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We both sat silently for a few hours, lost in our own thoughts and the questions that we didn't want to ask each other.

I wanted to know if he was leaving again. I wanted to know if it was the first time a vampire had drank a humans blood and been able to stop. I wanted to know what I tasted like. I wanted to know if he wanted more.

I could only imagine what thoughts and questions were running through his head. I hoped that he would tell me, ask me. I looked over to find Edward looking at me. His eyes were sad, but even being blood red they didn't scare me. I couldn't take it anymore.

"When are you leaving?" I asked. I looked down, scared to see his face when he answered. We'd had the goodbye conversation before, and I wasn't looking forward to it again.

"Bella, I'm not leaving. I don't know…maybe it would be better for you, but I can't live without you again. I won't."

I looked up and nodded. "Good. Can…have other vampires done that?"

"No Bella. Usually…there is no way to stop the blood lust. If you hadn't done what you did I wouldn't have stopped."

"Could you stop again?"

Edward looked at me sharply, "Why would you ask that?"

I started pulling on one of my curls, "Well if you could stop…and if it would make you happy…"

Edward growled low in his throat and spoke in a low voice, "Bella. Do not even think about it. I could have killed you. Do you not understand that?"

"I do. But you stopped. I'm your singer Edward, if you could have that…why wouldn't you?"

"Bella…you still have the mind of an addict right now. You're not thinking of the consequences, just the pleasure. Yes, god, drinking your blood was amazing; almost as good as sliding into you…but…we can't do that again Bella. Plus I don't think the red eyes are a good look for me."

"Okay. I understand. It just felt so good. You have no idea Edward. Heroin was nothing compared to that. Why uh…why wasn't I turned?"

"I made sure to suck out any venom that got near you."

I nodded, "It tingles. But not like the scar from James…that one is cold but sometimes it burns. This…it feels good."

"It should've hurt. I've never heard of a bite feeling good."

"You didn't bite." I pointed out.

"I guess I didn't. Bella, are we? I mean was that…us being together, is that what you want?"

"I don't know Edward. I don't think it matters. I mean I could try to keep my distance but it wouldn't matter. I'm as in love with you now as I was before you left. That won't change."

"I love you Bella. I want to take care of you. But to do that I need you stop being so damn reckless. I mean Christ Bella, any other person in the world would have tried to get away or something. You, well you offer me your blood."

Edward's attitude seemed to be bringing out my own. "Yeah well, might not have been my best idea ever but you have to admit, we both had a fucking lot of fun. Speaking of fucking, how was that for you?" Even I knew my voice had taken on a slightly condescending tone.

"That was amazing."

"Oh. Are we going to be doing that again?"

"Bella." Edward shook his head. "Let's go get you something to eat."

I ignored the fact that he ignored my question and followed him down to the kitchen. Esme was making me chicken and rice. Alice came to sit next to me as Edward grabbed me a coke.

Edwards head whipped towards Alice and he growled slightly.

"Hey don't shoot the messenger Edward. I don't make the future, I just have the visions."

Alice stalked out of the room and Edward sat down next to me.

"What did she see Edward?"

"Nothing Bella. Nothing you need to worry about."

I doubted that. Edward always wanted to protect me, and he always seemed to think Alice's visions might go away if they were ignored. He was wrong on both accounts. He should've told me and the future wasn't going to go away. He also should have realized that I wouldn't let it go.

"Mmkay. What do you want to do tonight?" I got out my phone and sent a quick text message to Alice.

"You can pick. What are you doing?"

"Text messaging Jake." And by that time I was.

"Bella you can't talk to Jake. He's a werewolf. A young one. They are dangerous."

"Jake isn't dangerous, he's my friend and I haven't talked to him for a long time." A reply from Alice popped onto the screen and I read it quickly before deleting it. Interesting. She had seen us repeating this morning's experiment.

My message to Jake was simple. Hey Jake. How are you? I miss you.

It was only a few seconds before he texted me back. Hey Bella. I'm fine, how are you? Are you doing better? I'm sorry about…everything. I miss you. I love you.

Ah. And there was the reason I hadn't talked to him. Well that and the whole 'he stopped talking to me because he couldn't or didn't want to tell me he was a werewolf thing.'

I'm hanging in there. Don't be sorry. Love you too.

I sent the text and looked up to find Edward gone.

"You love him?" I jumped slightly. Edward was standing right behind me.

I sighed, "Yes. Not quite the same way. But I do. I'm sorry."

It was Edward's turn to sigh, "Don't be sorry Bella. This morning…that wasn't your first time was it?"

Shaking my head no was quite possibly the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.

"Jake?" This time I shook my head yes.

"I'm sorry…I was so messed up and…" I wasn't going to cry. I told myself I had cried enough.

Edward apparently didn't want me to cry either. "Bella it's okay. I love you."

I nodded and hugged him tightly. He bent down and pressed his lips to me gently. I felt him harden against me almost instantly and I pulled back and cocked an eyebrow at him.

He had the good graces to look mildly embarrassed, " Sorry."

I went to grab my Pepsi and reached with my hurt hand. My blood felt like it was boiling for a second and my vision went black.

"Bella are you okay?" I waved my hand at him to let me know I was okay. He picked up my hand and kissed the cut. My whole body started to vibrate with need. Edward froze, I felt like I had just had hours of foreplay.

"Well that's new and interesting."

Edward just nodded his head slowly.