Eight
Sam
Quorra ended up going to Caltech after applying to five academically competitive schools and getting into all of them. I think she ended up going there mainly because we all pushed her to go there so one night, I talked to her about it.
She was out on the terrace, leaning against the stone railing with her arms resting on the cooling stone. After a while, I came out to join her, moving so I was standing right next to her in almost the same position. Our shoulders and hips bumped into one another every few seconds as we moved.
"It's up to you, you know?" I asked as I nudged her gently. "Not Alan, not Lora or myself. It's all you this time," I reminded her.
She pursed her lips and tilted her head so she was looking at me from an angle. "I know," she said simply.
I made a face at her, not getting a read on how she was feeling on the topic. "And?"
"I want to go to Caltech."
She smiled at me after she said that and I could see how her transformed because of it. "Are you sure? You can go anywhere," I told her.
She bit her lip and turned so she was facing me completely this time. "Wouldn't you miss me though three thousand miles away?"
One of her five schools had been Harvard. They had even paid for two flights for us to come tour the school in early June. She declined the offer though, simply saying that she wasn't interested in going there anymore.
"Of course I would," I said easily because I really couldn't imagine not having her around for months on end until she got her degree. "A lot, you know that," I started. "I mean, who else is going o continue building a library out of the spare room or angrily talk about our neighbors when they throw parties every other Saturday and park in our section?" I asked teasingly.
She rolled her eyes at me. "Oh, shut up. And they don't even ask," she added. "And you liked the library idea."
"I know, I'm kidding," I said as I squeezed her right shoulder. "I'd miss you but…I'd never be too far out of reach," I told her and she knew that much.
"Then why would I go?" she asked as she locked her wide blue eyes on mine. She looked confused as she stared at me as if doing that was insane. Maybe it was.
I sighed aloud. "Don't you understand, Q? This isn't about me, it's about you, about what you want," I said as I wrapped my hand around her wrist.
She gave me a look that suggested that we weren't on the same page and she made that angry pout that she'd always make when she was frustrated with me. "And don't you understand? I don't want to go anywhere. I want to stay here," she murmured as she turned away, looking out across the city. "With you," she added as she grasped my wrist back.
I chewed on my lip, feeling my heart beating inside my chest and hearing it pounding in my ears. She probably could too.
Her head tilted to the side again and she rose a curious eyebrow at me but I could see the smile playing at her lips.
"You can go anywhere," I started as I took a staggering breath, letting the thoughts that had manifested in my mind months ago become known. "Be anything that you want."
My hand tightened around her as if she was about to disappear, take my advice and vanish all of a sudden.
She stopped leaning against the stone and moved closer to me so our faces were about five inches apart. Her grip on my wrist tightened in response. "It would never be anything I wanted if you weren't there to share it with me," she said in that simple tone that she had used earlier. "You have ENCOM and I have you so we stay here," she said as if she was reciting a math formula.
Immediately my head began to hurt and my stomach started to turn, threatening to dump out the Italian dinner that I had scarfed down about two hours ago.
Not because it reminded me of math or the time when my tutor had gone through a weird phase of teaching me science like one would teach math, but because she had already made up her mind and it seemed as though she had made it up a long time ago.
"I don't want you to stay for me," I said in a somewhat harsh tone, taking a step back. She took the step with me so no space was lost between us.
"I'm not."
She leaned forward then and before I could react, pressed her lips against my own softly. Her lips were slightly parted and the kiss itself was off target so she caught a portion of my bottom lip in hers.
I could've kicked myself right then and there for not kissing her back. I stood there, frozen like a statue, missing out on probably the largest opportunity of a lifetime.
Just as her lips met my own, they were gone. "It isn't for you," she said, her voice a little breathless but she smiled at me anyway and began to pull away in the direction of the glass door.
The tug reminded me that I was still grasping her wrist and when I looked down at our hands, at her and back again, I had instantly made up my mind as if it were the easiest thing in the world.
"Wait," I said as I resisted against her pulling away. My voice sounded weak, like someone had just punched me in the stomach.
There were about a million things I wanted to say to her as she turned back to look at me, holding my gaze without a single ounce of anxiety or doubt in her eyes.
She knew what she had done and what it meant. She knew what she wanted.
But instead of saying anything to her, I settled on pulling her towards me and wrapping one arm around her waist and letting my other hand lift her chin up. I placed a gentle kiss on her lips and felt for the first time in my life, what it must feel like to actually feel something real for someone.
Something so real that it made my heart race and blood go cold at the same time. Something so real that I couldn't believe that I had waited almost nine months to discover this particular opportunity.
In and of itself, the kiss was simple but it didn't lessen the effect it had on me. I could feel a fire that meant something much more than lust and want.
I felt more at home than ever before and I could've stood there all night like this but after about five seconds, I found myself pulling back.
Her eyes were wide, searching, her facial expression an exact replica of the one that she had held as she leaned against the lamp post minutes after we had jumped out of the Grid.
I could've kissed her again solely due to the face that she was giving me but I decided not to push my luck with her, not yet anyway.
"I don't want you to go anywhere," I told her honestly as I lifted my hand and carefully brushed my thumb over her cheek, feeling how soft her skin was. "But at the same time, I'm never going to hold you back from what you want. It's your life, remember?" I asked and then I grinned impishly at her because I didn't know what else to do and I was still on my own internal high.
She laughed and threw her arms around me instead of responding to me. I knew that she knew that though. There wasn't a moment since she'd been here where she wasn't living her life to the fullest even if the task was simple. She took everything in and was always more than eager to learn something new.
"So, what happens next?" she asked. Her breath brushed against my neck. She smelled like a mix between strawberries and vanilla.
I hummed and just held her close, something that wasn't necessarily a foreign gesture between the two of us. "Whatever you want to happen," I responded.
She was silent for a while and I wondered if she was thinking or just enjoying my warmth because I knew that was the only thing I was thinking about. That and the weight that had lifted off of my shoulders in the past ten minutes.
I'm not quite sure how long we stood outside on the terrace. I was too busy smelling her hair and rubbing my hand over her face and neck until she told me to stop. Luckily, she didn't.
Finally, after the wind had picked up a bit and Quorra found herself trying to burrow closer to me, she lifted her head. "Can we watch a movie?"
I wasn't expecting that type of response at all but this was Quorra we were talking about and she always had her own unique way of doing things.
"Sure."
"With popcorn?" she pressed and all I could do was laugh because of how simple she was and how she was happy and how I knew that she wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon.
