Trowa slowly pushed the door open, and peeked inside the room that he and Quatre had shared at one time. The room wasn't at all different, and it seemed like any other night Trowa had been working late on. He'd come in as quiet as a mouse, and sneak into bed, finding that Quatre had been waiting up for him. They would cuddle until they both feel asleep, as Trowa told his lover all about his day at work. A perfect and to a perfect day.



He needed to talk to Quatre, and if this was the only way Trowa could do it, then so be it. Besides, maybe some of what he said would get through to Quatre's dreams. Trowa hoped he was having a nice dream. One light and sunny, like Quatre deserved.



Shutting the door without even a single peep, Trowa's feet were light as he approached the bed, and sat down in his own side of the bed. "I... I read your letter, Quatre. You are so sweet and innocent, you know that? I know so much about you, but I never realized that...." he paused as gently reached out slender fingers to stroke Quatre's blonde hair. He had forgotten how easily it could be confused for silk. "...That you would let yourself be mine, Quatre. The fact that you would let me call you mine, it makes me almost want to start crying, but I'm so busy smiling inside that I can't. And so, I will try to trust you, Quatre. I've never really trusted anybody, but I will do my best to try and trust you."



Quatre shifted, and Trowa pulled his hand away. Hadn't Quatre been sleeping? He hadn't been moving, his eyes had been shut, breathing deep and regular, and when he touched Quatre, he hadn't even felt his muscles flinch! Trowa's fears were relieved when Quatre just rolled over and flung out his arm to Trowa's side of the bed. Quatre called out his name. If Trowa had been sleeping like normal, he would have his arm around his waist, but instead Quatre's hand landed on his knee. Trowa continued.



"I... I want to tell you something, Quatre. It's something I've never told anyone. Not even Cathy." Trowa continued stroking his fingers through Quatre's hair. "Heero Yuy, as you know, was a politician dedicated to trying to resolve peace to the colonies and the Earth. However, he was assassinated. The Heero Yuy we know now, is only his codename. Myself, my codename was 03, Heavyarms, whatever people wanted to call me. My name too, belongs to a famous person.



Trowa Barton was the leader of the Barton Foundation, the people who originally came up with Operation Meteor. As you know, the Operation we underwent was not the original Meteor plan. You were chosen as a Gundam Pilot. Myself, I volunteered. I was a worker on the Gundam known as Heavyarms. My Gundam. I saw the man known as Trowa Barton shot and murdered when he demanded to go through with Operation Meteor.



You know..." Trowa smiled down at Quatre. "Some people say that those Doctors don't have a consciousness, but I know they do. Just as I know you do with your Space-Heart. They just hide them very well, like Heero or I. Of course, I'm not very good at hiding them around you, now am I?



Anyway, Trowa Barton was murdered, and I took his place. But there is more to it than that. It all started when I was very little. I have very few memories of my past. The only really vivid one I have is from the time when I lost my parents, and my older sister. It was a car crash. OZ was involved somehow, but I can't seem to remember how. I don't remember anything else. Not even my name. So everyone, including myself, started calling my Nanashi. No name.



After that, I joined a mercenary troop. They were very much like your Maguanacs, Quatre. I was raised by them. And I also hurt them. We picked up a young girl named Midii. Midii Une. She was wearing a locator, and led OZ to us. Many of my friends were killed.



Do you see why it's so hard for me to trust, Quatre? I really liked the Midii Une girl, and she ended up being half of the reason why the people who were raising my, died. The other half of the reason was me, because I trusted her. Do you know why she did, Little One? To protect her family. To protect them from OZ.



My dear little Quatre, I will try to trust, but first I have to learn to trust myself. Because I'm afraid that if I start to trust again, I'll let my guard down, and then people I care about may be hurt. That's part of why I'm telling you all about this while you are asleep. And one day, Quatre, I promise I'll tell you while you are awake."



He slid Quatre's hand of his knee, and stood up, feeling the bed shift slightly. With a glance at the boy, whose eyes were tightly shut and his breathing still regular, Trowa turned from the room. He was stopped at the door by the sound of light feet behind him. Trowa was stopped from bolting from the room by slender yet firm arm encircle his waist. "Please don't go, Trowa."



Trowa leaned his forehead against the door. "You... you were awake the whole time."



"Yes." Quatre nodded, feeling the fabric of Trowa's shirt on his cheek. "Did you really think that I could sleep without you by my side?" he paused, and laughed after a moment. "You know, I can feel you blush all the way from back here." Quatre spun Trowa around, so that he could bury his face in Trowa's front. Quatre didn't like being in the back. The taller boy was still frozen. "Thank you, Trowa, for starting to trust me. And I truly am sorry if I started to undermine that blossoming trust by pretending to be asleep."



With trembling fingers, Trowa put a hand on the small of Quatre's back, making both of them suddenly relax. Touching each other seemed like heaven after barely even looking at each other for three days. He slowly smiled and kissed the top of Quatre's head. "It's okay. I understand." With his other hand, Trowa began brushing aside Quatre's bangs so he could see those beautiful blue-green eyes he loved so much. But Quatre pulled away.



"Please don't go, Trowa." he repeated, lowering his eyes and clutching at his baby blue nightshirt. Trowa instantly knew something was wrong. He asked Quatre what it was, who just smiled lightly and rubbed his forehead, saying he had been so tired, he'd run into a wall one day. "I... I want you to stay here, with me!"



He stared at the blonde pilot, his face straight but eyes looking very sly. "But, Quatre," he pointed out. "I don't have my pajamas with me."



"So? You usually sleep in your boxers anyway. I'm the one who likes sleeping in pajamas, because it's so cold! After spending so much time with the Maguanacs in the desert, so many places seem cold!"



"But, Quatre," Trowa started again. "We both need sleep. And that will just make us more tired and sore for tomorrow at school."



"What will?" he asked innocently.



Trowa stared at Quatre, trying to figure out if he honestly didn't know or was playing innocent. He blushed furiously, and smiled. "Nevermind, Quatre." Trowa pulled Quatre close to him. "I'd be glad to stay here again." He reached a hand towards Quatre's chest and began to slowly undue the buttons on his shirt. "It's not fair that I'm the only one sleeping in boxers though. I'll keep you warm, Quatre."



Quatre helped Trowa get his shirt off as he stepped out of his pants. He was wearing pink, blue, and white plaid boxers. Under his clothing was quickly discarded, Trowa had on plain green ones. They both fell back on the bed, and scurried to get under the bed covers. Safely under the covers, Quatre snuggled into Trowa's arms, where he looked up into Trowa's eyes. "I missed you so much, Trowa. Please don't ever leave me again. I love green on you, I really do, but not when it's all over your face."



"I missed you too, Quatre." Trowa answered, his smile small but bright. "I missed your laugh, your smile, your hair," he began running his fingers through Quatre's hair again. "Your eyes, your warmth, your friendliness, and your company. But I also missed your lips," Trowa bent his head and kissed Quatre softly on the lips. "Your taste," he kissed him again, longer and harder this time. Quatre moaned pleasurably in response. "That sound you make when I press the right buttons. "I missed your mind, your whining, your lectures when I get home late, your flirting, and everything else that makes me love you." He lowered his head to kiss Quatre along his neck, pulling him closer. "Now what did you miss about me?"



"Your ass."



Trowa pulled his head up and looked Quatre straight in the eye. Quatre had a goofy smile plastered on his face and was trying hard not to laugh. Trowa just shook his head and leaned his forehead against Quatre's. He planned on making Quatre pay for teasing him, but saw Quatre flinch in pain. "What is it?" he asked, concerned. Trowa sighed when he remembered. "Let me see." Quatre tried to pull away, so Trowa rolled him over unto his back, and pinned him to the bed.



He swallowed hard, staring up at Trowa above him. Quatre could feel himself shake slightly, but he wasn't sure what it was for. Scared what Trowa would say when he saw the nasty bruise Quatre had inflicted upon himself? Or was it just because Trowa had pinned him so easily to the bed? He closed his eyes and tried to let his muscles relax, turning his head to the side so that Trowa could see the bruise for himself. Gentle fingers lifted the blonde bangs aside and he heard Trowa swear.



"You did this walking into a wall?"



"No. I... I... I fell asleep at my desk and fell over unto it."



"Please stop lying to me, Quatre. If I'm going to trust you, shouldn't you trust me?"



Quatre tightened his closed eyes. "I was so frustrated at myself that I started banging my head against the desk to make myself feel better." he waited for the stinging lecture he knew would come from Trowa, but instead he felt a warm hand tilt his head up and kiss him on the lips. He opened his eyes in surprise. "Aren't you going to yell at me?"



"Not now. That was for trusting me. I'll make sure to give you the extra long lecture tomorrow morning." Trowa place on a finger on Quatre's nose. "I told you that we weren't going to sleep if we shared a bed. We both need to rest, Quatre, so go too sleep, okay?"



"Okay." He felt tears come to his eyes, and he snuggled into Trowa when the taller pilot had unpinned him. He wiped them away. Now that he had his Trowa back, he felt like his broken heart was repairing itself. "Are you still going to go away, Trowa? Because now that you and I have stopped fighting, I don't mind if you do-" he was silenced by another kiss from Trowa.



"I told you, we can leave everything else until tomorrow. Now go to sleep, Quatre."



"Yes sir...." Quatre yawned as he closed his eyes that had not seen sleep in ages, making sure that the first thing he told Trowa in the morning was how much he loved him.



****The End