Chapter 8 - FYI
When this to-ing and fro-ing finished, Sookie tried with all her might to send a telepathic message to the car's driver, Leonard.
Leave... Get Away...
She didn't think it would work, but she had to try. She didn't know what Callisto would do if she just hollered, 'Git'. The maenad was as unpredictable as the weather - just when you thought you knew what to expect, it rained frogs, or maybe snakes!
Sookie heard the driver, Leonard, say, "Actually, Sheldon, hold up there for a moment. I've just noticed the garden seems a bit crowded already. Perhaps, we should come back tomorrow."
"Don't be silly, Leonard, we're travelling to my mother's in Texas tomorrow."
"But Sheldon, look! I think this might be an inconvenient time. There's five people out there already, and two of them are totally naked and one is nearly naked with what looks like strips of dead animal hanging off her. And she's got a big stick in her hand…"
"Oh, that! Fyi, that stick is known as a thyrsus. According to Dionysian myth, it can send madness into its victims in any number of excruciatingly, painful ways. And those dead animal strips are actually fawn skins, as worn by a maenad, one of the God Dionysus's followers … though that maenad's skins do seem to be from a particularly small fawn." Sookie saw Sheldon lean forward to peer out through the windscreen for a better view. "I expect the naked man and woman represent a more modern mythology. They would be the monotheistic creations to be found in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve. Though, what they've done with their fig leaves is anyone's guess. Perhaps the maenad could help them out. The pagan cult of Dionysus was closely associated with woods and trees, specifically the fig tree."
"Sheldon, that's all very interesting, but-" Leonard's snark was cut off mid-sentence by an enthusiastic Sheldon.
"You see, I am not unobservant. I had noted the assemblage before us. I'm certain those good folk have taken part in some type of mythological exhibit, a tableau if you like, to enhance the visitors' experience of this garden. We must have missed the tableau, because our visit was cut short!"
"You may be right, but I have a feeling that something is wrong here. We should leave."
Sheldon pursed his lips and shook his head. 'I am a smart man. Don't you think I'd know if I were wrong?"
"I didn't say you were wrong, Sheldon, just that something feels wrong. Maybe, it's because your mythical maenad - who's, sort of, creeping towards us - is scary and wild-looking enough to be real. And Adam and Eve don't look much better."
"Well, it is a little late, I guess. It's been a long day and none of us are at our best. I'd better get on with the sampling."
"Amen," said a few of the car's occupants.
Sookie heard Sheldon wonder, "Do you think Miss Stackhouse is the one wearing the skins, the clothes or her birthday suit? I hope she's the one in clothes or I simply won't know where to look. I'm way out of my comfort zone here."
"Just look whoever it is in the eye, Sheldon."
"Ah, no!" Sheldon disagreed and twisted around to address the car's occupants. "Fyi, all my friends, you must never look a maenad in the eye. Eyes are windows to the soul, and maenads just love souls to death. A maenad can send her power of madness into you, eyeball to eyeball so to speak, and it will kill you, even though you'll probably die happy being driven crazy in a frenzy of ecstasy and passion. As the maenad wrenches out your soul, your body will be split and your blood will be spilled to seep into the Earth as tribute to the souls who have passed. And, of course, the maenad will have your soul for her God, Dionysus, who is the keeper of souls. Now, isn't that an interesting pagan myth?"
Within the explanation, Sookie heard the sound advice about keeping your eyes off a maenad's and she hoped the visitors would use it … if they didn't leave, and if worst came to the worst.
And it looked to Sookie like it just did get worse. Callisto stopped simply edging towards the car, and began gliding forward with a purpose, and a toss of her head. The snakes took the hint, corkscrewing their way down and around the maenad's body to slip into the thick carpet of grass. The serpents slithered into a position to bring up the rear of what turned out to be a procession. Sam followed the maenad and then Sookie followed him. She felt compelled to. She wasn't sure if the compulsion was Callisto's, or if she just felt the need to do the good ol' Southern meet and greet. She really didn't want anything bad to happen to the visitors, to anyone, either. Too much blood had been spilled on her soil, as it was. At the rear, Karin and Bill let themselves be herded forward by Callisto's pets.
"Sheldon, no more lectures," Sookie heard someone whine from inside the car, but this Sheldon was quite the know-it-all and he was on a roll.
He continued, while the maenad and her 'followers' approached. "Actually, some believe the Dionysian myth was the precursor to Christianity. Both Dionysus and Christ died and returned from the dead. Both used wine and bread in their ceremonies, and in the story of the marriage at Cana where Jesus turns water into wine, some believe it was meant to show that Jesus was superior to Dionysus. All good fiction in the making."
The driver replied, "Thanks so much for the mythology and religious Lesson of the Day. Oh no! Make that the Night! Fyi, Sheldon, that's sarcasm. Look, can you just get going, if you're doing this sampling? Because you know we all want to leave."
"Well, fine, I can take a hint, but you-" Groans from all the other occupants of the car could be heard loud and long into the night, and cut off Sheldon's addendum. "Alright, I'm going."
"Now!" said all the groaners.
"Now!" Sheldon huffed, and he exited the car, at the same time as the maenad with her procession arrived at his open passenger door.
Leonard said, "Sheldon, look that maenad in the mouth, just in case!"
And that's what he did.
Disclaimer: All characters from the SVM universe are owned and created by Charlaine Harris. She is not responsible for the actions of her characters in this story. Thank you too, to the creators of the wonderful Big Bang characters.
