Owen watched as Brooke stormed into the apartment, ranting about her day, putting her bag down and sit at the counter while he was cooking.
"I'll take a shot in the dark, you had a bad day?"
"I hate high school, I hate the old me."
"What happened?"
"Before I became this new robot, I promised I would go to the homecoming dance…with Tim."
"Smith?"
"One and only."
"Why?"
"Only thing I can thing of is because he doesn't care about who he has sex with, and neither did the old me."
"What did you tell him?"
"First I said no, but it was in front of everyone and he had this stupid video camera. I said I'd think about it. Until then, I'm trying to think of a great excuse not to go."
"Just go."
"Then that would sort of disrupt this boyfriend, girlfriend relationship that we have going here."
"And just because some random guy is your date to a dance, that isn't going to mess with it."
"You're serious? What happened to the scenario of you saying don't go because he's a jerk and he'll mistreat me."
"I'm not the one saying that, you are. But you promised him a date."
"But Tim is not a real person."
"And a second ago, you called yourself a robot."
"You actually want me to go."
Owen leaned down to kiss her, getting to her eye level. "Actually, no. I'd rather my girlfriend stay here and we do anything besides her going out on a date with a guy named Tim."
"Well she could stay for a little bit, wait for Tim to forget she exists and then come over to spend the night at her boyfriend's apartment."
"Now that date isn't sounding so bad."
"Let's say after a couple of hours, you text me, I fake a sick…dog, and leave."
"You know, have you told Tim you have a boyfriend?"
"No, I sort of haven't told anyone, well except Peyton."
"So you and Peyton are friends now?"
"I guess. We just started talking about stuff. I told her about the morning I woke up alone, which I forever tease you about. And her and Lucas were having some stuff."
"Tim might actually find someone else to go if he knows you have a boyfriend."
"I'll try but that boy; he deserves a collar, a leash, something."
Nathan knocked on Haley's bedroom door.
"I just got home, did you follow me?"
"Not in the sense of follow."
"What's up?" Nathan was silent, looking around, getting nervous. "Why are you finding everything to look at that isn't me?"
"Because this relationship…"
Haley interrupted him. "I can probably finish that sentence."
"Can you really? Because it's hard for me to say and I'm the one who's been practicing it all the way over here."
"Is this something about the dance? Nathan, I don't even wanna go, so, we can just stay here."
"Haley, I really, really want to get close to you. But it seems every time I do that, you have this reason to stop. Which is okay, but now all we talk about is my past or you being scared."
"So you're here to tell me we can't be together because I won't have sex with you. That's not fair, Nathan."
"It's not because of that, I can live with that. But we haven't been really close in a really long time. We barely talk anymore and if we do it's one-word sentences that don't make sense."
"I told you Nathan, it's really hard for me."
"I know, I've heard it before. Right now it feels like we're going to be stuck in this weird place forever. I can't be that guy, Haley."
"So because of us not being able to talk about anything real, you don't want to be with me."
"I want to be with you, I want to be able to talk to you about stuff going on, but there is this awkward feeling that no matter what I say or what you say, it's going to be somehow interpreted into something else."
"So this is where we are. I've never had this happen, so what happens now. Do we completely avoid each other or just, like we are now, one-word awkward sentences until we can just avoid each other all together."
"I don't know. I don't know how to act around you, Haley."
"Makes two of us. I don't know how to act around me either. I don't have sisters or anybody to talk to about it. Peyton's with Lucas, they have their stuff. Brooke is in robot land. When we started hanging out, it felt good. Someone I could be with, talk to about really bad stuff. I know about the stuff you went through with your mom and I thought you would understand. I guess not." Nathan's cell phone went off. "Take that as your cue, I think we've said all we need to say."
Nathan walked up to Haley, she tried to back away, but let Nathan kiss her. He broke the kiss after what seemed forever, Haley was left stunned and more confused than before. After listening to his voicemail, Nathan's hands started to shake and he was breathing hard.
"Nathan? Who called?"
"Karen. She said my mom was taken to the hospital."
"What happened?"
Nathan swallowed hard. "She tried to kill herself."
"Hasn't your mom tried this before?" Nathan gave her a look. "Sorry, wrong question to ask. Are you going over there now, or…?"
"It's just hard to think. I pretty much live on my own now my mom is taking her pills again."
"Do you want me to drive you?"
"Could you just…come with me?"
"Yeah, of course." Haley gently took the keys out of Nathan's hand. "The hospital doesn't need anymore patients."
Haley parked the car and Nathan got out and rushed to the emergency. Slowly Haley tried to process the events of the evening and tried to figure out if she and Nathan were just friends or more than that.
Karen looked up to see Nathan rushing down the hallway.
"Is she…?"
"Deb is okay. She's in recovery. They did a stomach pump and got everything out. It wasn't that much."
"How close was she this time?"
"It was pretty close."
Nathan walked into the room and Deb's eyes were barely open. "Mom, you awake?"
"Hi Nathan…I'm so glad you came to visit me."
"Why did you take the pills?"
"I had a headache and took some medicine and then took too much, and…"
"Mom that was almost the same excuse you used last time. You're on the pills again, aren't you?"
"Nathan, I'm just taking a little bit now."
"But you're still taking them. You lied to me and to Karen, Keith, yourself."
"I'm sick, Nathan, and I need…"
"Mom, you're not sick. You have an addiction. You need to go to rehab."
Deb laughed lightly. "I don't need rehab, that's for…"
"For you, rehab is for drug abusers. You abuse the prescriptions."
"Did you come here to see if I was okay or to badger me?"
"Honestly, I came to see if you were still alive."
"That's nice to know."
"Mom, I'm the only one being honest here. Every time the phone rings late at night, I think that you're in some hospital overdosed from some prescription medicine. I don't know how much more of this I can take. My life is lived through hospital visits, taking care of you. I'm still in high school; you should be taking care of me. Making sure I'm going to school. Instead I have to make sure you aren't popping pills."
"I'll get help Nathan, when I need it."
"Mom, you're in a hospital after having your stomach pumped and getting the pills out of your body. How much more of a sign of help do you need?"
"I was in rehab; those people there are the ones who need it, not me. I'm completely sane."
"Then why do you need pills everyday to survive…or in this case, to almost kill yourself with?" Deb's heart monitor started to beep. "That's my cue. I don't know if I'll be back, so don't expect me to visit."
Nathan walked out of the hospital room; Karen was talking to Haley, who walked over when seeing Nathan.
"How did it go?"
"My
mom admitting she doesn't have a drug problem and doesn't need
rehab, but needs to pills to survive. Same story."
"Do you
want to stay; I could get some coffee from the cafeteria."
"No, I'll just be waiting to hear the same results I heard last time. She needs rehab and here's who I recommend. Every doctor in the state of North Carolina has tried to get my mom into rehab. It's no use. She refuses to go."
"What do you want to do?"
"Go anywhere but here."
In his pajamas, Lucas walked out to the balcony, sat on the railing beside her.
"I thought we were going to…"
"I started thinking about what it would be like. Us having a child, someone to take care of. And I was thinking about this girl that I saw on the news where she was so in love with her boyfriend until they got pregnant. Everything changed. I'm not saying it will with us. I just know that neither of us knows what the future holds. And I don't want to take a chance on something happening because we were too impatient for life to give us what we wanted."
"And I love you too much for something to happen to us."
"So, I was thinking. What about Lily staying with us. She's been asking me a few times to stay over. And I think this weekend might be a good chance."
"Yeah, she would like that."
"So we're okay, right?"
Lucas put his arm around her. "The other day I was with Keith and my mom and the drive home I kept thinking about when I knew I wanted to marry you. Ironically I think I was walking through the hallway and you were standing just talking to someone and you were so beautiful. It was raining and really a mess everywhere, but you had this light around you. And I knew that no matter in ten years or fifty years, you will always have that light around you. After that I just couldn't be at school. It felt too weird to be doing some meaningless assignment and then leaving school to plan how I was going to propose to you."
"I remember you left school early that day. And then I realize that Nathan is the worst liar on the planet. I asked him where you were since you weren't at practice and he kept stuttering his words and couldn't even look at me. I knew something was up. But I figured it was…well I never figured it was a proposal. I think, honestly, I had the worst day. The day you saw me with a light around me, I was trying to convince my English teacher for a retake on the exam I missed because I skipped school."
"Well, did it work?"
"Yeah, it did. And he noticed that a boy kept starring at me from afar and he asked, 'do you know this boy'. I saw you down the hallway, having that awkward smile, and said 'yeah…he's the one'. All I remember is waving to you and going to class. I'll never forget that moment, Luke. After that I couldn't concentrate. I just thought about you standing there, Nathan and his answers. And you fixed all of that…even before proposing to me."
"I was so nervous. I wanted to tell Haley to keep you busy for a few hours. But being so nervous I forgot to call her."
"I never knew that. Now it explains the frozen dinner on the counter. And the really weird look on your face when I came home and asked why all the lights were off."
"Nothing went according to plan. I wanted to get down on one knee, just like Keith did with my mom. I had this amazing proposal ready. I practiced it all the way home from getting the ring. It was perfect, I think I might've even…never mind."
"Aww, does Lucas Scott cry? But you saw me in the living room completely horrified that I was there. I asked you what was wrong. And I'll never forget you said 'I forgot to call Haley'."
"Then by some weird coincidence Haley called. I remember looking at you, knowing the whole proposal was blown. There was no way I would be able to give that speech when you showed up early. I remember telling Haley that you had just gotten home and I said 'I'm going to ask her to marry me'."
"I remember feeling so emotional. I started to cry, and I tried to stop because I wanted you to be able to do it right and I realized that it didn't matter. All that mattered was you asking me and I said yes."
"Haley told me that she could get you out of the house and I told her it didn't matter because she just said yes."
"That's why she was so weird when I told her the next day you and I had gotten engaged."
"Then she asked me what back alley did I get the ring from because it looked too nice to get it out of crackerjack box."
Peyton looked at him. "I probably shouldn't ask, but how did you get that ring? It must have cost a fortune."
"When I was about ten, my grandpa told me that a real woman should have a real ring. I was only ten but he told me with this seriousness as if I was older and was planning to get married. And he told me that when the day comes, to talk to him and he would give me grandma's ring to keep the ring in the family. But I remember telling him that I was going to get my wife my very own ring. He said 'okay, but it won't be the same." And when I met you, I started saving up money. I never told my mom, Keith, Haley, anybody what I was saving up for. Every allowance I got, every birthday present every Christmas present. I saved up; I knew I was going to buy you the best ring that money could buy." Lucas brushed a piece of hair out of Peyton's face. "And one time I wanted this really cool bike, it was like a thousand dollars. And Keith said the money I have saved up; if it's not enough then he would make up the difference. But I never touched that money. I knew that I wanted you more than I wanted a bike." Peyton wrapped her arm under Lucas and held his hand and wiped away the tears. "But Lily found it and took it to Keith. And Keith asked me what the money was for. It was all cash, like just thrown in there. And I told him I was saving it. And he grilled me for like an hour to find out what it was. And it ended with I was doing anything illegal, promised him that. I told him it would be a nice reward. So the day that I knew I was going to propose, I put all that money into the bank. You know buying a ring with a wad of cash, it doesn't look good. I went to buy the ring and everyone looked at me. They kept asking me, how old I was. I told them about you and a little bit about us. I got the ring, and well, you know the rest."
She kissed him on the cheek. "Why didn't you ever tell me that?"
"Every man has a secret."
Haley knocked on Brooke's bedroom door, then opened it a little. "Want some company?"
Brooke looked up from her reading. "Yeah, anytime. Come on in."
"The front door was open, hope it's okay with Victoria."
"Victoria is somewhere that I'm not, so yeah, it's perfectly okay."
"I know that I've been mean to you, and it's weird that you don't know what's been going on previous to almost a year ago. Oh, are you reading a book?"
"Yeah." Brooke held up the book. "It's for my English Lit class. Sort of extra credit I guess. Or the lack of not having a social life."
"Can we talk?"
"Of course, grab a bed."
Haley sat on the bed. "I know Peyton and Lucas have this perfect life and you probably have this life with Owen. It's just I don't really have anyone to talk to…"
"You can always come to me."
"Great because." Haley frowned to Brooke's cell phone ringing.
"It's the doctor, I can call them back."
"You're still going to a doctor?"
"Yeah, until my memory is fully back, she wants me to visit her on a monthly basis assuming I don't have permanent brain damage."
"Maybe remembering what happened in the past isn't so bad. Sometimes I'd like to take a few things back."
"Like what? You have Nathan, you shouldn't have regrets."
"All I've been doing is having regrets. It first started off as me not being able to have sex and now I can't even know what to say if I see him."
"Then why are you with him? I mean if you feel so uncomfortable then why stay?"
"I'm hoping that I can have a relationship like my parents did. I mean my dad met my mom in high school and they've been together ever since."
"Haley, you are not your parents. You need to be you. If anything I've learned from this mind relapse thing is to be yourself. It doesn't matter if you don't have sex, as long as you are who you need to be."
"Well it's just I keep having this image in my head of Nathan and this girl around school. I can't get it out of my head. No matter what I do, it's just too awkward."
"And how long ago was that?"
"It was like freshman year."
"Why are you being so hard on yourself and Nathan? He obviously wants to be with you and you are thinking of every excuse in the book not to." Haley's cell phone rang. "Hey, I'm gonna check my cell and you talk to your phone call."
Brooke checked her message.
This is Leslie, Doctor Taggano's assistant. This message is for Brooke Davis. I need to know if you have found a new doctor or you just have been skipping your appointments on purpose. It is imperative you call us back immediately. Your health is very important to us and we need to be sure you are in good care. You have my number, please, please call us back. And your next appointment is on next Tuesday, I will hope to see you. It's at nine o'clock sharp, in the morning. So please, call us if you can't make or we'll be more than happy to see you.
Brooke deleted the message. She looked up to Haley slowly walking into her room holding her phone.
"Haley, what's wrong?"
"I have to attend a dinner for my dad, as congratulations. He got the job offer he wanted."
"That's good, so where will he be working."
"As a producer for this really talented record label."
"That's awesome, but there aren't any record labels around here, maybe in Charlotte."
"Yeah but that one didn't want my dad, neither did the one in Virginia or the one in Florida or any state within the four state radius of North Carolina."
"Haley, what are you saying?"
"He got a job in London."
"Please tell me you mean the city in Ohio."
"No, it's the real London."
"But it's so far away, how can he just move to London."
"For a three times as much pay raise as he has now and he can give his family more than he ever dreamed."
"But you're not even done with high school yet, how can they just take you out?"
"My mom was a teacher; she's gonna home school me. It was talked about when my dad was going for the job in London. That was when everything was different. You were here, but you weren't. Short story, I didn't really have a lot of things I would miss. Then I started talking to Nathan and my parents didn't really mention the job offer. And I sort of forgot about it."
"And now?"
"I would be sad that I left, and sometimes I feel like I'm already gone."
"Haley, I need you here. But this isn't about me."
"Sometimes I just think it would be better if I left, maybe for a while. If I wanted to, I'm sure I could come back and stay with Karen and Keith. I love Lily and I practically lived there when Luke and I were growing up."
"Well what's gonna happen if you love it there? Could you be able to live in London the rest of your life. Miss out on graduation, miss out on your life here."
"Brooke, I have no life here!"
"If that's the way you feel…"
"Brooke, I'm sorry, it's…"
"It's just before the accident, I was a bitch and even me being an angle wouldn't cover that up."
"That's not it."
"Yeah it is. I get the looks from everyone around here. From Peyton to Lucas, I think even Owen looks at me wondering when I'm going to flip back into the former version of myself."
"It could happen, I guess."
"But even if I remember all the rest of me, I think I would feel horrible. I mean I can remember exactly how I felt the day I came back to school and the way you looked at me, Peyton and Lucas. I think even Nathan gave me a glare. I can tell I was horrible to everyone. And then Peyton she told me who I was before. And what happened to Mouth."
"Getting a call from Lucas to tell me to get to the hospital in the middle of the night was the worst feeling in the world."
"To identify the body?"
"No, to see Mouth. He wasn't awake, but doctors said he would wake up. He was very lucky to have survived though."
"Survived? Wait, Peyton told me he died."
"He didn't die, Brooke. His parents moved him in with his aunt and uncle. He lives in Chicago. You must have understood Peyton wrong. Why would she have said Mouth died?"
"Because I had no memory and she could've said Mouth was in the car with me or that I murdered him and I wouldn't remember."
"Look, I'm not the one to get into anyone's business, but maybe not asking Peyton about this would be a good idea."
"Oh a good idea to know or not if I didn't kill someone?"
"Keep the peace? Look, there's a party tonight at the beach house. You should go."
"Are you going?"
"It's Nathan's father's beach house. Not really a place I want to be."
"If you don't go, I won't."
"Now that's not fair, Brooke. You and I have different reasons for going…or not going."
"Your reason is you don't want to see Nathan. And my reason is it's my old stomping grounds and I have a new anger issue with Peyton."
"If you do go, could not do anything. Or you know, just avoid Peyton."
"That's a problem because Peyton and I have become like BFF and it's hard to see her as not BFF, you know?"
"Bring that boyfriend of yours, you know. He can meet everyone; you can use him to avoid Peyton."
"I can try, I hate to spring things on him like he has to come to everything that I want to go to."
"So you want to go?"
"My doctor says that I should be in familiar territories, that might jog my memory. But the way I hear about my former life, I don't want to be on the same planet as my old life."
"Your old life was drinking and sex and parties. It's a party; you don't have to drink and don't have to have sex. Just a party?"
"There's a first time for everything, right?"
"Yeah, come on, you can be my date."
"Sure, but just so you know, I don't remember doing any playing for the other team, so…"
"See, there's that Brooke Davis charm coming back."
