Chapter 8 – Confidence

Greer

'She's going to live in Boston.' I could not stop that thought running over and over again in my head. I put the best fake smile on I could, but honestly, I was freaking out on the inside. 'Brenna Carver is going to live in Boston. She's going to be in Boston. Holy Crap! Brenna Carver is going to live in Boston. She will be in my city. In. My. City!'

Brenna

'She lives in Boston.' I could not stop that thought running over and over again in my head.

"Well that is great! Brenna, you will already have a friend in Boston when we return home." Mrs. C said.

"Yeah! Great!" I did my best to show enthusiasm. I could see Greer doing her best to hold a smile on her face, but it wasn't her usual full smile and her eyes were giving her away. They were darting back and forth and I knew something was up. "It will be great to have a friend in the city."

I gave her hand a squeeze. She locked her eyes with mine. It was weird, but the moment she looked into my eyes, I could actually see her eyes relax. It was almost as if those beautiful blues took a deep breath in and that was all she needed to calm herself. She smiled. Like really smiled.

I leaned in and whispered in her ear. "You alright?"

She leaned into me and said, "I am now. Thank you."

We kept the rest of dinner pretty light in conversation. I think April and Beth both saw Greer's reaction. Mom was oblivious and Grams may not have seen it, but she picked up on the non-Boston talk and did her best to intervene each time Mom tried to talk about it.

The rest of dinner seemed to go by fast or rather maybe I just don't remember it so well because I was too focused on Greer. We finished up and we were walking out when Greer pulled me aside.

"I think I'm going to, uh, take a walk back, on the beach, um, by myself. Okay?" Greer said. She was nervous, but I could see she really just needed some space. I wasn't entirely sure what it was that shook her so much. I mean it's not like I jumped up on the table and professed my undying love for her. I was a little surprised by her request, but I could see it was best if I let her have some time.

"Sure." I said. I squeezed her hand for reassurance.

She took about two steps away and turned back around. She stepped back toward me and kissed my lips. She brought her hand up to my cheek and her other hand on my hip. I placed my hands on her waist. The kiss felt different. It wasn't like the ones we have had. It was more like a reassuring kiss. She didn't press any harder than just enough to gently feel her lips. She pulled back just slightly and then leaned back in and peppered three short pecks to my lips.

"I'll come over in a little bit." Greer said, then she turned and walked out toward the beach.

I couldn't help but feel crushed. I am not sure why though. Finding out Greer lives in Boston made my heart skip a beat. Was it because I was happy about the news? Or was it because now I have 10,000 more questions about what is happening between her and I? Honestly, I had made peace with the fact I thought this was only a vacation thing. Now that it may actually turn into something more, do I want that? Am I ready for that? What about Kieran? What do I do about him? I love him. I can't just throw that away. And I know I can't keep both of them. It's not fair to either of them. But what if they both knew about each other? I mean Greer knows about Kieran already. I could tell Kieran about Greer and maybe things would be okay. Oh God, there is no way he would go for that.

"Ugh! I'm screwed!" I said to myself.

I caught up with April, Beth, Mom and Grams.

"Where's Greer?" Mom asked.

"Um, she had to call her parents and check in with them." I lied.

"Okay, well, when she is finished checking in, if you girls want, we can have a game night out on the patio." Mom said.

"Sure, I'll check in with her when she's done." I said.

April and Beth both shot me looks that said 'if you need saving, just say the word'. I smiled a weak smile at them both.

We got back to our room and Mom and Grams said they would be back shortly with a couple of board games.

"Are you okay? What's going on?" Beth asked.

"I'm okay," I said.

"Where is Greer?" April asked.

"She said she wanted to walk back by herself." I said. I was afraid to make eye contact with either of them. It was weird, but in that moment, all I felt like doing was crying and I knew that if I looked up at either of them the tears would just start to fall.

"Bren! Look at me!" April said.

I hesitated, but then lifted my head and made eye contact with her. I knew she could see my struggle.

"You really like her, don't you?" April asked.

"I do." The tears started to fall. "I know this is stupid to cry over someone who I literally just met, but I don't know how to describe the way she makes me feel. I've never felt it before. Not even with Kieran. And I know that I shouldn't have this reaction because I don't know what is going on with her. Who knows? Maybe dinner with my family was just a little overwhelming for her and it had nothing to do with her finding out that we now live in the same city. Maybe there is something else going on with her that has absolutely nothing to do with me. All I know is that when she asked to walk back by herself, my heart sank."

"Shh, shh, shh. It's okay. This whole situation is a bunch of 'I don't know's' right now so it makes total sense to feel overwhelmed." Beth said as she leaned in to hug me.

"I just feel… stuck. Stuck in the unknown." I said.

"Do you know if you will see her again tonight?" April asked.

"She said she would come over in a little bit." I said. My tears began to dry up and I was able calm down.

"Can I ask you something?" Beth asked.

"Sure." I said knowing that she was curious about something.

"Would you date her?" Beth asked. "I mean, you have Kieran, but he is still in NYC. Are you two even staying together?"

"I was just asking myself the same question. Um, I love Kieran, but I have thought about the distance. I mean I am still in High School so it's not like I can see him that often. But right now, I just can't see ending it just because of the distance. And as for dating Greer, if I weren't with Kieran, I would not even hesitate to say yes." I said.

"Knock, knock?" Greer said.

"Hey!" I turned to see her at our open sliding glass door.

"Can we talk?" Greer asked.

"Um yeah." I looked at April and Beth. I got up from the bed and walked over toward the door. "Tell Mom and Grams we will be back in a bit.

Greer

'I need space.' That is all that kept running through my head. I didn't want to run out on her, but I just needed to process all this.

I know this sounds crazy, but finding out she lives in Boston changes everything for me. See ya later Hailey! This girl is perfect! Well, minus the fact that she has a boyfriend. But knowing that Hawaii is not end game for us, I really want to slow things down and get to know her even more. Not that we were taking things too fast. If she only knew how fast a few of my previous GF's and I ended up in bed together, she probably would dump me. Well, if we were actually dating I mean she would dump me. Let's just say at one point my standards were a little less then respectable.

I could see in her eyes that she had been crying. I know it was because of my reaction at dinner. I didn't mean for that to happen. It was just a lot to find out all at once. I needed that space just to make sure I had my thoughts right. Sometimes I get ahead of myself and I end up in situations that aren't the best for me. I've learned to take a moment, by myself, to think things through. That walk back on the beach was perfect. But I realized the only thing that would have been better was having Brenna walking with me.

"I'm sorry I just left you." I said after Brenna and I walked out to the beach and found a few hotel beach chairs to sit on.

"You don't have to apologize. It kind of came as a shock to me too." Brenna said.

"It was definitely a shock. But not in the way that my actions may have led you to believe." I said.

"What do you mean?" Brenna asked.

"Brenna, I am happy you will be living in Boston. Like beyond happy. But the reason I needed some space was more so because I felt so happy. I just need to calm myself down and really think about how to go about this the right way. I have a girlfriend back home. Or at least I think I still do. And you have a boyfriend. But the feelings that I have felt for you over the course of this one day is scaring me just a little bit. I have felt more feelings with you then any and all my ex-girlfriends combined. And we just met." I said.

"I know what you mean." She smiled at me. "I love Kieran and truthfully I didn't want to break up with him just because we were living in different cities. I still don't know what to do with our relationship. But I know that after today, you showed me what I was missing in a relationship when I am with him. I don't know what it is or how to describe it, but it has just felt right with you. And yes, that scares me a little bit too. And now, finding out that this could actually be something more than just a vacation fling, well, I can't help but feel hopeful that it is something more. I just really, really don't know what to do about Kieran. I care about him, too." I could tell her brain was going a mile a minute and she was beginning to ramble.

I leaned over and captured her lips with mine. I can't say if it was for her sake or mine, but I could feel her relax into the kiss and I knew that maybe, just maybe, it was exactly what she needed at that moment.

"Hey! So, I know this isn't the perfect answer to this dilemma we seem to be in, but what if we just take the rest of this vacation to get to know each other better. And have fun, like we agreed to do earlier. You go back to Boston 2 days before I do. So that will give you a little bit of time on your own without me to maybe figure some stuff out for yourself. I can do the same here. And then, when I return, we can meet up and talk about it all. How does that sound?" I said.

"I think that is probably the best answer to this situation right now. But how do you mean 'get to know each other?' Like as friends?" Brenna asked.

"Well, if you want to do it that way, I can understand that. But I will be completely honest with you. It takes every ounce of strength I have not to touch you and want to kiss you every time you are near. I am only holding back half the time because I am sure your Mother and Grandmother don't want to see us making out. And add to that April and Beth!" I said with a smile.

"So what you are saying is you want me?" Brenna said with a devilish smile.

"Did I say that?" I said with a wink.

"I'm pretty sure that is exactly what you said." Brenna said as she got up from her chair and straddled my legs sitting in my lap. She pushed me back against the chair and leaned in for a long sweet kiss.

We sat there for a little while longer enjoying our little make out session. Eventually, Brenna stopped and said we should probably head back to her room because everyone was waiting for us to start game night. I smiled. I never really had this kind of family interaction before. I liked it. Something I could get use to, for sure.

We got up and walked back hand in hand.

"There you are you two! I thought for sure you ditched us for game night." Mrs. C said as Brenna and I walked up to the patio.

"Nope, Mrs. C. We wouldn't miss this for the world. Bren and I just need a few moments together, that's all. Sorry to keep you waiting." I said.

"Oh don't worry Dear. The only thing you kept waiting is the inevitable doom all of you will face once we get this game started." Emma said with a straight face.

"HA! You always lose at these games Grams." April laughed. Beth joined her.

"I let you all win. There's a difference." Emma said.

"Well let the games begin!" April said.

Brenna and I took our spots at the table. The game was called Smart Ass. I had never even heard of it, but it seemed simple enough. You hear clues from a card and once you think you know what, or who, or where you shout it out.

As we tucked away into the game, it was pretty clear April was very good at this. Brenna was giving her a run for her money, and I was right behind the both of them. Emma was horrible at this game as was Beth, but I will say they have had some of the best shouted out answers by far. On more than one occasion we had to stop the game because nobody could stop their fits of laughter. It felt good to laugh. It felt good to be apart of this group. We were clearly starting to hit the end of the game. I had surpassed Brenna and was just behind April. It was close.

The next set of clues were from a "Who?" card.

"She attended Brown University." Emma said.

"She is a brunette who somewhat recently had chopped off all her hair after having been in a series of movies by the same name as the main character." Emma said.

"Her character had two best friends, one with glasses, and the other a re-" Emma said.

"Emma Watson!" I screamed out!

"Correct!" Emma yelled.

"Shit!" April cursed.

"Alright, tied up. Next one from either of you wins it!" Emma said.

"How does it feel to be on the verge of losing?" Brenna asked April.

"I wouldn't know. Ask your girlfriend." April said with a sly smile.

"Oooo! Good one Ape." Beth high fived April.

"Bring it!" I said.

"It's already been brought!" Beth chimed in.

All of us couldn't help but laugh.

Mrs. C pulled a "Where?" card.

April and I were both leaning in. Even though everyone else was still in the game, we both clearly have a competitive streak that doesn't allow us to sit back and play for fun.

"This State is the second widest state in the United States." Mrs. C said.

"Alaska! Texas!" April shouted out. Mrs. C smiled and shook her head no.

"This state is the only state to grow coffee, cocoa, and vanilla beans." Mrs. C said.

"South Carolina!" April shouted. Again, Mrs. C shook her head no.

Brenna looked at me and squeezed my hand. That last fact sounded familiar.

"This State is the only US State that has white people as a minority." Mrs. C said.

Both April and I frowned.

"It's not Alaska?" April asked.

"Nope." Mrs. C said with a smile.

"It is the only US State with a tropical rainforest." Mrs. C said.

"HAWAII!" I yelled out.

"YES!" Mrs. C shouted.

"We have a new family game night winner!" Emma proudly stated.

Brenna jumped up and hugged me. High fives were passed around between Mrs. C, Emma and me. April got up and shook my hand.

"Well played. Rematch. Tomorrow night! Be here!" April said with her best serious face, but she couldn't hide her smile.

"I will be here!" I said.

Beth gave me a congratulatory hug and squealed in my ear.

"I never thought I would see the day that someone would knock Miss Cutthroat off her thrown. Well done!" Beth said.

I couldn't help the smile on my face. I looked over to Brenna. She seemed to be sharing in the same joy that everyone else has for me in this moment.

She leaned in, kissed me, then whispered, "You were amazing!"

"Confidence is easy when I have you sitting next to me." I said.

"Alright girls! That was about as much fun as I can take for one night. Mom, you coming back to the room?" Mrs. C said as she finished cleaning up the game.

"Right behind ya, kiddo." Emma said. "Goodnight girls." She hugged us all and started walking off in the direction of her room.

"Goodnight! Love you! Goodnight! Love you! Goodnight! Love you! Goodnight! Love you!" Mrs. C said as she walked by each of us. She placed a kiss on our foreheads and squeezed our shoulders to show her love. It was a little unexpected for her to give me that same goodnight gesture, but I was glad she did. It made me feel special. Like I was apart of this family.

"Ladies, I'm not sure what you have planned, but it's night-night time this Aussie!" Beth said.

"I'm joining you!" April said.

"Night girls!" April and Beth said at the same time.

"Goodnight!" I replied.

"Night!" Brenna said.

"So… what do you want to do now?" I asked.

"I can think of a few things!" Brenna said.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" I asked.

"You, me, and your bed for starters!" Brenna said with a wink.

Thank you! Thank you! for the reviews and encouragement for this fic! I am doing my best to keep it going.

Enjoy!