So I know people are pissed at me haha, but you will have to stay pissed for awhile. Callie and Arizona will be happy for once. Emily and Maya... They have some issues to work out. The update is quick I know! But I may have to make you guys wait for the next chapter, just for some suffering ;)
It was hard for both Arizona and Callie to work without Emily and Maya by their side. The two had asked if they could have a week or two off to grieve, which was instantly granted for both. Arizona nearly wanted to ask for time off herself. She couldn't get the image of the helpless, nameless child out of her mind.
She could barely even do her job. She stumbled walking through halls she knew like her own home, and she hesitated when giving orders in operating rooms. Finally, Alex decided to question his friend.
"Hey AZ, can we talk?" the taller man asked as he walked up to her. "Uh, yeah, yeah sure," even giving her response the blonde did not answer right away or in her normally direct and focused voice. The two walked into a call room and Alex shut the door.
"Is everything alright out there? You're out there looking like an intern on his first day," he started. At that moment Arizona couldn't hold it back anymore. She broke down in tears and sunk to her knees. "Alex... I killed him... I... I killed him..." she whispered. "What? Killed who?" he sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
"Emily and Maya's baby... He's dead... And it's... It's my-" she started but Alex cut her off. "Don't you dare talk like that AZ, not for a second. This is NOT your fault. Do you hear me? You are not going to blame yourself for any of this. I saw that baby too. He was dead when we had him delivered. There was nothing you could have done. If there was, you would have done it," he spoke in a firm voice.
"I know... But they... They're in so much pain... And that pain doesn't go away Alex when you lose a baby it never stops hurting... And that is probably why Callie and I... Why we didn't work out," Arizona couldn't bring herself to say the word divorced. "Listen Robbins. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. But number one, Emily and Maya have a connection like I've never seen before. If anyone can survive this, they can. Number two, you gotta stop blaming yourself. You'll never be able to move on that way. Not just from this, but from your own baby too. You didn't kill your baby. No one killed it. And number three-" before Alex could finish his pager went off.
"Go ahead, I'll be ok," the blonde surgeon promised. He hesitantly stood then helped her to her feet. "Are you sure?" he asked, hearing his pager go off again. She nodded. "Go save some lives. I've got my own work do to." At that, Alex smiled at his friend and took off down the hall, leaving Arizona to ponder the conversation they just had.
Emily sighed as she woke up from another uncomfortable night on the couch. It was only three days into their time off for grievance, and she and Maya had already been in three heated arguments, none of which they had yet resolved. She couldn't even remember what they were about, just stupid little things that pissed one or the other off.
Maya hadn't forced her to sleep on the couch, but they both agreed that they weren't in the mood to sleep beside each other. So besides the yelling and the arguments, the two had barely spoken. After waking up a bit, Emily decided to go and check on her fiancé. She stood up and stretched a bit, then slowly walked into their bedroom.
Maya was laying on her bed, her eyes fixed upon the ceiling and her arms behind her head. "H...hey," Emily's voice shook as she attempted to speak to the shorter woman. "Hey," was the only response Maya gave, her eyes never moving and her expression never changing.
"Do you... Need anything?" the athlete continued. It was hard for her to speak to Maya, which hurt. It had never been awkward between the two of them. They could always read each other like books, but now it was like they were trying to speak to each other in a different language.
"Nope," again Maya responded with a single word. Seeing that she was not in the mood to talk, Emily decided she should just leave her alone. "Ok... If you do... Let me know," her voice was quiet and laced with hurt. She closed the door and walked back to the couch holding back tears, not knowing that as soon as she closed the bedroom door, Maya's tears had already started.
The span of two weeks passed at different rates. For Callie and Arizona, two weeks without their best workers and their friend's stretched out for ages. But for Emily and Maya, two weeks passed as if they had barely had time to blink. They walked into the hospital quietly that Monday morning, an expression on their faces they rarely wore. They did not hold hands as the they used to. They did not have a smile on their faces. They did not have the upbeat, excited, chipper attitude that the rest of the hospital staff was used to.
They were greeted back with smiling faces and open arms, but they did not return the welcome. Emily spent most of her time in the operating room, for she no longer found joy in helping Arizona have fun with the children. Maya did not joke around with Callie anymore. The loss of their child was draining them, and it was killing the people who had to watch it happen. Especially Callie and Arizona.
This continued for several days until finally Maya couldn't take it anymore. It was around midday and she saw Emily walking through the cafeteria. She walked up to her and grabbed her wrist to stop her. "Can we talk?" she asked. Not knowing where this was going, Emily hesitantly nodded. The two sat sat down at a table.
"I... I hate this... This constant lack of communication and this feeling that I have around you," she started. "Well you haven't exactly been open to communication lately," Emily's tone was colder than she had intended. "I know that, but this isn't easy for me Em, I'm really struggling here," Maya continued.
"You think this is easy for me?" by now Emily's voice was louder and a few people were staring. "This has been killing me! I go to bed at night and the last thing I see is that helpless baby, and I wake up in the morning crying because it's all I dream about! It's not easy for me either Maya, I lost him too!" now she was yelling, and everyone in the room was quiet, all eyes fixated on them, including Callie's and Arizona's. Maya stood up and turned to walk away. "Oh that's really going to help, just ignore all your problems. You know this is why this isn't working! You just run from everything that's hard!" Emily's words snagged Maya's attention and she spun back around.
"Oh I run from my problems? I'm sorry that I'm not exactly friendly and happy two weeks after our child died Emily!" she shot back. Now the two were in a heated argument, and no one in the room was sure what to do. Callie looked at Arizona a few seats down, and the two locked eye contact for a few moments before their attention was brought back to the argument.
"You don't know what it's like Emily! You don't know how it feels! You'll never know how it feels! You don't know what it's like to have a part of you gone forever!" as she spoke the words, Maya instantly regretted them. "What, you mean like my leg? My leg that you CUT OFF?" the words were so familiar to Callie and Arizona that tears formed in both their eyes.
"You let them take my leg Maya! You let them cut my leg off!" Emily was now in tears. "You act like you're the only one who lost something! You weren't you for so long after that, I didn't think I would ever get you back," Maya was also now crying.
"You didn't lose your leg Maya! You didn't have to sit there for months wondering if you were still good enough! You've never had to look in the mirror and think about being good enough! You didn't lose anything!" the words hit Callie and Arizona like a train. The cafeteria was silent, so much so that you could hear the startled breathing of people all around. Maya wanted to say something, but she couldn't find the words. She didn't know what to say. So she simply looked down at her hand, pulled off her engagement ring, and threw in on the ground. Both women turned and walked off in different directions, leaving the rest of the people in the room sitting in shock at what they had just witnessed.
Arizona was scarcely sure that she saw her, but when she backed up, she was sure that she could see Maya laying on a bed in the dark call room. She knocked slightly and opened the door. "Mind if I come in?" she asked, stepping inside and closing the door. Maya's head turned and even through the darkness Arizona could tell she was crying.
The blonde woman sat down on the bed beside her and ran her hand across Maya's. "She hates me," the intern whispered. "No she doesn't. You guys just got heated and got into a bad argument. Trust me, Callie and I got into plenty of arguments," she recalled how many times she and the Latina woman had fought over the years. "No offense but that doesn't make me feel much better, considering you guys are divorced," Maya sniffled and wiped her eyes off.
"Well... That's true, but that doesn't mean that you guys are going to break up or anything," Arizona continued. "I told her she didn't lose anything... How could I say that to her? Of all the things in the world I could've said... I told her she's never lost anything..." Maya could her voice above a low whisper. "Hey, I know how Emily is feeling. I went through it before. And I promise you that you guys will be ok. You just need to talk things out," the older woman promised.
Maya shrugged and Arizona sighed, knowing that she wasn't going to be able to help anything at the moment. She gave Maya's hand a squeeze and walked out of the call room, throwing one last glance back at the intern before wiping away a tear of her own and leaving her to herself.
Arizona shuddered a bit as she walked through the cold air. She walked up to Callie's door, knocking after a moment. She couldn't wait to see Sofia. The stress of work had seriously been taking a toll on the blonde. After a few moments, Callie answered the door and smiled at her a little. "Sofia honey, mommies here!" the Latina woman called. "Do you wanna come in for a minute? It's kind of cold outside and I'm sure she's not ready yet," Callie laughed a bit. Arizona hesitated but eventually nodded and stepped inside.
"Do you want something to drink?" the Latina asked, closing the door and following the pediatric surgeon to the living room. "Um, water is fine," Arizona responded quickly. Callie walked out to the kitchen while Arizona looked around her old house, her eyes drifting until something caught her attention. "What's this?" she asked as Callie waked back in with a bottle of water.
In her hand she held a drawing she assumed Sofia had done. The drawing portrayed the little girl holding hands with Callie, and Callie holding hands with Arizona in front of their house, with a for sale sign in the front. Across the top of the paper were the words "My Favorite Memory." For only being 6, Sofia could draw decently well. Enough for the blonde woman to know what the drawing meant.
"Oh, Sofia drew that today at school," Callie explained slowly, handing the blonde the bottle. Arizona took it and set the drawing down on the table in its place. Before either could think of something to say, they heard footsteps. "Mommy!" Sofia giggled and ran over to Arizona who smiled instantly and hugged her daughter. "Hi baby! Are you ready to have some fun?" the blonde smiled, kissing the child's forehead. Callie smiled and Sofia ran out to the car to wait to leave. As Arizona turned to walk out the door the Latina's voice stopped her. "Wait, Arizona?"
She turned and looked back at Callie. "I um... I'm sorry about... You know, the picture... If it like hurt you or anything," she explained nervously, wringing her hands and not meeting eye contact. "It didn't hurt me," Arizona sighed and continued, "It's my favorite memory too."
It was about 9:30 at night when the knock came on the door. Arizona was on her couch watching tv. Sofia had gone to sleep so the blonde had ordered a pizza. "Finally," she mumbled to herself. She stood and walked to the door, but when she opened it she did not see the pizza delivery boy. Instead she saw the form of her ex wife.
"Callie? What are you-" Arizona didn't get a chance to finish. Instead, the Latina woman stepped forward and kissed her. The kiss was unexpected, but welcomed. Arizona kissed back, not sure why Callie was here or why she was kissing her and not caring about either. When the two women finally broke apart, their breathing was heavy and their faces were red.
"Arizona... It's my favorite memory too... Every memory I have with you, it's all my favorite. The good, the bad, the love, the hate, the screaming, the fighting, all of it means everything to me, because through every one of those memories I have you... And I don't want to lose you... I can't lose you... When Sofia showed me that drawing, it brought it all back and I realized that I can't do it Arizona I can't do it. I can't live my life without you-" this time Callie was the one who was cut off.
Callie didn't hesitate to kiss Arizona back. The blonde's arms snaked around her waist and at that moment neither of them cared what they were doing. The fights, the hate, the divorce, the pain, the agony, none of it was important. They were kissing. And although they were unaware, a small pair of happy eyes were watching them intently.
Hey guys! So I didn't resolve Emily and Maya's problem instantly because I feel like I always do that and it's not realistic, especially in this scenario. I mean, they lost a baby! So, Callie and Arizona will actually be getting so happy rainbow love, but Emily and Maya are kinda gonna go through hell... Read and review!
