Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
yay! Longest chapter I have ever written. (I'm pretty sure anyways)
BPOV
Edward just said he loves me. My heart swelled with joy and relief, before the pain and grief battened it down with a ferocious force. No matter how real his presence felt, there could only be one possible explanation for such a statement.
"I'm dreaming," I told him, watching his eyes widen and then a mischievous smirk creep across his face. He opened his mouth to speak but I steamrolled on, "This is nothing more than an elaborate and convoluted fantasy created by my subconscious."
"Are your dreams usually this vivid?" He injected.
"No." I admitted, "So maybe I'm in a coma. I did fall off the motorbike the other day. Maybe that's it," I refused to believe that what he said could be real. I babble on until a crushing force made me stop.
His marble lips moved with mine, his arms tightening around me, hands splayed across my back, forcing me closer. His lips, so cold and yet soft as petals, moved with such force I had to respond.
I hit him.
It wasn't the response he wanted, nor the one I wanted to give, but self-preservation gave me the strength to do it. I couldn't trust what he said anymore, I had told him that. He had left me only one option with that kiss. I didn't hurt him, he didn't even flinch, but his grip had loosened considerably, giving me what I wanted most.
I escaped while he still lay frozen in shock.
I blinked at the hallway outside, mouth opening in shock when I recognized it. He was right next to the room I had been in. I stormed away, muttering curses to whatever higher power that found my pain amusing. I preferred anger to hurt. Anger chased away all other emotions, letting me have a few minute without pain ripping through me. It only ever lasted a few minutes though.
I could never stay angry with Edward. Never hate him. Never be annoyed. Whenever he did something that should anger me thoroughly I forgave him in moments. I love him unconditionally, and there is no way to change that.
I hadn't paid attention as I walked, my mind so firmly wrapped up with thoughts of Edward I didn't notice when I came to a standstill in front of a large door. Curiosity getting the better of me I opened it, stepping hesitantly into the room.
I gasped in wonder.
Shelf after shelf of books lined the entire room. It was like a maze, one that I could spend eternity in, getting lost in fantastical worlds of happy endings.
I wandered through the shelves without purpose, longing to touch just one book, to open it and see the pages filled with words come to life before my eyes. I hadn't read since Edward had left me. I walked further, my eyes seeing the familiar authors of the classics until they rested on one title.
Wuthering Heights.
I stood and stared at it, remembering all the lazy afternoons I had spent reading it. And most of all trying to explain why it's such a good book to Edward. My fists clenched as I tried to dispel the memory.
"Bella?"
The musical voice echoed throughout the silent library. I spun to see the owner, only to be attacked by a speeding blur.
"I missed you so much!" Alice sobbed, her arms wrapped firmly round me. I hugged her back, tears welling in my own eyes.
"I missed you too," I murmured, unable to stop the tears from flowing freely. Suddenly she pulled back, eyeing me critically.
"When was the last time you got some decent sleep?" she demanded, taking offense from the dark circles that were constantly present.
"Four months ago," I whispered. She pulled me back for another bone crushing hug.
"I'm so so sorry. I had no idea what leaving would do to you, but Edward insisted and I couldn't contact you at all." She started to sob again, and I rubbed soothing circles into her back, trying desperately to calm her.
Eventually she did calm down, and we sat on the floor facing each other, talking about inane things. It felt good to see Alice again. She was my best friend, and losing her and almost hurt as much as losing Edward.
"Thanks, for talking to Jasper," she said suddenly, "he really needed the talking to." I nodded mutely, Jasper's words playing in my head once again.
He loves you, you know.
That was all it took.
Within seconds Alice was holding me in her arms as I sobbed into her shoulder. She rubbed my back and whispered soothing words as I broke down completely, crying every tear I had and ruining her top.
"I'm sorry," I sniffled, finally pulling away and wiping my eyes.
"It's fine Bella," she assured me, her golden eyes radiating compassion. We sat in silence for a while, both of us searching for something to say.
"How do you have girl talk if you're not talking?" said an irritated voice above us.
Rosalie's beautiful face glared at us, and Alice started to laugh.
"I was waiting for you to get here," she replied, "I think it will take both of us to get this one on the right track,"
"Just like the other one?"
"Yes, but we don't need to use any…stimulus on this one,"
"Speaking of that one, thanks for leaving me to finish up," Rosalie grinned wickedly, "But that one is now quite repentant."
Alice cackled. Well, in a human it would have been a cackle, but Alice's wind chime voice turned it into gentle music, rather than a harsh sound. Their confusing exchange was lost on me, but I was even more confused when Rosalie sat next to me, assessing my appearance with a critical glance.
"What did he do?" she asked finally, a note of fierceness creeping into her voice. I knew who she meant by he but that didn't stop me from playing dumb.
"What do you mean?" I asked, fooling no one.
"Edward." Alice replied shortly, "What did he do that got you in such a state?"
"The truth." Rosalie injected, "tell us everything,"
Their gazes were frighteningly frank and clear. I couldn't lie to them, I had to let it all out, even if I broke down yet again.
"He left," I began. "He lied. He kissed me. He made promises. He saved me. He helped me. He spoke to me. He touched me. He helps me sleep. He looks at me. He makes me feel safe. He broke me. He destroyed me. He abandoned me. He took away my best friend. He made me want to hate him. He's impossible to hate." I paused, the allegations against him coming quickly, "he became my whole world" my voice broke at the end, but no tears fell. I had no more tears to give.
Rosalie touched my hand hesitantly, reaching out to me, something I thought would never happen.
"How do you feel about him Bella?"
I stared at her open mouthed. I never thought that Rosalie would ever be part of such a conversation, but she was, and she was looking at me with the look of a caring older sister, the one who wants to make sure her baby sis chooses the right man.
"I love him," I breathed. It was one thing that had never changed. No matter how hurt, grief-stricken or broken I had become, that undeniable fact remained. I loved him with my entire heart, but that heart was endangered from getting ripped to shreds over and over by Edward's velvet voice.
Alice made sounds of approval, before interrogating me about what exactly had happened that resulted in me escaping to the library.
"Then what?" Alice asked eagerly when I told her about his promise and confession.
"He kissed me," I replied shakily, my mind still struggling to dispel the memory.
"So why are you here?" interrupted Rosalie, "Why aren't you making out with lover boy right now?"
"I hit him," I whispered. Alice laughed delightedly, whilst Rosalie grabbed my hand, checking it for injuries.
"You idiot!" she exclaimed when she was satisfied my hand was fine, "What if you had hurt your hand!"
"But she didn't Rose," Alice said gently, laughter still bubbling forth from her eyes. "More importantly," she continued, turning to me with a stern expression, "why did you hit him?"
"I couldn't believe him," I replied honestly, "he's lied and broken so many promises that I just can't trust him, no matter how much I love him," I felt sad as I voiced this fact. How do you trust someone who broke you so harshly? I didn't have the answer, and from the looks on their faces Alice and Rosalie didn't either.
Rosalie sighed.
"honestly what is with that boy?" she muttered distractedly before saying, "Bella, when Edward left, he broke too. Maybe-"
"Rose!" Alice exclaimed, grabbing her arm and dragging her to her feet, "We gotta go!"
"Why?" she asked
"Because Emmett's about to do something very stupid!" Alice said quickly, before speaking at a speed no human could under stand. Rosalie nodded, and they both left hastily, but not before calling bye to me. They practically ran out the room, leaving me dazed and confused, trying to work out what had happened.
I didn't have long to wait to figure out why.
Not two minutes after they left, Edward appeared.
I'm sorry, I'm mean. But I wasn't going to let them be all happy yet. Edward must be punished for his stupidity, and what better way than for him to be rejected by his one true love?
(insert maniacal laugh here)
Please vote on my poll, I want to know what you think.
Also a random question that has nothing to do with anything:
Whose hair do you think is the most fluffable in the film?
A) Edward
B)Jasper
C)Victoria
review? pretty please?
