A/N: This chapter is very speech heavy because the main details of the back story are revealed. Hope you enjoy, it's a bit longer than usual!

Chapter Eight: Explaining the Impossible

The Doctor listened as Joshua told him the short version of everything. Clara's arm was brushing against his own and he could tell from their close proximity how anxious she was.

"Rumours started going around that Pareux had new allies. Flown over from a different planet. Hartley was keeping cautious. She had look-outs in every town, just to make sure Pareux wasn't up to anything. He was, though, and he was very good at it this time. Simeon was his new ally, and with his greater intelligence Hartley never stood a chance." Joshua paused, his eyes drifting over to the lamplight. "She followed your orders from before, down to the very last detail. Just before she died, she started appointing people new roles. Me and my friend, we were her personal agents. We didn't realise how significant that role would be. In a rather dramatic turn of events, a small gang of Pareux's people terrorised our main camp – they stole everything that was important to us that day. Documents containing our deepest secrets, some even involving you, Doctor. Hartley was unarmed, just how she preferred, and protected the scrolls with her life. We were too late when we reached her. As I said before, that's when she mentioned you. My friend and I, we vowed to keep you safe, and to somehow find you. Without the documents we stood no chance. Her deputy, Vingols –"

The Doctor scoffed and interrupted. "Vingols! I knew Vingols. Impatient, impulsive and rebellious. I was always torn halfway between admiring him and hating him."

Joshua nodded, as if he was agreeing to the Doctor's feelings towards the man. "Vingols decided there was nothing else for it. Pareux had an army and they wouldn't hesitate to use force. So, we responded. We did just as Hartley asked – we were fighting to win back the scrolls."

The Doctor knew when he left Asterix XII that Vingols was the only person Hartley would see fit for the job. He approved, to a certain extent, because he knew deep down that if it ever came to it, Vingols wouldn't hesitate to fight back. The Doctor never thought, however, that the peace he set up would be destroyed so quickly.

Clara leaned into the Doctor, whispering in a barely audible mutter, "But why are the scrolls so important?"

The Doctor looked back up at Joshua, a new spark of curiosity raised by Clara's question. "Why are the documents so important, Joshua?"

Joshua glanced up at him, faint amusement shadowing his features.

"You helped us revolutionise our technology, Doctor. But Hartley listened to every word you said – in the early stages of the modern Renaissance, the transition between the new age of technology and standard living, you had to be careful who got their hands on the plans. Hartley recorded all the information you gave her and had plans to gradually change over from standard living to a technological environment. Otherwise, as technology increased, so would weapons. That was the last thing she wanted. All of these documents were signed by her, and, so future generations would know, she described how you helped with this revolution. Meaning, not only did our enemy have instructions that could be used against us, but they also had information on you. Two thoughts Hartley couldn't stand – not since you helped us on our way to freedom."

"And so what happened?"

There was a shift deep within Joshua. An inner turmoil bursting to escape, yet he did his best to keep it under wraps. He blinked a few times and one of his hands travelled across his stubble before resting on the side of his cheek.

"Pareux won with the help of Simeon. They killed every Revolutionite they could find. We split up into groups, small groups, hidden in each town. Monitoring the situation and reporting back to Vingols. But Vingols had other plans as well." There was a break. Joshua shuffled closer, as if he was telling a secret at a sleepover. "My friend and I were given special orders directly from Hartley and approved by Vingols. We were to become double agents inside Pareux's new government. Slowly build up a good reputation, report back to Vingols, until they let us into their darkest secrets so we could take them down from the inside. Only, things went wrong."

Joshua's chin started to crumple and he looked away as if he was ashamed. Clara watched him carefully, her heart breaking a little for him. What happened next obviously scarred him, more than he was even letting himself realise. His ice blue eyes stared at the floor, glaring at it as if it had personally insulted him.

"I was found out halfway through the operation. I had to flee. Luckily, Vingols managed to get me out just in time. But my friend was still in there, and we all knew it was a matter of time before they found out she wasn't a team player as well. She kept up a good act. Until…"

The Doctor's figurative heart sank. He could tell where this was going. His hand ghosted along Clara's arm up to her hand. He squeezed it tight until she responded. Still absorbed in the story, the Doctor prompted, "Until?"

Joshua met his gaze, fighting the urge to look away. This was his time for a confession; this was his time to finally share his experience, his feelings with someone. He had a willing audience, from which he could only hope to get something of a shred of forgiveness from.

"She found out the location of the scrolls. She reported back to Vingols, but he insisted they needed more men before storming the place," he explained, his tone cold and struggling to remain calm. "So, she acted alone. Late at night she broke into the lair and stole the most important documents. The ones Hartley was most concerned about – containing information on you, Doctor, and potentially harmful technology. She managed to just make it out of the building before they noticed. She put up a chase. But…"

The Doctor winced and briefly closed his eyes. Yes, he could guess the next part. As if it was written down on paper.

"Joshua?" he urged.

"It was Agent Oswin," Joshua burst out, unable to contain his emotion anymore. His eyes glazed over with tears, but he wouldn't allow them to fall. "The one they want, the one they're searching for. She was my friend. Well, the word friend doesn't even begin to explain our relationship. She was wonderful. Clara Oswald was her real name."

He heard Clara give an audible gasp from beside him. Her head ducked down underneath her hood and her hand started to shake while holding the Doctor's. He pulled her closer, draping a tight arm around her shoulders in an attempt to give her comfort. He needed to hear the ending of this story.

"Where is she, Joshua? Is she here?" the Doctor asked, but it sounded more like a desperate cry of help.

"No," Joshua snapped, suddenly angry. "She's dead. The last person to call me Josh. A large part of me died with her."

A strange, numb disappointment clung to the Doctor's chest. He was expecting it, he knew thousands of different Clara's were dying for him all throughout the universe, but coming face to face with the consequences of one… Agent Oswin, Joshua's best friend, had died saving the scrolls which in turn saved him from the hands of Simeon, the Great Intelligence, and President Pareux. It was a never ending circle. He felt like neither of them could escape.

He still had questions. Important questions, ones which affected his Clara. The one they couldn't take away from him. "What? Then why are they searching for her?"

"They don't know," Joshua answered simply, with a small shrug. "They think she's disappeared along with the documents, on her way back to Vingols any moment. Maybe it's better that she's not here, as much as it pains me to say it. If she was here, right now… I wouldn't like to be in her shoes if they found her, put it that way."

There was a short moment of silence, in which each individual person let the news sink in, each person thinking on the same story from a different perspective. Joshua from personal, heartbreak, the Doctor with dread and determination tainted with an overwhelming amount of guilt. And Clara, the person who should be scared at facing the same end, wrapped up in her own soft self-admiration for a life she didn't lead, because after all – she had saved the Doctor. It hadn't been for nothing.

Therefore, in a small, quiet voice, she asked Joshua, "How did she die?"

For the first time, Joshua properly stared at her. His gaze narrowed ever-so-slightly, trying to catch a glimpse of the person underneath the cloak.

"Stray bullet when they were chasing her," Joshua told her, still curious. "I found her just in time. I brought her here. Too much blood lost, not enough medical equipment… I contacted Vingols, but of course, what could he do? He just apologised and thanked her for getting most of the documents back. We burnt the documents together and I did my best. But she died in my arms."

The Doctor's eyes flashed. The image was too vivid in his mind – only instead of Joshua, he was holding Clara. His Clara, dressed exactly as she is now. It made him shiver, so much so that he was drawn towards an insecure sympathy for the man in front of him. He seemed like a good man (perhaps a little bit too attached to a Clara he didn't know) and no one deserved to lose her. He couldn't comprehend how that felt.

"I'm sorry," he managed to say, in between the overwhelming emotions he was experiencing.

"Yeah," Joshua responded with another shrug, turning around just in time for the first tear to fall.

Only it was far from the first tear. It was just different to cry freely in front of company. He still had his pride left.

Clara readjusted her hood and redirected the Doctor's line of vision so that he could read her expression. He gave one slow nod and turned back to Joshua, who was now standing beside one of the lamps. This wasn't going to be straightforward to explain.

"Joshua, listen to me. There's something I – something we need to tell you. It won't be easy to hear."

The sad man glanced over, a defeated smile resting on his face. "Really? Well, make a good job of it because lately… I'd believe anything."

The Doctor gripped harder onto Clara's hand. "Clara," he agreed.

Joshua frowned and took a step back. "…Clara?"

Clara, the real Clara, the original, gradually lowered her hood. Strands of hair fell in front of her face and stood up at the back. She brushed them away quickly, directly meeting Joshua's hard stare. Her eyes were soft and brown as they caught the lamplight, slightly rounded as they peered up at him, holding that familiar shadow of fear she usually tried to hide. But she didn't break off his glare, as if she was challenging him to believe his eyes.

The girl in front of Joshua was exactly the same girl he had held in his arms as she uttered her last words. Down to the very last detail. The only thought, apart from initial shock, that ran through his mind was just how beautiful she was. In the short space of losing her, had he really forgotten so quickly? Maybe it was because he never thought he'd have the chance to appreciate it again.

But then came the confusion. The renewed wave of sorrow. The blatant anger that this could be happening. What was happening?

"I'm not Oswin," Clara said, breaking the silence.

"But you are!" Joshua shouted, arguing with his eyes. "How can you not be?"

The Doctor interrupted as he jumped to his feet. "Joshua, you need to listen –"

"No, no, no!" he yelled in response, brushing the Doctor away. He only had eyes for Clara. "You died!" he accused, as if it was all her fault.

Clara shook her head. Her eyes started to fill with tears. "No, that wasn't me. Well, it was. Just not this me."

Joshua simply gaped. There was nothing else he could do. Clara stood up beside the Doctor, almost tripping up over her long cloak. This didn't help matters – now Joshua was focusing on how she was short like the Clara he knew too. There was only one question which sprang to his mind.

"Your arm," he started, edging forwards. This would make up his mind, this would be enough proof. "Your left arm. You – my Clara, she had a scar there. A permanent scar. I was with her when she got it in a confrontation during the first revolution."

Clara didn't look towards Joshua as she pushed away her sleeve to reveal clear, flawless skin on her left arm. She couldn't stand to see his disappointment. Instead, she looked at the Doctor, who was attempting to be encouraging, but she could see it in his eyes – he was just as scared as she was. The Doctor placed both of his hands on her shoulder and nodded to Joshua to sit back down with them. "Let us explain," the Doctor beseeched. "We'll tell you everything."


After the Doctor and Clara told Joshua the details of their latest dramatic adventure, he was oddly accepting that they were telling the truth. "Why would you make that stuff up?" he asked them, giving one of his solitary shrugs. "Besides, I can see it in your eyes, Clara – there's something there that seems different from… from my Clara."

"Your Clara was just as real as my Clara," said the Doctor, attempting to be comforting. "She was a real person with a real life of her own; she just originated from this Clara jumping in my timestream. To save me."

Clara smiled for the first time since the public announcement. She nudged the Doctor with her elbow, and teased, "Your Clara?"

The Doctor immediately blushed. "Yes – no! Maybe just a little bit," he stuttered. "What I mean is, you're my Clara, like I'm your Doctor. You know, like because we're –"

Shaking her head, Clara interrupted. "Doctor," she advised, "shut up."

"Yes! Good idea. Very good idea." A brief moment of awkward silence, in which the Doctor shot Clara a sideways stare. Then, rather abruptly he asked, "Do you mind if I call you 'my' Clara?"

Aware that Joshua was staring at them in a mixture of awe and sadness, Clara warned politely, "Doctor!"

But the Doctor wasn't quite ready to let it go. She was his Clara and he saw no reason to deny it, just because Joshua was gazing at them with a hint of regret. If it was the other way around (which the Doctor was selfishly glad it wasn't) then he was sure Joshua would make a distinction too. Clara bristled beside him as she realised he was going to bring this up later. She met his gaze, her eyebrows raised, attempting to tell him silently to drop it. The Doctor huffed but refused to look away.

"Extraordinary," Joshua put in. "You are exactly like her."

For some reason, this didn't sit well with the Doctor.

"Well, technically she can't be exactly like Oswin, because she was an echo, like a small –" Clara nudged him sharply in the ribs again. "But, yes, Joshua I can see what you mean," he corrected.

Joshua came to sit on the other side of Clara. He couldn't stop staring at her face, afraid that she would slip away from him again at any minute. He had a second chance and he wasn't going to blow it. "I've lost you once and I'm not going to lose you again."

The Doctor frowned, as if someone had just spray-painted the TARDIS a shade of pastel pink. "That's my line," he whispered, more to himself.

"This could be my chance to make it up to my Clara. To save the original," Joshua continued as if he wasn't interrupted.

As much as Clara felt sorry for Joshua and sympathised with him, she wanted to give him hope, but she didn't want to make things complicated. Delicately, she hedged, "Joshua, I'm not the Clara you knew. I'm not her. A part of her is in me somewhere, but we're not the same person."

"A part of her is enough for me. It'll fill the part of me that's been missing since I lost her." Joshua laughed and started to trace his stubble once more. "I'm not delusional, Clara. I know I can't live through you. Can't you see, though – this is my second chance. How many people get a second chance?"

His words sent a shiver down the Doctor's spine. He had a second chance saving Clara too – only from the opposite perspective of Joshua. The thought of Clara, manipulated and corrupted in that Dalek shell, and the thought of her falling off that cloud to the harsh snow below… It still made him wince and reach for her – just to confirm that she was still there.

Joshua gave one last lingering sigh before springing to his feet, a renewed energy in his step. "I'm not going to lie, Clara. You are in terrible danger. I'd say the most danger you've ever been in – until the Doctor told me of your story. We can't let Simeon anywhere near you. But we can't ignore his tyrannical government, either. We have to find a way to get you out of here and break Simeon's government at the same time."

Clara was smiling up at him, her eyes twinkling in a quiet thank you.

The Doctor pounced to his feet as well. He stood slightly in front of Joshua, trying to regain Clara's attention. "Exactly what I was going to say! Only it was going to be better. Much better." He scrunched his hands before flapping them about, reaching over to Clara to help her stand. "Now," he announced, "it's time for a plan."


Note: Ah, I could write jealous Doctor all day. Reviews wouldn't make my day, or my week, they'd make my month! Remember, I don't know if you're enjoying this or not, or if there's anything you'd like to see without you dropping a message or review. I'll try to get the next chapter up by the middle of the week!