I have no idea how I slipped out of my coat, but I did. I dropped my backpack, extended my arms backward and ran for my life. As I disappeared into the forest following Blaine, I heard Joe bellowing with rage.
"Get back here! I'm not through with you!" Of course, my adrenaline was pumping so fast that he might as well have been speaking a different language. I ignored his outraged roar and tore out after my love into the woods.
We ran for at least ten minutes, weaving in and out of trees and running over ferns and huckleberry bushes in our haste, heading for our fort that we had carved out of the underbrush last summer. The cool thing about the fort was that unless you knew exactly what to look for, it just appeared to be a huge clump of underbrush with a few trees sticking out of it. It was well concealed, with the entrance screened by a huge sword fern that had fronds longer than I was tall. Inside, we had cut a ten foot wide hollow into the Azalea bushes and the various trees that formed the perimeter. The space was large enough for us to stand, but barely so. There was a roof of sorts formed by the underbrush. It hid us from above, but didn't keep the rain out. We also had made a rabbit hole out the back side, and if we had to, we could always crash through the walls. This place would hide us for a while. No one else knew where it was.
Blaine had easily outdistanced me through the forest, a result of his track training, where I had played baseball, not the most athletic of sports. Finally I reached the fort and carefully picked my way through the fern, careful to keep all the fronds intact. As I walked into the opening, I paused to catch my breath.
I glanced at Blaine. What I saw tore out my heart. He was standing there in the shadows, face dappled by the fading afternoon sun reaching through the brush. The light caught his many tears, make him a tragic figure. He stood there just looking at me, face contorted into a mask of suffering and ultimate sadness. His mouth was working, trying to say something, anything, but unable to. I tried to move toward him but I was frozen in place by the visage in front of me.
He looked to the heavens and screamed. I never want to hear its like again. I swear that it was the sound of his soul crying out in torment, like his very life force was leaving him to express his pain. And it went on and on, crying out his grief and anguish.
At long last, he exhausted his breath and collapsed to his knees sobbing loudly. I found I could move again and was next to him faster than a blink. Putting his arms around me, I pulled him to me. We over balanced and fell to the ground. I didn't care. My love was in pain and he needed me. And I needed him.
Blaine was not a huge kid, but he was strong. So strong I thought he might break my ribs. He held on, like a drowning man to a life raft, wailing into my shoulder. I could feel his hot tears soaking through my shirt, and my own running down my face and falling into his hair. His shaking was uncontrollable, made worse by the wracking sobs that came so often I thought he was going to fall apart in my arms. Every so often Blaine would moan and then throw his head into my shoulder, trying to bury himself in my body.
I held him for a long time. The next time I was aware of what was around me, it was near dark. I had thought I heard Brenda's voice a couple of times, calling our names, but we didn't answer. How she could have not heard us, I'll never understand. Maybe she had found us and decided to leave us be. Either way, I didn't care.
As he calmed, Blaine began to tell me of all the shit his dad had put him through over the years, trying to make sure he would be a real man. Trying to toughen Blaine up, make him callous and macho just like he was. I spit in disgust. Several times. Some of the things he described were nothing short of torture, forcing this sensitive boy to suppress his desires, hide his true feelings, and ultimately bend to his will.
I can honestly say that I have never been so angry as I was at that moment. I really wanted to kill Joe in a slow, painful manner. Of course, I would never actually do it, but I relished each and every thought.
Blaine sniffled, wiping his face on his sleeve. "What now? Where can I go? I can't go home." He had a haunted expression on his face, like he wanted to look over his shoulder.
"That's the easy part. We go to my house. I am sure you can stay there until we get stuff sorted out. And we have my fort if we need to hide." We had built a similar fort in the brush not too far from my house. Not nearly as large, but the two of us could sit comfortably, and sleep there if necessary, after I got the sleeping bags in our closet. "Why don't we wait a while longer and then go get the bikes. We can ride by flashlight to my place."
"You lost your back pack, though."
"I'll sneak in and get it, or I'll ride right behind you. Maybe we can ride double. It doesn't matter. But we can't stay here tonight. I don't have a jacket." I paused. "Look at me."
He turned his head toward me, his eyes meeting mine. My heart broke. Eyes are not meant to express that kind of sorrow. Especially the eyes of a young boy. This young boy.
I spoke slowly and deliberately, punctuating my words with a squeeze of my arms. "We will get through this. I know it's your dad, but you and I are together, and that makes this OUR fight. I will make sure you are safe, and then we will take care of anything that comes our way."
"I don't want to drag you into this,K. I don't want to burden you with my-"
"DON'T! DON'T SAY IT! YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN! WE ARE TOGETHER! We are together. What happens to you happens to US! If I were in your situation, I am sure that you would be here for me. Right? RIGHT?" He nodded. "And for all I know, my situation may be the same as yours is. You know Dad. Mom may understand now. A week ago, never. But now maybe.
"What time is it?"
Blaine glanced at his watch. "Eight fifteen. Lets wait until ten and then go for the bike."
"Okay. I wish I had a cell phone, I'd call my mom."
"Yeah, me too. Hey, Kurt?"
"Yeah?"
His eyes pierced my soul. "I can't tell you how much it means to me that you are here right now. If I had to go through this alone, I don't know what I'd do. I mean, where would I be able to go?" He sighed heavily and then looked me in the eyes once again. There was a fierce determination and resolve in his gaze behind the sadness.
"Kurt, I love you. I love you now more than ever. Why you love me, I don't know, but I am so grateful you do. I was so afraid that you would run away when I told you, that you would tell everyone about me. Never in my wildest dreams did I think you would love me back. You're right, Kurt. We are together. And no matter how it turns out with your folks, I want you to know that I am with you , and I won't leave you. I want to be with you forever. All I can do is hope that you want to be with me." His eyes were pleading now. How could he convey so many emotions with his eyes?
"Forever." A simple word loaded with meaning. Yes, we were going to be together forever. And if that meant defying my parents so we could be one, then so be it.
We sat there in a companionable melancholy silence, just soaking in each others' presence. Neither of us spoke much, relying instead on little gestures to covey our feelings. He would stroke my cheek, I would squeeze his hand. He would snake his arm around me and hug me, I would hug him back. We shared tender kisses as night completely overtook day, the only light from the moon filtering through the leaves, giving the scene a surreal aspect.
Ten o'clock came at last. We crept out of our sanctuary and moved quietly back toward Blaine's house. It took us some time to get there, as we couldn't really see where we were going. We didn't dare use the flashlight because it may be seen and we didn't really want to face Joe.
The house was dark. Both Brenda's car and Joe's truck were gone. That meant the house was empty. I pointed out the missing cars to Blaine and he nodded grimly. Motioning Blaine to get the bike out and get ready to go, I padded over and tried the front door. Locked, of course. I pantomimed keys and he dug them out of his pocket, tossing them to me. Since it was dark, I missed them and they made a loud clatter on the cement. We both froze, but there was no reaction from the house.
Picking up the keys, I found the right one and unlocked the deadbolt. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and jumped back, expecting someone to leap out at me. No one came. I quickly ran through the house and down the stairs. My backpack and jacket were on the floor, with shards of broken glass and debris caused by Joe's rampage.
One thing did catch my attention. It was a picture of Joe and Blaine at the lake where they take their fishing trip in the spring. They had looked happy together in that picture, Joe ruffling Blaine's hair, both smiling. Now it was in little pieces, torn up and strewn about with the rest of the trash.
Quickly, I grabbed my jacket and back pack, bolted up the stairs and out the front door. I debated on taking the time to lock it and decided we shouldn't advertise the fact we had been there. I turned the key in the lock, sliding the bolt home.
Blaine started up the bike, it's roar shattering the silence. As I hurried over to the bike, I dug out the flashlight I had put into my backpack. We would need the extra light it would provide. As an afterthought, I ran back into the workshop and got the big battery powered work light that Joe used when he was under a car or truck working on the engine. It would give us even more light.
I slipped my helmet on as I mounted the bike, turned on the work light, and we were off. Blaine took it nice and easy, since we weren't really in a hurry and is WAS dark out. We wound through the woods, following the trail we knew so well. Riding mostly in silence, we agreed sometime during the trip to walk the last five hundred yards, just in case. We would stash the bike at my fort and hoof it from there.
As we got closer to the fort, I began to worry a bit. I had never been out here in full dark, and never from this direction. I hoped I could find the entrance, and we did find it with no problem. We pushed the bike into the low clearing, putting it down carefully. Since we no longer needed the work light, we left it with the bike. I took a brief last look around to ensure that no one else had been there, and it appeared the fort was still our secret.
Once more shouldering our packs, we headed toward my house, circling around to come at it from a different direction out of habit. We had hidden our fort from Her Royal Hind Ass for over a year. I knew she searched out in the direction we came from because we had come upon her one day as we returned from a jaunt into the hills. She even told us that when she finally found our hidey-hole, she would destroy it, so naturally we told her all about it and that she would never find it. (I never will understand why she hated me so much.)
Approaching our neighborhood, Blaine pointed out that there were lights flashing about where my house was. Red and blue lights. The cops were at my house. I stopped, falling behind a couple of steps before Blaine turned and looked at me.
"Maybe we should camp out here until the cops leave. I don't want to walk into there and no know what is going on."
"Hey, do you think Chris is up? Maybe we can go there until things chill out."
"We can try, but I don't know if his mom will call mine or not. Better we hang here, I think." Blaine looked dubious, but didn't press the issue.
Not more than five minutes after we halted our advance, I saw three flashlights ranging in our direction. They were really bright, like the ones the police use. They were about 200 yards away, separated by about thirty yards, and I could faintly hear them calling our names. They may have heard the bike, I realized suddenly.
"Let's head back to the fort, Blaine. I don't like this."
"We have to head down there sooner or later, and I can't think of a safer place to be than with the cops, can you?"
Before I could come up with an answer, I heard a voice I recognized. It belonged to one of the local patrolmen. Danny and my dad had served together in the army, sort of. Not the same unit, but the same time period. They met each other when they got back in the States. He and Dad had been close friends, if Dad had any.
"Kurt! Blaine! I know you can hear me! I heard the bike, and Brenda told us you have one. It's okay to come out now. Joe isn't going to get anywhere near you two. We've already taken care of that." Blaine and I exchanged glances. "If you don't come out, we'll have to bring out the dog and track you down. Hannah told us about your fort out this way. Come on boys! I swear to you it is okay." One thing I knew about Danny, when he gave his word, he meant it.
"I think it's all right, Blaine. I trust Danny." He hesitated, and then nodded We started toward Danny's voice. I turned on the flashlight and immediately all three patrolmen flashed us with their lights. Shielding my eyes, I yelled, "Mind turning those down a bit?" They didn't respond.
Danny's voice came again from behind the center light he must have been holding. "Kurt, put the light down, and drop your back packs. We just need to make sure everyone is safe here We need to check you for weapons. Just stay there and don't move. Everything will be okay, I promise."
I stopped, took a step backward, and looked at Blaine. He looked as confused as I felt. Danny kept talking.
"Joe has been arrested, and we need to be sure that you aren't going to do anything stupid, okay? All we are going to do is pat you down and search your packs, then we'll walk you to the house."
Blaine and I both had the same reaction at the same time. We started to back away because we were frightened.
"Don't Move! Hands up! Hands up NOW!" The other cops were screaming at us, and it scared us even more.
Danny's bellow cut through. "STAND DOWN! Kurt Blaine, come on now. These guys don't know you like I do, so they think that you may be a danger right now. I know better." He lowered his light. I could see his silhouette now. He had his hands out to his side, empty except for the flashlight.
I made my decision. Looking at Blaine, I put my arm around his shoulder and gently propelled him toward Danny. The other cops didn't say a word, but did follow us with their lights. We approached slowly, not hurrying, but not hesitating either. Danny dropped his arms to his sides as we reached him. He spoke quietly and gently, asking us to drop our packs. The other officers were close behind us, and emptied out the backpacks. Danny quickly patted us down, asked Blaine to take out his pocket knife, and just as quickly returned it to him.
"Your parents are worried about you two, Kurt. And your mom was nearly hysterical, Blaine. What happened up there? All Brenda would say is you two had a fight with Joe." He looked from Blaine to me expectantly. Seeing we weren't going to answer, he leaned in and dropped his voice so only Blaine and I could hear it. "Joe kept going on. He said you two were gay. Is that true?" Genuine curiosity, I thought, no condemnation or hostility.
Blaine stared hard at him and then nodded, dropping his eyes. Danny looked to me, and I nodded also. Then my dad's friend said something that surprised the hell out of both of us. "It's okay boys. I understand. I am too." Thunderstruck, we walked the rest of the way in silence.
As we approached the house, I could see three patrol cars in the front yard, Brenda's car in the driveway, and Joe's truck sitting in the front lawn. I also saw several neighbors standing in their yards wondering what was going on. We ignored them all.
