Elanna Torres. You are intelligent... beautiful and completely unpredictable in your volatility. It is... stimulating." *sniiiiffff *

*grrrr...* "...you've crossed far into my personal space Borg."

"And the cowardly tika cat tries to brandish its small claws as it quakes in its fur."

"Be careful who you call coward, Borg, a Klingon does not take such insults lightly."

"If the fur is yellow..."

"You're out of your mind. Now get off my lap."

"Make me."

"..."

"I think we both know that palming my breasts will not cause me to move off your lap."

"I'm pushing you off me and besides, I'm not even attracted to women."

"Oh? So that is not "Queens of Kang's Summit" you were reading?"

"I- I read it for the descriptions of Qo'nos..."

"Indeed. Not for the rather descriptive depictions of female-female Klingon sexual relations?"

"Those scenes are famous for their eloquent use of Klingonese to capture the feelings and sensations of the women. It's educational. I am relearning my heritage you know."

"That I do and you still have not removed your hands from my breasts."

"Well, we're in the Mess Hall and... I don't want people to stare at them. These biosuits leave nothing to the imagination, everyone can imagine what you look like naked!"

"Dujeychugh jagh nlv yItuHQo'"

"I don't think you're interpreting that proverb correctly."

"It serves my purposes. There is no shame in admitting your attraction, B'Elanna Torres."

"..."

"..."

"...I'm not a morning person."

"That is because you have not awoken to the right person."

*sigh* "Damn Borg..."

"Resistance is futile."

"Just so you know, we'll be re-enacting all twelve love scenes from my book."

"Acceptable."

~FIN~