I imagine the grub for the game lying on the floor, and a large computer to hook it up to. I also imagine 6 controllers. I made this version the slightly hacked version, with 6 players and infinite lives for each.

"4w sw33t, 1ts h4ck3d."

I nudge the grub a little, and it hisses in complaint. Hacked grubs tend to be irritable. But it starts the game nonetheless.

The title screen appears from the dark screen. It isn't much different, considering it has an Alternian-like landscape in the background; black and purple. 6 little pixelated trolls, a burgundy blood, olive blood, indigo blood, yellow blood, a jade blood, and a violet blood sea dweller, were running in sync towards the left of the screen screen. Latula, being the first player, selects the start button, and the tiny trolls all do an unrealistically large flip off the handle into the first level.

Latula is the burgundy blood character and has large swirly horns. You'd think that would prevent him from doing flips. But no. I'm the olive blood, who has one nubby horn, and one sharp horn. Aradia is the indigo blood, who has one tall straight horn and one tall curvy horn. Ardeus is the yellow blood, with forward facing lightning bolt horns. Kinda like someone ripped Eridan's horns off then stuck them on this troll backwards. Kankri is the jade blood. I love how he got the only girl character. She has medium-sized horns, one leaning forward a bit. Finally, Mituna is the purple blood, with tall straight horns.

"H4h4, our blood colors 4r3 tot4lly m1x3d up."

"0 Y4, 1M 4 H00K3R H1GH8L00D L1K3 CN!"

"Pfft! 1'm not going to s4y 4nyth1ng cons1d3ring th3r3s 4 r34l burgundY blood right h3r3."

"That's rather considerate! Oh look I'm a big strong indigo blood!"

"I'm an oliv3 blood! F33l mY 2hipping wrath!"

We all keel over laughing. This is amazing.

"I m yellow blood! He r me lithp!"

"Hey!" Sollux, Tuna and I say this in unison. Cute.

"It's true th9ugh. M9st 9f y9ur descendence lisp at s9me p9int in their lives."

"Oh no, look, I'm b3ing trigg3r3d bY Kan, oF all p3opl3!"

He just snorts and turns his attention to the screen.

With all of the laughing we've been doing, we didn't realize that the game started. We have all been thwarted by that first Loomba. (AN: Loombas are the equivalents of Goombas.)

"LuckilY, w3 all hav3 inFinat3 liv32."

"D3m h4cks do3."

She restarts the level, and this time we're actually paying attention. We all deftly jump over the Loomba, and Ardeus lands on its head, flattening it into nothing but a small puff of smoke.

We all continue on. Tuna experimentally mashes some of the buttons. His character shoots a harpoon from a spontaneous harpoon gun.

"0 C00L. 1 GU322 175 7H3 833 8U770N 70 4774CK."

We all start pressing the B button. My character swings a pair of nunchucks. Sweet. Ninja. Kankri's character stabs with a short dagger. Latula has a crescent sword. Ardeus uses a psionic blast of blue and red. Aradia swiftly shoots an arrow from a bow. The arrow hits Mituna, and his character disappears in a puff of smoke.

"W7F 4R4D14!"

"Sorry! That was an accident"

He huffs, but his character quickly respawns. This time he jumps up and gets some extra height on my head. Not sure how he wasn't impaled by the horns. But oh well. Grubtendo logic.

We mess around for a while like this. We barely make it to the finish line before the timer runs out. Mituna falls off of cliffs. Ten times. Ten. he is so horrible at this. He isn't really good at much.

After every death, he beat himself up. Latula had to comfort him. If there was a life counter, Tuna would have gotten at least five game overs from enemies, cliffs, and everything you could possibly die on.

Finally, we make it to the end if the level. That took so long. Jegus.

"FinallY. Took u2 long 3nough. What with Tuna Fi2h ov3r th3r3 dYing 3v3rY Fiv3 23cond2."

"5HU7 UP." he mumbles. His checks are tinted yellow from crying. Latula gives me a look that tells me to stop.

I move over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"H3Y, Tuna, it2 ok. It2 Your Fir2t tim3 plaYing. You 2houldnt F33l bad."

He sniffs and turns away from us, crossing his arms.

"How about w3 do 2om3thing 3l23? I'll Find 2om3thing that Your3 good at. I promi23."

"Y0U... Y0U W1LL?"

"Y3ah bro, th3r32 got to b3 2om3thing."

He smiles a little and wipes his eyes. He gives me a hug. Aww, he's so sweet.

"Ok, 2o what do You want to do, Tuna?"

"1 D0N7 KN0. *sniff* WH47 D0 Y0U 7H1NK?"

"Hmm..."

"How 4bout w3 w4tch l1k3 GrubTub3 v1d3os or som3th1ng?"

"5UR3."

"I can probablY u23 Trollian Fuch2ia to hack th3 d32troY3d 23rv3r2."

"Wo4, wh4ts th4t?"

"It2 th3 3mpr322'2 v3r2ion oF Trollian. I hack3d it oFF oF h3r 2up3r comput3r thing."

"Didn't kn0w y0u were a hacker."

"What 3l23 am I 2uppo23d to do For hour2 at a tim3 with onlY mY comput3r and mY imagination?"

He just shrugs. I make the game grub on the ground disappear and replace it with some slightly larger speakers and a keyboard. I sign in to Trollian and it leads to the Fuchsia page.

"What the f* is this bs"

All of the pre and post-scratch ancestors' names were listed on the sidebar, as well as the members of the Midnight Crew, Calliope and Caliborn, and all of the pre and post-scratch humans. All of the guards were listed too, including Ardeus.

"Thi2 i2 what th3 3mpr322 2332."

That left them speechless.

"5H3... 574LK5... U5?..."

"W3ll 2o do I."

"Umm... how 4bout you g1v3 us th3 b3n3f1t of th3 doubt 4nd just h4ck th3 s3rv3rs."

"Yeah just do that"

"Ok. 2orrY. I didn't know You guY2 would b3 2o... Y3ah."

I see Tuna's hands clench. Uh oh. He's about to go bipolar on us. I exchange a glance with Latula.

"WH47 M4K5 Y0U 7H1NK 7H47 Y0U C4N W47CH U5 L1K3 7H15! 1 7H0UGH7 Y0U L1KD U5!" he yells at the top of his lungs. His face is yellow again, but this time with anger.

"Tun4, b4b3, your3 go1ng b1pol4r 4g41n. C4lm down."

"1 W1LL N07 C4LM D0WN!"

He turns to face me.

"4ND Y0U! Y0U 4R N0 83773R 7H4N 7H3 C0ND3222 H3R53LF! WHY 4M 1 3V3N H3R3? 1 D0NT W4N7 70 83 4NYW3R N34R 4 534 DW3LL3R 5UK-UP!"

He throws a poorly-aimed punch at me, only missing me by a few inches. I jump back in surprise.

"Tun4, stop b3for3 you hurt som3on3! Pl34s3!"

"0U774 MY W4Y, 8*!"

He starts running away, stomping his feet. I watch after him in dismay. How does Latula have enough patience to stay with him?

After he gets about 100 feet away, he stops, sits down, thinks for a minute, then sulks back towards us.

"50RY GUY2..."

"It2 ok."

"8U7 175 N07. 175 N07!"

He curls up and covers his head with his arms, which proved difficult considering he still has his helmet on.

"D1D 1 HUR7 4NY0N3?"

"Tri3d to punch m3, but You mi223d."

"1M 50RY..."

"No, it2 not a big d3al, r3allY. I know that Your logic and 2tuFF wa2 cloud3d. It2 ok."

I sit down next to him and rub his back. I can hear him crying underneath his arms. Latula sits on the other side of him, and hugs him. He looks up at her, pale yellow tears still running down his cheeks, and hugs her back.

I feel the now-familiar tug of waking up. Ardeus looks confused, and I assume that he feels it too.

"W3'r3 waking up it 233m2. BY3! Hop3 You F33l b3tt3r Tuna!"

We wake up together, and I sit up.

"Th t w s... quite the n p."

"It r3allY wa2, wa2nt it?"

"Ye h. Wh ts up with th t Mitun guy?"

"H3 had an accid3nt b3For3 h3 di3d. P3opl3 saY that h3 ov3ru23d hi2 p2ionic pow3r to prot3ct hi2 Fri3nd2. H3 2u2tain3d brain damag3 From it, and ha2 a doubl3 p3r2onalitY. Th3 whol3 thing i2 2hroud3d in mY2t3rY. Kurloz wa2 th3 onlY 3Y3 witn322."

"I h d no ide ."

"Not manY know that about him. H3 do32nt lik3 to talk about it."

"Hmm. Well then how do you know th t?"

Awkward silence.

"I... it wa2 th3 Trollian Fuch2ia. That wa2 what 23t him oFF in th3 Fir2t pla23. Wait a 23cond... I... I cau23d him to go into hi2 oth3r p3r2onalitY... and now h32 up23t about it... uuugh."

I slump down. I messed up. I made Mituna all upset, and it's my fault. I never should have shown them my home page for Trollian. S*.

"Hey, he'll get over it. He's h d thous nds of sweeps to get used to being like this. I'm sure he's ok."

I sit up, realizing I'm being a wiggler. I lean against the wall and nod.

"Wh t do you w nt to do?"

"I dunno."

"W nn w tch those GrubTube videos you were t lking bout?"

"2ur3. Ju2t giv3 m3 a minut3."

I get to work on my computer, auto-signing in to Trollian, then hacking the broken servers.

I reach the GrubTube homepage.

"What do You want to watch?"

"Hmm... oh, when I w s younger, there w s this ch nnel th t took p rt the secret me nings of v rious g mes, their ch r cters, nd v rious other spects of the g mes. I remember those videos being interesting."

"Tho23 2ound cool! What wa2 th3 chann3l call3d?"

"I think the Grub Theorists." (AN: Yes, this is based off of the youtube channel The Game Theorists. MASSIVE DISCLAIMER)

I type it into the search bar near the top of the screen.

About 300 results turn up. I click the top result, being the channel. It leads me to a channel page where they apparently had a lot of videos, and three different trolls sharing it. I scroll through the 'Favorites' bar, and find one that looks interesting. It's about how the burgundy blood that Latula played as in Super Grub Bros. is secretly a hemospectrum suckup. Wow. Oh jegus this is eye-opening.

We watch other videos, each about 15 minutes long. At one point, a bucket flashes across the screen for ironic illustration purposes. Ardeus shudders. I realize that at one point, he had to meet the demand of the drones that came knocking at hive doors. Huh.

The day passes as we surf GrubTube. Two hours later, we're watching stuff that was in no way related to the original search. It kinda works like that.

AN: Tomorrow, I'm leaving for Hawaii. There might be wifi in the hotel room, and there might not me. If there isn't, then I won't be able to update for about a week. Anyways, I hope you all are enjoying the story!