Sleepless Night

Sasuke panted heavily. He sat straight up on his bed and clenched his fists, while he was trying desperately to get his breathe under control. He had waked up from a nightmare and because this dream felt so real, he was terrified. Like always, he had dreamed about his parents, on that terrible night when his own older brother had killed them. Sasuke's heart ached so much whenever he thought about it and this bad dream only brought the memories back to life. The young Uchiha didn't know how long he had dreamed but it felt like an eternity.

He could recall every single detail from this event and it drove him insane. Sasuke closed his eyes and tried to block out the images of his parents' dead bodies, tried to forget the red sharingan of his murderous older brother and his brother's cruel words which was ringing in his head.

But it was useless. He still could see those horrible images and hear his brother's words nevertheless. He opened his eyes again and looked desperately into the darkness. His dream had felt so real and the memories were haunting him. He suddenly felt so overwhelmed that he couldn't bear it any longer to stay in his room. He only wanted to get out from there, as if he could run away from his memories by doing so. Without a second thought, Sasuke stormed out from his apartment into the fresh night air outside. He didn't care that it was raining. He didn't care either that he was only wearing his pjamas or that he was barefooted. He ran through Konoha's empty streets aimlessly. He felt like Itachi would hurt him again and he tried to run away from those terrible images before his eyes.

But the images stayed before his eyes, no matter how fast he ran. Sasuke didn't realize how drenched he already was; he continued to run although his chest already hurt and his breathe hitched. He ran as fast as he could, while he closed his eyes and tried again to block those images out, but to no avail. He could still see every detail from that terrible night and this nightmare was one of the worst he ever had.

Sasuke continued to run in the rain. He only wanted to forget everything but it was impossible.

When a pair of strong hands suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders, Sasuke panicked. He imagined it was Itachi before him and he thought that murderer was back. Without thinking, Sasuke began to struggle and tried to free himself. But the strange hands grabbed his wrists.

"No! Let go of me!" Sasuke cried. Fear grew inside him as he realized that he couldn't free himself from that grip.

"Calm down." Said a voice which he knew really well. "It's me."

A second later, Sasuke felt a strong grip on his face, which forced him to look into the concerned face of his sensei. The raven haired boy breathed heavily, while his heart pounded like crazy in his chest. When he realized who was standing before him, Sasuke immediately stopped fighting, but Kakashi grabbed his shoulders tightly as he looked at his student.

"What happened? Why are you outside in the middle of the night?" Kakashi asked and checked the boy for any injuries. He just came back from a mission, when he saw Sasuke storming through the dark and rainy night. Kakashi was wearing a long white raincoat, but when he noticed how wet his student was, he pulled the coat out and put him over Sasuke's shoulders. "You're totally wet. And you are barefooted too. Did something happen?"
Unable to find the words, Sasuke could only shake his head. It was when his sensei pulled the coat around his body that he realized how cold it was. Sasuke began shaking, but at the same time, he felt safe. He didn't know why but Sasuke had the feeling that now that his sensei was here, nothing could happen to him and his fear vanished.

Kakashi felt concerned. He knew that something was wrong or else he wouldn't found Sasuke outside at midnight, drenched in the rain. But he decided to ask his questions later, because first, he wanted to bring Sasuke home. "Come on, I'll bring you back home."

To his surprise, Sasuke made no protest as he scooped him up in his arms. It seemed that Sasuke didn't care and so Kakashi brought the boy back to his apartment. When they arrived, Kakashi put Sasuke down on his feet again. Sasuke didn't move from the spot where Kakashi had left him. He was still very confused and the memories of the massacre were still present in his head.

The silver haired jounin began to search for fresh and dry clothes for Sasuke. He pulled out a fresh blue pjamas from the dresser and a towel which he used to dry Sasuke's wet hair. Sasuke didn't respond or protest; he simply let it go. And he didn't care either.

"Come change your clothes and then we'll talk." Kakashi said as he placed the pjamas in Sasuke's arm.

Sasuke looked up and he knew that Kakashi was smiling under his mask. Somehow he had the feeling that Kakashi already knew what was wrong and so he nodded and went to his bathroom.

Meanwhile Kakashi waited patiently for Sasuke. He was sure that he knew what the problem was. Sure, Sasuke had some nightmares again and this was the reason why he had found the child during the night outdoors in Konoha's empty streets. The jounin sensei knew that Sasuke suffered from nightmares from time to time. This was no surprise after everything the child went through. And he understood it perfectly. When he was younger, he suffered nightmares too. He had needed years to come to terms with his past and even today, he sometimes found himself dreaming about the horrible memories.

But now it wasn't so difficult to handle this anymore. He was an adult and he was an experienced shinobi. But Sasuke was still a child and he felt that it was his obligation to help his student through this. Plus, he wanted to be there for him.

After a couple of minutes, Sasuke walked back into the room. He wore the fresh clothes and sat obediently next to Kakashi.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi asked and went straight to the point.

Sasuke didn't answer and looked down to his knees. He felt so confused and ashamed about his own behaviour. It was humiliating that Kakashi had found him like that, but he was suddenly terrified about everything and he had only wanted to run away. But how should he explain this to his sensei?

Kakashi sighed inwardly. "I see you don't want to talk right now. I'm worried about you and you should know that you can tell me everything. Sasuke, I need to know when something is bothering you. I want to make sure you are alright and today I know this is definitely not the case."

The young boy took a deep breath. He was unsure if he should tell his sensei or not. It was difficult for Sasuke to put his feelings into words and it was even more difficult for him to share his feelings with somebody. Sasuke trusted Kakashi. His sensei had never given him a reason not to but that didn't change the fact that he had problems to be honest, especially when it came to admitting his own weakness. He didn't look up as he tried to tell his sensei a half hearted lie. "It's nothing. I wasn't tired, that's all."

"Do you honestly expect me to believe this nonsense?" Kakashi asked and forced the boy to look him straight into the eyes by holding the boy's face. "Did you have a nightmare again?"

Sasuke's cheeks flushed a little red, because he felt embarrassed. He hated it when his sensei looked through him. It was always like this - as if he could hide nothing from Kakashi and this scared him sometimes, because it reminded him so much of his mother or his brother. When he thought about his parents... his heart throbbed painfully. He closed his eyes and took another deep breathe.

"Sasuke." Kakashi interrupted his thoughts. "We'll sit here until you tell me what was bothering you. I think I know it already, but I want to hear it from you. And no matter what, you don't need to be ashamed of anything."

"It's easy for you to say..." Sasuke muttered and tried to get his face free from Kakashi's grip.

The silver haired jounin sighed. "Do you know something, Sasuke? I've been through the same thing like you. When I was your age, nightmares tormented me almost every night. The past was haunting me, even now I didn't get free completely from everything. Everyone has nightmares sometimes. But I know my nightmares and yours are worse because it was about our past. Am I wrong?"

The young Uchiha heir let his sensei's words sank in slowly. It was difficult to think that Kakashi, who always seemed to know everything and who seemed to be strong always, had nightmares too. But maybe that was the reason why his sensei could understand him so well. Sasuke avoided his sensei's eyes, but Kakashi still held his face in his hand. Kakashi's words made sense and Sasuke felt that he was understood and he didn't need to be ashamed of his own weakness.

"You're right, Kakashi. I... I've dreamt about..." Sasuke couldn't bring himself to speak out loud about his parents' death.

Kakashi let go of Sasuke face and put his hand on the boy's shoulder. He knew exactly how Sasuke felt and he knew that words alone couldn't help the young Uchiha.

"Do you know in time, it will be easier? It won't go away but the pain will be easier to handle. You already felt it, right?"

Sasuke nodded. "I know. When we were training or went on missions, I didn't need to think about my family every day. But then..." Sasuke stopped, unsure whether he should share his thoughts with Kakashi or not.

Kakashi squeezed his shoulder as a sign that he should continue. Sasuke took a deep breath before he continued. "When I came home in the evening, sometimes I feel so lonely... And then I think about them so much... I miss them and when I fell asleep... All that I dreamed off were..."

Sasuke closed his eyes; he couldn't bring himself to continue. This was fine. He didn't need to say another word; Kakashi already knew what Sasuke wanted to say. He knew by his own experience. The pain which you feel when you came home in the evening and nobody was there. Every evening is a reminder of what you have lost. A reminder that you're alone and your family is gone. Kakashi put his arm around Sasuke's shoulder and pulled him close.

"I know. You don't need to say another word." Kakashi said as he stroked through Sasuke's soft black hair. "I understand you perfectly."

"I've dreamt everything about... that night..." Sasuke swallowed hard. "And after I finally woke up... I only wanted to run away... So I went outside in an attempt to leave everything behind me..."

"Sshh." Kakashi hushed. "I know what you are talking about."

Sasuke leaned closer to Kakashi. It felt so good that someone was there for him and that he didn't have to be alone.

"I was worried when I found you outside in the rain." Kakashi said. "But I know your reason for this. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you today. I just came back from a mission today when I saw you."

"Sorry..." Sasuke whispered.

"You don't need to apologize for anything, Sasuke. I know how you feel. But let me tell you something, if you have a nightmare again, come to me or call me, I don't care what time it is. Please promise me that you will not to try to shoulder everything alone." Kakashi said.

Sasuke nodded. "It was just... so overwhelming today..."

"I know." Kakashi said. "Just promise me to come to me, when this happens again."

"I promise..."

"Very well… then I think it's time for you to go to bed again."

The little Uchiha looked up at his sensei. "I don't think I can sleep again today."

"But you have to try. Tomorrow is training again and you need rest, Sasuke." Kakashi said with a soft but firm tone. "Come, let's try it out. I'll stay with you tonight. I promise I won't leave you alone."

"But..."

Kakashi grabbed Sasuke and carried him over to his bed. Kakashi pulled the blanket away and placed Sasuke on the bed while he tucked the boy in. Kakashi himself sat down on the bed and patted Sasuke's head. "Try to sleep, Sasuke. I'll stay here."

"When... when I dream bad dreams again... will you wake me up?" Sasuke asked.

"Of course I will." Kakashi replied. "Now close your eyes. Nothing will happen. I'm here."

Sasuke hesitated for a moment but he nodded and closed his eyes. He felt surprisingly secure. Kakashi was there and Sasuke felt that nothing could happen to him, as long as his sensei stayed by his side. So it didn't take him long for the boy to fall into in a deep sleep.

Kakashi observed his sleeping student. And even when the boy looked extremely cute when he was asleep, Kakashi felt extremely sorry for his student. Sasuke had gone through so much, too much to bear for a twelve year old child in fact. The poor boy needed someone who would watch out for him and care for him and Kakashi had no qualms to take that role. He loved Sasuke so much and he would help him to get better. He promised to himself that he would be there for Sasuke, no matter what.

Sasuke slept soundly that night till morning. He knew he was not alone this time.

Special Thanks to een nihc :) She is a amazing Beta.

And please let me know what you think and review!