Disclaimer: Ar Stef ova rued and now oficially owns ar Twilight... (somerset accent)

AN: Sorry took so long, we had to keep going through this because Tash can't type she kept putting random words in random sentances. We hope you enjoy our long words that we enjoyed looking up in the dictionary. Sarah: I especially enjoyed beating Tash with the dictionary (not physically, with words you violent thinking people...tut tut)...We aren't anti religious, or of any specific religion, God just suited our needs for this chapter...enjoy. R&R people, R&R...

Chapter 7

(God's POV- God can see all and read minds, so he's the best person to see at this moment)

Alice wandered on over to the kitchen, her pixie step slowed by the confusion she was suffering thanks to Edward's request. She picked up the phone and set about dialling Bella's home number. 'Let's see, there's a 0 and a 4. I remember there being an 8 and a 9, hmm'. Alice was having trouble, after all, having been around for a while she had learnt many phone numbers, now she was having trouble remembering the numbers and what order they went in. She decided to tap in some random numbers, in the hope that she would hit luck. Then paused. Ahh a vision was coming in! She could she herself on the phone, apologizing profusely. Hmm…maybe she wouldn't get it right. Then suddenly a brainwave! 'Oh yeah…after last time Esme got us one of those electronic phonebooks. Alice looked behind the phone and there it was, in all it's black shiny glory. She grabbed that and looked up Bella- which just happened to be under 'Eddies ticket to being virginity-less', Emmett had been let loose again, it seemed.


'She really is beautiful' Edward's thoughts didn't range a lot these days. Bella was thought to be beautiful no less than 1565 times a day. Even Edward couldn't watched Bella for a whole night and still be enthralled, so he decided to have a look at what the rest of the house was doing. Using his super hearing Edward heard that Carlisle and Esme were discussing the baby, Jasper was- cleanse, tone and moisturizing? Emmett and Rosalie were- eww! No! Bad thoughts! Emmett was now being 'punished', though this time he was enjoying it. A lot. And Alice. Alice was- oh no.


Alice was a bit worried. She assumed that Edward would want to speak to Charlie. She had dialled the number and was now impatiently waiting for Charlie to pick up. God humans were sloooooooow.


Edward leapt from the bed, and in his haste tripped over his own feet. 'Eurgh, Bella's clumsiness is rubbing off on me!' STOP WHINING EDWARD 'who are you?!' I AM YOUR FATHER- 'dad?!' YES, IT IS I- GOD 'God is in my head?' GOD IS EVERYWHERE- WHICH REMINDS ME TO REMIND YOU, ALICE. 'Alice? Alice!' GOODBYE EDWARD 'Thanks dad, I mean God.'


Come on Charlie. Pick up! Noise! Yes, that's the noise of a phone being picked up!


'Faster Edward, faster!' Edward ran out of his bedroom door and was nearing the stairs.


"Charlie? Hi, it's Alice. I got to tell you something. About Bella."


'Why?! Alice is supposed to be clever! Emmett is the stupid one!' Edward happened to say the last bit aloud.

"Hey! I am clever. Just not as clever as some others!" 'Yeah, like amoebas. Alice!


"Well, I don't know why Edward didn't want to come tell you himself but, well- BellaspregnantandEdwardsthefatherandshe'skeepingit!" Yes! All in one breath! New record for me! Hang on, did Charlie get that?


"ALICE!! NOOOOO! Too late. God giggled and left the Cullen household. He had to go see Charlie's face. God being God was great!


Charlie fell to the floor, the phone clanging to the floor. His baby, Bella pregnant? How? Well he knew the answer to that, that Edward boy. He knew he was trouble, he came waltzing in and got his daughter, his only daughter PREGNANT!

Charlie lay on the kitchen floor listening to the multiple theories of how to murder Edward that ran in all directions through his now muddled head. At first he didn't understand when he saw green and all the colors of the rainbow flash in front of his eyes…until he finally settled on the red that grew deeper and deeper as the seconds passed.

Charlie spent the next two hours planning his revenge. Yes, revenge may be best served cold, but Charlie's would be served with a sprinkling of gun powder. Charlie picked up his gun, grabbed his car keys and left the house. His destination? The Cullen household.


The dark air filled the house, Edward paced a once rested room. With a pair of scissors in hand he contemplated what to do next. With screaming apologies in his head and calming waves hitting him at every angle, his anger continued to build with his fear; he knew Charlie would be on his way, the vein in his head pulsing with the rage he was most likely trying to control. Suddenly the pacing deceased and a new spot was occupied; a single spot in front of a single blue dress. Alice probably knew many words to describe this dress, its blueness, its price, its background, design and significance. Malicious thoughts grew in Edward's head, accompanied by the ever increasing volume of pleading of Alice's thoughts. Jasper's fear grew with his own; they both knew what would happen if Edward's arm were to follow through with his mind's intentions.

Within a second it was over. The dress was in strips, Alice was fiercely ripping at Edward with new found hatred, anger marring her face. Jasper was long gone, Rosalie's smugness reigned over the spectacle that was taking place at her feet. Obviously, such a spectacle was beneath her, with a pointed look at Emmett she left the room, Emmett following dutifully. Edward just stood there, the anger and malicious intent leaving his face, only to be replaced with fear. He feared Alice, he had after all destroyed her favourite dress, but she knew as well that she deserved it; no, his biggest fear was slowly- actually quickly approaching. Charlie. Edward didn't know what to expect from the man. He had never had to deal with a father, whose daughter he had just impregnated. They weren't even married. Edwards old fashioned, gentlemanly side reared its courteous head. They would have to get married! The sooner the better. In fact, if they were married, everything would be better! It was okay to be married and pregnant at eighteen.

Edward left Alice's wardrobe with a new purpose, Alice still clutching his leg. After shaking her off, Edward headed to his private study to arrange the little details.


If Charlie was on duty he would have given himself a speeding ticket. He was speeding; just a little bit. If he had turned the siren and lights on no-one would be none the wiser, but as much as Charlie was breaking the law now he couldn't bring himself to completely disobey his calling. As it was Charlie was completing a half hour journey in under ten minutes; the things fatherly anger do to you. Tyres squealing, wheels spinning and breaks crying, Charlie's cruiser came careering up the Cullen's driveway - after missing the turning and doing a complete one eighty - landing inches from the bumper of Edward precious Volvo.

"Damn, I missed" So close, yet so far. Oh well there is more than one way to skin a cat, more than one way to make Edward bloody Cullen pay!

Charlie ran up to the door, pausing only to knock on the door. Esme opened it and beckoned him in. From there Charlie followed her into the living room, where the whole family- bar the bastard and his lovely daughter- were gathered.

"Where is he?!" Charlie demanded, his rage knowing no bounds. Carlisle stood up and was about to answer when Edwards voice was heard.

"DAAAADD!! Charlie's gonna kill meeeeee! And I can't even DIE!" This was followed by loud and pounding footsteps, as the once graceful Edward bounded down the stairs. Running immediately into the living room; he took one look, turned around and proceeded to run back up the stairs he had just vacated.

Ignoring the cries of the others Charlie ploughed up the stairs after Edward.

"I'll kill you! My only daughter! You ain't gonna be getting anyone else pregnant!! I promise I will make it hurt, you…you…you grandson of a preacher man!!"

Charlie received numerous incredulous looks from the surrounding Cullen's but he just carried on shouting abuse towards the one Cullen within his reach. Within one blink, Edward was in his room with the door locked and Charlie was only one step ahead of his prior stance. He didn't notice the displacement, his anger was blinding his mind from connecting time and placement. After tumbling along the landing, he finally reached Edward's bedroom door.

"A closed door doesn't scare me you know, I'm exactly apposed to shooting it down. I've done it enough times before, long before your time matey!"

"Wouldn't be before my time, but that's another story. How apposed are you to shooting a door down that has your daughter behind it? You may want to warn Esme if you are…last time, Emmett scratched the wall she punished him so bad that he won't even walk next to a wall anymore."

"Stop avoiding that point Edward. Why don't you get out here and face me like a man. You've been throwing your balls around enough, why don't you put them to place for once and stop hiding behind my daughter."

"I haven't been throwing my balls about! Only once, and that's what caused all this. If I thought this would happen, I would have capped it! Anyway, I'm not hiding behind your daughter! I've got her in my bed!" Realizing what he had said, "no not like that! She was tired, she's been about all day. She's sleeping."

"What on Earth?! Edward, why are you cowering underneath the desk?! Get up, come on get out."

"Bella, you don't understand, I'm scared. He wants to hurt me!" Edward stood- sat his ground- under the desk.

"Edward, you're a vampire! Who or more likely what could possible hurt you?"

"You father" Edward whispered from under the desk. Bella paled.

"Fuck."

"I heard that young lady! Open up or I will blow the lock! Cullen, get your scrawny ass out here, you've been lying to my daughter? Filling her head with your weird ideas? Is that how you got her to along with it?" Charlie was jumping to wilder and crazier ideas.

"Uh Dad, why don't you wait downstairs. We'll be down in a minute." After a silent moment of deliberation Charlie decided.

"Okay honey. I'll be in the living room, with everyone else." Charlie turned away from the door and nearly walked away when;

"Thank God, quick Bella grab a bag and start filling it with everything we'll need for a couple of days, I'll grab some money and we'll leave through the window. We can be in Kansas by tomorrow." Charlie spun around, seeing red. Again. This punk was gonna run off with his daughter? No bloody way. Charlie drew his gun and blew the lock. Kicking the door open he entered the room, gun raised ready to shot Edward if he tried anything.

The Cullen's just watched with interest, Esme already planning on getting Emmett to run out and get a new door.