Can love really conquer all?

Chapter 8

She was scrubbing the dishes when he came home. It was nine o'clock and she'd cleaned the house and vacuumed the floors. She'd made herself breakfast and then thrown it away and now she was scrubbing the dishes. Her apartment was most probably cleaner than it had been in years.

When she heard a key slide in the front door her body tensed and her actions simply quickened. She heard every one of his footsteps as if they echoed around the house until he was standing behind her,

"Kens?" his voice was quiet, unsure.

"Kens I'm sorry" he added and Kensi cursed herself as her eyes that were welling quickly overflowed and a tear dropped into the soapy water. She tightened her grip on the glass in her hand when he began to speak again,

"Kensi please...can we talk. I'm sorry ...Kens I'm so sorry...for everything for not telling you, for not coming home, for making you think –"

It was at that point that Callen's eyebrows shot up in shock when he heard the sound of glass shattering,

"DAMN IT!" they weren't really the two words he'd first wanted to hear from her but when she held up her hand out of the water a second later he understood. Thinking fast he grabbed a tea towel lying on the bench beside him and wrapped it around her hand that was covered in bright red blood. He held her smaller, bleeding hand in his larger one applying pressure and finally looked to her and met her eyes. Her eyes that were filled with so much hurt that he cringed because he knew that he was the reason it was there. It was Kensi who broke the silence after a long moment of silence,

"Are you staying?" Callen wasn't sure he'd ever heard Kensi's voice that small. He'd certainly never heard it so vulnerable before and the sound shook him to the core. But he answered her quickly wanting to make her understand, praying that she would understand how much he loved her,

"I'm staying Kens I told you...I'm not going anywhere Kens. I love you" she nodded but for the first time in almost their whole relationship she didn't say it back. She was scared. He knew that. She'd been abandoned and cheated on and betrayed too many times that closing off and drawing back was almost a reflex now. But it was one that he had started to change, that had slowly began to fade.

Kensi pulled her hand from his grip and sat down and the table holding it with her other one. When Callen sat across from her she stared towards the floor for several seconds,

"Why don't you tell me about her?" she asked quietly, unsure if it really was the best thing to ask, and finally looked up at him. Did she really want to hear? To be honest with herself yes she did. She wanted to know about the woman who captured G Callen's heart. She wanted to know about her and their life together. And more than all of that G needed it. He needed to talk about it as much as he didn't want to.

"Are you sure Kens?" he asked tentatively but she held his gaze and nodded. He offered her a small and cautious smile before letting his mind drift backwards. He'd rehearsed what he was going to say to her one hundred times and yet as he sat in front of the deflated Kensi he couldn't remember the words he'd practiced,

"We met six years ago in the FBI. I...we were partnered together and we got close quickly. I don't know... she was the first woman that I ever...really felt something for" he shrugged unsure of his wording but Kensi nodded both understandingly and encouragingly,

"How long were you guys together?" She asked softly, prompting him,

"Nearly two years...we got married..on the beach, she was beautiful" Kensi felt the bile rise up into her throat as she listened to Callen speak about her, about Lisa. About their wedding, on the beach, and she could see him, waiting at the end of an aisle for his soon to be wife a large smile on his face. Callen's voice suddenly drew her out of her thoughts and she shook her head trying to clear her mind,

"We got a house, we had great jobs, friends, lives we had it all and then...then we got that case" Callen stopped abruptly and Kensi watched him carefully. She watched the torment in his haunted eyes and she frowned wishing she could do something, say something to make it better for him. To make him feel better.

"What happened G" the junior agent almost breathed out and finally he answered her,

"It was supposed to be a simple case, easy, straight-forward, procedural. Drug bust, street gangs you know, exchange like I said. But it all went wrong somewhere...they knew we were coming. I was a couple of blocks away when it actually happened...I...there were more than there should have been, they were armed, illegal weapons and they..." he stopped again shaking his head,

"It was a bloodbath. We lost a heap of agents, all the ones who couldn't get out in time. Backup didn't get there fast enough...I..." Kensi frowned knowing exactly what was going on his head. She stood and walked around the other side of the table before taking the seat beside him.

"G" he looked down at her meeting her eyes when she said his name,

"G, this was not your fault. It was not your fault" she said slowly but she didn't see the guilt fade in his eyes and she wondered if there would ever be a time when he'd believe her. Wondered that if she said it enough, if she repeated those five words over and over that he'd ever believer her,

"It wasn't your fault G" she whispered again and she peered into his eyes. The broken, vulnerable look that she caught shook her and she instinctively leaned closer until she could wrap her arms around him.

"It wasn't your fault G" she repeated and she felt him finally give in. His hands fisted the cotton of her shirt and he clung onto her drawing strength from her.

And for what Kensi was sure was probably one of the first times in...a very long time, if not ever Callen cried for her. For the woman that he loved and the woman that he lost.

Chapter eight for you guys thank you so much for your patience

Thanks

Nina xx

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