A/N: A belated happy birthday to Licht, and for anyone wondering where the Alone Together one-shot is, check out the author's note at the end of the chapter!


Happy Birthday, Licht (20.05.19)

Though "Richie's" birthday had been a less-than-royal event, with some good-natured well-wishing and a bottle of vintage from the cafe's cellars—because it was Glanzreich and that meant you could get away with champagne in the mid-afternoon—by contrast, Heine was expecting Prince "Licht's" birthday to play out in the way that the prince's affairs usually did: theatrical, extravagant, and likely costing the annual budget of a small kingdom.

He wasn't, however, expecting to a servant to pull him and Prince Licht aside the moment they got back from town, in one of the open-air hallways adjacent to the inner palace square, to ask the prince in question about where to put a delivery of goods.

'A parcel? I'd hate to dirty my delicate hands,' Licht shrugged, 'but I suppose I can take it while I'm here?'

'No, it's a literal delivery of goods, Your Highness.'

'What?'

The servant pointed to a nearby delivery cart, one that looked in danger of toppling over. It was packed with enough packaged boxes and goods that you would have thought that Eins had gotten over his pre-marital dithering and let the palace order in supplies for a wedding.

'What the…'

'Prince?'

Licht shrugged, then his expression altered drastically. 'Ah. Ah, of course!'

'What is this, exactly?' Heine asked.

'Eh? Oh, right.' Licht twirled around, ran an expert hand through his blond tresses, and posed with a grin that made Heine wonder if the prince could do with a dunk in the nearby fountain. 'Happy birthday to me—from my assorted acquaintances and lady friends, if I'm not mistaken?'

The servant bowed and Heine whirled around to the cart again, aghast. 'What?! Just how many presents do princes typically receive on such occasions? And for that matter, just how many amorous partners do you have?'

'As many as the stars in the sky, and each one of them special!'

The servant kept a straight face and said, 'Yes, Prince, we were requested by certain young noble and common women in town to deliver these items to you. Several of them also asked us if we would deliver their affections and kisses to you, but—'

Licht blanched and said hurriedly, 'Whoa, okay, thanks but no thanks—it's the thought that counts!'

'As you wish, Highness.'

The cart pulled up beside the two of them, and with words of farewell, the servants left amidst a swarm of maids carrying off the spoils to a sitting room within the palace.

'Well, happy birthday, Prince. I confess that the occasion took me by surprise.'

Licht glanced at him as they walked, then laughed. 'Hm? Oh, thanks. Kind of forgot myself, almost.'

And they walked into what looked like the aftermath of an exploded shopping trip, with Helene setting down a one last towering stack of candy-coloured boxes before passing them on her way out as they walked in.

'Well… wow!' Licht got to one knee, his bright blue eyes sparkling like jewels as his gaze flicked around the gifts.

Heine stood to the side, hands hovering in the air and of half a mind that if he got too close he'd get pulled in by the undertow of wrapping paper and ribbons. 'Prince, is this… a regular occurrence?'

Licht glanced back, his gloves covered in glitter. 'What is? My enduring popularity with the ladies, or my being so adorably loveable that my entire circle of acquaintances takes the opportunity to shower me with an absurd number of gifts on my birthday?'

'The latter. I think.'

Licht smirked, then laughed. 'Heh. Yeah, pretty much. Though it kind of feels like more than last year. I wonder why?'

Heine looked around, and raised an eyebrow. 'I'm not certain. As you often brag about your good looks, and one's appearance is supposed to improve with time, perhaps an increase in your physical attractiveness over the past year attracted more girls and sent them all into an fit—in other words, a chemically-induced spike in generosity.'

Licht finally shut his mouth, and said, 'Teach, I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear ninety-percent of that, or we're going to have problems.'

'I think you already have problems and more pleasant ones at that—such as deciding what to do with all your presents.'

'Oh, right.' Licht picked up a gift box, and glanced around at the gifts again. On closer examination, some of the packaging looked somewhat foreign. Licht saw Heine looking and explained, 'Ah, these little trinkets are from friends overseas.'

'Hardly little trinkets,' Heine said, noting the size of some of the gifts. 'And I wasn't aware you had friends.'

Licht waved a hand dismissively. 'In a way. They're young royals of other kingdoms. You know, "Popular with ladies, friendly with young royals of other kingdoms," and all that?'

'I see. I suppose it's because I never actually see you pulling your diplomatic weight that I didn't make the connection,' Heine mused.

'Heine, I swear, you are insufferable sometimes…' Licht trailed off, and stared at the pile of assorted gifts that had gathered around him. He examined one of the gift tags. '"Isabella." Who was she again?' After a silence, he let out a low, embarrassed laugh. 'I don't think I even know who some of these people are. Either that, or my memory's hit rock bottom on a scale of the scale of one to Leonhard.'

But he couldn't tear his eyes away, his lips moving and his brow creased as he stared at the labels and cards that flooded the floor like foam on a seashore. 'I literally don't even know this girl. And who's this princess? I met her like, once. When I passed her on a staircase. And it wasn't even a smooth pass, it was one of those awkward waiting-for-people-to-move-so-you-can-get-to-the-washroom kind of passes. And…' He trailed off. '"Ella"? I thought I broke up with her… two years ago now.'

Licht finally fell silent. '…What?'

Heine pushed his glasses up. 'I may be incorrect, Prince—'

'That'd be a first—'

'—but isn't gift-giving and such often used to curry favour? I imagine that being in the public eye comes with a lot of attention, no? And you are a prince, after all.'

'Ah. Yeah.' Licht laughed again. 'Yeah, I mean, like I said—I'm not really friends with any of these other royals, of course! And we all know that I go through girls like paper and ink, like Bruno says. Haha…'

Licht's smile faded, and he suddenly looked very much alone in a sea of cards and ribbon.

'…Yeah.'

'It doesn't truly make you happy, does it, Prince?'

'What?'

Heine got down on one knee at the prince's side and said, 'You deny that you act like a youngest son, and you pretend as though your loneliness as a child doesn't bother you—but at the end of the day, aren't you going through everything from lovers to acquaintances to theatrics in order to get some kind of attention to fill the gap?'

After a second, Licht blushed and stammered, 'What?! I am not—how could you think that! I'm a charismatic, sought-after prince who doesn't need anyone's attention; the attention comes to me!'

Heine looked away, then back again. 'Because you desperately do everything in your power to get it, Prince.' He stood up and dusted the glitter off his trousers—right as Bruno stalked into the room.

'Licht, I've been looking everywhere for—what even is all this paraphernalia?'

'Geh, Brunie!' Then Licht clapped a hand over his mouth. 'Uh… Birthday presents? Happy birthday to me and all that.'

'Ah.' And Bruno slapped a bookmark into Licht's hand. 'That's why I was looking for you—happy birthday.'

Licht's face went blank. Then he yelled, 'Are you serious?!'

'Prince?' Heine asked.

'Don't ask—' Licht crossed his arms and said, 'I accidentally dogeared a page of one of your books and this is what you give me for my birthday? You're horrible, and I—'

'I'm not serious.' And Bruno took the bookmark away, pressing a bottle of cologne into Licht's hands instead. 'I was in jest, for goodness' sake!' But Heine didn't miss the diabolical grin that flickered over Bruno's face for an instant. 'To think I got one over on you—'

'Cologne?'

'You said you were tired of your old one, didn't you?'

'Mm.' Licht smirked and pulled the lid off. 'Let me guess—it's your personal favourite, scented with musty old book essence!'

'Licht!' Bruno yelled.

The door slammed open and Leonhard rushed in. 'Licht! Happy birthday! I couldn't stomach the thought of buying you coffee but kardinalschnitten has coffee cream in it so I thought that was close enough!'

Leonhard tossed the box over and Licht scrambled to catch it. 'Wow, thanks for insulting my preferences, Leo!'

'I'm simply stating that your preferences are wrong, but I bought you something you'd like anyway so be quiet and take it!' Leonhard crossed his arms and glanced at the box.

'Have you taken a bite of it already?'

'Maybe?'

'Happy birthday, Licht…' Kai wandered in, and rummaged around in his jacket for a gift. 'Mm… ah.' And he pulled out a rabbit, dropping it into Licht's hands. 'Happy birthday. Fluffy…'

Licht blinked. 'Um. Thank you. I'm not really in the market for a pet right now, but…' He grinned. 'It is cute. Be a good chap and take care of it for me, Kai?'

Kai nodded and took "Fluffy" back, the rabbit promptly disappearing into his jacket again. 'Mm.'

Bruno pushed his glasses up, giving Kai a worried look. 'Just exactly how many articles of native wildlife do you have on you right now?'

Kai considered. 'Mm…' Then a mouse skittered out of Kai's pocket briefly, prompting Bruno to let out a rather undignified shriek.

'Kai!'

'…Sorry.'

Licht burst out laughing, and nearly dropped Bruno and Leonhard's presents. 'Ah, dear me. That aside, can you all help me with something?'

'Like what?'

Licht waved an arm at the landscape of presents to their left. 'With this! I've got to deal with it all somehow, so here's what we'll do: Leonhard, you take the chocolate; Kai, you take the flowers, and Bruno, you take all the cards and letters!'

'A-As you wish, but why the cards and l—'

'So you can recycle them—you've got to write the first drafts of your next thesis on something, right? So why not the backs of a pile of sordid love letters from all my admirers! …What else?'

'Are you quite—'

'Yes, chocolate!' Leonhard whooped, and dived right into the thick of it.

Kai nodded, but hesitated. 'But… they're your presents, so…'

Licht gathered up an armful of assorted gifts and gave them a sunny smile. 'Eh, I'll just keep a few of my favourites. Ones from my favourite girls, rather! And besides.' His eyes creased in a genuine grin. 'I got gifts from you, so that's the best thing!'

They set to work and Heine kept his mouth shut, but Licht finally gave him an unimpressed look and said, 'I can tell you need to get some teacherly quote out of your system, so just spit it out.'

Heine promptly disappeared behind a stack of boxes that Leonhard dropped into his arms, and had to turn to catch Licht's eye. 'As you wish. I was thinking that even though these over-done demonstrations of generosity were in themselves actually unwanted… I can't help but think that perhaps they helped you appreciate the gifts from the people who truly care about you, no?'

Licht blinked. 'W-Well, I guess…'

'My, you really are an ordinary child, aren't you—'

Licht threw up his hands dramatically and said, 'Enough! In another couple of years you won't even be able to call me a child, so there! I'll be the most eligible prince in Glanzreich and breaking hearts all across the Western Continent!'

Bruno groaned and said, 'Heaven forfend us from a corresponding exponential increase in presents, please and thank you.'

'Nonsense! If it means more chocolate then by all means yes!'

'Ooh, I've got it!' Licht said brightly. 'Apparently redirecting gift-giving towards one's favourite charity is quite trendy right now, so how about I set up a fund for the Maria Vetsera church and let all my acquaintances have at it?'

'This bodes somewhat ill…'

'I know, I know, but crowdfunding a better fashion sense for Bruno isn't as noble an ambition—you know, clothes make the man and everything can be bought, but—'

'LICHT! That's is it, sit down!'

'Waaah, Brunie! Come on, no lectures on my birthday, all right?!'

The End


A/N: All right, darlings (for lack of a better place for a status update), in short:

1. I started a new job last month! Which means that I now have work, staff training, studies, original writing, other drama, and everything short of a social life...

2. But despite all that, I'll still be writing fanfic! Just probably not with the confetti-cannon-level volume that I used to.

3. I'll be focusing my efforts on the TRB one-shots and sequel as opposed to other content (says me who writes one-shots and character birthday stories with reckless abandon), but we'll see what happens.

4. Speaking of TRB, landing a job out of the blue meant that my writing time last month *poofed*. The time I was meant to be writing the Royal Bodyguard one-shot Alone Together (due out today). So I'm postponing it yet again! But life happens, and I'm learning not to get hung up on release dates. So, I'm sorry about that, guys, because unforeseen circumstances literally tripped me up this time...

5. But, ladies and gentlemen, I've still been able to do some work on those stories nonetheless! Alone Together, Lavender Bullets, Red Banner, and a new addition to the line up—Shooting Star—will all come out eventually. Anyway, the moral of the story is... I will never commit to a set release date again! Just keep your eyes open during 2019.

6. Also, look forward to The Royal Bodyguard's sequel in 2020! No, seriously, get hyped—if you liked TRB, the sequel is like putting the series through a gauntlet with swinging blades and spikes and covering it in pink glitter and dousing it with petrol, sarcasm, and feminist jokes before setting the whole thing on fire with a flamethrower. Even though I don't think they had flamethrowers or petrol in the 1880's (although they did have sarcasm and feminism. Not sure about the pink glitter). …If you couldn't tell, guys, I've written over five chapters of the sequel so far and I'm so excited that I'll probably be able to ride this wave all the way to the story's release. Yeah! I think you're going to love it.

7. And for those of you who are miraculously still here and still reading this, I'm currently working on revising the last of the stories from Royal Tutor Collection to be rereleased as one-shots: Absence, Chasm, and Tea and Rain. I'm getting there, and those three should be up this month! (Should, people, should).

Right, now I've successfully info-dumped and updated you all …

Thanks for reading, as always; you're all amazing, and happy reading both now and in the future when I get around to updating again! -E