Disclaimer::I own nothing but half the idea. lol

Chapter 08: Struggle for control

Tatsuki sat on the floor against her bed in the dark of her room with her zanpakutou resting on her lap. She let out a sigh and she looked down at it, this was the first time she actually brought it home to secretly do her own training but her mind was focused on other things now, her flight, her black out, Yoruichi's actions before her leave, and then there was Orihime.

She let out another, much longer sigh. It had awhile since she really last thought about her. She had been so focused on her training that she had forgotten why she was really doing it. A tear rolled down her cheekwhile she closed her eyes and thought about Orihime. Just how long had it been since the two of them had hung out and had a normal time without uncertainties and doubt? There had always been awkwardness however, Tatsuki's feelings for the girl were too strong for her to be at ease around her.

Her mind began to calm and soon she felt her consciousness fall away to nothing but it wasn't sleep that was taking her, it was Honoban. She was being brought back to her inner world and this knowledge didn't bother her even in the slightest. This was why she had brought her zanpakutou with her. She needed to confront whatever took control of her during her black outs. This struggle had to end before she lost herself again or worse, completely.

A cool breeze blew through her hair making her open her eyes to find herself sitting in the tall grass with Honoban present before her sitting on the same rock he was always on. He watched her carefully without word while he awaited Tatsuki to speak of her desired control. "Honoban, what is my power exactly?"

"I had thought you came in search of something other than to question me." Honoban replied amusedly.

"I am here for something else." Tatsuki admitted. "But first I need to know what I'm going to be up against."

"Very well, months before you were attacked by a hollow that had taken your body and controlled it though you have no memory of this taking place. When the hollow was slain a piece of its existence remained inside you because you held enough reiatsu for it to leach off of and survive though it was weak." Honoban explained. "While it originated from a hollow it was manipulative in nature so in order for it to survive it manipulated itself to your personality to grow stronger and took form of the source of reiatsu closest to you. It took the form of Kurosaki, Ichigo's soul reaper power while it continued to take your personality and persistence but it has maintained the greed of the hollow that had controlled you."

"How could it take the form of Ichigo's power?" Tatsuki asked shocked. "I never hang out with him so why didn't it take another form?"

"While you may not be with him he was always close to you, more so than anyone with reiatsu and the density of his power fed the hollows greed. It wanted that power to manipulate it and like a fire it engulfed it and twisted his power to create me." Honoban said. "The truth of your power is that it is both hollow and soul reaper. The hollow inside you is persistent in controlling you yet your own persistence combats with it regularly though its greed overpowers your reasoning when it comes to power."

"My greed," Tatsuki muttered absent mindedly recalling the conversation she had with Urahara and Yoruichi before her last black out. They were right but her anger made her believe that they were wrong. She had really believed that it was still all about Orihime but she had just become a scapegoat in the greed for power. She clenched her fists in anger and she met Honoban's eyes, "I want whatever hollow inside me gone."

"Are you so confident that you say those words so freely?" Honoban asked. "You've proven yourself incapable of controlling it yet you wish to face it so openly."

"I don't plan on controlling it, I want to kill it." Tatsuki said confidently.

"You were given the chance to face it already and you had failed allowing it to grow even stronger." Honoban said calmly. "It has taken your fears that you so ignorantly deny. Your ignorance makes it stronger. This is why I will not allow you to hold my true power while you carry such ignorance."

"I understand." Tatsuki said confidently. "I'll face all my fears right now. I'm not afraid of them anymore."

"Very well, but know this, there is little I can do to assist you in this." Honoban said. "Be cautious this will be dangerous and you may lose yourself and your life."

Everything slowly became dark and fire grew in the field letting smoke rise and block out the sun just like it had before and Honoban disappeared leaving her alone in the chaos. She understood the fire now and didn't fear it so she stood up and slid her zanpakutou under her sash. Tatsuki took a quick glance around before moving to another part of the field. A loud howl echoed through the field and she knew immediately what was going to happen next. She would find Orihime being attacked but this time she was ready for it.

Tatsuki ran in the direction of the scream and did in fact find Orihime being attacked by a hollow. A twinge of fear spiked inside her but she soon banished it with the confidence she held inside her. With all the training she had and all the feats she had accomplished that day this should be nothing for her to deal with and she had more control over her reiatsu since she wasn't denying Honoban anymore. She was so much stronger now that she was confident that she wouldn't have any problems with this.

When Tatsuki neared the hollow she unsheathed her zanpakutou and used flash step to slay the hollow instantly before sliding to a stop a few feet away and glanced back in time to see the hollow disappear. Her gaze went to the illusion that portrayed itself as Orihime. She gave it an unconcerned look and waited for the other hollows to appear while the illusion approached her, "Tatsuki, what's going on?"

Tatsuki didn't answer its question, there was no way she could talk to something that was impersonating someone she held so dear to her. The illusion placed its hand on Tatsuki's shoulder but she tried shrugged it off in annoyance and angrily said, "Don't talk to me, I know you're not really Orihime."

The grip tightened on her shoulder and Tatsuki began to feel like she was in danger. She readied her swords and threw the illusions hand off her shoulder and pressed a blade against its neck while giving it a short livid glare before her eyes widened with shock when she found that the illusion had taken the form of Orihime when they had first met. Her heart raced and told her to drop her swords and take this girl in her arms.

Orihime was now a few years younger and her hair had been cut unevenly by the kids that were bullying her. The grey eyes held so much sorrow and glistened with tears that rolled freely down her cheeks. Her hands were on her chest like she was a frightened child, "You're scaring me, Tatsuki."

A tear fought to fall from Tatsuki's eye and she unwillingly muttered, "Hime…"

Orihime smiled kindly at her, "I'm here, Tatsuki."

"Don't…" Tatsuki started as Orihime reached out at her making her move out of reach of the illusion. Was that really all it was, just an illusion? It was so real it couldn't be an illusion. Orihime approached her with such a gentle smile that made everything else seem to fade away. Tatsuki closed her eyes and the tear she had fought fell down her cheek, "Forgive me."

She thrust her zanpakutou into the flesh of the body that approached her. A loud shriek rang through the air making Tatsuki open her eyes and back away from the mutated creature standing before her. This thing was not Orihime. In fact it was so far from her it made it clear that this thing had taken her beloved friend's image to get closer to her without her even realizing it. Just realising that fact told her that she had been manipulated by this thing the minute she began feeling her reiatsu growing inside her because with that feeling she had the urge to get stronger for Orihime's sake.

Its grotesque figure twitched and cracked with each step it made when it tried to get closer to her making the chains around it rattle with every movement. Its black eyes watched her angrily while it continued its approach. The ragged dirty white robes it wore were in shreds and barely covered its body clearly showing its female gender. Blood dripped from its wound slowly before steam rose from it and the wound disappeared, slowly healing while it walked.

Tatsuki's eyes widened in surprise and she continued to back away finding fear of this thing the closer it got to her. All she wanted to do is turn and run away as fast as she could but a part of her couldn't do that. It was as if she knew that to turn away now would just result in her death. The creature reached out with a long arm and it chuckled harshly at the fear in Tatsuki's eyes. "Your fear is delicious. I look forward to devouring you whole."

Tatsuki's eyes widened even more at the voice that spoke both in her mind and from the thing that reached out for her. Her grip tightened around her zanpakutou and she steeled her courage. That part of her that told her not to run away also told her that she knew exactly what to do and how to do it. Her eyes grew cold while she spoke the words a part of her told her to say, "Sho-bo."

Her zanpakutou was engulfed with a burning hot fire that didn't harm her so she picked up her guard without letting herself be concerned with it but the creature wasn't fazed by this and continued closer to her while Tatsuki remained still. When the outstretched arm came closer to her face Tatsuki swung at it and cut it off easily. The creature shrieked in pain and Tatsuki watched its flesh burned as simmered from the flames and she found a small sick joy from the sight. It lashed out with its remaining arm but Tatsuki jumped out of the way to avoid it. She picked up her guard the moment she landed, "You imitated someone I care about. I will kill you for that."

The creature laughed darkly at her words and picked up its arm without care for Tatsuki's defense and pressed it to the remainder of its arm. Its laughter stopped when the arm fell away when it was released. Tatsuki raised her sword so that it pointed to the creature while allowing the other to linger by her side in a taunt knowing what it was trying to do, "You're flesh has been seared by my fire. It won't heal."

It shrieked with rage and quickened it's movements towards her. Tatsuki narrowed her eyes at the creature and advanced on it without fear. Its wounds weren't healing so she knew that she could kill it and she had resolved to do that. She swung her blade at the closest part of the creature but when her blade should have cut flesh it only cut the creature vanished before the swing could connect making Tatsuki jumped back and hold her guard while she carefully paid attention to any sound and movement around her but all she heard was the grass crackling in the heat of the flames around her and there was nothing that suggested the creature had reappeared.

She heard the slight rattle of chains and jumped to the side while turning in the direction of the sound to witness the chain hit the ground where she just stood and it made quite an impact creating a cloud of dirt and ash which mixed into the smoke. Tatsuki watched the chain carefully to see it retract into a dark void where it disappeared followed shortly by the void closing. Tatsuki grit her teeth in anger, "Stop hiding you coward!"

She heard the chainsagain but before she could react they fastened themselves around her ankles and tightened painfully while they snaked their way up and around her body, trapping her where she stood. The moment the chains touched her zanpakutou the fire extinguished around them, but it wasn't just the flames it was devouring. She cried out in pain feeling the life being squeezed out of her bit by bit from the chains. Her fear rose when she felt a ragged breath on the back of her neck causing a cold chill to crawl down her spine from the creature that spoke rigidly in her ear, "You think you're clever don't you, human? But your cleverness has worn out and now you will know your fear."

Its remaining hand came up around her and its long deformed nails trailed down the side of Tatsuki's face cutting her skin with ease while she struggled helplessly to escape. Her heart pounded in her chest and the nails left her face before its fingers wrapped around the front of her neck and dug into the side. A cold chuckle was breathed into her ears while the nails slowly inched their way to her jugular. Tatsuki tried desperately to free her arms but the ice cold breath on her neck was making it near impossible to move and she felt her fear intensify.

The nails stopped when an image of Orihime appeared before them. She smiled kindly while approaching Tatsuki and placed a hand on her unharmed cheek, "Everything will be okay, Tatsuki."

A tear rolled down Tatsuki's face at the words that she knew she could believe. Orihime leaned closer to her until she was only a hairsbreadth away and her image faltered for an instant to show her on fire. The slight fault in the image made Tatsuki realize the creature wasn't the one doing this. If it was the creature's doing then there would have been no fault in the image and it would have already slit her throat instead of stopping.

Honoban had sent that image to calm her and hint an answer. A slight smile formed on Tatsuki's face and Orihime backed away without anything more than the fault of image. Orihime smiled at Tatsuki one last time before disappearing. The single tear dropped from her chin and she felt her anger rise in its absence that burned her like a raging fire. The fire engulfed her body like it had the last time she tried to face her fears and burned Orihime. The reason that had happened was because not only was there no control but she had been too close making Orihime catch fire also. The confident part of her conscience told Tatsuki what to say and she obeyed, "Hono-genkai."

The fire around her expanded and shot out burning the creature behind her, melting away the chain in the process. The creature backed away letting Tatsuki turn to face it with a growing hate for it but rather than seize the opportunity to attack it she watched it with a deep loathing. Blood dripped down her face and neck from the wounds but she had no care for it or the pain it caused her. She raised her zanpakutou to the creature and let her hatred fill her voice, "Now it's your turn to be afraid."

The creature laughed at her while the last of its chains melted away, "Foolish human, you just destroyed the only chance you had. Those chains were all that remained of my seal."

Tatsuki's eyes narrowed while she watched the creature surrounded itself with reiatsu blocking it from sight. Her grip tightened on her weapons and prepared for a sneak attack when the reiatsu began to fade away to reveal the creature in a new form. She felt her resolve weaver at the sight of this new form, it was no longer mutated, although it was very pale. It had become human, at least in form, and looked a little like her but also like someone else. It stood there in a mockery of her and it held a single short sword that resembled her zanpakutou. It took in a deep breath and exhaled with a dark smirk, "I have been reborn."

"Don't get used to the feeling, you'll be dead soon." Tatsuki said as she picked up her guard. "Sho-bo"

The fire engulfed her zanpakutou and she used flash step to attack the creature and barely gave it a chance to block her attack. Their blades locked and they glared at each other with eyes that were fueled with anger for the other they fought. It was a battle for dominance against the other and Tatsuki wasn't about to let up, letting the fire on her zanpakutou flicker out like it was trying to attack the other and grasp the upper hand. Their blades left each other and they jumped away. Their eyes never left the others while they leapt at each other again. "I'm not afraid of you anymore. You have no power over me."

The creature glared at her in anger and was soon forced back. Tatsuki followed it without giving it a chance while the flames on her zanpakutou grew and moved up her arms making the creature smirk. Tatsuki ignored both it and the flames to focus solely on destroying this thing and getting full control over herself. Their blades locked and Tatsuki thrust her other short sword at the creature impaling it in the side. The flames grew immediately and spread across its body. Tatsuki used its pain as a distraction and knocked its sword away to impale it in the center of its chest. The creature narrowed its eyes and brought its weapon down on Tatsuki, who twisted her blade inside the creature and ripped it out to block the attack.

Its blade was stopped inches from her face and Tatsuki twisted her other blade inside the creature before ripping it out the side of its body. There was no spray of blood from the creature jumped back away from Tatsuki, who just straightened up and approached it calmly. Now it was the creature that backed away and gripped its wounds like it was trying to heal them but had been seared shut by the flame of her zanpakutou making it impossible and a wasted effort. She held no more fear of this thing and she never would again because she knew that she was stronger that it. There was nothing to fear from this thing and she knew that well now.

The creature tried to attack Tatsuki but it was easily blocked and thrown off balance with the sound of cracking metal. Its eyes widened when two blades came down on it before it had a chance to move or avoid it. Both swords made contact with it and the creature remained unmoving until Tatsuki removed her blades from it and kicked it away with a look of pure disgust. She let out a sigh of relief when the field slowly began to restore itself to its usual calming appearance and the creature faded away.

"An impressive feat." Honoban said.

"I had some help." Tatsuki said. "Thanks for that, Honoban."

Honoban nodded, "I cannot allow you to die so easily."

"You were telling me what to say during the fight, right?" Tatsuki asked.

"That is correct," Honoban replied. "I assume I have no need to inform you on the illusion."

"No," Tatsuki said distantly. "You really opened my eyes with that, thanks."

"If you are in need of my power then you must simply ask and I shall assist you." Honoban turned to leave. "You have done what you needed. Next time my power is needed you know what words to speak, they will not be whispered to you. Return to your world and rest."

Tatsuki nodded and soon found herself back in her room. She let out a sigh and slid her zanpakutou underneath her bed before getting up to leave her room. An exhausted yawn escaped her while she walked down the hallway to go to the bathroom. She closed the door and looked into the mirror to see there was blood on her face, neck and shirt. Her hand fumbled with the handle until there was a definite click of the lock. She slowly walked over to the sink while placing her hand on her cheek and winced in pain when her fingers grazed the cuts on her face. She turned on the water with her free hand while the other didn't leave her cheek despite the searing pain it caused her from the open wounds.

When the water was warm enough she splashed it in her face and did her best to clean the drying blood from her face but that was soon replaced by fresh blood that dripped down her face from the four long cuts down her face and from the smaller yet much deeper cuts on her neck. She continued to wash away the blood until no more would drip from the wound and then even more out of shock and thoughts of the creature.

It took a few minutes before she stopped the bleeding but it was even longer before her shock faded and she looked away from the mirror and left the bathroom to go back to her room where she stopped at the realization that there was absolutely no way to explain these wounds to anyone that would see them other than the people at Urahara's shop. If there were somewhere else on her body then she could easily hide it with clothing or maybe even explain it but not when they were claw makes on her face.

Tatsuki slowly walked to her bed and laid down soon losing herself in thoughts and questions. How was she even supposed to hide this from her parents? Everyone at school was one thing but her parents wouldn't believe anything she could possibly say about it, not that she could say anything about it. They were already asking enough questions about why she was barely ever home now and when she was home it was to sleep and nothing more than that since everything else was done either at school or at Urahara's.

A knock on her door snapped her attention out of her thoughts and made her quickly roll over to face the wall so she could pretend to be asleep. The door opened slowly then closed after a moment. Tatsuki shifted in hopes in hopes that the mark on her neck was hidden. The marks on her face were covered by the pillow at least and she was grateful for that. Her eyes were shut tight while she waited for any type of movement to let her know if it was safe to move without having to worry about her wounds or even the blood on her clothing being noticed.

She heard the chair by her desk being pulled out from her desk and soon after someone sat down with a sigh. From the femininity of the sigh it was clear to her that it was her mom that sat down. Tatsuki hoped above all else that she wouldn't glance under her bed and find her zanpakutou. She had done all that she could to hide them on her way home from Urahara's shop but she hadn't bothered much to hide it inside her own room because she didn't think her parents would come in here and she also didn't expect wounds received in her inner world would transfer to the 'material world', as Honoban called it.

The longer she laid there the more the side of her face throbbed since it hadn't had time to begin healing yet and with this it might become infected but the cuts on her face weren't as deep as the ones on her neck so she wasn't too worried about it. A bit of disinfectant would be all she would need for her face. Considering how disgusting that creature was that should have been the first thing she did after she stopped the bleeding in case the wounds were infected when they were inflicted but her shock had made her oblivious to thoughts of infection.

After a while Tatsuki began to feel tired and hoped that her mom would leave soon so that she wouldn't have to worry about falling asleep and rolling over while her mom was still in the room resulting in both her parents finding out about everything and that was the last thing she needed right now. She would have to stay in her room until she could sneak out either in the morning or later on in the night so that she wouldn't have to worry about being caught.

She heard her mom get up from the chair and push it in and walk towards the door before she stopped abruptly making Tatsuki's heart race at the sound of her mom approached the bed. That was it, she was caught, either her mom had seen her zanpakutou or she was coming to see if she was really asleep or not since she hadn't moved an inch after shifting to try and cover the wound on her neck a little more. It was pretty clear that something was up and her mom had caught on.

Her heart almost stopped when her mom stopped at the end of the bed and remained there for a while before quickly going back to the door and closed it a little loudly. Tatsuki remained still out of fear that it was a rouse meant to either wake her up or give away her own rouse but she wasn't about to chance anything right now. If she did and she was caught then she would have a lot of explaining to do and she had no clue where to even start.

Something landed on her bed in front of her making her eyes snap open to find one part of her zanpakutou on the bed and soon after she began to feel an ominous presence behind her. She slowly glanced over and found her mom standing by the bed with crossed arms and an angry look as she looked down at her, "Do you want to explain this?"

"No," Tatsuki said immediately and she grasped the one sword in front of her while the other was still in her mom's possession. "Can I have that back?"

"No," Her mom responded with the obvious response. "What happened to your face?"

"I have no way of explaining that." Tatsuki answered truthfully. "Why are you in my room?"

"You didn't clean the blood trail you left from the bathroom." Her mother replied. "So what happened?"

Tatsuki let out a sigh knowing there was no way out of this without running away. She would have to do her best to come up with a good lie since there was no way she was going to tell her mother what was really going on. "I started practicing kendo."

"This is a real sword not a shinai." Her mom countered instantly and reached for the hilt to unsheathe it but as soon as her hand was on it smoke started to rise from it making her drop it immediately. She held her hand in front of her chest in fear while it smoked with singing flesh from the heat of the sword. "What is that thing?"

Tatsuki quickly grabbed the still smoking sword from where it landed on her bed. When she touched it the smoke stopped and it cooled immediately making her recall what Urahara had once told her about the bond between a zanpakutou and soul reaper. "No one else can wield it but me."

Though if that were true then would that be more evidence that this were actually a real zanpakutou and not just a replica of one like it had also been suspected but actual proof of it being real would be to achieve a shikai or something. But could a replica be able to portray an inner world as well and all of the other things Honoban had already done and granted her? "Tatsuki, where did you get those things?"

"They were a gift from a close friend." She said almost fondly. "I've been training with them ever since."

"So you're telling me this 'close friend' of yours cut your face and neck like that?" She asked angrily.

"No, that was something else entirely." Tatsuki said distantly as she recalled the creature. A shiver traveled throughout her body just at the thought of it. No wonder her fear had been so controlling over her just thinking about it was frightening.

Though Honoban had told her that it was manipulative in origin so it must have taken all her fears and morphed them together which would explain why it had been so mutated but then it had taken on another form and claimed the seal on it had been broken by her power. So did that mean that there was no more seal on her as well and where did the seal on the hollow even come from? No one else was even aware of its presence so how was a seal placed on it and why just a seal and not get rid of it completely though she was glad that it wasn't destroyed since it allowed her to grasp the power she held now.

"Honoban…" Tatsuki started slowly before recalling that her mom was still standing there.

"Who or what is this 'Honoban'?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

'I'm not going to get any help on this one am I?' Tatsuki thought doubtfully as she placed her zanpakutou behind her. "Well, that's what I call my swords."

"You named it?" She asked with a slight worried tone.

"I gave the name to myself." Honoban replied walking over Tatsuki's leg as he glanced over at her. "Your suspicion is correct, I am a true zanpakutou though you have no soul reaper abilities."

"Can I get them?" Tatsuki asked but Honoban just looked back at her mom, who was in complete shock from this turn of events.

Honoban jumped straight up from the bed and stopped mid-air in front of her mother's face. She seemed to go in a trance and walked out of the room without word while Honoban just floated back down to the edge of the bed. "I was created by the hollow that hoped to use me so I had acquired some of its ability to manipulate others. I am able to alter some things but my skill with manipulation is limited though it is enough to assure that she will not remember speaking with you of these matters."

"If you were created for that thing's use then why do I have you in my possession?" Tatsuki asked curiously.

"Regardless of whether or not you had created me I reside within you making you my master not that hollow." Honoban replied. "I was created as a replica of a real zanpakutou but your determination forged me into a true zanpakutou. My power is yours to wield since you allowed me to form it into what I am now. This is why I remained silent until you were ready to wield me."

"So then there's no way it could have controlled my power unless it controlled me." Tatsuki said. "It's pretty much powerless unless it manipulates something or someone."

"That is correct." Honoban replied. "It would be wise if you got rid of the blood in the hallway."

"Yeah," Tatsuki said as she left the bed and walked to the door before glancing back and finding only her swords present and no sign of the fox anywhere in her room. She watched her zanpakutou for a moment before leaving her room while muttering a single word, "Strange."